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best type of preschool curriculum for my highly sensitive child

10K views 13 replies 9 participants last post by  suziecue 
#1 ·
My highly sensitive DD is 3 and will be attending preschool this coming year. I've been researching Montessori, Reggio, and center based (high reach) curriculum and I'm torn as to which would benefit my DD more and not be so stressful. She gets stressed when there is a lot of children and she usually needs a lot of time to adjust to different situations. I'm drawn to the Montessori approach but with my DD being highly sensitive not sure if the unstructured curriculum would be best. please help in need of some advice...pros, cons any advice. Thank you!!
 
#2 ·
I'm not familiar with high reach curriculum. I have heard some members talk about Montessori expecting parents to drop kids at the door and not enter or work with the transition at all; not sure if this is true so you might want to post this question in the subforum. You might want to look for just a really good developmentally appropriate and play based preschool, regardless of its particular affiliation.

Are there specific worries that you have with regard to your sensitive daughter?
 
#3 ·
Thank you for your response .. I guess I'm just worried her getting "set aside", because she gets overwhelmed so easily. And usually when she does she shuts down and retreats into herself or has a complete emotional meltdown. I thought maybe there would be a good type curriculum that would help her adjust and learn at her pace. I guess I'm just worried the teacher or other kids won't "get her" ..
 
#4 ·
IMHO many 3 year old have those same traits, and many of them have them at home, but not at school. Really good teachers should be in tune with 3 year olds and should also be conscious of different temperaments and how to help them in preschool. Your daughter may also do really well at preschool, and if it is challenging her, she may come home and give you the meltdown rather than her teachers! Because she knows you love her! The point being that children usually know how to behave in situations outside their home (if the teachers go over the classrooms routines and rules) and they most often rise to the occasion even though we fear they won't.

A good developmental preschool pays as much attention to social/emotional development as it does to other areas of development--even more so if it is a great preschool. Because the tasks of the preschooler are to learn self-regulation, emotional expression, social skills, and all that other great stuff in order to succeed in a group on academics.

I wonder if it would help you to poke around on the website of the National Assoc for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC). They are the accrediting body for preschools and high quality child care programs. This might give you a sense of the standards held by this body, and then perhaps you could find a preschool that has achieved these standards.
 
#5 ·
I went to a Montessori school as a child and will be sending my 3-year-old to one as well.

In the school we chose for our son, parents are encouraged to volunteer in the classroom, FYI, and thus can help with the transition. Also, for preschool they filter in the kids so they don't all start on the same "first day of school." This is also to help the transition. Children do a "circle time" at the beginning of the day, then work on independent projects. They work alone or with 1-2 other children.

Montessori is NOT "unstructured". That's a myth. It's a different structure than the one used by traditional schools. Montessori schools actually have a bit of a reputation for being rigid because they are so well-organized and structured. Each child works at his or her own pace with some undivided attention from teachers. When they need a break, they can go outside to the garden/patio and do less structured activities there. Of course they also get recess/playtime in a separate yard with play structures and grass.

Find an accredited Montessori and take a tour. Key word: accredited.

Many Montessori schools are specially designed to reduce sensory overload: use of natural light, dimmed lamps, quiet voices, soft flooring (mats to work on), etc. It's aimed to increase deep concentration. I happen to feel its particularly well-suited for sensitive children. Remember, the Montessori method was designed for children with special needs. Then they realized it was useful for all children. Montessori kids tend to be at or above their nonMontessori peers in social skills and academics.

Key components of Montessori:
Organization/ order,
Independence and self-motivation
Working with others/ collaborating
Fairness/ justice
 
#6 ·
I'd go spend time in a variety of classrooms and talk to the staff. Programs can vary wildly even with a moniker like "Montessori." Some will be fantastic and others terrible! I used to teach preschool and have sat in on all sorts of programs. It's really all about the staff.. not only in how they interact with the students but how they interact with each other. Look at a wide variety of schools.... if you don't need daycare, don't go to a school that offers it... or at least find a school that has a separate room or facility for daycare.

There are good programs that won't be good for your children. I like Montessori principals. I used many in my own class. However, my eldest found Montessori schools "creepy" and not inline with her learning style. My youngest found his own school which I knew was the right place for him when he didn't want to leave.

