New here, looking for help with ideas for chronically ill child - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 46 Old 06-16-2012, 07:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
kmamka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hello,

 

My name is Lisa and I am from North Carolina.  I have a daughter who is 15 and a freshman in high school at public school here in  NC.

 

She has lupus, which is an autoimmune disease which is chronic and incurable.  She usually misses about 30 school days a year due to either illness or doctor appointments/specialists etc. 

 

It was easier to manage when she was younger, but as she has gotten older school has gotten more difficult (in terms of content to be learned, amount of content, as well as how hard it is to "keep up and catch up" when she is out sick).  Also her illness has progressed, especially this year.  (Lupus is "triggered" by stress, which for her has steadily increased with school. I have been holding off lupus drugs for a long time, and this year, we had to finally give in and put her on her very first immunosuppressant.)

 

She has gotten increasingly stressed out due to school over the past maybe 3 years.  Middle school  started our major problems. The schools dont use textbooks for curriculum any more, so I find it increasingly difficult to re-teach her missed material. She is on an IEP (has been for years) but the school system here has not been friendly to our situation and has not offered a single accomodation to help her keep up with school. 

 

She is probably a "B" student, but her grades slipped this year and now she has two "D"s on her most recent report card. She is a bright kid, (not gifted, but bright enough to manage B's and the occasional A).  She wants to go to college. She is so depressed that this year, I brought her to a psych, and he diagnosed her with an anxiety and depression disorder.  So now we are dealing with that on top of lupus.

 

I joined this forum as I am looking for help from anyone else who has a sick child IN HIGH SCHOOL (sorry I am typing all caps not to yell but to emphasise-I find school issues to be MUCH differently handled in high school than in elementary-in elementary we had no problems).  I need ideas on how you keep your kids up with the lectures happening in the classroom.

 

Here in NC we dont exactly have stellar schools. NC spends the 2nd to lowest amount on K-12 education in the entire nation.  So money is ridiculous and here in my city, which is a large city in NC, the school system is "known" for just blatantly ignoring IEPs, having IEPs that are ineffective, and basically stonewalling parents and taking the stance that they dont care how many laws they break, becasue they know parents will not be able to hire lawyers to sue them.  It is a VERY aggressive school system and well known in the area for this type of behavior. I am at the point after going through this for about five years that I think hiring a lawyer may be our only option. But I dont have the $10k it will cost and I am putting off the only option I have-to pull all the money out of my IRA to pay for this--to try to find any help I might be able to find out there in the cyber-universe  :)

 

Thanks for reading this LONG post and for any ideas anyone might have. I appreciate it so much!

kmamka is offline  
#2 of 46 Old 06-16-2012, 08:33 AM
 
Geofizz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Running with the dingos!
Posts: 8,000
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Not the parent of a chronically ill child, not the parent of a high schooler, but

Less expensive than a lawyer but possibly more proactive is an educational advocate. Have you used one? I have someone that knows the district, knows the teachers and administrators, and speaks their language. She smooths things over very quickly with a phone call, and she managed to help us craft a much better IEP -- the school even thanked her --- as someone without emotional energynwrapped up in the situation. She costs us $72/hour. We just paid the bill and the total in getting DD out of her hole and onto a positive and strong IEP cost about $500 total. The day I hired her was the first day in several months that I slept all the way through the night without spending a few hours awake stewing and fretting.
Geofizz is offline  
#3 of 46 Old 06-16-2012, 08:38 AM
 
elus0814's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: where the air force says
Posts: 777
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

What about contacting local media, they might do a story on how the district is blatantly ignoring the law.

elus0814 is offline  
#4 of 46 Old 06-16-2012, 09:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
kmamka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We have spent about $3000 on advocates (2 different ones) over recent years. They were good for certain things, but they are really not used to working with kids who miss a lot of school, nor do they seem very used to working with high school situations. Its a whole different world in high school. I feel like a long time ago they would have been helpful, but not now.

 

We also filed a complaint with the state and went to state mediation, which cost us a bundle to hire an advocate for that.  That was a few years ago. We did get some help out of that, (they have us 10 hours of tutoring over the summer, one on one with a teacher, to help with some remedial math work she missed). I found the state appointed mediator to be clueless, uneducated, and not helpful at all.

 

We are hesitant to call the media because my daughter is a teenager, and has anxiety already--and this would cause her a lot of additional stress. She has never told any of her friends that she is ill-not even her closest friends. She is very much someone who wants to "fit in" (i guess like any teenager).  We have her seeing a therapist to deal with her issues about her illness. 

kmamka is offline  
#5 of 46 Old 06-16-2012, 09:13 AM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,763
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 84 Post(s)

I have three kids in high school, two of whom have been attending part-time, all of whom have done a lot of independent study. For us this has been helpful because my kids are very involved in music, have done a lot of travelling, and have required "out of grade level" coursework to keep them challenged and engaged. They've done a combination of on-line courses, distance learning and self-designed independent study courses. Most of this they did away from school, in fact my eldest dd did her entire senior year without setting foot in the school building except for writing a couple of exams.

 

Does your school district have any provision for distance education or cyber-schooling? Or part-time attendance / part-time homeschooling? I ask just to ask ... it sounds like you're dealing with a nightmare of a school district that really doesn't care about alternatives and doesn't entertain outside-the-box solutions at all. Is there anything at the state level in the cyber-school vein?

 

Alternatively, what about full-time homeschooling through an umbrella school? Clonlara is one that I'm familiar with that has a good reputation for supporting student in various forms of learning. In terms of actual course content, you would probably have to pay for some materials, but overall I'd think this would be considerably less expensive than hiring a lawyer.

