Was "holding her back" the right thing to do?? - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 7 Old 08-27-2013, 02:17 PM - Thread Starter
strmis's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 852
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

URGH!! I'm so torn =(

DD1 turned 5 in June. She attends a private christian school which I just LOVE! Good academically but VERY nurturing and loving. 

She is ready for K, but because they only offer 5 FULL days we weren't ready to let her "go into the system" so we decided to ease her into it at 5 afternoons.  I work 3 days a week from 11-6 and I wanted to spend the majority of my 2 days off with her still AND my mornings.  Our home public school offers ams only.  


We talked to the PreK director and she said DD1 would be find either way. Academics wouldn't be a problem b/c the montessori curriculum would still challenge her at her level. Plus, we figured, moving forward she'd be a little more mature and bigger AND we want her (and us) to enjoy being a kid for another year. (they grow and MATURE so fast now, it seems!)


Now I'm just not sure we made the right choice because if we can't afford to send her to private school moving forward (she's got a sibling to consider, financially) will she be bored in public school in K-8 in the years to follow.  As it is, for her age, she is very well rounded socially and academically.  

h20homebirth.gif    femalesling.GIF-     familybed2.gif   -Yep... thats me redface.gif

strmis is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 7 Old 08-27-2013, 03:12 PM
tbone_kneegrabber's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: West Philly
Posts: 2,748
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We didn't send ds to kindergarten last year but instead kept him in his mixed aged preschool 3 days/week.  Our plan was to see how it went and have the option to enroll him the following year in K or 1st grade.  Kindergarten is not mandatory where I live so we would be able to choose where to put him at 6 years old.

tbone_kneegrabber is offline  
#3 of 7 Old 08-27-2013, 07:16 PM
grumpybear's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 900
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

What makes you think she will be bored in the K-8 public school? If the school is good about differentiating material for the students, she should be ok with whatever level she's currently working at.

grumpybear is offline  
#4 of 7 Old 08-27-2013, 09:45 PM
whatsnextmom's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,013
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 34 Post(s)

I'm not a fan of retaining developmentally appropriate kids but the choice was made and you may be able to make it work. It's not certain that she'll be bored. "Red-shirting" can trend heavily in certain areas. There could be lots of kids in her predicament and thus more kids to differentiate for. If it's not common, you might need to work more closely with the teachers directly on her own behalf. I'd not "borrow trouble" though. You don't know that she'll be bored. She may be perfectly challenged with the regular curriculum.


"Grade correction" has become common in our area. Basically, kids who are held back and clearly not fitting in their grade are double promoted... usually in 6th or 7th grade. It's not ideal but could be an option for you should things go poorly. 

Married mom, DD 18, DS 15, and a Valentine's surprise on the way!
whatsnextmom is offline  
#5 of 7 Old 09-01-2013, 02:16 PM
KSLaura's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 595
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 63 Post(s)
Younger DD just missed the cutoff for Kinder. She can already read and write, so she's going to be pretty far ahead when she starts school in a year. We are compensating with lots of extra-curricular activities (dance, gymnastics, considering starting violin). Her elementary school does 'ability group placements' for reading, spelling, and math.

Will your DD's school differentiate for subjects where she is ahead?

" rel="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/familybed2.gif">familybed2.gif  DD1 12/05, DD2 12/08

Computer Engineer- I write better in 1's and 0's. ;-)
KSLaura is offline  
#6 of 7 Old 09-06-2013, 12:02 PM
Catwmandu's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Central New Jersey
Posts: 400
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

OP: I think you are fine to consider public next year. We did something similiar last year. My DD turned 5 in Sept (the 20th) and our cut off was Oct. 2. I could have put her in K taking her out of the 1/2 day montessori she attended since she was 2 1/2 but knew that while her academic skills were great that socially she was not ready for a 8:30 - 3:20pm kind of day. She still sucks her thumb, has some regulation issues and has trouble with social cues. She is still ahead (at least reading wise) but I'm told that the public school is great at picking out both advanced as well as lagging kids early and tailoring portions of the day to their needs. HTH!


tbone_kneegrabber's: What did you decide for this year?

Catwmandu is offline  
#7 of 7 Old 09-07-2013, 06:13 AM
beanma's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: with the dustbunnies & sugar beans
Posts: 8,108
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)

Will you need to have her in public school kindy next year or would you be able to start her at first grade? When is her birthday? I definitely would not have wanted my dd2 with a Nov birthday to be held back a year (our cutoff is Aug 1st). As it is she's always one of the oldest kids in the class. In some ways, though, I think it wouldn't have hurt my dd1 (Feb b-day) to start a year later. She had a huge amount of separation anxiety and really just a big adjustment to school in general. We weren't close enough to the cut off to try keeping her back a year, though, so we opted to have her in a small private school and that offered us more flexibility.  We kept her on track with her age-mates, though and now in 7th grade I think she would be unhappy if she was in 6th.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
to two girls, Feb 2001
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and Nov 2003
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. DH
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
, and one crazy
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. Riding in our zero-emission Leaf
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
"All you fascists are bound to lose" ‚ÄĒ Woody Guthrie
beanma is offline  


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 15,786

33 members and 15,753 guests
aparent , beedub , Boobiejuice , Citymomx3 , CricketVS , floss&ferd , Gameiva , girlspn , harrietsmama , healthy momma , hillymum , iisopurewater22 , jamesmorrow , jelaine , JElaineB , justlizzy , katelove , Kelleybug , lguse , LilMomma83 , LiLStar , maddmom , manyhatsmom , Michele123 , Mirzam , NaturallyKait , Nazsmum , RollerCoasterMama , SweetSilver , Turner58800
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.