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#1 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 08:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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#2 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 08:34 AM
 
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Is this a Christian based school or a public school?  If it is a public school, they have no right teaching abstinence based on Christian beliefs. 


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#3 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 08:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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#4 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 09:20 AM
 
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Abstinence only sex education is currently the norm at public schools.

 

Is the program actually a Christian program? That you could really make some waves about.  Anything about god is off limits.

 

The abstinence only part really isn't something that making a sink about will effect anything.

 

You can opt out, but ask exactly what your child will be doing during that time. At our public school, they divided the kids by gender for sex ed, having all the girls from two classrooms go to one room and all the boys go to the other. One gender had a study hall while the other had sex ed with the school nurse, and then it switched. (our program was an hour a week for 6 weeks)

 

So if I had opted my DD out of it, she would have gone to another classroom with all the boys from two classrooms and had a study hall. Which I felt was really, really inappropriate.

 

She went ahead and had "sex miseducation" as we decided to call it as a family. The good part was that every week she had a discussion sheet that she had to have signed by me, so I always knew the highlights of what she was being told. It was really present more balanced information, and on the plus side, we had a bunch of conversations about sex, bought some new books, etc., so it was a positive thing in her life.

 

The school really can't undo all your good parenting through silly stuff like this. Don't give it more power than it has, which really isn't very much.

 

 

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but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#5 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 09:30 AM
 
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Yep, just do better parenting. Make sure your kid knows the true big picture of human sexuality. Abstinence only is ridiculous in my book because sex is part of a healthy adulthood.
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#6 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 10:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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#7 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 10:52 AM
 
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So sorry you have to deal with this garbage.  I would make a huge stink about the Christian affiliation of these groups dictating school curriculum.  I would ask to attend the program and add my opinion whenever I thought that the presenters were pushing a religious agenda.

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#8 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 12:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AtYourCervices View Post

It is Christian based, talking about "Absolute Truths", connected with Heartbeat International, Teens for Life, True Love Waits, Silver Ring Thing, Focus on the Family, "Medical Institute" and more. It's disgusting, really.



Wow. In a public school? Make a stink time for sure.

 

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#9 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 12:54 PM
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So if I had opted my DD out of it, she would have gone to another classroom with all the boys from two classrooms and had a study hall. Which I felt was really, really inappropriate.

 

She went ahead and had "sex miseducation" as we decided to call it as a family. 

 

 

I'm just curious, why would it be inappropriate for your daughter to have a study hall with her male peers? The study hall part or the fact that she is in a classroom full of boys?

 

Also I love "sex miseducation"...Love it!

 

 

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#10 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 01:04 PM
 
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That is repulsive.  But Ignorance Only programs are pretty common.

 

My kids take OWL at the UU church my husband takes them to.  While I think OWL is a terrific program (and is the primary reason for our UU involvement), there is no way on earth a public school could ever offer something like that. It just would not fly with the overwhelming majority of parents, because gawd forbid that kids get comprehensive information.

 

I think in your situation I would put up a stink about the Christian orientation of the program.  If you know of other parents who would object, by all means organize something.

 

In the meanwhile, I'd do as Linda on the Move suggests.  It is a good opportunity for conversation with your child.

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#11 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 01:17 PM
 
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I would absolutely raise a stink about that. The Christian aspects have no place in a public school. If the planned curriculum does not change, then I would pull my child from school during those times. There is no way that I want my kids being subjected to that. I would explain to them why and use it as an opportunity for teaching them as I see fit. No need to make them sit through it in order to make it into a learning opportunity for them.


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#12 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 01:58 PM
 
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I would absolutely raise a stink about that. The Christian aspects have no place in a public school. If the planned curriculum does not change, then I would pull my child from school during those times. There is no way that I want my kids being subjected to that. I would explain to them why and use it as an opportunity for teaching them as I see fit. No need to make them sit through it in order to make it into a learning opportunity for them.


While I agree with you.. the Op is in Georgia.. its just assumed that EVERYONE is xtian. This is in the top ten of why we moved away from there. So sure, fight the good fight but don't be surprised when you don't very far.
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#13 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 03:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post



I'm just curious, why would it be inappropriate for your daughter to have a study hall with her male peers? The study hall part or the fact that she is in a classroom full of boys?

 

Also I love "sex miseducation"...Love it!

 

 

 

 

This was in 6th grade. The kids were all pretty goofy/silly/embarrassed about the whole thing, so to take that highly charged environment and single her out with just the boys *might* have caused some stupid comments from the boys. Under normal circumstances being the only girl in a class would be odd, but not that big of a deal. To be the only girl in the room while all the boys know that the rest of the girls are in the next room talking about SEX is really not something that 11-12 year old boys could handle.  It wasn't something she wanted to experience and I really respected that.

 

For us, it became part of my on-going speech that I really respect her choices and will always back them up, that I have faith in her to make good choices for herself.

 

We used the whole thing as a learning experience. She got to hear for herself first hand the arguments for absence and we discussed them. It was a valuable experience. Part of whether or not that can happen really depends on your child and their ability to think critically, and your OKness with them hearing different points of view.
 