 

Miranda


Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
#6 of 46 Old 06-16-2012, 10:59 AM
 
Peony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 25,336
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)

I also highly suggest the online charter schools. I believe North Carolina Virtual Public School is one that goes through high school. My chronically ill child is still young so we  are not where you are at. How ever, I personally did have issues in high school and was pulled out by my parents to do my schooling at home. They were not the home school type and virtual schools were not around so I did 3 years of high school by correspondence classes which worked very well. I was able to work on my school work when I felt like it and take a break during times I needed it. I ended up completing high school 1.5 years early. Of course being a teenager,at first I thought not gong to regular public school with my friends was a death sentence! After a short adjustment period, I soon loved it. I could still hang out after school, weekends, and I was able to purse other interests thatI would not of had the time to do prior. 


There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
Peony is offline  
#7 of 46 Old 06-16-2012, 11:32 AM
 
ollyoxenfree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,933
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

I sympathize with your frustrations but if the school administrators and teachers are flouting the IEP process then I question whether they will abide by a judge's decision about schooling either. Both are supposed to have the force of law. It will become a little like a custody battle, where parents are supposed to abide by the custody agreement but if they don't then it's a tough battle to get any kind of satisfaction. It's also slow and expensive to run back to the court every time the school doesn't comply with whatever the judge ordered and likely ineffective in the long term anyway. 

 

I don't think the school district should get away with such shoddy treatment of students, but it sounds like a class action suit would get better results because it might result in larger, sweeping changes in administration, policy and practice. Unfortunately, class action suits take a long time. Your DD will probably be a college grad and maybe a lawyer herself before a class action suit delivers a remedy. So I don't think a class action will help your DD in the near future, but you may want to consider joining with other parents and students as a way of dealing with your frustration and also to help others. 

 

Since you have already enlisted the support of educational advocates, you've probably already tried this route, but it's worth suggesting: Are there any alternative programs or alternative schools for chronically ill children? I would check through the children's hospital, if you have one. The social workers there may be able to help.  Parents in local support groups may also have some BTDT advice for you.   

ollyoxenfree is offline  
#8 of 46 Old 06-16-2012, 02:06 PM
 
Geofizz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Running with the dingos!
Posts: 8,000
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Actually, change can happen, but it takes longer than this OP has. A group of 17 sets of parents here, working over 4+ years, filed a complaint with the state's board of ed. BOE found in favor of the students.

http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2011/09/24/ua-schools-broke-law-on-testing-state-finds.html

BOE backed it up with a clear statement that there is no appeal:

http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2011/11/15/state-rejects-ua-appeal-on-dyslexia-aid.html

This led to a huge shake up and a change in tune from the school. Our school was the focal point of all this. Many of the teachers had been bullied by the administration, and were as frustrated as the parents. A lot of reeducation has been happening, but I credit this group for the reason that DD has an IEP and that the teachers respect it.

I know this isn't what the OP is looking for. If anyone is reading along, it can happen. Like I said, the parent who started this all has been battling -- with the help of advocates and lawyers-- for 4 years.
Geofizz is offline  
#9 of 46 Old 06-16-2012, 11:45 PM
 
whatsnextmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,961
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)

Do you have any online charter high schools in your area? There are many in our area and we know many kids who participate in them for various reasons. There is class time and supervising teacher's provided. Some kids we know go into class once a week... others choose to go in for a couple hours every day. Depends on the child and what they feel they need. Even most of the traditional public school districts offer an "I-high" sort of deal.... virtual school. Something like this might be of benefit in your situation. 

 

We're not in your situation but we have some experience with the inflexibility of high school. It's quite a different world from middle and elementary. We've not had much luck fighting them about anything. We have chosen to go an alternative route specific to DD. 


Married mom of two, DD 17 and DS 13.
whatsnextmom is online now  
#10 of 46 Old 06-17-2012, 07:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
kmamka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks for the replies everyone, I appreciate it.


We DO have online high here in NC.  But I have been reluctant for a couple of years to remove her from high school, either for homeschooling and/or online high.  She is SUCH a social kid-she has friends, a boyfriend, wants to be involved in clubs and cant wait for her prom and ALL of that kind of high school stuff.  She would be devastated to be removed from school. Often when she gets sick, she is "stuck in the house" for weeks at a time, and she absolutely hates not being in school. For her, school is where she feels normalcy.

 

Plus, I am headstrong in my opinion that the public school is REQUIRED by law to educate my kid. Despite the fact that she is sick, she has a right to an education like every other kid. The struggle I am having right now is what most of you noted: by the time I battle and battle and battle-it will be too late to help her.  I feel so strongly that it is the RIGHT thing to do--but it will take so long that it will not happen in time to help my child.

 

I am off to read that link on the class action--there are so many parents here dealing with this, I want to share it with my group.  Thing is, everyone in my group is also dealing with children who are ill, so that really takes over our lives.  Time to devote to anything like this would be so hard for everyone.

kmamka is offline  
#11 of 46 Old 06-17-2012, 07:59 AM
 
whatsnextmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,961
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)

You might be surprised at how much social time virtual schoolers get. Most programs in our area offer some planned outings and typical events like prom. When your school work only takes 3 or 4 hours a day with no homework, well, you have LOTS more time to do activities and be with friends. The kids we know that homeschool or virtual school have far more real social interaction than my own kids have.

 

I do know how you feel about wanting to force the school to do what they need but I also know that there are times you just need to decide that your fight will be for other people's children, not your own. We've had to make some tough decisions this past school year because our kids were not thriving. Our kids resisted change and left to their own devices, would have stayed because it was all they really knew and they both didn't want to feel like quitters. In the end though, both were incredibly relieved once we took the decision out of their hands (they were given ample time to work it out, we worked closely with the schools, all that could have been done was done.) Now both are happier, thriving and looking forward to new adventures and schooling opportunities.

