"Kick Butt" shirts - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 28 Old 04-25-2011, 09:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Am I old-fashioned, or would anyone else here consider those Nike shirts that say things like "We came, we saw, we kicked butt" to be inappropriate to wear to school?  (yes, I saw one on a child on my son's school playground and it's not the first time this year)

 

Just seems to me that part of school should be teaching that there's a time and a place for everything, including certain T-shirts...(remembering the "Beavis and "his friend" controversy from my high school LOL)


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#2 of 28 Old 04-25-2011, 09:52 AM
 
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Thosse are against dress code in out schools. Kids are sent to the office and have to wear old P.E. shirts the rest of the day.


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#3 of 28 Old 04-26-2011, 08:00 PM
 
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I don't see a big deal with the shirt, it is questionable maybe but nothing that would worry me.  I am not old fashioned though and I take a very hands off approach to clothing standards. 

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#4 of 28 Old 04-26-2011, 08:05 PM
 
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They wouldn't bother me at all, but they would be against our district's dress code - which doesn't allow text or large graphics. 

 

I hate any kind of strict rules regarding what anyone wears, but I'm just glad we have moved on from the uniforms that were required in our schools not too long ago.

 

 


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#5 of 28 Old 04-26-2011, 08:29 PM
 
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What part of it is bothering you? The word "butt" ? Or are you seeing it as a reference to violence? I guess I'm just confused - it wouldn't bother me. In that context, I would see "kicking butt" in a positive way - as in, doing a good job at something (meaning, I see a difference between "I'm going to kick your butt" and "I kicked butt on that test"). And the word butt doesn't bother me in the least, being a shortened form of buttocks.
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#6 of 28 Old 04-26-2011, 08:50 PM
 
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Thosse are against dress code in out schools. Kids are sent to the office and have to wear old P.E. shirts the rest of the day.


Ours too! The kicking butt implies violence and we don't allow that here.
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#7 of 28 Old 04-26-2011, 09:07 PM
 
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I'm gonna go with the "don't see a problem" group. I don't see anything violent about it either. "Kicking butt" doesn't include any actual butt kicking, it just means you did an awesome job of something and came out on top.


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#8 of 28 Old 04-26-2011, 09:32 PM
 
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Yeah kicking butt doesn't literally mean kicking a persons buttocks. Anymore.

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#9 of 28 Old 04-26-2011, 10:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I get that.  Here's what I'm objecting to

 

#1  I'm pretty sure this is a phrase they would not allow a child to say on the playground.

 

#2  It's the principle.  I know this is elementary school, but many workplaces would not allow this shirt.  I have not actually looked at the district's website for policy, but I *know* this shirt would've violated dress code at my high school for the word 'butt' and that was the reason why---it's preparation for the "real" world.

 

#3 yeah some people don't like to hear about butts all the time lol....I probably noticed the shirt in the first place honestly because I'm so sick of that word at my house--also "fart"  and "buttcrack"  gotta love 6 year old bathroom humor and the 4 and 2 year old just love it too....

 

the old-fashioned part of me?  well I was raised by older parents and my mom now lives with us....they didn't like the word 'butt' and my mom *hates* the kids' potty humor....*I* probably get on them about it BECAUSE she's here objecting to it, otherwise I might dismiss it as normal and ignore it.


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#10 of 28 Old 04-26-2011, 11:33 PM
 
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#2  It's the principle.  I know this is elementary school, but many workplaces would not allow this shirt. 

 


The problem I see with this reasoning is that most work places won't allow jeans and/or t-shirts either, and there are plenty that won't allow anything less than a button down shirt, tie and slacks.

 


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#11 of 28 Old 04-26-2011, 11:50 PM
 
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That is why I prefer uniforms.

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#12 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 05:56 AM
 
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It doesn't bother me at all.

 

There are only a few things I think should be restricted in the "what to wear" department and this does not even come close to be worrisome in my eyes.

