Current Homeschooler Considering "Regular" School - WWYD? (x-posted) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 04-21-2011, 01:31 PM - Thread Starter
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I have 4 children, the oldest finishing up first grade right now, the second working on K stuff, though he won't officially be registered as in K until the fall.
I WOHM full-time, and DH is a full-time SAHD. He does part of the school during the day, and I do part at night when I get home. For the most part, this works out fine. The children are progressing excellently. I do not feel they are lacking at all in their education - in fact I feel the opposite - I feel it would hold them back a bit in some areas to be in a "regular" (for lack of a better word) school. Although, admittedly, I am sure there are some other areas they would have more of an opportunity to develop at school.
So here is where the "problem" so to speak comes in. DH is not organized or structured. At all. And I worry that the kids aren't learning any structure and will have a difficult time with structure and organization as adults (like DH!). And in fact, DH gets quite frustrated. I worry about his mental / emotional well-being and how that affects the kids.I know it is a hard job (SAHD + HS) and it is a lot to ask of him. If I could do it and have him work, I would in a second. But that simply isn't an option for us.
Just considering schooling alone, I feel that HS is the best for me kids, for many reasons. I LOVE our curriculum, as do they (most days!). They are thriving. It's great. But then there's DH. And when I start considering him, I think that maybe it would be better for *everyone, the family as a whole* to but the kids in school. DH would get a break then. He could have the time the older ones are at school to focus on housework and the younger ones. I think then he would be more refreshed when the olders came home from school, and I think that would help him be a better dad and instill better relationships between everyone.
Sure, it would be ideal if I could un-funk DH and help him develop his own sense of structure that he could use during the day. I have tried so many things to get at this end, and all to no avail. It just ends up with us all feeling frustrated and worn down.
I should add that DH is a great, loving father who cares a great deal about his children. He's just not really cut out to be a SAHM, if you know what I mean. It's tough for him, and it's just the way our cookie has crumbled, and I feel like I need to accept and acknowledge that.
I guess I feel it is time for me to come to terms with the way things *are* and accept that they will be this way. And as a result, I feel there are really two choices - 1) continue as we are and hope for the best OR 2) switch to school and still hope for the best
Have you faced a challenge like this at all? What did you decide? How is it working out for your family? Or have you tried homeschool and decided for whatever reason  you / your family just weren't cut out for it? How did you get to that decisions? TIA!

fly-by-nursing2.gif~Amy, Wife to E, Happy Momma to K 4/04, L 11/05, E 8/07, V 1/10, and J 10/11

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#2 of 2 Old 04-21-2011, 03:20 PM
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You may have more options than that. Have you checked to see if your area has any homeschooling charters? Our area has many. Some just offer free curriculum and enrichment classes but others actually involve class time. Students will have 2 or 3 regular school days a week and then do the remainder of the work at home the other days.


Independant study is an option too and many public schools offer it though not neccessarily advertise it. We know several who do this... most school work is at home but they can have the option of going in for part of the day or for certain subjects.


We considered homeschooling for awhile but my own kids really craved the structure of school, having a life seperate from ours, having other adults to work with, ect. Our public school experience has been excellent. They've had lots of personal attention and individualized education and both are very advanced academically. They've also had experiences and learned skills that I couldn't have given them. For example, my DS is in an immersion school and now totally bi-lingual and well into his 3rd language. Both have had regular leadership opportunities, been part of the ASB, lots of public speaking, ect. There have been negatives too but not enough to make me regret our choices.


All that said, structure isn't everything. Some kids do really well unschooling which is pretty much no structure at all. Experience with structure can be obtained through enrichment activities. Being organized isn't just a skill... there is a certain amount of DNA involved in that. My DD was born with her ducks in a row but my DS, wow, no matter how much structure/expereince/education he gets, organization is a real struggle. We continue to work on it but he's never going to be DD in this area. He's a smart boy though and I have no doubt will be successful in life and then marry and/or hire someone to be organized for him lol. However, it sounds like the bigger problem is that your DH isn't happy with the situation and certainly, I'd make a change if that were the case.

Married mom, DD 18, DS 15, and a Valentine's surprise on the way!
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