 

Just something to think about. I guess I've just not seen a case get better without some serious intervention and it may just not come in time for your DD.


Married mom of two, DD 17 and DS 13.
whatsnextmom is online now  
#12 of 46 Old 06-17-2012, 10:16 AM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,763
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 84 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmamka View Post

Plus, I am headstrong in my opinion that the public school is REQUIRED by law to educate my kid. 

 

I live in Canada where there is universal medicare. Doctors are required by law to treat my child. But that doesn't mean I'll take my kid to a doctor for an illness or injury that I know will be best treated by an alternative health care provider. Sure, I support the medicare system whole-heartedly: I think it should be in place for those who need it, and as a safety net for my own family. But if I feel another approach is best suited for a particular child at a particular time, I'm not going to feel obliged to use the medicare system anyway.

 

Having disagreed with you on that count, I will say that I do get the sense in which school represents normalcy to your dd, a touchstone of happiness and routine and a social world that she needs as she struggles with her lupus. 

 

I wonder if there is the possibility of dual enrolment in the cyber school and her bricks-and-mortar school? Meaning she could do English, History and Math through the cyber school and the rest of her courses in the classroom for example. My kids have been enrolled in an assortment of bricks-and-mortar classes and self-directed classes, and this means that when they're out of school for travel they can focus on their self-directed courses, getting way ahead in that coursework. Then when they're back in the classroom, they can let the self-directed courses slide for a while and put their energy into catching up in the three or four in-class courses. The flexibility to change the focus like this really helps keep the stress down.

 

Miranda


Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
#13 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 06:58 AM
 
ollyoxenfree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,933
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

Okay, I tried posting this yesterday, but had computer problems, so I'm trying again: 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geofizz View Post

Actually, change can happen, but it takes longer than this OP has. A group of 17 sets of parents here, working over 4+ years, filed a complaint with the state's board of ed. BOE found in favor of the students.
http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2011/09/24/ua-schools-broke-law-on-testing-state-finds.html
BOE backed it up with a clear statement that there is no appeal:
http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2011/11/15/state-rejects-ua-appeal-on-dyslexia-aid.html
This led to a huge shake up and a change in tune from the school. Our school was the focal point of all this. Many of the teachers had been bullied by the administration, and were as frustrated as the parents. A lot of reeducation has been happening, but I credit this group for the reason that DD has an IEP and that the teachers respect it.
I know this isn't what the OP is looking for. If anyone is reading along, it can happen. Like I said, the parent who started this all has been battling -- with the help of advocates and lawyers-- for 4 years.

 

 

 

Good work by those persistent parents - well done! It's terrible that it took so long to get anywhere. The story supports my point that group action tends to get results, whereas an individual may continue to be frustrated even if successful in a lawsuit. At least, that's what I glean from the comments. It appears that at least one student reached a settlement agreement (presumably to end litigation, although the comment doesn't elaborate) with the district at some point in the past but the district failed to comply. It's also interesting that the successful group action in this case wasn't through the courts. 

 

OP, I hope that there are better and much quicker solutions for your DD. 

 

It might help to contact a few colleges and discuss admission criteria and academic pathways with them. If the district refuses to make any accommodations for your DD and part-time schooling or homeschooling aren't options, I am wondering if your DD might benefit from focusing on a couple of key subjects in the next couple of years at school and just letting her grades in the others slide. She can construct a 5 or 6 year plan for getting to college - repeating any courses as necessary if she needs to improve grades, as well as building non-academic experiences such as volunteer positions. Obviously, that's a plan that she shouldn't embark on without some advice from college admissions people. It probably wouldn't work if she's hoping for scholarships or financial support. I've known a few people who took the long route to college and entered a year or two or more later than planned. They stumbled in high school for various reasons and didn't get back on track right away, but once they started college, they did well. 

 

 

ollyoxenfree is offline  
#14 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 07:50 AM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,817
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Another option is to find a private school that is willing to follow her IEP and give her current school written notice of your intent to enroll her in a private school at public expense.

 

Procedural Safeguards, Parent Notice with Resources ... - Wrightslaw

Quote:

Parent Notice

If parents decide to place their child unilaterally in a private school and want the school to reimburse them for the private placement, they must take specific steps to protect their rights.

 

The parents must advise the IEP team that they are rejecting the proposed IEP and state “their concerns and their intent to enroll their child in a private school at public expense.”

OR

10 BUSINESS DAYS before removing the child from the public school, the parent must give the school WRITTEN NOTICE of “their intent to enroll the child in a private school at public expense.”

 

 

Wrightslaw Success Stories - How I Won a Private Placement by ...

 

Alert! Appeals Court Upholds Four Years of ... - Wrightslaw

 

"Wrightslaw: From Emotions to Advocacy"

"Wrightslaw: Special Education Law, 2nd Edition"
 

 


"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
#15 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 08:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
kmamka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post

 

I live in Canada where there is universal medicare. Doctors are required by law to treat my child. But that doesn't mean I'll take my kid to a doctor for an illness or injury that I know will be best treated by an alternative health care provider. Sure, I support the medicare system whole-heartedly: I think it should be in place for those who need it, and as a safety net for my own family. But if I feel another approach is best suited for a particular child at a particular time, I'm not going to feel obliged to use the medicare system anyway.

 

Having disagreed with you on that count, I will say that I do get the sense in which school represents normalcy to your dd, a touchstone of happiness and routine and a social world that she needs as she struggles with her lupus. 

