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#31 of 39 Old 09-12-2012, 06:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That is a great way to word it! A puzzle not a problem. I need to remember that. 

 

Let's hope today is as successful as yesterday. 


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#32 of 39 Old 09-15-2012, 06:28 AM
 
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my dd was an extremely high energy child. she needed an energy outlet otherwise she was extremely emotional.

 

she not only had a high physical need, but an intense social need too.

 

what helped in ps was to walk to school instead of drive. and maybe sometimes stop for a hot chocolate and chat with the staff. at that age dd could never walk. she hopped, skipped and jumped to school. 

 

in K we were super lucky that we got into afternoon K. with the schools permission we arrived an hour earlier so that dd was able to join in recess with the primary and intermediate students. i had to be there to make sure dd was safe. just this had a HUGE impact on dd.

 

even today dd has an exercise ball for a chair at home. 

 

and oh yes even today dd is very much a kinesthetic learner.


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#33 of 39 Old 09-15-2012, 12:40 PM
 
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I signed up just to reply to this because it makes me sad on your son's behalf. First, anyone who has been trained as a teacher should know that you never talk for more than ten minutes before moving the students on to an activity. Second, all procedures (lining up, raising hands, putting supplies away) need to be actively taught, and it usually takes a couple of weeks and a LOT of repetition before students get it right. I used to teach *high school* and I followed these rules, or else my *fourteen* year old students got frustrated and fidgety and didn't know how to behave. You don't get to be irritated with students for not doing what you want them to until you have really, really, REALLY taught them what it is you want them to do. And even then, being irritated is usually not helpful.

 

I know I am not part of your son's classroom, and don't really know whether this woman is a good teacher or not, but the fact that she is already annoyed and sounding alarm bells about testing seems really...odd.

 

But I will say that what you are doing at home, which is essentially teaching him classroom procedures, sounds really great. It sounds effective, too.

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#34 of 39 Old 09-19-2012, 04:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for your concern. We have a two-week follow up meeting this morning with the teacher and director again. I'm sure they are going to say there is no change and push us for testing again. They may not see a change but his father and I have. The funny thing about my DS isn't that he doesn't learn and retain the information (I quiz him in the evenings) but he just won't sit still. He's an extremely bright and inquisitive 4 year; he just likes to play more than sit still.


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#35 of 39 Old 09-19-2012, 04:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey guys - just wanted to let you know that we have a two week follow-up meeting at DS's preschool today. I'm about 100% sure the teacher will proclaim that there has been no change but we will see. Something new his dad and I implemented was no tv during the week. Sure we were giving him 30-40 minutes but then we talked about it and decided to completely remove it Monday-Thursday and do other activities instead. Before we know it, it's 8:30 and time for bed.


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#36 of 39 Old 09-19-2012, 05:40 AM
 
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Thank you so much for your concern. We have a two-week follow up meeting this morning with the teacher and director again. I'm sure they are going to say there is no change and push us for testing again. They may not see a change but his father and I have. The funny thing about my DS isn't that he doesn't learn and retain the information (I quiz him in the evenings) but he just won't sit still. He's an extremely bright and inquisitive 4 year; he just likes to play more than sit still.

 

 

I am glad you are seeing some changes. =]

 

If he is learning that is fabulous.4 is an age that is mobile, it should be. Kids are wired to move and they learn through play. 

 

At 4, very few kiddos would be 'tested' for ADHD if that is what they are pushing for (there are always a few kids that are accurately diagnosed that young, but that is often after several years of suspecting it anyway). It would be rare that would give such a diagnosis to a child that previously had no concerns from parents, previous teachers, etc

 

 

Hope your meeting goes better than you expect!

 

 

 

Even my almost 7 year old rarely SITS, she perches, flops, lays, crouches, etc. and she still plays constantly. She learns best through movement- it is just the way she is. Her attention span is long and she listens well, but rarely is she just sitting still.

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#37 of 39 Old 09-19-2012, 06:57 AM
 
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Hey guys - just wanted to let you know that we have a two week follow-up meeting at DS's preschool today. I'm about 100% sure the teacher will proclaim that there has been no change but we will see. Something new his dad and I implemented was no tv during the week. Sure we were giving him 30-40 minutes but then we talked about it and decided to completely remove it Monday-Thursday and do other activities instead. Before we know it, it's 8:30 and time for bed.

 

Do you have any other options for preschool? Do you think the issue is just with the teacher or with 'tone' of the school? My dd (1st grade) came home with a packet the first week of school, and in it there is a blurb that says

Quote:
"When you ask me what I've done at school today, and I say that 'I just played,' please don't misunderstand me. For, you see, I'm learning as I play. I'm learning to enjoy & be successful in my work. I'm preparing for tomorrow. Today, I am a child and my work is my play."

