Pedophile Shopping List: Compliments of Your Local School District - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 03-02-2011, 06:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know that this title grabbed the attention of every mommy out there...and I can't believe that I forgot to write in and tell everyone about it. I found out about this by accident.....found some paper in my kids backpack the first day of school that mentioned something about a Public Directory.........and how the school has the legal right to publish and distribute certain info unless a parent  specifyed otherwise (what killed me was when I hysterically spoke to about ten other moms in the neighborhood, noone had seen the letter or heard of this)

 

anyways, and bear with me bc I'm sooo tired........but basiclly the school has the legal right to publish and distribute your child's name, address, birthday, photo, attendance info, awards, membership in clubs, phone, etc etc.......This directory can be given to anyone.....I don't know the legal rights involved with putting the info on the school website...

 

When I found all this out I contacted our principal right away.......she didn't know what it was......even scarier, the superintendent didn't know either...........we found out that it is a federal thing..........all schools have the right to do this---without notifiying parents........just some choose not to.......

 

Our K-3 doesn't do this........but our principal said she didn't know about the other school 4-9........my neighbor is a teacher in the next city...her school distributes a smaller version of this directory.............while other schools may send out a vague letter asking for permission to publish info, they aren't legally required.......

 

OH: so my whole point........we have two registered sex offenders in our small neighborhood.....one lives a few doors down from the school and actually has a kid...........over my dead body do I want some registered sex offender parent with my kid's info............

 

And when I talked to some mom friends of mine, one said she didn't have a problem with all that info being out there bc someone could easily find out that info on the internet........I don't know.......it's a bit differnt when you are physically holding a directory in your hand with sooooo much info.....

 

I'm just sharing this bc I wanted other mommies to be aware........I know, it's March, I should have written this in Sept, but life has been crazy........(bullying, school bus trauma, and the list goes on..........)

 

Thanks for listening......

(I'll be posting something about problems on a school bus....so looking for assistance with that one)


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#2 of 19 Old 03-02-2011, 07:48 PM
 
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Are you referring to FERPA?  If so, here is some info on it and due to Righthaven, I'm not sure how much I can copy.  eyesroll.gif

 

...Schools must tell parents and eligible students about directory information and allow parents and eligible students a reasonable amount of time to request that the school not disclose directory information about them. Schools must notify parents and eligible students annually of their rights under FERPA....

 

http://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html

 

 

 

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#3 of 19 Old 03-02-2011, 07:50 PM
 
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I love having our school directory.  Make it easy to contact classmates.  The way our school does it is everyone submits their info if they want it published.

 

 

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#4 of 19 Old 03-02-2011, 08:55 PM
 
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The registered sex offenders are not the ones you need to be worrying about.  Most kids are abused by someone they know.  The likelihood of some registered sex offender getting his hands on the directory and then seeking out a child from the list is very slim. 

 

You seem very concerned about your children's safety.  Have you read "protecting the Gift" by Gavin Debecker?

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#5 of 19 Old 03-02-2011, 09:21 PM
 
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Nope... our school not only has an "opt out" option for parents and  no one but a parent or guardian can get a hold of a copy.  Our PTA ladies keep a tight lid on them. Not because of pedophiles but because there's been some trouble in the past with folks selling the lists for ads/soliciting and such.

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#6 of 19 Old 03-02-2011, 09:28 PM
 
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The registered sex offenders are not the ones you need to be worrying about.  Most kids are abused by someone they know.  The likelihood of some registered sex offender getting his hands on the directory and then seeking out a child from the list is very slim. 

 

You seem very concerned about your children's safety.  Have you read "protecting the Gift" by Gavin Debecker?

Doesn't the existence of such an exhaustive public record provide protection to the abuser who is close to the child? Child gets abused and it could be "anyone" because all that personal information is just out there for the taking. That puts less attention on the people the child knows--the ones who were more likely to have done the crime.

 

I also have to wonder, are more crimes committed by people the child knows because those people are the ones who have the personal information the school is proposing to put in a public directory? Maybe some unregistered sex offender out there is only abusing her niece because she doesn't know enough about other kids to get them to be willing to go home with her. We don't have studies on that because most people and schools aren't stupid enough to publish books with tons of personal info about the kids.