 

I wonder if there is the possibility of dual enrolment in the cyber school and her bricks-and-mortar school? Meaning she could do English, History and Math through the cyber school and the rest of her courses in the classroom for example. My kids have been enrolled in an assortment of bricks-and-mortar classes and self-directed classes, and this means that when they're out of school for travel they can focus on their self-directed courses, getting way ahead in that coursework. Then when they're back in the classroom, they can let the self-directed courses slide for a while and put their energy into catching up in the three or four in-class courses. The flexibility to change the focus like this really helps keep the stress down.

 

Miranda

Thanks for your response Miranda. And I agree with your perspective on healthcare. But in the United States, we have laws protecting kids with health issues. Schools are REQUIRED BY LAW to provide accomodations to kids who are sick (or disabled, etc) under multiple federal laws.  The school is required to provide an education to the child which is individualized and accomodates their disability (which is what "IDEA" is).  So thats why I see this as different.  I may have a sick kid and choose to use an alternative health care provider, like I dont know, an acupuncturist or something, some kind of non-traditional medicine. And that is my choice. However, education is different, at least in the US.  Here, schools are required to bend outside of their box and make it work for kids.  And they dont, in some states. In other states, they do a great job. 

The correlation to the universal healthcare example you gave would be something like this: you have a son who is sick, and you take him to a doctor, who refuses to treat him. The doctor is required, by law, to provide the healthcare, but does not.  And then what would be your response? That you should go outside the system and privately pay someone to treat him? Or would you want to fight?

kmamka is offline  
#16 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 12:21 PM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,763
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 84 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmamka View Post

The correlation to the universal healthcare example you gave would be something like this: you have a son who is sick, and you take him to a doctor, who refuses to treat him. The doctor is required, by law, to provide the healthcare, but does not.  And then what would be your response? That you should go outside the system and privately pay someone to treat him? Or would you want to fight?

 

Well, I see the metaphor differently. The  metaphorical doc isn't refusing to treat your child; he's just set in his ways and has a belief in the value of his approach. You take you kid to the doc with something, say, unrelenting insomnia. Despite your desire to try some herbal approaches first, the doc insists that a prescription sedative is the best approach. So after a bit of discussion resulting in a clear disagreement, you ditch the doc and go to a naturopath, believing this to be in your child's best interest. You could stay and argue forever with the doc about whether there's value in trying valerian root or melatonin. But the reality is that the doc has his way of doing things, and you don't think that way is best for your child. He has a duty to treat your child appropriately; he believes his approach is appropriate. You disagree. A fight is unlikely to benefit your child.

 

I understand that the school is supposed to be accommodating your child. My guess is that they believe they are doing a reasonable job of that, as they have gone through the IEP process with her. So it boils down not to a disagreement about their obligation to accommodate, but a disagreement over the appropriateness of the accommodations. And that's the point at which I would at the immediacy of my child's needs, the risks and likely benefits of an ongoing adversarial tactic, and instead look at what is best for my child's emotional, physical and educational wellness. Not at what I believe the school should be doing, but isn't ... but at what is best. 

 

Even in the best of circumstances schools are not required to provide the optimal educational environment for any child. They are only required to provide "appropriate education." Personally I prefer optimal education to simply appropriate education, so if that is within my means to create, I'm not going to bother pushing the school to provide an adequate/appropriate program.

 

Is it the particular school you've chosen that is required to bend to accommodate a child's needs? Here in Canada the responsibility falls to the school district as a whole. A highly gifted child might be offered accommodations by enrolling in a TAG school, and a child with severe developmental delays and behavioral issues might be accommodated at a school with suitable specialized services. Or, in the case of a chronically ill child they might suggest tutor-assisted school at home, or a cyber-schooling arrangement. It can be a bit of a struggle for both parents and schools to agree upon the best arrangement, but still, it's not a case of the school district absolving themselves of responsibility. Rather they look beyond the walls of a particular school to provide the best public education solution for a particular student.

 

Do you know whether it would be possible for your dd to take a handful of courses on-line while continuing to be enrolled at her school of choice for others?

 

Miranda


Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
#17 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 04:44 PM
 
Geofizz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Running with the dingos!
Posts: 8,000
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Kmamka,

I wonder if maybe a change of tactics is appropriate here. I'm struck by the fact that your DD hasn't disclosed her condition to her friends, which makes me wonder how much she's discussed it with her teachers. At this age, it's hard to come out and talk about it, especially for the first time. I do wonder, however, if the teachers would be more compliant with the existing IEP, and even helping with informal accommodations as needed if your DD wouod start advocating for herself. Have her set up meetings with each teacher to explain the condition, how it makes her feel, and have her communicate that she wants to succeed, but she needs some understanding from them to get there. I do wonder if some of the issue here is that when they see her, she always looks healthy, and that she doesn't discuss it. So to the teacher, it looks slightly manufactured, since they never see or hear any evidence of it. Of course living up ti the IEP is their JOB, but there is a human element to these things. The teacher needs to see it directly to really get it sometimes.

She might also disclose her condition to a few trusted friends who can help with simple things like sharing notes, handing things in for her, bringing her homework.