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#13 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 10:31 AM
 
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Whether it bothers you or not, lines have to be drawn and "butt" is as good a line as any considering the whole "what context is it in" thing. Just make it easy and leave anything with higher  offending potentiol for afterschool and the weekend. Schools have enough to deal with, fielding complaints that kids are wearing "butt" shirts or fielding complaints that their child isn't allowed to wear "butt" shirts is just a waste. There are tons of clothes for teens to choose from. I don't think it's a big deal to ask them not to wear it at school.... get them prepped for the real world where you don't always get to wear whatever you want to the office.


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#14 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 11:22 AM
 
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Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post
get them prepped for the real world where you don't always get to wear whatever you want to the office.


You also don't get forced to take a job if you aren't comfortable with the dress code, unlike school where the child has no choice in which school they want to attend.

 

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#15 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 11:39 AM
 
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... get them prepped for the real world where you don't always get to wear whatever you want to the office.



Where does this kind of thinking come from? I wore whatever I wanted in high school, including studded gauntlets, a denim vest with a horned skull on the back (resting on a bed of pot leaves, and with flames shooting up all around it), a see-through shirt and Elvira: Mistress of the Night style makeup. And, then I got a job in an office, and wore black pumps, black dress pants, and an assortment of tidy, neat blouses and/or sweaters (depending on the time of year). DS1 wears whatever he wants to school, including feather boas and bandanas...and then he quite happily changes into his uniform to go to work. School and work aren't the same thing, in many ways, so the "get them prepped for the real world" thing makes very little sense to me. In almost 43 years of life, I've never run into anything that resembles real life as little as school does.


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#16 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 12:08 PM
 
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My ds violated the dress code by wearing red shoelaces in his sneakers - the ones that they came with. Yeah. The shirt doesn't bother me at all.
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#17 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 12:23 PM
 
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Did you wear shirts with the word "butt" on them to work lol. I think all this is just silly. Everyone is SO freaked out about feeling controlled on any front. You'd think that WE were the teenagers lol. So what if you have some guidelines on what to wear at work or school? I was a stage manager and theatre tech. I had to wear black every freaking day and clothing that I could climb around on a grid 20 feet in the air with. When I gave that up to have kids and went into teaching, I wore comfortable but put-together outfits that didn't offend anyone. My "real world" has never been suits and ties but my "real world" has always required me to make concessions for dressing appropriately for my surroundings. I'm amazed that so many would be outraged to put ANY limitations on what a kid wears to school. Maybe this is why we are faced with such an entitlement society where everyone thinks they should have what they want without having to GIVE on any point what-so-ever.

 

I guess it's going to come down to how you view school. In our family, school is work. School is our children's job and we expect them to behave and work appropriately while there. If they can have fun in school while accomplishing those objectives GREAT! However, first and formost, it is their job. Our local schools have very reasonable dress codes in my opinion. The only kids who seem to have issues with it are kids who are purposely trying to make others uncomfortable in the first place. They wouldn't have any issue with your daughter in a feather boa as long as she wasn't wearing a picture of a whiskey bottle along with it.

 

Goodness, a little common sense is all it takes. I am not personally offended by the word "butt." I'm just not sending my kid to elementary school wearing it knowing how juvenile children reacte to any word they see as "naughty." Too much of a distraction when my kids have like, 30 other shirts to choose from in their closet as it is!

 

 

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Where does this kind of thinking come from? I wore whatever I wanted in high school, including studded gauntlets, a denim vest with a horned skull on the back (resting on a bed of pot leaves, and with flames shooting up all around it), a see-through shirt and Elvira: Mistress of the Night style makeup. And, then I got a job in an office, and wore black pumps, black dress pants, and an assortment of tidy, neat blouses and/or sweaters (depending on the time of year). DS1 wears whatever he wants to school, including feather boas and bandanas...and then he quite happily changes into his uniform to go to work. School and work aren't the same thing, in many ways, so the "get them prepped for the real world" thing makes very little sense to me. In almost 43 years of life, I've never run into anything that resembles real life as little as school does.



