Brilliant way of dealing with it, LiLStar!
Mountain mama to one great kid and three great grown-ups
I think your plan sounds very workable.
I'm not concerned about losing "points".
I'm not sure what the difference is between "not being THAT mom" and "losing points." Seems like two ways of saying the same thing.
Some of the moms who've responded on your thread have GREAT relationships with their children's teachers and with the staff at their children's schools. Some don't. Having a solid relationship with the teachers and staff is in your child's best interests. I'm not advocating being less than authentic, and I think your plan is fine. But to not care about the kind of relationships you are building with people you plan to have in your life for years, who have authority in your child's life, is short sighted. (I say "years" because teachers talk about parents in the break room).
I will be up front with the teacher, tell her why. I'm thinking bring an example of the baggies/wipe sets to the "meet the teacher open house" and be like, "look what I made for dd, aren't they cute? Hey, is it alright if instead of using a baby wipe to clean her hands before snack, she can just use these? I'd really rather her not use any "product" on her hands that she can't rinse off immediately prior to eating, since some of it will inevitably be transferred to her food! I'll make sure its no extra work for you"
Email is a great way to communicate with teachers. Depending on when the open house is (ours is about a month into the school year) and how many other parents want to talk to the teacher, just dropping her an email at the beginning of the year might let her know what's up in a more expedient fashion. I wouldn't recommend turning "meet the teacher night" into "see what cool thing I made night." That night isn't about you.
I would try to phrase the email in such a way that you don't come across as thinking your way is The One Right Way, just an alternative that you prefer. No one makes friends by being "crunchier than thou."
I will teach her to use her wash cloth afterwards before eating if that happens.
yeah, but softly. Some kids are rigid thinkers -- if mom was sick and dad packed the snack and forgot the washcloth, they could feel that they weren't supposed to eat snack that day.
I don't think that will make her stand out as too "different" or "weird kid" at all.
That's great, and you may be right. But as she grows up, my advice is to let it be HER call what works for her and what doesn't. Anything else has the potential to drive a wedge in your relationship with her.
BTW, I have kids in high school and have really wonderful working relationship with the teachers and staff at my kids' school. I also have very solid relationship with my teens. They often chose to do things that are my preference, but sometimes they don't. And that's OK.
but everything has pros and cons
What I meant by not being concerned with "losing points" was "Here is my plan, and I don't expect it to annoy the teacher, thus that isn't a concern (at this time)"
dd (9) ds (7), ds (4) & ds (1)
I have dealt with a similar issue at the Kindergarten I volunteered at, although instead of baby wipes it's hand sanitizer. They squeeze it into each child's hands while they're already sitting at the table so most children begin eating with their hands still wet. It really squicks me out. In earlier years we had the children stand in a line in front of the sink and one child would go down the line and squeeze soap into everyone's hands (that way there was no issue with kids taking too long or wasting soap while they were washing), and one by one they would wash/rinse under the water and then dry their hands. Once it was an established routine, it took less than 5 minutes for the whole class and all the teacher had to do was stand by so it was easy to supervise the kids at the sink and those at the tables at the same time.
I like the idea of sending your child with her own reusable wipes in her snack bag. Sensitive skin can always be an excuse. I know I break out in a rash if I touch a baby wipe. I also love your attitude about it all! Like you said, worst case scenario, your daughter uses her own wipe after the baby wipe. Most kids will just think it's a napkin.
Nikki , partner to Jeremy . Baby Joshua Nolan is finally here after a many year struggle with infertility. I blog at
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My daughter gets eczema on her hands in the cool months from all of the hand washing and sanitizer and I'm thinking baby wipes will have the same affect on her. At preschool, they were giving her lotion to apply frequently....I hope that Kindergarten is as flexible. I agree it's pretty gross to use a baby wipe and then eat. Not as gross as sanitizer, though.
I guess these are some of the things that I'm going to have to take a step back on and relinquish some control? Damn. It's going to be hard.
Banana, doula wife to Papa Banana and mother to Banana One, Banana Two, Banana Three, Banana Four...
One wrinkle I see in that otherwise very workable plan is that (if your K is like DS's, that is), the kids may not have a chance to put snack bags away after snack before recess. Our teachers really want the kids to bring something disposable for snack so they don't spend precious recess time supervising and shepherding 20+ kids back to the classroom to put away snack bags (at the different rates they finish snack) while they are also trying to watch the kids still eating and the kids out playing. 5 minutes is maybe not a lot of time, but it is a huge amount of the 15 minutes allotted. (Not to say that the parents were lining up in droves to send in snacks in reusable packaging, because they weren't, but the rule was also a response to the massive time and energy demands on the single teacher, no aide). It might be easier to have her just wash her hands.
We homeschool now (which I mention just as evidence that I'm maybe not the best person to give advice on how to make ps work), but I know my experience was that it was useful to triage which issues were important enough to work through. This wasn't because things didn't matter to *me*, but because the school and teachers, while enormously dedicated, had finite stamina.
Snack is eaten inside the classroom at their desks! I think it might be after recess, but I'm not sure. The teacher does not supervise outside the classroom, there are separate recess supervisors for that.
dd (9) ds (7), ds (4) & ds (1)
In my experience, using unscented wipes to wash hands actually works pretty good . I use them when I am at art fairs as vendor. We usually do not have access to sinks and soap. I would not go to a fair with out them. I have not been ill from the experience so far and have been doing this for 7 years. On the other hand, I would expect that they are teaching life skills, even as young as kindergarten, and that washing hands would be one. Better to get in the habit younger than older.
I am curious about the hand sanitizers at public places. I have read purell is ineffective (but it is good for cleaning tarnish off silver-fyi), but what about the ones at the hospitals? My ds was just in for appendix and the nurses used them all the time. Are they a better formula than in the past?
I have switched my church nursery over to unscented wipes from the Purell stuff... it seems like an improvement to me. The kids always end up "washing the table" after they wipe their hands...
I like your little wipe and snack packet idea... :) Good job! :)
I know this is an old post. But at my school the teacher used spray bottles. The kids would line up outside and hold their arms out and palms up. The teacher would spray heir hands with soapy water, the kids would rub-a-dub-dub, and the aide would follow up with a water spray, then excuse the kid to get a paper towel.
I don't know about your area but ours NEVER entertained non-life threatening allergies and not because of other kids with whatever claims.... because it's too expensive for the schools. My kids are vegetarian and there are school lunch options maybe twice a month. Even if we qualified for free lunch, we would not have been catered too. Your niece isn't being denied because of other kids... she's being denied because there are large quantities of children these days with peanut allergies and many with life threatening cases. What she's asking for is just TOO specific an issue that affects a very small minority. In school, the majority is always considered over the minority.
Schools really don't care about exceptions as long as it doesn't make their life harder. If you don't want your child to participate... fine, but provide your own option for them. They get upset when they have to pour out money to feed around 15 different special requests. My kids are sensitive to chemicals. It's not life threatening but it gives them rashes. I always just provided their own stuff and it was never a big deal at all. Lots of young kids do have issues with chemical laden hand sanitation.
Our area does. With a doctor's note, you can get a lunch that meets your child's specific allergen needs. In fact, for my son who has Crohn's, we could ask for a special lunch for him. Of course, we also have a vegetarian option every day, so maybe we're more progressive on this issue...
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