You sound very frustrated, and I really understand your desire to have the school live up to their end of their responsibilities. Sometimes having the child advocate is going to be necessary, especially as they get older. She'll have to do this herself once she gets to college. I'm a professor, so I get students registered with the office of disabilities. Sometimes when I have no idea why they're registered, it's hard for me to adapt appropriately. Many of my students seem really timid to talk about their struggles, whereas if they'd just tell me, I could go a long ways to help with really simple informal accommodations. For students that have talked to me, I've handed over notes, given extra time, and allowed for submitting work in a different form (eg typing instead of doing something handwritten). Federal law bars me from talking to parents, so this really needs to come from the student.
Geofizz is offline  
#18 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 05:43 PM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,763
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 84 Post(s)

Geofizz, that's a very good point. Taking responsibility for communicating one's struggles tends to come across to teachers as "really making an effort," and is therefore usually received favourably. My 15yo ds has dysgraphia, and he'll be writing two provincial exams this week -- with strict rules about time limits and such. He made a point last week of quietly pulling aside the teachers who teach each of those courses and reminding them of the accommodations written into his learning plan, ensuring that he'd have access to a computer for paragraph and essay answers and extra time for the pencil-and-paper short-answer stuff and diagrammatic stuff. It was tough for him to take that step, but put his usual quirky spin on it and managed to come out feeling fine about it ... and the teachers responded very supportively.

 

Miranda


Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
#19 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 05:51 PM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,817
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post
 But the reality is that the doc has his way of doing things, and you don't think that way is best for your child. He has a duty to treat your child appropriately; he believes his approach is appropriate. You disagree. A fight is unlikely to benefit your child.

 

I understand that the school is supposed to be accommodating your child. My guess is that they believe they are doing a reasonable job of that, as they have gone through the IEP process with her. So it boils down not to a disagreement about their obligation to accommodate, but a disagreement over the appropriateness of the accommodations. And that's the point at which I would at the immediacy of my child's needs, the risks and likely benefits of an ongoing adversarial tactic, and instead look at what is best for my child's emotional, physical and educational wellness. Not at what I believe the school should be doing, but isn't ... but at what is best.

 

The reality is that the school is in violation of the law  and has a history of doing so.

Quote:
...here in my city, which is a large city in NC, the school system is "known" for just blatantly ignoring IEPs, having IEPs that are ineffective, and basically stonewalling parents and taking the stance that they dont care how many laws they break, becasue they know parents will not be able to hire lawyers to sue them.  It is a VERY aggressive school system and well known in the area for this type of behavior.

 

Our special education law has procedural protections for parents/children and remedies (mediation, due process) but if the school is determined to be "uncooperative" it can be a long, hard road. If and how to fight is up to the OP.

 

An IEP is in place (which means the school already agreed to its provisions) and the school is legally required to follow it to provide FAPE (free and appropriate education) to this student. If the school is not following the IEP then it is not treating this student appropriately. An IEP is meaningless unless it is implemented.

 

Quote:
The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act of 2004 has two primary purposes. The first purpose is to provide an education that meets a child’s unique needs and prepares the child for further education, employment, and independent living. The second purpose is to protect the rights of both children with disabilities and their parents.

 

Under IDEA/IEP, if your child has a disability that adversely affects educational performance, your child is entitled to an education that is designed to meet the child's unique needs and from which your child receives educational benefit.

 

A 504 (from section 504 of the American's with Disabilities Act) is helping your child get the same education that everyone else is getting--more for a student that needs accommodations to help them learn (like sitting next to the teacher) or for behavior, and that they are not punished for things that they cannot control due to the disability.

Linda on the move likes this.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
#20 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 06:55 PM
 
serenbat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,395
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 106 Post(s)

OP- your child is not required nor is the school/teachers required to know what is going on with your DD (sure you know that) -it's strictly a private matter and I respect what you are doing- she certainly does not need that added stress to every thing else-IMO

 

I really would contact your local state rep and your local/state wide disabilities organization and see if you can get any legal council that would at least write a letter on your behalf for free-document with those organizations what the school is not doing per the IEP 

 

Have you asked http://www.lupus.org/newsite/index.html for any help with the school?

 

 

 

Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post
 But the reality is that the doc has his way of doing things, and you don't think that way is best for your child. He has a duty to treat your child appropriately; he believes his approach is appropriate. You disagree. A fight is unlikely to benefit your child.

 

I understand that the school is supposed to be accommodating your child. My guess is that they believe they are doing a reasonable job of that, as they have gone through the IEP process with her. So it boils down not to a disagreement about their obligation to accommodate, but a disagreement over the appropriateness of the accommodations. And that's the point at which I would at the immediacy of my child's needs, the risks and likely benefits of an ongoing adversarial tactic, and instead look at what is best for my child's emotional, physical and educational wellness. Not at what I believe the school should be doing, but isn't ... but at what is best.

 

The reality is that the school is in violation of the law  and has a history of doing so.

sadly many do this and won't do anything unless their feet are held to the fire by a good lawyer!


 

 pro-transparency advocate

&

lurk.gif  PROUD member of the .3% club!

 

Want to join? Just ask me!

 

"You know, in my day we used to sit on our ass smoking Parliaments for nine months.

Today, you have one piece of Brie and everybody goes berserk."      ROTFLMAO.gif 

serenbat is offline  
#21 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 07:16 PM
 
motherhendoula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: LawnGuyLand
Posts: 751
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I apologize i havent read every response - but wanted to chime in and let you know i have a 17 yr. old with Crohns Disease - another autoimmune disorder with nasty symptoms that can keep her out of school for days.  She has been on Remicade for 18 months and it has changed her life for the better. 

I wanted to say we have a 504 plan for her - i thin k this is different from an IEP and might be worth researching.  With a 504 she is treated as if she has special needs.  She is allowed to bring food and water to class - where others are not, she is allowed bathroom breaks, food and water during exams - even the SAT.   When she was newly diagnosed and very ill she was 'homebound' and they sent teachers to our home to tutor her in all subjects. 

Now that she is attending regularly she is allowed to take the bus - (even though we are close enough to the school for her to walk)  teachers are excellent about saving her hand outs if they notice she is gone from class (or late getting there)   In every class i urged her to find one friend -she can get that days notes from - i think they are ALL on Facebook!   Most of her teachers post their homework on line. 