 


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#18 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 12:27 PM
 
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Whether it bothers you or not, lines have to be drawn and "butt" is as good a line as any considering the whole "what context is it in" thing. Just make it easy and leave anything with higher  offending potentiol for afterschool and the weekend. Schools have enough to deal with, fielding complaints that kids are wearing "butt" shirts or fielding complaints that their child isn't allowed to wear "butt" shirts is just a waste. There are tons of clothes for teens to choose from. I don't think it's a big deal to ask them not to wear it at school.... get them prepped for the real world where you don't always get to wear whatever you want to the office.


I think it is nice for kids of all ages to have self expression - as long as it is not offensive to most moderate people.  "Kick butt" is not offensive.

 

I like to flip this point around - kids have enough rules to deal with particularly at school (many of them necessary but some arbitrary) without micromanaging what they wear.

 

I do not think the school/office comparison holds up.  Where to work is optional for many people (indeed I know people IRL who won't work in certain places due to having to wear a suit or uniform).  School is not optional for many youth.  If school is optional, or if there is an option of a school with less stringent dress rules, then maybe, maybe, it is OK to say "this is the expectation here."  (although I still do not think it is the best idea)

 

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#19 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 12:30 PM
 
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The one in the OP doesn't bother me, but the one that says "The Man" with an arrow pointing up and "The Legend" with an arrow pointing down really strikes me as inappropriate for school, and yet a kid at our school wears it.

 

And ds1's dad wears a shirt (Nike, I think) that says "Skilled at multiple positions" and I truly don't like that one.  Ok, I lied, I think it's super funny, I just don't think it's as funny when it's on the chest of a bald 36yo guy walking with his teenaged son.


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#20 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 12:33 PM
 
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I'm gonna go with the "don't see a problem" group. I don't see anything violent about it either. "Kicking butt" doesn't include any actual butt kicking, it just means you did an awesome job of something and came out on top.

I really have to agree with MD here.  When my boys, 10 & 11 years now, were very young, I would have been "offended" by this shirt.  Now that they're in 4th and 5th grade, it wouldn't really be on my radar.  I doubt I'd run out and buy them one but I'd probably not buy them a Nike shirt unless they asked, which would be unusual.  They certainly know lots of words they don't repeat.  They also wouldn't probably say they "kicked butt" at the dinner table but if they said it to their friends, I don't see the big deal.

 

I would love to have school uniforms just for simplicities sake but I really don't buy the whole "how will they learn" stuff.  They will learn, we all did.
 

 


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#21 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 03:34 PM
 
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It's not offensive "too you." That doesn't make in non-offensive. I can't believe I actually have to say that. I can't believe anyone would not understand "at all" why "kick-butt" could be offensive to someone on an elementary school campus. I can't understand why anyone who has every been in a 3rd grade classroom couldn't see the distraction a kid with such a shirt can make. The word "Butt" doesn't offend me personally but sorry, I like to consider the feelings of others. I like to show a little class in public and teach my kids the same.

 

How is school stringent on dress codes? They are SO basic. Don't wear flip-flops because duh, you have recess during the day and in elementary school, you don't dress-out. Don't show underwear... oh dear, those poor kids have to wear a *GASP* belt or god forbid, a tank top with a little thicker strap. Oh man, you mean I can't wear that one t-shirt I have with a marijuana plant on it? But I only have 15 other shirts to choose from!  Wow, we are just putting SO much pressure on our kids to show a little manners.

 

This is so ridiculous. Go ahead. Fight for the right for your kid to wear a shirt with the word "butt" on it. I'm going to put my energy towards something more important lol.

 

 

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I think it is nice for kids of all ages to have self expression - as long as it is not offensive to most moderate people.  "Kick butt" is not offensive.

 

I like to flip this point around - kids have enough rules to deal with particularly at school (many of them necessary but some arbitrary) without micromanaging what they wear.

 

I do not think the school/office comparison holds up.  Where to work is optional for many people (indeed I know people IRL who won't work in certain places due to having to wear a suit or uniform).  School is not optional for many youth.  If school is optional, or if there is an option of a school with less stringent dress rules, then maybe, maybe, it is OK to say "this is the expectation here."  (although I still do not think it is the best idea)

 



 


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#22 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 07:27 PM
 
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It's not offensive "too you." That doesn't make in non-offensive. I can't believe I actually have to say that. I can't believe anyone would not understand "at all" why "kick-butt" could be offensive to someone on an elementary school campus. I can't understand why anyone who has every been in a 3rd grade classroom couldn't see the distraction a kid with such a shirt can make. The word "Butt" doesn't offend me personally but sorry, I like to consider the feelings of others. I like to show a little class in public and teach my kids the same.