 


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#14 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 05:54 PM
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This was in 6th grade. The kids were all pretty goofy/silly/embarrassed about the whole thing, so to take that highly charged environment and single her out with just the boys *might* have caused some stupid comments from the boys. Under normal circumstances being the only girl in a class would be odd, but not that big of a deal. To be the only girl in the room while all the boys know that the rest of the girls are in the next room talking about SEX is really not something that 11-12 year old boys could handle.  It wasn't something she wanted to experience and I really respected that.

 

For us, it became part of my on-going speech that I really respect her choices and will always back them up, that I have faith in her to make good choices for herself.

 

We used the whole thing as a learning experience. She got to hear for herself first hand the arguments for absence and we discussed them. It was a valuable experience. Part of whether or not that can happen really depends on your child and their ability to think critically, and your OKness with them hearing different points of view.
 

 


ahhh...I was thinking HIGH SCHOOL...Ok that definitely makes sense now and yikes they are teaching sex ed in 6th grade now? It was barely covered in my high school "health" class which was boys and girls and mostly just about anatomy...I actually loved it. I got an A+ in the class (bragging WOO) and basically knew everything they were teaching, so thanks high school health class...

 

Linda, you sound like you are handling it so well! I actually agree that being able to be in the class is a great start for a conversation about all the problems with abstinence only education or just recognizing that there is a lot more to "it"....You are such a good mama!

 

I would have been mortified by being stuck in a room full of boys in that situation at that age, I already had big boobs and it was miserable enough with young boys like that...Ick.

 

The only reason I would pull DD from an abstinence only sex ed class is if it was specifically religiously geared. I would not abide that at all.

 

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#15 of 221 Old 04-19-2011, 08:49 PM
 
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They didn't really teach them about sex. they taught them that if they had sex, they would get pregnant ( because birth control doesn't work). Having a baby would ruin their lives, and then they would die of aids.

So every one should wait for marriage.

That took 4 weeks.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#16 of 221 Old 04-20-2011, 04:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

They didn't really teach them about sex. they taught them that if they had sex, they would get pregnant ( because birth control doesn't work). Having a baby would ruin their lives, and then they would die of aids.

So every one should wait for marriage.

That took 4 weeks.


smile.gif  Maybe the district could hire you as an efficiency expert. 
 

 

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#17 of 221 Old 04-21-2011, 01:23 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you are dealing with a program that you don't trust.  I teach 'Family Life' for 6th-graders in California and I think that it is a great program for the age level. I attended a 2-day training in order to teach and I felt that even I learned a great deal!   My favorite conversations with students always happen during those classes.  I hope you are able to find a resolution for the issue.

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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

They didn't really teach them about sex. they taught them that if they had sex, they would get pregnant ( because birth control doesn't work). Having a baby would ruin their lives, and then they would die of aids.

So every one should wait for marriage.

That took 4 weeks.

holy cow...If I had only known having sex would give me both AIDS and a baby which would destroy my life but I would die anyway....duh.gif
 

 

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#19 of 221 Old 04-21-2011, 02:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

They didn't really teach them about sex. they taught them that if they had sex, they would get pregnant ( because birth control doesn't work). Having a baby would ruin their lives, and then they would die of aids.

So every one should wait for marriage.

That took 4 weeks.

Jeez. I've had lots of sex... no Aids and only two babies. Am I missing out?
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#20 of 221 Old 04-22-2011, 09:31 AM
 
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ahhh...I was thinking HIGH SCHOOL...Ok that definitely makes sense now and yikes they are teaching sex ed in 6th grade now? It was barely covered in my high school "health" class which was boys and girls and mostly just about anatomy...I actually loved it. I got an A+ in the class (bragging WOO) and basically knew everything they were teaching, so thanks high school health class...

 


 
Our district starts "sex ed" in 4th grade.  It is kind of a misnomer because they start out very, very slow.  The first year is basically covering changes of puberty.  Never (in elementary school) do they cover actual *sex*.  I think they put it off way too late, myself.

 



 

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#21 of 221 Old 04-22-2011, 10:06 AM
 
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Roy Zimmerman has a song called "Abstain with me" which he introduces by comparing "abstinence only" sex ed to "just hold it" potty training. You can find it on YouTube, it's pretty hilarious. 

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#22 of 221 Old 04-22-2011, 04:23 PM
 
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ahhh...I was thinking HIGH SCHOOL...Ok that definitely makes sense now and yikes they are teaching sex ed in 6th grade now? It was barely covered in my high school "health" class which was boys and girls and mostly just about anatomy...


I remember it starting in 5th grade when I was in school, and it would have been pretty horrifying to have it be any later. The earlier the better so as to minimize the number of girls who wake up one morning wondering, "OMIGOD WHY IS MY CROTCH BLEEDING?!?!?!?bigeyes.gif" (Also to minimize how many sanitary napkins get flushed in the school toilets because the kids don't know any better.)

