Would you bring this up to the teacher? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 09-04-2004, 01:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd just started a new school. On the first day I saw a girl drag a 30 lb container of cat litter over to her teacher to help clean the rabbit cage. It was heavy, obviously, but she was getting it there, bit by bit. The teacher told her it was too heavy for her and then told her that "Tom", a boy in the class should do it. The teacher pointed out to the girl how strong Tom was. Tom replied "it's too heavy!" but after a little encouragement from the teacher, he carried it. I watched this all - Tom really didn't seem any stronger than the girl.

It really bothered me as this is the kind of sexism I see as being rampant, but that is under the radar of most people. Why couldn't the teacher have encouraged the girl to carry it? She was about 5 yrs old or so, in fact, a year older than Tom.

Now, of course, this being our first day, I have no idea what history might have gone on before this. Maybe there are extenuating circumstances I dont' know about that woudl make sense if I knew. In which case I look like a busybody if I bring it up.

I guess I'll probably let it slide, but when it first happened, I just felt incredibly agitated about it. And there was my dd watching and soaking it all in.
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#2 of 10 Old 09-04-2004, 01:11 AM
 
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yes! Or keep an eye out for it to happen again (which I bet it will) and speak up and say, "Wow "Anna" or whoever you're really strong--you were really doing it. Why don't you help Tom? Together you two strong kids could really move it." Annoying the teacher's not doing that!

mama to DS 9 and DD 5 and
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#3 of 10 Old 09-04-2004, 01:45 AM
 
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yeah, that's gross. I mean, if she (the teacher) deemed it too heavy, why not ask Tom to help carry it and allow both of them to do it? I know my five year old would have trouble carrying thirty pounds since he only weighs 35 pounds himself. ugh.
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#4 of 10 Old 09-04-2004, 01:49 AM
 
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I would.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#5 of 10 Old 09-04-2004, 02:19 PM
 
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Yes, mention this to the teacher. She probably wasn't even aware of what she was doing. I still remember incidents like this when I was in elementary school.
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#6 of 10 Old 09-04-2004, 03:41 PM
 
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I would bring it up. I think people think little girls are too fragile and they automatically assume a boy is stronger. i was always way stronger than the boys, and I often surprised people!
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#7 of 10 Old 09-04-2004, 04:33 PM
 
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I was thinking about this more and you definitely should bring it up. If the teacher is unaware she's doing that, she needs to be made aware it's inappropriate behavior. If she is aware, she should be reprimanded.

If this were a race issue instead of a gender, you wouldn't hesitate to bring it up, right? Either the little girl is learning that she's not as good as a boy or she can use the fact she's a girl to get out of doing a job.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#8 of 10 Old 09-04-2004, 08:23 PM
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Run, don't walk, to the bookstore and buy a copy of Failing At Fairness: How America's Schools Cheat Girls

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#9 of 10 Old 09-04-2004, 10:38 PM
 
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I would bring it up, too.

Quote:
Run, don't walk, to the bookstore and buy a copy of Failing At Fairness: How America's Schools Cheat Girls
Is it good enough that I put it on hold at the library?

 

 

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#10 of 10 Old 09-04-2004, 11:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for encouraging me. Your'e right - if this were a race issue I would have made a beeline for the director. I'll bring it up with the teacher. I hope it's just an oversight and nothing more. I was so looking forward to having this teacher. She was a LLL leader for over 20 yrs and big believer in AP. I'll post back here after I talk with her.

I'll also check out that book.
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