 

Obviously I was speaking of myself when I said it was not offensive.  I thought that was self evident.  

 

What is offensive is subjective.  I expect moderate heads to prevail.  By moderate - I do not think simply because a  small percentage of society is uncomfortable with the saying "kick butt" that it should be disallowed. I am offended by being asked not to wear what I see as a fairly innocent shirt - why is my concern about hyper-conservatism and micro-managing less important than someone concern over a shirt?

 

I do not actually care that another 3rd grader might find the t-shirt a distraction.  I work in a public library with kids (including school kids) and I can tell you they would not find such a shirt a distraction beyond 30 seconds.  Moreover, and across the board with few exceptions, people have the right to wear what they want without worrying how others will perceive it.  Their perception is their problem.  

 

 

This is so ridiculous. Go ahead. Fight for the right for your kid to wear a shirt with the word "butt" on it. I'm going to put my energy towards something more important lol.

 

Ridiculous to you.  I actually do take the right to wear what the heck I want in public pretty seriously.  I only have one child in school, I do not think this will be an issue she will need or care to pursue - but if she does I will support her 100%.  As long as clothes are not hurting someone (hate shirts and the like) I think people should be able to wear what they want.



 


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#23 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 08:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well....I see the point.  This *is* my 1st child.  ;)  And I seriously think I noticed it simply because I am sick of hearing assorted bathroom words at the dinner table.  (My idea to combat it?  Well, DS1 is loving the whole idea of money and what it can buy right now....while I won't pay allowance for contributions they should be making as members of the family...or so I've always *said* till I actually had children old enough to get one.....I am at a loss on how else to stop this.  Allowance.  With inappropriate language fines.  (but I'll keep in mind that I had an affinity for a much worse word than "butt" at one point in time, just because my dad said a girl shouldn't say that...and I knew full well that word didn't belong at Grandma's  ;) )


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#24 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 08:34 PM
 
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When did the word "butt" become a foul word - considering some of the things that I have heard out of the mouths of elementary school kids butt would not even phase me. I think that most schools have bigger issues to worry about.
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#25 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 09:15 PM
 
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When did the word "butt" become a foul word - considering some of the things that I have heard out of the mouths of elementary school kids butt would not even phase me. I think that most schools have bigger issues to worry about.


ITA.  I learned to swear in elementary school.  Two duty teachers can not monitor the language of 75+ kids outside at recess, it is hard enough to monitor the violence they are supposed to be preventing and a lot of that slips through.  I would far rather have school professionals paying attention to important things.  There are many distractions in the classroom that are laughed about and moved on from during the course of the day.  I actually think it is a great shirt for a principal, especially while interacting with kids on the playground, because it takes her/him off of the high and mighty scary person spot and makes her/him a real person kids see as approachable.  If it was a daily thing I might worry depending on how I view the school in terms of academics and atmosphere.

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#26 of 28 Old 04-27-2011, 10:07 PM
 
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It's not offensive "too you." That doesn't make in non-offensive. I can't believe I actually have to say that. I can't believe anyone would not understand "at all" why "kick-butt" could be offensive to someone on an elementary school campus. I can't understand why anyone who has every been in a 3rd grade classroom couldn't see the distraction a kid with such a shirt can make. The word "Butt" doesn't offend me personally but sorry, I like to consider the feelings of others. I like to show a little class in public and teach my kids the same.

 

How is school stringent on dress codes? They are SO basic. Don't wear flip-flops because duh, you have recess during the day and in elementary school, you don't dress-out. Don't show underwear... oh dear, those poor kids have to wear a *GASP* belt or god forbid, a tank top with a little thicker strap. Oh man, you mean I can't wear that one t-shirt I have with a marijuana plant on it? But I only have 15 other shirts to choose from!  Wow, we are just putting SO much pressure on our kids to show a little manners.

