Just got home from "Back to School" night . . . - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 09-14-2004, 10:46 PM - Thread Starter
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. . . and I wanted to cry right there in my daughter's classroom! My oldest two children, dd (9) and ds (7) attend a local Catholic school. Two years ago, the principal left for a new job. He was a wonderful, warm, dynamic man who obviously cared deeply for the students and the school. He had wonderful ways of motivating them, etc. and just clearly enjoyed interacting w/them. We considered leaving then, but for a variety of reasons, decided to stay. Well, I went to my dd's 4th grade classroom and listened to this teacher talk about all the discipline tactics she uses and I was appalled! A missed homework means no recess, two missed homeworks means AN HOUR of writing from the Bible after school! They have a computer in the classroom that she has never turned on! Reports topics are assigned by what she thinks your child is "capable" of -- in her words, "smarter children have more to do". She said this in front of four or five of the students!
My daughter is very bright, though she suffers from an anxiety disorder. I am so worried that this rigid kind of environment will be damaging for her. Am I overreacting to this? Should I approach the teacher in some way? We have regularly considered transfering the kids to public, but our middle school has soooo many issues. I know you can't tell me what's the "right" thing to do, but I'd sure appreciate any comments or suggestions!
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#2 of 6 Old 09-14-2004, 11:57 PM
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No I don't think you're overreacting. If it were me, I'd be running as fast as I could away from that teacher, or if that's not possible, that school (assuming that's possible). I feel your sorrow. It's so awful when someone who really really cares leaves and you're left with less regard than your children deserve.
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#3 of 6 Old 09-15-2004, 12:29 AM
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I would be horrified, and terrified of what sort of damage could be done to the kids there. Run!

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
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#4 of 6 Old 09-15-2004, 03:25 AM
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My opinion is that you have to love it (or at the very least have many more pros than cons) or it is the wrong place. It is a great feeling to just know your kids are in a place that is great for them. If you don't feel that (and you said you were having thoughts of moving them to the public school - even before this happened), then I would make a change. Do the kids have any friends in the local public school? Have they ever asked about it or talked about it - how do you think they'd respond if you moved them? I assume private school is pricy - you could put that tuition money towards college if you switched to public. But money aside, you have to feel good about your decision - listen to your gut.

I do know how you feel about the principal leaving - the woman who ran dd1's school when she was in kindergarten was so warm and loving and the kids (EVERY single kid in that school) just lit up when she walked in. She made all of us (kids and adults) there feel like we could do anything - you could feel the love and respect; it just oozed from her. Guy who replaced her was ok but you couldn't follow her. Now we have a third new principal and I think she'll be great.

Good luck deciding what to do.
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#5 of 6 Old 09-15-2004, 09:26 AM
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A missed homework means no recess, two missed homeworks means AN HOUR of writing from the Bible after school!
I don't know if you are catholic, but this sounds like an effective technique for turning kids off to both school and religion simultaneously.

Are there different classes for your child's grade level? Could you switch her? I would definitely check out the public school.
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#6 of 6 Old 09-15-2004, 04:03 PM
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Follow your gut! And I'd also let the school know why you're leaving.
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