Tips for helping a child prepare for their first year of middle school - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 36 Old 09-05-2013, 11:06 AM
 
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my first comment is 

 

- dont worry -

 

how the friendship is depends so much on so many factors. your child's personality. the group of children. the school dynamics. 

 

dd is v. social. she has super social skills. she is an extrovert. she is well known in school. you would think she was having a great time socially.

 

she wasnt. because she is different, has a different way of thinking so its hard for her to make friends. she is seen as the weird one.  but she was never alone and was the class favorite and had lots of playmates. but a friend. a real friend she didnt really connect till she was in 5th grade. she has 4 core friends. one of whom she has known since she was 4. 

 

ooh the girls in dd's school was so catty. and cliquey. 


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#32 of 36 Old 10-06-2013, 06:06 PM
 
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welll ICM - i am throwing the towel in.

 

i will be taking dd out of her school. and homeschooling her through a charter so that her dad will be more open to it. she will be at her school till the end of this month so she can go to the field trip.

 

and then she is out. 

 

i suspect she has depression and all the hw and the organization stuff has got her all messed up. she is overwhelmed and her perfectionism is crippling her. she wants to be the best and yet cant do it (she hates all the busy homework) and so she is way too upset. 

 

maybe life will allow me to hs her for middle school years. 

 

dont want to be a downer - but just wanted to share how hard middle school is for dd when her home life is in uproar. 


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#33 of 36 Old 10-07-2013, 05:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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For some reason this thread was way down on my list of posts so I missed the last couple of posts.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by seawind View Post
 

Mom of 1st grader here with a question (i just read "first year" in the subject line but did not notice the words "middle school"!).

 

How does the friendship scene typically look like in the elementary grade? My interest was piqued by what Identitycrisismama had to say about breaking into the friendship scene in 4th grade. Hope you all don't mind the diversion- I'll read what you all have to say and then the discussion can go back to the original theme. Thanks!

My DC is a tad bit shy and she was a new transfer to this school (just in 1st, so she missed Kindy). She had friends, don't get me wrong but she wasn't in the big group of kids. She was happy - I think being "in" the group is sometimes complicated and that it may well be easier to be on the periphery in some ways. So, when I said she "broke to the scene" at 4th I meant that this was the grade where she really felt "in" this one particular group. Which, interestingly, was only a one year thing because by 5th all the kids had kind of moved around and become a more cohesive class group.  I think a lot of this varies from class/school and from child to child. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
 

i suspect she has depression and all the hw and the organization stuff has got her all messed up. she is overwhelmed and her perfectionism is crippling her. she wants to be the best and yet cant do it (she hates all the busy homework) and so she is way too upset. 

 

maybe life will allow me to hs her for middle school years. 

 

dont want to be a downer - but just wanted to share how hard middle school is for dd when her home life is in uproar. 

I'm so sorry to hear that your DD is struggling so, meemee. :Hug  Through the grape vine we heard about a friend who is struggling with perfectionism in middle. And, with the increased work load and greater diversity of academic skill level, I can absolutely see that a perfectionist with a competitive spirit would be really challenged by middle -- especially if dealing with depression AND home life challenges. 

 

Is your DC looking forward to HSing?  I can imagine that HSing for middle school could be really fun because you're past some of the specialized "learning to learn" phase but are still on relatively simple concepts. Plus, their emerging interest in social issues would be really fun to teach, I think. She's old enough that travel will be easy so you can do museums and all sorts of wonderful things. I wonder if you can't harness some of her perfectionism/competitiveness through city competitions and programs so that she can make the best of that trait. I can certainly see how it can be crippling but, at the same time, so motivating. Sometimes I wish my DC had just a bit of that. ;-)  

 

Please keep us posted, mama. 


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#34 of 36 Old 10-14-2013, 10:41 AM
 
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Meemee I too am sorry to hear your child is struggling! It's so stressful! I wish we all had magic wands and could make our kids' lives happy all the time.  I hope things go well for her with homeschooling through the charter school. I have had friends use those options and they worked for their kids. Often the kids would then want to go to brick and mortar school later.


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#35 of 36 Old 10-14-2013, 12:49 PM
 
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Thank you so much ICM and usamma. your support means so much to me. even virtually.

 

backstory - before i was pregnant my then dh really wanted to hs his child/ren because he remembers he was so bored at school. when i was pregnant dh was still talking hs. then we split up when dd was 18 months old and suddenly i would be the worst teacher for dd - even though i have a college degree. i have texted, emailed him a bunch of times (without being a pest) offering him all the details to check out the charter school. he still hasnt gotten back to me. and the suspense is killing me.

 

dd and i are VERY excited. we both are looking forward to this. we are so scared too. at least more me than dd. i knew what to do with elementary school. not so sure about MS AND working and how that will all fit. 

 

as part of her brick and mortar hs community service requirement, dd is helping out at a parks and rec farm. mostly taking care of the stabled horses. her school approved the community service. dd had a blast yesterday. the person in charge was a v. kind man and gave her a riding lesson. he is setting it up in such a way that its a trade. work for riding lessons. 

 

i would like her dad to be onboard with her school choices. but he is trying to get dd to go to the neighborhood elem. school. :eyesroll (he didnt tell me, he suggested to dd to try and go to the neighborhood school). another place of boredom. he hasnt told me a for sure yes or no. as i have thought of plans (to keep part of his involvment to the very minimum) i have emailed him the details - but he has been silent. 

 

if i dont hear from him by the end of this month, i'll have to make the decision myself. 


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#36 of 36 Old 10-14-2013, 01:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
 

Thank you so much ICM and usamma. your support means so much to me. even virtually.

 

backstory - before i was pregnant my then dh really wanted to hs his child/ren because he remembers he was so bored at school. when i was pregnant dh was still talking hs. then we split up when dd was 18 months old and suddenly i would be the worst teacher for dd - even though i have a college degree. i have texted, emailed him a bunch of times (without being a pest) offering him all the details to check out the charter school. he still hasnt gotten back to me. and the suspense is killing me.

 

dd and i are VERY excited. we both are looking forward to this. we are so scared too. at least more me than dd. i knew what to do with elementary school. not so sure about MS AND working and how that will all fit. 

 

as part of her brick and mortar hs community service requirement, dd is helping out at a parks and rec farm. mostly taking care of the stabled horses. her school approved the community service. dd had a blast yesterday. the person in charge was a v. kind man and gave her a riding lesson. he is setting it up in such a way that its a trade. work for riding lessons. 

 

i would like her dad to be onboard with her school choices. but he is trying to get dd to go to the neighborhood elem. school. :eyesroll (he didnt tell me, he suggested to dd to try and go to the neighborhood school). another place of boredom. he hasnt told me a for sure yes or no. as i have thought of plans (to keep part of his involvment to the very minimum) i have emailed him the details - but he has been silent. 

 

if i dont hear from him by the end of this month, i'll have to make the decision myself. 

 That is so tough to have to deal with a lack of support from your dd's dad. It makes things all the more difficult. Horses are great! Not only for the educational/recreational aspect but working with animals is so fulfilling and good for the spirit. I knew a family of 3 girls. They were homeschooled their entire childhood. One worked part time at the stables cleaning stalls to earn riding lessons. One volunteered at the local museum and even gave tours sometimes. One was a serious dancer. I just caught up with them and they are all adults now and doing very well in life. 


7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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