 

This is so ridiculous. Go ahead. Fight for the right for your kid to wear a shirt with the word "butt" on it. I'm going to put my energy towards something more important lol.

 

 



 


Why the warpath? You say manners but you mean conformity. Why should people have to conform?

It is only going to be a distraction if someone makes it one by labeling it as inappropriate.

Look, here is the thing you need to understand about kids. As soon as you make a Big Deal out of something small like a harmless shirt that says "butt" kids will do everything they can to subvert your rule..and on top of that they won't believe you when you make a Big Deal out of something that actually matters. To many Big Deals (ie. pointless rules) and you have lost any chance you might have at them taking your authority seriously.

That is why dress codes suck. They are ultimately counter productive because you are always going to have kids that think the logic behind them is flawed, unnecessarily punitive and pointless. Once they make that determination the rest of the rules are as good as fair game, and its one big ideological fight from there on in. Most schools with dress codes resort to authoritarianism to get kids to do "what they are told" so then your kid is not only learning that rules are pointless but that their opinion about them doesn't matter...oh and that they have to OBEY just because they are kids. Is that what you want them to learn?

Respect for others is a worthy goal..like caring for the feelings of others. Ok. But what I don't like is when the "feelings of others" actually means the feelings of the small vocal minority of adults who give a damn about a word like "butt". So what you are really saying here is that you don't care about the feelings of the kid who likes the shirt or the parents who let hu wear it. Their feelings are somehow lesser than those of folks who might get offended by the word butt? Why?

I too am going to put my energy towards something more important than fighting kids about their clothing choices. As a teacher I am going to respect them as individuals capable of making choices about the most basic and individual of things (what fabric they choose to put on their body) and then I am going to teach them how to think critically about society.
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#27 of 28 Old 04-28-2011, 06:43 AM
 
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Originally Posted by peaceful_mama View Post

Well....I see the point.  This *is* my 1st child.  ;)  And I seriously think I noticed it simply because I am sick of hearing assorted bathroom words at the dinner table.  (My idea to combat it?  Well, DS1 is loving the whole idea of money and what it can buy right now....while I won't pay allowance for contributions they should be making as members of the family...or so I've always *said* till I actually had children old enough to get one.....I am at a loss on how else to stop this.  Allowance.  With inappropriate language fines.  (but I'll keep in mind that I had an affinity for a much worse word than "butt" at one point in time, just because my dad said a girl shouldn't say that...and I knew full well that word didn't belong at Grandma's  ;) )


Speaking as a mother of an older child - I can tell you it will end on its own.  I can almost promise.  Some people do keep up with potty humour and words into their teens and beyond - but it is not that common.

 

That being said, I do think you have the right to ask that kids refrain from potty talk around you.  My oldest likes to watch South Park and the like (shudder - he is 15, btw, before someone comments) and I do ask him not to watch it while I am in the same room as him.  Put on the headphones and listen on the computer!  I find the words grating and often offensive.  It is Ok to put up boundaries and say "you can say it if you want, but I do not want to hear it".  As for how to stop it - anyway that works and fits the not too serious crime.  Yes, bribe him, lol.  Mini time -outs etc.   

 

I wonder if you are taking what is a home concern, though, and trying to extend it to the school?  I do understand the allure of a school that can support what you want at home - but given that numerous parents have different beliefs on where to draw the line on clothes, they probably are not going to be able to accommodate your anti kick-butt idea.  

 

If you think about all viewpoints and decide that this really is more than a home issue - it is a school issue and you want the shirts banned, you can ask the school to clarify the dress code.  It might give you a starting point if you decide to pursue things.

 

 

 

 

 

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#28 of 28 Old 04-28-2011, 06:51 AM
 
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I see nothing wrong with it.  Of course my son also has a shirt that says "he did it" with a finger pointing one way. 

 

IMO the shirt is saying I'm good at xxxx sport.   It's not saying I'm going to kick your butt.

 

I also don't see anything wrong with the phrase either.   Unless of course it's being directed at me or his siblings. 


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