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#7 of 19 Old 03-02-2011, 10:00 PM
 
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Our school has a directory, and you have to fill out out a special form to be included. I love the directory because it has all the parents names. It helps build community. It's very easy to opt out or to include only the information you want. Only families that attend the school get a copy, and nothing is on the web site.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#8 of 19 Old 03-02-2011, 10:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post



Doesn't the existence of such an exhaustive public record provide protection to the abuser who is close to the child? Child gets abused and it could be "anyone" because all that personal information is just out there for the taking. That puts less attention on the people the child knows--the ones who were more likely to have done the crime.

 

I also have to wonder, are more crimes committed by people the child knows because those people are the ones who have the personal information the school is proposing to put in a public directory? Maybe some unregistered sex offender out there is only abusing her niece because she doesn't know enough about other kids to get them to be willing to go home with her. We don't have studies on that because most people and schools aren't stupid enough to publish books with tons of personal info about the kids.


Kids are more likely to be sexually abused by someone close to them because the abuser has easy access to them. Very few parents are going to let a stranger hang around their young child when they aren't around, most parents have no problem with Uncle Joe coming for a visit and watching the kids while mom gets the shopping done without distraction.

 


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#9 of 19 Old 03-03-2011, 06:34 AM
 
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Pedophiles do not need your school directory to find kids.  They go looking for the easy targets.  I saw our neighborhood pedophile at the local library hanging out to the close to the kids section.  I told the library staff and a woman I knew who son was in their alone.  Everyone treated it with disregard. They had an incident in one of their public restrooms, so I thought they might care.

 

We watch him because he watches the neighborhood kids.  He rides his bike when the kids get out of school to see who is going home alone.  He puts stuffed animals and toys in his front porch; we think he tries to lure young kids.   His parol officer said he is likely to abuse again.  My kids know what he looks like and that he is a dangerous person, and we have talked about how to avoid him.

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#10 of 19 Old 03-03-2011, 07:09 AM
 
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Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Kids are more likely to be sexually abused by someone close to them because the abuser has easy access to them. Very few parents are going to let a stranger hang around their young child when they aren't around, most parents have no problem with Uncle Joe coming for a visit and watching the kids while mom gets the shopping done without distraction.


Yes, this. Pedophiles typically groom the children they abuse to create trust & make it less likely the child will tell. That process isn't quick & easy. The chances of someone snatching up your child are slim. If your child is molested, it's almost always going to be someone you *know* - statistically it's a relative - and not just some random person. From a school directory, one couldn't tell if a child was likely to be more trusting, have parents around, etc.

 


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#11 of 19 Old 03-03-2011, 10:19 AM
 
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Our Montessori sends out a directory with the addy,phone number, and names of the kid in the school,and the parents. Pervs will find your kids regardless,but your list with birthday and child  picture goes a bit far. I don't mind the list so much,but I did not really appreciate a mom calling me to complain about my son and hers. Most parents use the list to send out birthday invites. There SHOULD be an opt out option. No wonder identity theft is so bad.

 

On a side note I think the sex offender list is useless.Does it really help to know you have some living close by? What about the many perverts out there who have never been caught? Better to keep a watchful eye on your child.2,400 people go missing every day.

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#12 of 19 Old 03-03-2011, 10:21 AM
 
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How sad that people just wait around until this guy kills a kid,and THEN everyone will be up in arms about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by melissa17s View Post

Pedophiles do not need your school directory to find kids.  They go looking for the easy targets.  I saw our neighborhood pedophile at the local library hanging out to the close to the kids section.  I told the library staff and a woman I knew who son was in their alone.  Everyone treated it with disregard. They had an incident in one of their public restrooms, so I thought they might care.

 

We watch him because he watches the neighborhood kids.  He rides his bike when the kids get out of school to see who is going home alone.  He puts stuffed animals and toys in his front porch; we think he tries to lure young kids.   His parol officer said he is likely to abuse again.  My kids know what he looks like and that he is a dangerous person, and we have talked about how to avoid him.



