3rd grade repetition - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 02-28-2011, 07:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi All,

 

I'm new this this form. I have 8yrs old daughter who goes to 3rd grade. She is one grade ahead (suppose to be in 2nd grade). I'm in big dilemma on whether I should have her repeat 3rd grade or not. She is youngest in her class.

 

I transferred her from private to public in 3rd grade. She was having problems with Reading initially but she did catchup and doing good. Getting "A"'s in Math, Science and SS and B in Language Arts. I did talk to her teacher who says that she is doing fine and doesn't need grade repeat. Will it help her repeating 3rd grade ? Sometimes, schools don't enroll students in Advanced classes if they don't get A's in report card. Will it harm her repeating a grade ? After 3rd grade, I can't have her repeat. So, wanted some advise on this. I would really appreciate your advise.

 

Thanks,

Spatel

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#2 of 10 Old 02-28-2011, 09:11 AM
 
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I would not hold her back. A child being bored, which she would be if she is making thoe grades, can also be detrimental. There is no guarantee that she would make better grades. I honestly don't see any benefit to holding a child back who is making one B. Also, I cannot imagine a school that would allow it.

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#3 of 10 Old 02-28-2011, 09:18 AM
 
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I wouldn't hold her back, either.  She's not going to be kept out of advanced classes based on her third grade performance, and it sounds like she's doing fine in any event. 

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#4 of 10 Old 02-28-2011, 09:24 AM
 
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I absolutely would not hold her back. Sounds like she's doing great in 3rd grade and even getting a little challenge in language arts. I know that parents like to see those straight "A's" but truely, that does not mean your child is being well educated. "A's" that take little to no work are pretty darn worthless. Kids need to have areas that require some effort, some study. So she doesn't get into the advanced class because of a "B." That just means she's getting appropriately challenged where she is. She'll get her advanced classes in math and other areas if it really takes only an "A" to get in advanced. Really think about it... you are going to ask her to repeat a whole year of material she's not only completed but completed at an above-average level at? You don't think she's going to be bored out of her mind? You don't think she'll secretly feel like a dunce for having to do it again... to watch her friends advanced without her. Are you really going to put her next teacher in the position of having to accomodate her because the work will be way too easy?

 

Studies on retention show that it's usually a negative. Yes, there are certain cases where it can be a benefit but your DD doesn't fit that profile at all. The majority suffer from lower self-esteem, lower over-all achievement and even higher drop-out rates. Why do that to a kid who is really doing great where she is!

 

Both my kids turned 8 in 3rd grade, were/are the youngest and are doing great academically and socially. My eldest is in highschool now and for the first time, getting a "B" in a class and she's working hard! I think it's fantastic! I mean, she has to face that she's not going to be the best at everything and that she's going to have to figure out how she learns and what study methods work for her. I'm grateful she's learning this before college!

 

Based on what you shared, don't do it!


Married mom of two, DD 17 and DS 13.
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#5 of 10 Old 02-28-2011, 09:56 AM
 
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You have only mentioned academic concerns as a reason for retention. From what you've written, the only area of concern is language arts, where she is doing well with a "B". That is certainly a good basis to progress to the next grade. Particularly since she's shown excellent achievements in all her other subjects. Retention is likely to have an adverse impact on her performance, since she will have little incentive to pay attention and work hard in subjects she has already mastered.  Those A's may turn into B's next year just out of sheer boredom and unwillingness to repeat work she's done once.  

 

You don't mention social issues and her adjustment to her new school, other than to say she is the youngest.  Since you don't mention it, presumably there are no concerns and she's happy with her classmates and friends in her current grade. It seems unfair to create a situation where she must make another adjustment with a new class. If she already fits in with the older class and has the necessary maturity, she may find it difficult to spend her days with the younger group. 

 

You don't mention her thoughts and wishes on the matter. Does she want to progress? If she does, and she knows that she has the grades to progress, holding her back is likely to create resentment, discouragement, disincentive and result in poor performance. 

 

I don't see any good reason to hold her back. If you have real concerns about language arts, it's worth discussing with her teacher on how best to address now and into next year. I'm sure there are many options other than retention. 

 

 

 

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#6 of 10 Old 03-01-2011, 05:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much for the valuable advise. I really appreciate it.

 

Actually, I did talk to my daughter and she doesn't want to repeat either. But, I thought may be repeating (since she is one grade ahead) will make her basis more strong. Socially, she doesn't have any problems. She does respond in class and does go along (mingle) with friends. I did talk to both of her teachers (math and reading) and they don't want her to repeat. Since 3rd grade has EOG tests, I was bit concerned.

 

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#7 of 10 Old 03-02-2011, 11:53 AM
 
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EOG tests?

 

Is this about whether she'll get into some sort of G&T program? And you're afraid that the grade skip will make her no longer look ahead of level when she's evaluated for entry into the G&T program?

 

Surely there's someone you can talk to in the school system about that concern. Start by telling her teachers why you're worried.

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#8 of 10 Old 03-02-2011, 02:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post

EOG tests?

 

 

End of Grade.
 

 


"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#9 of 10 Old 03-02-2011, 04:52 PM
 
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Your child has all As except for one B and you think that may be she should repeat so she can get into advanced classes later?

 

Besides agreeing with everyone else that she should to go 4th next year, I think you need to really chill out about grades or you risk making her a little nutty over the long haul.

 

My parents were into the whole straight A thing, and by middle school, my sister's hair started falling out (seriously). She always got straight As, right through college, but she's still a perfectionist who's never happy with anything she does. I ended up giving up (because I couldn't get straight As)  and getting C and D, cutting class etc. As an adult, it was difficult for me to learn that my best is good enough, and it's OK to do things even if I can't do them perfectly. 

 

Your child's best is good enough. Really. It's one of the best things you can teacher her.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#10 of 10 Old 03-02-2011, 07:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post



 

End of Grade.
 

 


Then there's no problem whatsoever.

 

 

Now, if you think that her B in that area reflects a special difficulty she's having, don't let them tell you that only kids who fail could have learning disabilities.

 

It doesn't seem like you're concerned about LDs, so I'll suggest that you figure out ways to relax about your dd's grades.

 

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