go to classroom with 1st grader on first day of new school? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 08-21-2011, 11:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Moved across the state, two boys starting new school. I think the 3rd grader will be fine, but wondering if I should drive them to school instead of have them ride the bus and go into the classroom with the 1st grader on the first day? We will have met his teacher and dropped off school supplies the day prior, but I still am wondering if me being there would be helpful or not?

 

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#2 of 11 Old 08-22-2011, 06:08 AM
 
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It depends on their personality. Both of mine aren't concerned about having us there. I didn't even go with dh to take our younger dd to K since once she has other children to sit with she is fine (our school doesn't have buses, we just drop them in the gym).


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#3 of 11 Old 08-22-2011, 07:49 AM
 
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My DH always drives the kids in on the first day and walks them to class (doesn't go in.) Now that they are in middle and highschool, he doesn't walk them to class but he always takes them. It's a tradition that has become important to all. If I were you, I 'd walk your 1st grader to class and just give them a cheery send-off.


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#4 of 11 Old 08-22-2011, 08:09 AM
 
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I went with my 7th grader last year & most likely will with my 8th grader this year.  I also go in with the younger 2(grades 4 & 5 this year) too.  We don't drop school supplies off before the first day so that is the "excuse" for my older dd.    Of course if she'd use a proper backpack that would carry everything it wouldn't be necessary either. lol

 

At my younger kids school most kids are bussed in from the country.  That place is FULL of parents on the first day of school. Many parents do drive their kids in anyhow, but those who regularly take the bus in the morning are driven in, or the kids take the bus & the parent meets them at the school.

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#5 of 11 Old 08-22-2011, 02:06 PM
 
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Sure, I would. If you don't go, you will probably sit around all day worrying that he got lost on his way to his room and picture him crying in the hallway. At least, that is what I would be doing! Heck, I was doing that today worrying if my 6th grader got to his math class at the jr high. (He did.)

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#6 of 11 Old 08-22-2011, 02:37 PM
 
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Is he anxious about starting 1st grade at a new school? I'm a teacher, and I gotta say that 95% of kids who are anxious are okay after saying goodbye to their parent at the door. They stop crying and cope just fine. If he's only anxious about the bus, then drive them to school, but drop them off at their classroom, or line-up, or wherever. When you meet the teacher the day before, ask her/him to review the routines and procedures and then re-inforce them the evening before (e.g. If I need to go to the bathroom, I...) with your DS. Also ask about first day procedures, so DS knows where to go. 

 

I suppose I'm biased, because I'd rather start the routine off without parents in the classroom, but a caring teacher will make sure that little ones feel secure at school, by being very clear about routines and expectations and timelines. Anxious parents can unintentionally interfere with the child's need to learn routines and start to form peer relationships on their own.

 

Talk to the teacher the day before and see how DS feels. Chances are he'll be just fine!

 

 

 

 


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#7 of 11 Old 08-22-2011, 10:56 PM
 
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What a lot of parents in my neighborhood do is let their kids take the bus and then meet them there with their supplies. The supplies are the excuse to make sure the kids get to the right spot. Personally, I've never done that. Ds was adamant in 1st grade that he didn't want me to drive him (he had a thing for buses at that age), and it didn't occur to me to drive up to meet him once he got on the bus. (I only heard later that other parents did that.) Last year ds was with dd and so he could make sure she got to the right spot. There are also a ton of teachers and staff helping kids. They haven't lost one yet!

 

If you're worried, or your son is worried, I think this makes a nice compromise. He gets to ride the bus like a big kid, but you can check on the other end to make sure he's OK. My kids love riding the bus on the first day and would hate it if I drove them.


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#8 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 07:39 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missme View Post

Is he anxious about starting 1st grade at a new school? I'm a teacher, and I gotta say that 95% of kids who are anxious are okay after saying goodbye to their parent at the door. They stop crying and cope just fine. If he's only anxious about the bus, then drive them to school, but drop them off at their classroom, or line-up, or wherever. When you meet the teacher the day before, ask her/him to review the routines and procedures and then re-inforce them the evening before (e.g. If I need to go to the bathroom, I...) with your DS. Also ask about first day procedures, so DS knows where to go. 

 

I suppose I'm biased, because I'd rather start the routine off without parents in the classroom, but a caring teacher will make sure that little ones feel secure at school, by being very clear about routines and expectations and timelines. Anxious parents can unintentionally interfere with the child's need to learn routines and start to form peer relationships on their own.

 

Talk to the teacher the day before and see how DS feels. Chances are he'll be just fine!

 

 

 

 


When the parents at the schools here go with their kids on day 1, they don't stick around after the warning bell has rung - if they're still there at all.    Many have to go to work, a few get to together & go for coffee.  Only in Kindergarten do a few parents stick around for a few minutes.

 

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#9 of 11 Old 08-23-2011, 08:27 AM
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Here, they ask that kids who are going to ride the bus ride it on the first day of school so the bus drivers know who is going to be on their buses. My third grader rides the bus, and rode on the first day, but I volunteered to help at his school getting kids off the buses and into their classrooms (it is a giant, complicated busing system that often has problems). After all the kids were accounted for, there was coffee in the library. My 1st grader goes to a school without buses and we walked him into his classroom. Most parents did on his floor (K-2). 

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#10 of 11 Old 08-24-2011, 11:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Mamas, for all your replies and especially, missme, as I knew a mama on this thread was bound to be a teacher. I so appreciate that perspective. I think I will drive him them to school and then hug goodbye at the door for the 1st grader....he had some issues in Kinder, not wanting me to leave, but his teacher said he always did great after I left. So, we will discuss process many times before hand as well...Thanks so much all!! <3

 

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#11 of 11 Old 08-28-2011, 06:19 AM
 
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If I were in your shoes I'd just sort of play it by ear and check out what seems to be the norm for your school. We just switched schools this year. My girls started last Thursday and the place was full of parents walking their kids to their classrooms. I think some kids could feel left out if everyone else's mom and dad was there. I didn't hang out in the class, but definitely walked them both to the right door. My 5th grader said goodbye right outside the door where I couldn't be seen, and my second grader said goodbye right at the door. I walked the second grader again on Friday and the teacher initiated a conversation with me about how Thurs had gone and told me how lunch was w/o my asking. This coming week the school will be getting into their regular routine of a school-wide morning assembly in the auditorium and then the teachers will lead them to their classes. I will probably walk them into the auditorium and make sure they can find where their class is sitting. 


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