 

In regards to holding him back, holding a student back is not a (legally--in public school) acceptable response to failing to address a student's needs; meaning, if they think he has special needs they need to address them and not just hold him back. If this school is your only option right now you may want to take him to a developmental-behavioral pediatrician and have them write a report for the school that (likely) says he does not qualify for a diagnosis and that his behavior is developmentally appropriate for his age.

 

The strange thing is that even if he had a diagnosis that wouldn't change anything for them. They have no say in whether or not he is medicated and (if public) they would have to provide accommodations that they already should be doing. With ADHD (or any special need) there is a lot of adjusting the environment to fit the child, not the other way around.


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#38 of 39 Old 09-19-2012, 03:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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UPDATE FROM TODAY'S MEETING:

 

The teachers informed us that his behavior has increased and that he has become defiant. When asked to do something he now tells the teachers "No", covers his ears, or crosses his arms while pouting. They also said that they noticed that he just simply cannot seem to stop making IronMan or character noises. He is a bit obsessed with ironman so we get on him to "turn it off" so that he settles down but that is hardly working for us. 

 

The director informed us that she is having someone come to generally observe to class and if maybe the room is overstimulating or perhaps the teachers need to change the way they do some of the large group/small group activities. She isn't having the person to come and observe my child directly but she is going to see if the observer picks up on his behavior and what he is doing. DB and decided that they were OK with someone observing the director even offered to set something up so that we can speak to her/him to see what they noticed in general. 

 

The director thinks the the changes as of late may be causing him stress and that that is the reason for his acting out. I do have to agree with her on that thought process but at this point, I don't see how this entire situation can be resolved without everyone feeling some sort of stress.

 

At this point, we do not feel that what he has going on is anything super major but to hear that there is an increase in his behavior after the last meeting definitely causes us to pause. The teachers are going to continue with the methods they have been trying and will try to alter depending on the situation. At home we have agreed to take away all of his action figures leaving him with toys like balls, cars, etc. Since the things he is emulating are the action figures, perhaps removing those will help the situation a bit. 

 

I also spoke with his pediatrician today and she believes him to be an active 4 year that must be taught to settle down. She also thinks that maturity plays into this and that two months for now this will be a thing of the past. I told her that I would bring the report and discuss things with her from a medical perspective. She's known him since he was 5 days old so I value her input into the situation. 

 

On a positive note, the teacher said that he has made some new friends in class and that academically he impresses them everyday. They have been able to keep him focused on certain assignments and he does them exceptionally well. We do have to work on him cutting with scissors since he tends to use both his hands and hasn't decided if his left or right him will be dominant (both his grandfathers are ambidextrous). Anyway, that's the latest on the situation. We're going to have a family talk tonight about good behavior and go from there. 


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#39 of 39 Old 09-27-2012, 06:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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LATEST UPDATE

 

I have spent the last two days in the classroom with my son to observe but to also just spend time with him, given everything that has happened up to until this point. Yesterday was a very good day for him. I didn't have to tell him to stop making the noises too many times and when I did he stopped immediately. He and his classmates played nicely but I was able to see the personalities of some of the boys he continuously has issues with. One kid in particular kept pestering the other kids intentionally. Several times I caught him pushing a child down and looking around to see if he got caught. I remember this child because this one of the kids my son bit the other week. My son has never bit anyone (not even me) so I was surprised to learned that he bit someone. Given what I saw yesterday, I have a pretty clear understanding why it happened now. 

 

Today I spent the morning in the classroom and will return at lunch. He was in rare form this morning. He was extremely active and bouncy. I did have to keep telling him to be quiet while I read the class a story and made him come sit by me to settle down. I even pulled him to the side and had a talk with him. I could see some of the behavior the teacher identified first hand and I can see how it can be a disturbance when it is time for the lesson. Our goal right now is to get him to focus and settle down doing circle time (aka story time/lesson of the day). I even went as far as to let him bring his favorite Dr. Seuss book to class and I read that to the kids and he wasn't paying attention at all. Seeing how he loves the spotlight, I could tell that some of what he was doing was to get attention from others. 

 

I'll be back up there for the second half of the day and the afternoon. I'm scheduling a meeting with his pediatrician when she returns next week to discuss him and possibly see a developmental pediatrician. It's not necessarily testing but I would like to see a medical review to make sure that yes is indeed acting like a 4 year old little boy who loves attention. I'm sure if Dad will be ok with that but I don't want to give the school any more ammunition to build a case against my son.

 

OH! And the other day I made him sit in timeout on the couch for 15 minutes. He actually stayed there the ENTIRE 15 minutes. He whined a couple of times to get down but I stuck to my guns and said no and he stayed!


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