School is starting soon and I'm so nervous - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 08-08-2004, 10:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a 5 yr old who has been in Montessori for 3 yrs. He will start 1st grade at the public school.
I'm nervous for a few things, he is younger than most if not all in his class. Techincally he is elidgible for kindergarden by his birthday, but I had him tested due to his prior 3 yrs of schooling. He passed with flying colors for 1st grade.
So, he's younger, he is also my sensitive child. Do other mother's have their nerves on a string for their child going to school?
I really wanted to homeschool, but my dh said no. All of our friends hs.
I've posted another post in vaccination section which is also making me nervous.
Any other mothers out there nervous about school starting or am I just flipped?
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#2 of 12 Old 08-09-2004, 12:07 AM
 
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Hi,

I am always in a twist about school. Wish they didn't have to go full time (single mom so no homeschooling). I do have a suggestion for you (I will not be offended if you totally disagree)-send your son to kindergarten first.

I am sure that the academics will be cake for him but the social part and the learning to sit and do what the rest of the class is doing may not. After three years of Montessori the sitting and waiting because the teacher has to get everyone on the same page will be even harder than for children prepared in a traditional preschool.

I went from a Montessori kindergarten to public 1st grade and I was shocked at the amount of desk sitting and the fact that I could not move ahead with my own thing while the teacher was getting everyone else settled. I also have a daughter who is very bright but does not like to follow the other drummers beat. I had her repeat kindergarten and now she is the oldest in the class. I have not regretted my decision- she is much more patient now.

Good luck,

Ananda
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#3 of 12 Old 08-09-2004, 10:10 AM
 
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ita-
send him to kindergarten- the 'school' part of it is not even half the story!!!!!!
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#4 of 12 Old 08-09-2004, 04:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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He already went to Kindergarten, just not public school. In fact he reads, writes, does multiplication, name the continents of the globe and even identify the location of the 50 states. So, why would I send him away to school to be bored out of his mind for 2 1/2 hours?
Our county kindergarten program isn't very good. It's 2 1/2 hours. The standards state they must pass the PALS test before going to 1st grade and the girl across the street didn't pass and they are promoting her anyway. She isn't reading which is required.
I don't approve of a one size fits all education, but that is what public school is. Everyone reads at 5, everyone mulitplies at 8 etc.
Truth be known, I don't want him in public school. I can't afford private school anymore. My dh won't let me homeschool.
I'm a wreck. -- vent, rant, vent... STRESSED by my own accord.
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#5 of 12 Old 08-09-2004, 06:14 PM
 
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Well, if you don't really have any other options then I'd try to get in a positive mindset about 1st grade - since your ds will "read" you and you don't want to negatively affect his view of his new school. I was always thrilled for my kids to go to school - but I had a good experience and assumed they'd be having the time of their lives so I didn't have the nervous feelings. My dd3 hasn't started school yet though (she is only 14 months) so ask me again when I am facing an empty nest!
Have you asked the school if they have a PAT (Program for the Academically Talented) program? In our (very small) public school district, they have this as an option starting in second grade. It is not really advertised - you just kind of hear about it if you know someone who has a child in the program.
I would also see if you can schedule some one-on-one play dates with some 1st grade classmates before school starts - so he has a jump start on the social side of it. I agree with some other posters that being at a certain level academically is not always the same as being there socially, etc. My dd1 did a full day kindergarten (not my preference but they didn't offer half day K at her school) just after she turned 5 (July birthday). She did great academically and had plenty of practice re: school setting from two years of preschool, but just would get tired and easily frustrated as the day wore on. I'd just try to be prepared for a few month adjustment as he matures. I wouldn't schedule ANY extracurricular (like sports or Boy Scouts) that first year of school - it will be enough for him to make the transition to full day school in a different style than he did preschool/K. My dd1 had to drop ballet, Girl Scouts, etc. that first year of elementary. It will all be there for him to participate in the year after.
Good luck!
Kirsten
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#6 of 12 Old 08-09-2004, 06:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Electra375
He already went to Kindergarten, just not public school. In fact he reads, writes, does multiplication, name the continents of the globe and even identify the location of the 50 states. So, why would I send him away to school to be bored out of his mind for 2 1/2 hours?
Our county kindergarten program isn't very good. It's 2 1/2 hours. The standards state they must pass the PALS test before going to 1st grade and the girl across the street didn't pass and they are promoting her anyway. She isn't reading which is required.
I don't approve of a one size fits all education, but that is what public school is. Everyone reads at 5, everyone mulitplies at 8 etc.
Truth be known, I don't want him in public school. I can't afford private school anymore. My dh won't let me homeschool.
I'm a wreck. -- vent, rant, vent... STRESSED by my own accord.
I was the other way around .. I read about Hsing and said thats what will happen with my two kids. No way they will be in goverment schools . My wife wanted them to stay in . I told her I had to make this decision because its best for this family . So I pulled them out and they are at home with me learning life as a curriculum . We really don't get into school at home . I do understand you though on the husband . I just could not stand another year where my kids would be raised and taught by the school system here .
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#7 of 12 Old 08-09-2004, 06:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Kristen -- You are right, I don't have a very good view of school. I do try to be positive for my son.

