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#1 of 27 Old 11-28-2010, 08:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Every year on the board there several discussions on holding back vs sending to K.. I am starting this now because I know that some charter schools in some areas start their enrollment processes in December (they do here) and here at least your have to get your paperwork in within the 2 week time frame which doesn't leave a lot of time to think things through.

 

We live in a good district, so I wont be applying for a charter. our district starts round ups in febuary so I am thinking ahead.

 

My ds2 will be 5 in march. On academics I have no worries. On the social level I am really nervous. He has never attended preschool because I really cannot afford it;headstart is not an option either since we are above their income guidelines he has a couple friends his own age. He is very clingy and shy and takes a very long time to warm up to people. At church he refuses to go to the pre-k class and would rather play in the nursery.I took him to story time at the library a few times. He hated it. He would not participate in the class instead he would stay on my lap the whole time.

 

I know things can change before school starts, but I cannot help but to worry. My ODD is special needs and my ODS is to smart for his own good..I am afraid that if I hold him back he will miss out on the academics that he is ready for..but I am afraid if I put him in I will be getting calls everyday about him not participating in class. FTR he has no behavior problems, he wont disrupt anyone or fight with other kids during the classes. He will just not participate in any way shape or form..he will find a corner and play alone happily with toys.

 

He has a weekly play-date with another boy that will be 5 in June. The other boy is like mine except he wants to participate he just doesn't understand what the other kids are doing (per mom) and he is in preschool 3 days a week. His mother has said she will be putting him into a pre-k program next year at the preschool as opposed to kindergarten. This is really NOT an option for me. I am leaning toward the try it and see how it goes in K decision but I am not a fan of the K schedule either. Our kids go 3 days a week, either Monday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday all day and then 1/2 day on friday Depending on what quadrant of the district you live in since we have 2 cities in our district. I hated this schedule last year with ODS because I could never get him on a good routine and having kids at 2 different schools with 2 different schedules and bus times was a major pain in my arse! so I am still on the fence..go figure!

 

So where is everyone else at in the decision making process?


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#2 of 27 Old 11-28-2010, 02:27 PM
 
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If you have other options besides the local ES I'd at least look into them--know what your options are. I'm in a" very good school district" also, but there are things that made it a bad choice for ds. We are much happier with the charter school ds is in this year.


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#3 of 27 Old 11-28-2010, 08:36 PM
 
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He turns 5 in March? That means he'll be 5.5 when kindie starts next Fall? I wouldn't hold back a child of that age whether they had preschool or not! Holding him back means he'll turn 7 during kindergarten and we've not seen that pan out well for those more extreme red-shirting cases. Plus, you are only talking 3 days a week right? Kids mature SO much between 4 and 5 and even MORE between 5 and 6. I'd register him and give it a try. If the week before school he seems way too immature, you can keep him out. Or you can try it and if it doesn't work, pull him.

 

Both my kids are young for grade. My DS started kindergarten at 4 years 10 months. We wouldn't change a thing.


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#4 of 27 Old 11-29-2010, 04:09 AM
 
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I'm also in "a very good district" in Ohio.   In this district with a Sept 30 cutoff almost 100% of kids are held out with Sept and Aug birthdays, dropping to almost zero with April/May birthdays.  (I've looked at the birthdays of all 150 of this year's 4th graders).  My observation with the older 3rd graders this year is that most of them are bored silly.  It figures, since they should be in the next grade up by now.  The material isn't appropriate.

 

You're talking about a child who is 4-6 months older than the cutoff.   Unless you are holding him out to remediate something specific that will affect his learning, send him. 

 

What you are describing is age-appropriate behavior.  The district's kindergarten schedule won't change with his age.

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#5 of 27 Old 11-29-2010, 06:34 AM
 
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That schedule really does suck.  It's still going to suck next year.  It is not a reason to hold your DS back in K.

 

Your DS is going to learn how to participate in group activities by being in group activities that encourage him to participate.  Keeping him out of school for another year isn't going provide that for him.  Kindergarten is a place where he can start to learn to participate.  Also, being the quiet kid in class will probably always just be part of his personality.  It most likely won't be out grown, so there is no point in holding him back b/c of it.

 

Since you are uncomfortable with sending him to the local public school, maybe you should look at the charters and apply any that have more reasonable schedules or that seem more supportive of shy quiet kids.


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#6 of 27 Old 11-29-2010, 06:43 AM
 
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I'm a little nervous about sending my youngest off to kindergarten next year as well.  He's also shy and slow to warm up.  But he's ready.  And I know he'll adjust and do wonderfully, but those first few days do have me worried. 