Her schools nurse i think was biggest advocate - anything i have ever needed for her i went to the nurse first. 

http://www.greatschools.org/special-education/legal-rights/868-section-504.gs

keep pushing - it sounds like you have a big, uncaring school - you may just need to create a loud squeak to get the grease here - good luck!


Happy at Home Mama to DD 4/95 DS 4/98 and DS#2 8/10  femalesling.GIF        h20homebirth.gif       sewmachine.gif

http://www.etsy.com/shop/motherhendoula
 

motherhendoula is offline  
#22 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 07:31 PM
 
Linda on the move's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
Posts: 10,697
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 76 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by serenbat View Post

OP- your child is not required nor is the school/teachers required to know what is going on with your DD (sure you know that) -it's strictly a private matter and I respect what you are doing-

 

I think this posts shows a deep lack of understanding about how  IEPs and 504 plans work. You don't get accommodations unless you come clean about the situation and have documentation to PROVE that accommodations are needed. The notion that the teachers/school don't have a right to know is incorrect.

 

Some of the other posts on this thread also show a lack of understanding about US special education laws.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geofizz View Post

Kmamka,
I wonder if maybe a change of tactics is appropriate here. I'm struck by the fact that your DD hasn't disclosed her condition to her friends, which makes me wonder how much she's discussed it with her teachers....
Sometimes having the child advocate is going to be necessary, especially as they get older. She'll have to do this herself once she gets to college. I'm a professor, so I get students registered with the office of disabilities. Sometimes when I have no idea why they're registered, it's hard for me to adapt appropriately. Many of my students seem really timid to talk about their struggles, whereas if they'd just tell me, I could go a long ways to help with really simple informal accommodations. For students that have talked to me, I've handed over notes, given extra time, and allowed for submitting work in a different form (eg typing instead of doing something handwritten). Federal law bars me from talking to parents, so this really needs to come from the student.

 

 

Awesome post.

 

I'm wondering how long it has been since her IEP was updated and how much her grades have changed since that time. I think it might be time for a new set of accommodations. It sounds like she just finished her freshman year and it did not go well. Although the school has a reputation for not working with students, I would still follow the procedures of working to get her IEP updated.

 

My experience was that as long my DD could make B and Cs, the school saw no reason for further accommodation, but when her grades dropped to C, D, Fs, they did. Part of it was based on whether or not she was at least sort of succeeding.

 

In addition to her grades dropping, she has new dx's -- depression and anxiety -- right? These can also be used for reasons for modifying her IEP.

 

I wouldn't not use the school's reputation as a reason to not advocate for an appropriate IEP, and working with the teachers individually on following the IEP.

 

Does the school have a social worker or counselor? If so, this is some one to get into your DD's circle.

 

To me, it seems like the appropriate accommodation would be a tutor provided by the school when she is unable to attend class. Baring that, a lessened course load -- stretching highschool out over 5 years rather than 4 seems like a good option. She could have an extra study hall, which would give her more time to do work when she is well, and less to miss when she is ill.

 

Also, I am deeply sorry that you DD has lupus. hug2.gif


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

Linda on the move is offline  
#23 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 07:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
kmamka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks for all of the responses.

 

As far as communicating her illness to school staff, including all of her teachers, we start every school year by having a meeting with the IEP team, her team of teachers, someone from the lupus foundation locally here, as well as one of her doctors.  During the last IEP meeting, the doctor put a picture up on the wall of a human body, and put stickers on every place that her body has been affected, and described everything she has been dealing with.  He (and the rep from the lupus foundation) also described to the whole team why lupus is called the "silent" or "invisible" disease because those who suffer look so healthy.  About ten minutes into the meeting, there was not a dry eye in the room. I know for sure that there is absolutely no misunderstanding of how sick this kid is, nor do teachers think it is manufactured.  Every time she is out, she gets doc notes, and when she is admitted to the hospital, the hospital sends admittance information to the school.  Its very clear everyone understands her illness.

 

It is very common at this age for teenagers to keep their illnesses hidden from their peers.  It sounds nice to say that she should have more confidence and feel more comfortable and self advocate, but the fact is that her reluctance to do so is very age appropriate. This will improve over time, but it is harmful to a child to push them to tell anyone about their illness before they themselves are both comfortable with the fact that they are ill, comfortable with themselves, and then finally comfortable feeling "different" from their peers and bringing that attention to themselves. Very often high school children with chronic illnesses take years to tell anyone. 

 

I dont believe the school has attempted to provide "their version" of what they consider education to my child. In fact, the response I got at a recent IEP meeting was "if she isnt here, there's not a lot we can do".  That is not a legal response-the legal response is that in the US, the school is required to figure out how to educate her appropriately according to HER needs.  The appropriate response would be to provide tutors to keep her up with school (which have been refused by the school), or access to recordings of the class (which has been refused by the school). In fact, her current IEP contains ONE accomodation, just one, and it is an accomodation that they throw on every IEP which is no help whatsoever (taking tests in a seperate room).  The school has yet to actually provide an accomodation, so saying that what they have provided is their "best effort from their point of view" is not something they can defend. They simply have not done anything.