This is the place I let my hair down and speak my mind.
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#8 of 12 Old 08-09-2004, 11:40 PM
 
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I hope you and your son will feel good about whatever happens. One more suggestion then I will hush- have you thought about putting him in the kindergarten and then homeschooling him an extra hour or so a day? Your husband probably wouldn't object to the extra schooling since he would be in public school and maybe after a year of that he would be so impressed by how much more he was learning at home than in school he would let him stay home permanently. Kindergarten isn't much more than coloring, learning to stand in line and wait your turn, and playing anyway. A little extra kindergarten never hurt anyone. As my dd's first kindergarten teacher said "kindergarten is the best year- I got back as fast as I could".

Best wishes
Ananda
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#9 of 12 Old 08-10-2004, 10:10 PM
 
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Hi,
I'm a public school teacher, and I wanted to comment on a couple of things. First of all, I taught Montessori kinder 2 years ago (but I'm not formally trained in it). The year before that I taught 1st grade public school. I very much agree witht hose who have suggested kindergarten first. Your son, at 5, will be far younger than most of his classmates, even if he is academically ready for 1st grade. My sister skipped kinder and was younger and smarter than all of her other classmates and was teased mercilessly throughout elementary school.

While your son may be a little bored by the academic aspect of kinder, don't be too surprised if he finds it fun. Being around other kids his own age will be interesting for him, and they work hard in kinder to make the atmosphere as fun and comfortable as possible, with lots of singing, games, etc.

I also have to take exception to the "everyone reads at 5, everyone multiplies at 8" statement. Any decent educator knows that this is absolutely not true, and while we do have certain standards we are supposed to teach, we know that not every child will be working exactly at "grade level". We try to make sure that those that need it get extra help, and those that are excelling get to work at their own pace. I work very hard every single day to teach 24 5th graders, some of whom cannot multiply, and some who can do algebra!
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#10 of 12 Old 08-11-2004, 02:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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****I started this thread to discuss nervousness about sending your sensitive child off to a big public school for the first time.**** Not to discuss the kindergarten vs. 1st grade issue, my husband has already made his decision in that case and it is a non-issue of this thread. I'm sorry I didn't make myself clear on that.
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#11 of 12 Old 08-12-2004, 02:58 PM
 
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Hi. I'm new here and I was thinking of asking others about being nervous about sending your child off to public school also. In our case, my ds is going to K this year, but I'm totally stressed about it. *He's* excited and not nervous at all. Go figure. I totally don't want him gone all day long. They go from 7:30 to 2:45 here, which just seems like forever. I'm freaking out over every little thing and worried that he won't have the right stuff, etc. Seems like everyone I know whose kid is starting this year is just excited they're going to have all that free time. I'm bummed out b/c I won't be able to do as much fun stuff w/ him anymore. : Dh won't even consider homeschooling and I'm not sure it'd be right for ds even though I'd sure like to keep him home.

On the K vs. 1st grade, I know my nephew was academically ahead, but they sent him to K anyway and he was always in trouble b/c he was bored. I had several friends in hs and college who started early for one reason or another and they all did fine.
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#12 of 12 Old 08-12-2004, 09:46 PM
 
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I think it is normal for us mama's to be nervous when our little ones go off to school for the first time. It's usually the first time they will be gone from us for so many hours--it is hard to imagine and we want to know everything!! Fortunatley, our children usually reassure us by having a great time, and showing us they really are independent little beings! It's good to talk to other moms in your own community about it. I remember some of us went out to coffee together to help us through that first morning of sending our kids off!

 
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