FWIW, both my kids were more "complex" cases as preschoolers and we found great fit schools in the most unlikely of places. Happy Hunting!
 
#7 ·
My 3 year old daughter is the exact same way so I understand! Is there any reason you HAVE to send her to preschool? I am not sure whether you work or not. If not, I would really recommend letting her stay home another year. I am very inspired by the gentle Waldorf education, and I don't see any reason that a 3 year old needs to be in preschool. Kids are going to school earlier and earlier and are really losing their childhood. Most 3 year olds don't do well in those situations. Yes, some get used to it and appear to tolerate it well, but at what cost? If you must send her to school now, I would suggest an alternative, holistic education such as Waldorf or Montessori. Something that educates and nourishes the whole child, rather than forcing worksheets and early reading and stuff. But this is all just my opinion. Good luck with whatever you decide!
 
#8 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by EllasMommy10 View Post

My 3 year old daughter is the exact same way so I understand! Is there any reason you HAVE to send her to preschool? I am not sure whether you work or not. If not, I would really recommend letting her stay home another year. I am very inspired by the gentle Waldorf education, and I don't see any reason that a 3 year old needs to be in preschool. Kids are going to school earlier and earlier and are really losing their childhood. Most 3 year olds don't do well in those situations. Yes, some get used to it and appear to tolerate it well, but at what cost? If you must send her to school now, I would suggest an alternative, holistic education such as Waldorf or Montessori. Something that educates and nourishes the whole child, rather than forcing worksheets and early reading and stuff. But this is all just my opinion. Good luck with whatever you decide!
 
#9 ·
Sorry if I repeat myself was trying to post from my phone and I'm not quite sure if I did It correctly.😬 Anyways I am returning to work so I won't be able to keep her at home. There is no Waldorf curriculum in my area and far as Montessori, the preschools i toured do not have a whole lot of parent involvement which seems a little confusing to me because after some research and the post by marsipual-mom I thought some parent participation was a component of Montessori.
 
#10 ·
There are couple of thing that I would like to mention regarding Montessori Schools. Even though most of them are members of American Montessori Society it does not mean they are the same. The example would be our local Montessori School in New York City, they have very structured curriculum. We can see that children do have opportunities to choose the materials on their own, but most of the times it would be the teachers that help the child to choose ones. When teachers are working with kids in Montessori classrooms they constantly asses their skill level and knowledge, they and trying to choose the materials that target the problematic areas. At the same time when we were going for the tours we saw other Montessori Schools where children are free to do anything they want and in that case parents may get the impression that the curriculum is unstructured. Again it is really depends from each particular school.
Another question that I see was raised in that form is the transition or drop-off procedure. This also depends from the school and has nothing to do with Montessori approach. We have been in Montessori schools that have gradual transitions and have open door policies and other schools that require to drop the child at the doors.
I truly belief that Montessori Schools provide best preschool education especially for the kids who have developmental delays or problem learning, but as any private organizations there are good and bad ones, so visit all in your area and I am positive you will find a perfect one.
 
#13 ·
I consider my son "highly sensitive" and he has thrived at our Montessori school. Things we like:
- teachers truly build a relationship with each child, which means they get to know how sensitive our son is
- consistency: our son gets to stay with the same teachers and classmates for three years
- he can choose basic things like if he wants to sit on the floor on his knees or on a chair at a table. So he's not forced to be physically uncomfortable the way he might have been in a more traditional type of school
- everything moves at his pace. Don't get me wrong, he's challenged/"pushed" a bit here and there but if he needs space or time he gets it

Not all Montessori schools are equal. There are quite a few near us but we wouldn't send ours to most of them.
 
#14 ·
I agree whole-heartedly with whatsnextmom, that staff is what's most important. Tour a preschool, and if you like the vibe, ask if you can meet with the teacher one-on-one. Regardless of curriculum, it's the teacher who will make the classroom what it is. And, like everyone says, Montessori schools vary a lot. So, tour the schools and TRUST your vibe/instinct when you're there, then TRUST your instinct when you meet with the teacher.
 
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