Moving to a new school at 9. Advice? Experience? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 01-28-2012, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
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We're considering a move this summer. Dd will be 9 & a rising 4th grader. She is socially cautious and can be shy at times. Has your child switched schools at this age? Was the transition difficult? Any advice? Thanks! This is my biggest concern regarding the move.
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#2 of 7 Old 01-28-2012, 06:32 PM
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My son switched schools when he was in third grade, but we didn't move. He too, is a cautious introverted kid. We had a bit of a rocky start because he was moving to a much smaller school and most of the students had been together since K but it eventually worked itself out. He had an amazing teacher which helped a lot. He's s now in 7th grade. We will be moving cross country at the end of this school year and I am much more concerned.
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#3 of 7 Old 01-28-2012, 06:51 PM
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My DD just switched mid year and the transition was wonderful. I spoke with the principal about the school and the style of teacher and classroom my DD tends to do best with and she made a great match. Coming in midyear my DD got to be the new kid with lots of attention and that smoothed the way for friendships. My DD does tend to be outgoing but this is the first time she hasn't struggled with a big transition by testing her limits at school and home. If you know the school your DD will go to I suggest talking to the principal to see if you can also make the new teacher part of the transition smooth so the rest falls into place a little easier.
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#4 of 7 Old 01-28-2012, 07:54 PM
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One of my DDs started school for the first time at age 10 (having been homeschooled before) and it was a bit of a transition, but she did great with it after a couple of months. The teacher paired her with a "buddy" to show her around and kinda teach her how school works.


I think if you show confidence in your DD that she is a strong person and can do this, it will go better for her. Sometimes as parents we tend to think that if our children go through something difficult for them it will harm them. But a challenge that a child can met successful and overcome helps them build their strength and self confidence.


My advice would be to encourage her to get involved in an activity like girl scouts *or whatever would be fun for her* and really listen when she talks about her feelings. But have faith in her that she can make new friends.


Because she can.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#5 of 7 Old 02-02-2012, 05:14 AM
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My two changed schools due to a move at 8 & 10. It helped that we moved into a neighborhood where there were kids their ages at the start of summer. They had 2 1/2-3 mos to make some friends, so walking into a new school wasn't so daunting. Both also had really good teachers who made sure to foster interaction between everyone in class, so they got to meet a fair number of kids in short order.


I also signed them both up for Cub Scouts & Brownies. Regardless what you may think of them, it was a great opportunity for them to meet another subset of kids, who they could do stuff with.

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#6 of 7 Old 02-02-2012, 11:13 AM
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We've used the same tactics as pp - buddies from the class etc. The suggestions for activities outside of school, to provide another group of friends, are very good too. 


It's nice if you can find a kid or 2 in the neighbourhood before school starts, so there are a couple of familiar faces. If you don't seem to be meeting anyone, try the neighbourhood library or community centre. There are often summer programs running on a drop-in basis.  

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#7 of 7 Old 02-07-2012, 06:31 PM
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We switched schools with one child in grade 3, one in grade 2 and one in primary.  Our oldest had lots of issues around socializing, but actually he ended up doing better after the move.  It gave him a clean slate with teachers and friends.  The family periodically visited the house and the community on weekends for a couple of months before moving (I realize this is a luxury not everyone can have) and we had a week solid to settle in before going to class.  We made sure all three (but especially the one who had a harder time with making friends) had some extra curricular activities set up and we just really encouraged everyone that they could make things work out.

Busy keeping up with three children and an awful lot of chickens!

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