 

I can't believe I have to fight so hard to get my child access to education.  And honestly it kind of suprises me that whenever I talk to anyone the response is very often suggestions to pull her from school, homeschool, etc.  If this was a child in a wheelchair who couldnt physically get into the school building to hear the classes, would everyone tell the parent that perhaps the child should be homeschooled? And if the school did not find a way to get the child into the classroom, would no one be outraged?  My child is SICK, and spends much of her life in a hospital room-that is her wheelchair and what makes her unable to hear the classroom lectures. All I am asking for is for her to hear what the other kids in the classroom hear so she gets an equal education.  I guess its so clear to me and it upsets me SO much that I have to fight so hard and cannot figure out a way to get her educated. 

kmamka is offline  
#24 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 08:06 PM
 
blessedwithboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)

I don't have any advice to offer, unfortunately.  My son was refused appropriate accomodations for his illness and if the charter school hadn't closed, I would have pulled him out to homeschool.  I know that isn't the right choice for everyone.  Anyway, I just wanted you to know you aren't alone in your frustration.  Best wishes to you and your daughter!  :)


Bring back the old MDC
blessedwithboys is online now  
#25 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 08:56 PM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,763
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 84 Post(s)

I continue to be amazed by how adversarial the situation has become. I missed your first follow-up post (I think we were cross-posting). But wow, you've been through mediation and hired an advocate twice? 

 

What I'm not clear on is whether the common-sense things been tried already in the context of her current school and current courses. There's been a lot said about the law and advocates and lawyers and stonewalling by a hostile school district, and IEP meetings, but what I'm interested in is what kind of reaction you get when she asks for specific types of help from the people in the trenches who can actually make the most difference: her teachers.

 

I know you said the school has not offered anything to help her catch up. But has she talked with her teachers about how to do this? Has she explained clearly what she needs, and asked for it? I know you said they're well educated about what lupus is and how it can makes someone sick. But knowing that lupus can affect the joints and the kidneys and the skin doesn't explain to them how to help a 10th-grader stay caught up in Chemistry when she's at home or in hospital. Surely it would be in everybody's best interest if her teachers knew, for example, that there are days when she is too unwell to attend school, but often she is able to do short stints of sedentary activity, and as such prefers to continue her learning at home or in hospital during her days of illness so she doesn't get too far behind, and catch up on anything else as soon as possible... Has she had this conversation with them? And asked for specific assistance in facilitating that? If what was tried at first didn't work out well, has she been back to talk about trying something different? Dealing with a struggling student who is behind is no fun for a teacher; most would be very motivated to avoid that situation, and doing so would make their jobs easier in the long run.

 

If the teaching is primarily oral rather than textbook-based, could you put a recorder in the classroom? You could buy half a dozen amazing Tascam digital audio recorders and if picking them up is a problem, pay to have the SD cards transported by courier at the end of the school day, all for a fraction of the cost of an advocate or lawyer. Could she watch the class in real time using Skype, FaceTime or a webcam on a laptop or smartphone? Or she email the teacher each day she misses a class for a quick update on what she should be catching up on. What about arranging a brief telephone appointment times with individual teachers?

 

My eldest dd has set foot in the classroom only twice this year. She's fortunate that her coursework is primarily textbook based (or on-line, in the case of two courses) rather than lecture-based. But there have been plenty of logistical problems, particularly with assignments, tests and exams, due to her being unable to attend in the classroom. She's been forthright, polite and creative in making suggestions and asking for help dealing with her situation. She deals with the teachers directly, at a personal level, rather than going through the bureaucracy. Once the teachers understand her challenges, and have explained to them what would be helpful to her in meeting their course requirements, and once they see that she is working pro-actively to find solutions, they've been very reasonable. One creative idea she had was to install the multiplatform shared-whiteboard-and-chat software Coccinella on her computer, and got the math teacher to install it on the classroom computer. When students in the classroom were working on problem sets individually, he would circulate around and offer them help as needed, and he agreed that during those blocks of in-class time he would check the computer too. If she needed help, she would page him on Coccinella and ask her questions. They could both work on a shared virtual whiteboard on their computers, which was particularly helpful for pre-calc where text-based chatting is very awkward. It was just like he was helping her in class, except that she was in a little window on the computer. She also got a fair bit of help through khanacademy.com, which is free and full of math resources (and increasingly stuff for other high school subjects). I'm not saying these things are exactly what your dd needs, but they're an example of how the student herself can identify and suggest the sort of help that she needs, and work to get it implemented without a whole lot of extra time or effort being required of the teacher. 

 

These are not the sort of things school officials are likely to come up with on their own. The particular student is the one living with the challenges, and the one most likely to see how effective help could be given. I'm not saying you're just sitting idly by waiting for the school to solve this. But I'm wondering what efforts you've made one-on-one with teachers to solve the issue of making up missed work.

 

Miranda


Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
#26 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 09:06 PM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,817
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by motherhendoula View Post

I wanted to say we have a 504 plan for her - i thin k this is different from an IEP and might be worth researching.  With a 504 she is treated as if she has special needs.  She is allowed to bring food and water to class - where others are not, she is allowed bathroom breaks, food and water during exams - even the SAT.   When she was newly diagnosed and very ill she was 'homebound' and they sent teachers to our home to tutor her in all subjects. 

 

IEPs come from IDEA (individuals with disability act); 504s come from section 504 of the American's with Disabilities Act. An IEP offers greater legal protections than a 504 and can include accommodations, so a separate 504 isn't really necessary--I don't think it would help the OP (though a 504 eligibility eval should be done as part of the transition planning from HS to get accommodations in college).

 

Quote:

 

Key Differences Between Section 504, the ADA, and the IDEA.

 

Section 504 is a civil rights law. The purpose of Section 504 is to protect individuals with disabilities from discrimination for reasons related to their disabilities. ADA broadened the agencies and businesses that must comply with the non-discrimination and accessibility provisions of the law.

 

Unlike IDEA, Section 504 and ADA do not ensure that a child with a disability will receive an individualized educational program that is designed to meet the child's unique needs and provide the child with educational benefit, so the child will be prepared for "for employment and independent living."93wds.