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#7 of 27 Old 11-29-2010, 07:38 AM
 
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March???  You are concerned about sending a kiddo with a March birthday?  Our cut-off is Dec 1 -- here your kid would be one of the oldest in the class!  Even with an earlier cut-off....  No way would I hold back a 5.5 year old.

 

My kids have Sept and Nov bdays and we sent them on time, at just 5, and not-yet 5.  They are happy and thriving. 

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#8 of 27 Old 11-29-2010, 11:30 AM
 
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Originally Posted by eepster View Post

That schedule really does suck.  It's still going to suck next year.  It is not a reason to hold your DS back in K.

 

Your DS is going to learn how to participate in group activities by being in group activities that encourage him to participate.  Keeping him out of school for another year isn't going provide that for him.  Kindergarten is a place where he can start to learn to participate.  Also, being the quiet kid in class will probably always just be part of his personality.  It most likely won't be out grown, so there is no point in holding him back b/c of it.

 

Since you are uncomfortable with sending him to the local public school, maybe you should look at the charters and apply any that have more reasonable schedules or that seem more supportive of shy quiet kids.


Totally agree with this.

 

Our area has a high rate of holding back summer birthdays, but I have seen very very few SPRING birthdays held- when they were they almost always had special needs and/or other issues (not english speaker, speech issues, learning disabilities, etc). Your DS would be 6.5 if you waited. That is big difference between the young 5s that maybe in the class. He could be 1.5 yrs older and that is a big difference developmentally.

 

Plus, your area basically does 1/2 day K (two full days and one 1/2) so it is not even full time-- I would go for it and send him. There are a lot of shy kids in school, the school is used to it and the teachers know how to help a child get into the routine.

 

If you are really worried, sign him up- go through the screening process. Trust the screeners---it is their JOB to work with K kids and see if they are ready socially, educationally, and emotionally. They will often make suggestions on waiting/going/etc. You could even start school. If it is does not work out-- you can pull him out and homeschool or wait.I dont know the mandatory age for school in your state, but keep that in mind too (it is often 6 or 7) as well if K is required (some areas it is not and you could wait a year and go straight into 1st or then pick K).

 

I would have LOVED to have sent my 5 yr olds this year (they have an Oct Bday w/ a Sept cut off).

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#9 of 27 Old 11-30-2010, 05:33 AM
 
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I would NEVER  hold back a child with a March birthday.  He will learn the things you are worried about in school. Kid also behave soooo much differently when they are in school than at home.  Kindergarten really is the start of school. Even if children have been to preschool/daycare kindergarten can still be intimidating. There will be an adjustment period for all the kids.  If you want ot consider homeschooling that's an option but to hold out a child with a march birthday would be 100% staying back with out giving him the opportunity to succeed.  Some children have trouble with school work, some have trouble with behavior or social, some are perfect little angles all the time. It's just the differences in people. Holding back doesn't stop that. :)  My son has a birthdya fairly close to our cut off and I thought about holding him out. Infact this time last year I would have said no way is he going.  By August there was no way I could see him not going. He was a Ker. No worries Mama, he will be fine. IF (big if here) he starts having trouble, cross that bridge when you come to it. :)

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#10 of 27 Old 11-30-2010, 08:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanx for all the replies!

 

I know the schedule wont change unfortunately..it still sucks. We are going to try it and see how it goes i am just a big worry wart mamma!


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#11 of 27 Old 12-01-2010, 08:35 AM
 
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March???  You are concerned about sending a kiddo with a March birthday?  Our cut-off is Dec 1 -- here your kid would be one of the oldest in the class!  Even with an earlier cut-off....  No way would I hold back a 5.5 year old.



Ditto this (but our cut-off is Dec 31).

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#12 of 27 Old 12-02-2010, 04:36 PM
 
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My mom worked at the local headstart and her stories alone prevent me from enrolling my 4 year old there. Scary stuff. I signed up my 4 year old at the public school's preschool, but she was 7th on the waiting list. At least if someone drops out, the list is kept and she could even get in in January. Otherwise, she will just start Kindergarten next August. My 5 year old didn't have any preschool, either, and she's doing quite well in school. She's picking things up really quickly. I attribute that to her deep desire to learn. 

 

ETA: School begins mid-August here, and the cutoff for birthdays is mid-November, so my 4 year old will turn 5 two days before school begins.


