Was "holding her back" the right thing to do?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 08-27-2013, 02:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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URGH!! I'm so torn =(

DD1 turned 5 in June. She attends a private christian school which I just LOVE! Good academically but VERY nurturing and loving. 

She is ready for K, but because they only offer 5 FULL days we weren't ready to let her "go into the system" so we decided to ease her into it at 5 afternoons.  I work 3 days a week from 11-6 and I wanted to spend the majority of my 2 days off with her still AND my mornings.  Our home public school offers ams only.  

 

We talked to the PreK director and she said DD1 would be find either way. Academics wouldn't be a problem b/c the montessori curriculum would still challenge her at her level. Plus, we figured, moving forward she'd be a little more mature and bigger AND we want her (and us) to enjoy being a kid for another year. (they grow and MATURE so fast now, it seems!)

 

Now I'm just not sure we made the right choice because if we can't afford to send her to private school moving forward (she's got a sibling to consider, financially) will she be bored in public school in K-8 in the years to follow.  As it is, for her age, she is very well rounded socially and academically.  


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#2 of 7 Old 08-27-2013, 03:12 PM
 
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We didn't send ds to kindergarten last year but instead kept him in his mixed aged preschool 3 days/week.  Our plan was to see how it went and have the option to enroll him the following year in K or 1st grade.  Kindergarten is not mandatory where I live so we would be able to choose where to put him at 6 years old.

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#3 of 7 Old 08-27-2013, 07:16 PM
 
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What makes you think she will be bored in the K-8 public school? If the school is good about differentiating material for the students, she should be ok with whatever level she's currently working at.

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#4 of 7 Old 08-27-2013, 09:45 PM
 
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I'm not a fan of retaining developmentally appropriate kids but the choice was made and you may be able to make it work. It's not certain that she'll be bored. "Red-shirting" can trend heavily in certain areas. There could be lots of kids in her predicament and thus more kids to differentiate for. If it's not common, you might need to work more closely with the teachers directly on her own behalf. I'd not "borrow trouble" though. You don't know that she'll be bored. She may be perfectly challenged with the regular curriculum.

 

"Grade correction" has become common in our area. Basically, kids who are held back and clearly not fitting in their grade are double promoted... usually in 6th or 7th grade. It's not ideal but could be an option for you should things go poorly. 


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#5 of 7 Old 09-01-2013, 02:16 PM
 
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Younger DD just missed the cutoff for Kinder. She can already read and write, so she's going to be pretty far ahead when she starts school in a year. We are compensating with lots of extra-curricular activities (dance, gymnastics, considering starting violin). Her elementary school does 'ability group placements' for reading, spelling, and math.

Will your DD's school differentiate for subjects where she is ahead?


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#6 of 7 Old 09-06-2013, 12:02 PM
 
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OP: I think you are fine to consider public next year. We did something similiar last year. My DD turned 5 in Sept (the 20th) and our cut off was Oct. 2. I could have put her in K taking her out of the 1/2 day montessori she attended since she was 2 1/2 but knew that while her academic skills were great that socially she was not ready for a 8:30 - 3:20pm kind of day. She still sucks her thumb, has some regulation issues and has trouble with social cues. She is still ahead (at least reading wise) but I'm told that the public school is great at picking out both advanced as well as lagging kids early and tailoring portions of the day to their needs. HTH!

 

tbone_kneegrabber's: What did you decide for this year?

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#7 of 7 Old 09-07-2013, 06:13 AM
 
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Will you need to have her in public school kindy next year or would you be able to start her at first grade? When is her birthday? I definitely would not have wanted my dd2 with a Nov birthday to be held back a year (our cutoff is Aug 1st). As it is she's always one of the oldest kids in the class. In some ways, though, I think it wouldn't have hurt my dd1 (Feb b-day) to start a year later. She had a huge amount of separation anxiety and really just a big adjustment to school in general. We weren't close enough to the cut off to try keeping her back a year, though, so we opted to have her in a small private school and that offered us more flexibility.  We kept her on track with her age-mates, though and now in 7th grade I think she would be unhappy if she was in 6th.


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