"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
#27 of 46 Old 06-18-2012, 10:25 PM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,817
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

If you want to stay and fight this school I would get all your documentation ducks in a row (ref. books below) and prepare for a due process hearing and/or lawsuit.

 

All About IEPs (I just finished this one; an easy read in question & answer format)

"Wrightslaw: From Emotions to Advocacy"

"Wrightslaw: Special Education Law, 2nd Edition"

 

Below are some links that have information on accommodations. If you don't have documentation as to the schools refusal to provide accommodations you could request an IEP meeting (the annual review is the legal minimum) and provide them with all the annual goals (in detail) and accommodations you want in her IEP; if they have an IEP worksheet, write it down on the work sheet. If the school is supposed to document in writing why they are refusing an accommodation. One suggestion wrightslaw makes (paraphrasing) is to take a recording device to the meeting, say that you find it difficult to participate and take notes (true for me) so you brought the device;  and if they tell you to put it away say that "Mr. X has said that I cannot record this IEP meeting so I am turning off this device." With or without having used a recording device for the meeting send an e-mail follow-up summarizing what was/was not agreed to, and their reasons for refusal. If you get a recording, type up a transcript.

 

Lupus Alliance of America: Student 504 Plans

 

Print This Article - LUPUS Foundation

 

Teen Talk - LUPUS NOW

 

15 Questions with Jana Eshaghian - Lupus Foundation of America

 

Chronic kids: Frequently Asked Questions


"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
#28 of 46 Old 06-20-2012, 12:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
kmamka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I understand why it is suprising that this has become so adversarial with the school system.

 

I suppose I should make a few things more clear. First, I am in an ENORMOUS school district. The high school is one of the largest on the east coast.  Teachers have 40 kids in a class, and 4-5 classes a day.

 

The way EC works here, is that ALL accomodations (whether it is extra time on a test, or asking for extra help with a class, or anything) MUST go through the EC coordinating team. There are no individual discussions with teachers, nor are teachers allowed to discuss accomodations they are willing to provide for thier particular class with any student.  They follow what the IEP tells them to do, and the IEP is only drafted by the EC coordinating team.  I realize to others this lack of communication between students and teachers seems like its crazy, but its a fact of life here.  (Not for regular students, but for EC students on an IEP).  Essentially, the school is so large, that the job of the EC team is to make things as easy as possible on the teachers.  For instance, there is no emailing teachers to ask questions if you have an IEP kid.  Discussions with individual teachers arent allowed.

The teachers are not allowed to discuss accomodations they are willing to provide becasue the EC team (says) that would potentially create an unfair situaiton-where one child is given an accomodation that another teacher denied another child. Something as simple as needing some extra time on a project you'd think would be so simple, right?

 

And yes, I have asked for recorded classes (and disclosed I would pay for the recording device) and also have asked for web based classes (and disclosed I would pay for the webcams). Both of those accomodations were denied, along with many, many others that we thought would help. 

So most definitely you are correct that we are not "sitting around waiting for the school to come up with ideas".  I have been to 60 IEP meetings and have brought experts to the meetings, doctors, advocates, and many, many, many suggested IEP accomodations that we thought would help.  Everything is denied. 

I will say though, that I do believe that it is part of the EC team's JOB to present ideas that can help individual children. This is not all up to ME. They are the "experts".  Thats why I am unhappy that not one single idea has come from the school (the EC team). Not ONE.

 

Textbooks are not used in this high school which makes things much more difficult as you can imagine.

 

Yesterday, I finally hired a lawyer. I had posted on this board for ideas as well as other parenting boards, and also had talked to every possible person I could think of over the past year.  I've asked for ideas at support groups for parents with ill children, hospital social workers, I have been all over the place trying to deal with this myself for way too long.  I am exhausted, and out of time.

 

So that was my big step yesterday. I have no clue how I am going to pay for this, but I will fight.  I will fight because what the school system is doing is wrong, and I cannot NOT fight.  There are so many kids who arent being provided an education and that is just so wrong.  I cant stand by any more.   The lawyer was stunned by my description of events, and said the school system has broken so many laws and has been so negligent that he is unsure of where to even begin with it.  He wanted to really go at it, and even get my money returned for all the private tutoring I have paid for over the years. But I dont want that-I want her educated-that is all I want.  An equal education, under the law, provided to her just like every other kid. If they do things right going forward, I dont need vengeance.  I need correction of the past mistakes and a good IEP that will be meaningful going forward.

 

I feel much better after discussing this with the attorney and I know he has this handled and I can stop trying to do this all on my own.  He is a specialist in education law, and that makes me comfortable.  Someone send me good vibes that I will win the lottery though because this is gonna cost me :)

kmamka is offline  
#29 of 46 Old 06-20-2012, 03:26 PM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,763
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 84 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmamka View Post

have been to 60 IEP meetings and

This boggles the mind. You've hired two advocates and have been to 60 (SIXTY?!) IEP meetings and the only thing that's in her IEP is that she can take tests in a separate room? Unreal. I feel for you. I can't wrap my head around it but I feel for you. I understand your dd's reluctance to go public with her particular situation, but is there any network (or could you begin one?) of similarly disaffected parents, one or two of whom would be comfortable going to the media?

Miranda

Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
#30 of 46 Old 06-20-2012, 04:00 PM
 
Geofizz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Running with the dingos!
Posts: 8,000
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Sending you all the good vibes for a positive and speedy resolution I can muster. I'm sorry it's come to this but ... Wow, 60 IEP meetings deserves a medal.
Geofizz is offline  
Reply

Tags
Learning Resources

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off