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I remember it starting in 5th grade when I was in school, and it would have been pretty horrifying to have it be any later. The earlier the better so as to minimize the number of girls who wake up one morning wondering, "OMIGOD WHY IS MY CROTCH BLEEDING?!?!?!?bigeyes.gif" (Also to minimize how many sanitary napkins get flushed in the school toilets because the kids don't know any better.)

Honestly I am young, 25, and I just can't remember doing anything sex ed related at all until high school...So weird, I must have had a health class or something..
 

 

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#24 of 221 Old 04-22-2011, 08:11 PM
 
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Honestly I am young, 25, and I just can't remember doing anything sex ed related at all until high school...So weird, I must have had a health class or something..
 

 

I'm 23, and we had our first health class like that in 5th grade. They basically talked about puberty and changes we would go though... oh and we got a goody bag with deodorant, a pad, and a tampon, as well as information. We were pretty mortified by it at that age. haha.

 


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#25 of 221 Old 04-23-2011, 07:21 AM
 
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I am 30 and grew up in California. Sex-ed started for me in 5th grade where they separated boys from girls and pretty much just covered anatomy and puberty changes. Then I don't really remember anything until high school. But I think there might have been something in between that... I just can't remember. I remember the sex ed lady putting a condom on a banana though (in HS) to illustrate how to use a condom. There were a lot of awkward giggles. For us it definitely wasn't abstinence only sex-ed. 

 

I'm curious though, what exactly do they teach in an abstinence only sex-ed class? Do they cover birth control? Different forms of protection from STDs? ...

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#26 of 221 Old 04-23-2011, 08:32 AM
 
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we had an anatomy/puberty class in 5th grade with boys and girls separated and we revisited that info in 6th grade briefly.  We had a slightly more in depth class in 8th grade that included a birth video and then everyone was required to take one semester of health at some point in high school.  They only just touched on std's and if the planned parenthood kids group hadn't visited, we wouldn't have even learned how to properly use a condom (although I already knew.)

 

We absolutely did NOT have enough education.  By senior year, I still knew kids who thought you couldn't get pregnant the first time or if the girl was on top or only used the pull and pray method (without any understanding of ovulation/cycles and such.)  We had quite a few pregnant kids every year, including sophomores.  I don't remember any freshmen ever being pregnant, but it was large school so I didn't know or see everyone so all gossip couldn't reach me either.  The nurse also had free condoms for anyone, as did the school social worker (who was an awesome woman and had much better books on the subject in her office) but people just laughed at that and thought it was weird and rarely USED them.

 

I'd be really bothered if I sent my daughter to school with a bunch of people who only learn christian based sex education.  It would really worry me about the trouble her friends could get into and the trouble her partners might attempt with her, not taking what SHE will know seriously.  I'll have to really really hope she has the confidence and maturity to protect herself and hopefully help her closer friends protect themselves.  I was with a guy once who was an idiot about sex... it was really difficult.

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#27 of 221 Old 04-23-2011, 01:06 PM
 
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I'm curious though, what exactly do they teach in an abstinence only sex-ed class? Do they cover birth control? Different forms of protection from STDs? ...


 

they teach that they are ineffective, that the only way to be sure to not get pregnant or have an STD is to not have sex.

 

So rather than teaching kids to use condemns, how to put them on, etc., they present the kids with statistics showing how ineffective they are. 

 

It drove me batty. It was all I could do to not say, "well, grown ups have sex all the time. Really, you guys wouldn't believe often Daddy and I have sex. And yet most adults end up with 2 or 3 kids, because although BC isn't prefect, when used correctly (as if your life depends on it), it words pretty darn well. Most people, after realizing how much work kids are, get really serious about BC, using 2 or more methods at a time, because the bottom line is -- sex feels really good, so people use BC carefully so they can have sex and not have more children."


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#28 of 221 Old 04-23-2011, 02:05 PM
 
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They did some super cheesy demonstration about how your virginity was like a pearl in the ocean when I was in 8th grade. We were always taught abstenince only education in the public schools I attended in Alabama. We did once have a guy come in and talk to us about date rape and how common rape is and how to report it, ect. He gave us free condoms and the teachers had a cow. They actually attempted to collect them from us!!!! On a side note, the local grocery store in the small town I live in (only grocery) refuses to sell condoms because "you shouldnt need condoms if you are using sex for god's intended purpose, procreation." Im about to start a letter writing campaign to both the grocery store owner and the high school (no sex ed). We have the third highest teen pregnancy in the nation, you think they'd get the hint!


 

 

 


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#29 of 221 Old 04-23-2011, 03:08 PM
 
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Shoot, I'm 28 and we started sex ed in 4th grade, and that was in Alabama! 

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#30 of 221 Old 04-23-2011, 03:30 PM
 
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Well... you decided to send your children to a public school instead of a private school that espouses your beliefs, or to homeschool them.I suggest that since you decided to send your children to the public school that you allow them to hear both sides of the sex education argument- the abstinence-only approach, and whatever approach you have.  This will allow your children a more balanced world view.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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