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#13 of 27 Old 12-02-2010, 09:59 PM
 
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My DD has a May birthday, and will start K5 in the fall. Her big brother has been home schooled for 2 years - he is also a May birthday, and wasn't remotely ready at age 5 to go to school. I really think it can go both ways, in terms of whether or not kids are ready. I would much prefer it for formal schooling to start at age 6 or even 7. You really need to consult your instincts come August, and trust yourself to make the right choice then.

I have also sworn a mighty vow not to have two young kids in two different schools. I sat out in the freezing cold all night to apply for a K5 and a 2nd grade slot at a good school, and if my kids aren't admitted, I will homeschool them again next year. I am NOT planning my life around conflicting pickup times for two don't-eat-boogers, hands-are-for-helping early elementary programs.
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#14 of 27 Old 12-04-2010, 11:44 AM
 
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I'm still debating whether to send my youngest to K in the Fall.  She will turn 5 in October, about 2 months after school starts.  I think academically she will be fine, and socially as well, but I am nervous because she has a pretty big speech problem.  She can and does speak your ear off, but her articulation isn't where it should be for her age.  I know there are speech services at school, but I think being in speech takes away from classroom learning. I don't know, still really torn!


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#15 of 27 Old 12-04-2010, 12:38 PM
 
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I'm still debating whether to send my youngest to K in the Fall.  She will turn 5 in October, about 2 months after school starts.  I think academically she will be fine, and socially as well, but I am nervous because she has a pretty big speech problem.  She can and does speak your ear off, but her articulation isn't where it should be for her age.  I know there are speech services at school, but I think being in speech takes away from classroom learning. I don't know, still really torn!



Just to let you know, when my kids were in kindie, kids were getting pulled out of classes all the time for their various things. Many, many kids were in speech and did great in school. Is she in speech now? If not go talk to the school district. Some like ours start offering free therapy starting at age 3. They younger they start the more successful the therapy.


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#16 of 27 Old 12-05-2010, 05:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inkslinger View Post

I'm still debating whether to send my youngest to K in the Fall.  She will turn 5 in October, about 2 months after school starts.  I think academically she will be fine, and socially as well, but I am nervous because she has a pretty big speech problem.  She can and does speak your ear off, but her articulation isn't where it should be for her age.  I know there are speech services at school, but I think being in speech takes away from classroom learning. I don't know, still really torn!



Just to let you know, when my kids were in kindie, kids were getting pulled out of classes all the time for their various things. Many, many kids were in speech and did great in school. Is she in speech now? If not go talk to the school district. Some like ours start offering free therapy starting at age 3. They younger they start the more successful the therapy.

 

I took her to the school last year for an assessment and the therapist didn't think her speech was bad enough to warrant therapy.  I still have to translate what she says to the majority of people, I know she isn't where she should be at her age.
 


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#17 of 27 Old 12-05-2010, 11:54 PM
 
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My ds1 has never attended preschool either. He doesn't like to sit quietly for story time at the library(at home he jumps around while I read a book), he would rather go off and do his own thing. He plays on his own a lot and is very stubborn and hates being told what to do. He will be 5 in May. The school district is the best in town, and all my local friends have great memories of going to school there. Almost all of our friends are homeschooling... In Alaska you don't even have to send your kid to K (you can just put them in first w/o doing any K work with them!). Weird huh?

As for advice, I would see if there is a Head Start program attached to the school your LO will be going to and send him there PT. Or a home preschool. Good luck :)


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#18 of 27 Old 12-06-2010, 10:21 AM
 
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My ds1 has never attended preschool either. He doesn't like to sit quietly for story time at the library(at home he jumps around while I read a book), he would rather go off and do his own thing. He plays on his own a lot and is very stubborn and hates being told what to do. He will be 5 in May. 


:) Your son sounds like my Sophia. 


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#19 of 27 Old 12-07-2010, 08:52 AM
 
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:) Your son sounds like my Sophia. 



Too bad you're not up in Fairbanks!! They could be friends. :)


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#20 of 27 Old 12-07-2010, 10:29 AM
 
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:) Your son sounds like my Sophia. 



Too bad you're not up in Fairbanks!! They could be friends. :)


Too bad you're not down in Anchorage, they could be friends. orngtongue.gif


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#21 of 27 Old 12-22-2010, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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As some food for thought:

 

Yesterday was DS1's k class reunion, and I spoke with the K teacher about my son along with another mom. Her recomendation was to get the screening done but she said that because of our districts half day schedule alot of kids are having a rough time at 5. When they are at school its all academic and no free/play time since the kids are pushed hard to learn. I wont be holding my son back but I can say that I am not worried nonetheless about how it will play out for him at first.