 

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#13 of 19 Old 03-03-2011, 10:58 AM
 
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You said the school sent home a form with your child stating that you could refuse to have his/her information released. That sounds like a pretty deliberate action on the part of the school to give you the right to refuse information release. All you have to do is fill out and sign the form. I cannot believe that the principal knew nothing about this. I think I would be more worried about that!

 

At our school, on re-enrollment day you have to fill out a form allowing them to release photos. If you don't want your child photographed at all, you sign the form stating so. I don't know though, does every school do a re-enrollment day a few weeks before school starts?

 

Our school directory is published by the parent group and they will list only the information provided by the parent/guardian. You can choose (or not) to have the guardian's name(s), address, phone numbers and/or email. Some people provide everything, others may only provide phone number or email.

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#14 of 19 Old 03-04-2011, 08:58 AM
 
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Exactly.  And I'm always amazed at how, so many times, it is the parents themselves who make their kids easy targets.  For instance, I know many parents who post loads of personal info about their kids on Facebook, along with pictures.  I'm not even a member of Facebook, but I have searched for long lost friends and just by seeing their "likes" I know exactly where their kids go to school, what scouting troop they are members of, where they go to dance class, what soccer league they play for, etc.  If someone was out to do harm, they surely could use this info to their advantage.

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PedophEiles do not need your school directory to find kids.  They go looking for the easy targets.

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#15 of 19 Old 03-04-2011, 09:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Virginia Mom View Post

 

OH: so my whole point........we have two registered sex offenders in our small neighborhood.....one lives a few doors down from the school and actually has a kid...........over my dead body do I want some registered sex offender parent with my kid's info............

 


Why would he want a piece of paper when he can get your kids info from HIS kid and come hang out near your house and look at the real thing?

 

Read Protecting the Gift.  Selecting a target is much harder than reading a name and address.  You can easily make your kid a terrible target by how you raise and educate them.  You don't need to be frightened of these people, you can defeat them with vigilance and knowledge.

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#16 of 19 Old 03-04-2011, 09:46 AM
 
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Why would he want a piece of paper when he can get your kids info from HIS kid and come hang out near your house and look at the real thing?

 

Read Protecting the Gift.  Selecting a target is much harder than reading a name and address.  You can easily make your kid a terrible target by how you raise and educate them.  You don't need to be frightened of these people, you can defeat them with vigilance and knowledge.



I second the recommendation for the book Protecting the Gift.  It was a fabulous read.

 

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#17 of 19 Old 03-04-2011, 09:54 AM
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I love my kids' school directories and have never opted out. 

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#18 of 19 Old 03-04-2011, 11:10 AM
 
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My kid's school had a directory. Our parish even had once that listed kid's names. When I was a child our school had a directory and my sister and I were alone after school for a couple hours from the time I was 5 and she was 7. It would be pretty easy for a pedophile who wanted to target a child who is every left alone to do so. They could easily find out there name by listening to them talk to other kids then follow them home to get their address. I think the key is not to put your kids in a situation where they could be abused rather than complaining about a directory that most parents probably like having.

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#19 of 19 Old 03-04-2011, 11:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melissa17s View Post

Pedophiles do not need your school directory to find kids.  They go looking for the easy targets.  I saw our neighborhood pedophile at the local library hanging out to the close to the kids section.  I told the library staff and a woman I knew who son was in their alone.  Everyone treated it with disregard. They had an incident in one of their public restrooms, so I thought they might care.

 

We watch him because he watches the neighborhood kids.  He rides his bike when the kids get out of school to see who is going home alone.  He puts stuffed animals and toys in his front porch; we think he tries to lure young kids.   His parol officer said he is likely to abuse again.  My kids know what he looks like and that he is a dangerous person, and we have talked about how to avoid him.

that is crazy and scary for any kid whose parent who isn't vigilant or has done as you have and alerted your kids to him being dangerous even if they aren't sure why...Wow, just wow is all I can say about that...

Nothing will happen of course as someone said, just gotta wait until he hurts another kid or even worse...I swear it makes my blood boil.
 

 

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