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#22 of 27 Old 12-24-2010, 11:20 PM
 
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On the speech front, don't use that as a reason to hold her back.  She can get services once in school (her issues and birthday will determine what is offered when, though).  As for being pulled out, that interrupts nothing in kinder.  And if she's ready academically, it won't hinder anything anyway.  My DD gets pulled twice a week for speech - she misses music one day and handwriting the other day.  It's not a big deal as the teacher sends home the handwriting sheet and there are other music opportunities.  It's only a couple times a week and the help she'd be getting is worth missing a few things, honestly. 

 

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#23 of 27 Old 12-27-2010, 03:11 AM
 
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So interesting to read the differences about kindy! 

 

We are sending DD to a French language school (both DH and I were educated in French before English). They have always run a full day kindy...but kindy is a two year process beginning at 4 yrs. What I remember is a lot of play time, some time to sing...I remember playing house, playing on the computer, having chicken eggs in the classroom and watching them hatch, water tables, painting, an indoor play structure...and I remember some circle time. 

 

DD is in preschool now (3 days a week and loves it) but she is the classical "first child" who prefers to socialize with adults rather than children her age. She loves preschool though! Especially the cars and dinosaurs :) The other children like her too. She has some speech issues but getting much better. Where I am concerned but will speak with the school is her gross motor skills - she has low muscle tone and needs ankle braces but has trouble with things like balancing to put on pants. We had physio but she was discharged from that. 

 

At home, she loves to read and be involved in whatever I am doing. I know she follows directions well so I figure why not give her the opportunity! I also hear it is a great school, but registration is in February for next September so I will check it out then.

 

My philosophy is, take it one day at a time, and if it really doesn't work for her, I will take her out. 


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#24 of 27 Old 12-29-2010, 01:35 PM
 
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Thought I would chime in since this is not an option I saw anyone else share...

 

Here in IL, mandatory school age is 7yrs.  Not sure what it is there.  It is possible to skip kindy and just start at 1st grade.

 

My ds was not ready (emotionally) for preschool, kindy or even 1st grade.  I homeschooled him during that time, keepinghim at grade level until he was ready.  He enrolled in 2nd grade at the local public school this year and is doing very well.

 

I do agree that the schedule isn't very good.  I am not a fan of full day kindy for any child, esp one that has not had the experience of preschool.  It is a very long day.

 

It is good that you are thinking ahead.  I'm sure that no matter what decision you make, it will be right for your family.


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#25 of 27 Old 12-30-2010, 08:31 AM
 
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Thought I would chime in since this is not an option I saw anyone else share...

 

Here in IL, mandatory school age is 7yrs.  Not sure what it is there.  It is possible to skip kindy and just start at 1st grade.

 

Only do this with great care.  In districts like mine, if you home school kindergarten, they will refuse to place the child in first grade and instead place into kindergarten.

 

Quote:
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She said that because of our districts half day schedule alot of kids are having a rough time at 5.


This might be a red herring.  Many kids have a hard time making an adjustment to full day academics regardless of age, but the every other day routine is something that most preschoolers do.  At 3, my son struggled with the unpredictability of the week, and we just made him a week's calendar with the school days (and other activities marked), and included a flag to know which day was tomorrow.  He very quickly adapted with the increased predictability. 

 

While the studies show that the differences between an on-time start and delayed start evaporate by the end of third grade, from helping in DD's classroom, the differences were gone by the end of kindergarten.

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#26 of 27 Old 12-31-2010, 07:29 AM
 
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Quote:
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Thought I would chime in since this is not an option I saw anyone else share...

 

Here in IL, mandatory school age is 7yrs.  Not sure what it is there.  It is possible to skip kindy and just start at 1st grade.

 

Only do this with great care.  In districts like mine, if you home school kindergarten, they will refuse to place the child in first grade and instead place into kindergarten.

 That's something to look into, then.  Here in IL HS'ing is really easy.  I put my son into 2nd grade a few months after school started w/ no testing questions or anything.  Definitely find out about your state's laws/ requirements if this is something you are thinking about doing.  Wouldn't want to get burned...


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#27 of 27 Old 01-01-2011, 09:27 AM
 
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Our kindy is quite different. It is a half-day of learning and the other half is like preschool with free play and self-discovery. I guess it all depends on the school board.


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