Playdate took ds to McDonalds! (Rant) - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-08-2005, 10:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
bendmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Bend, Or
Posts: 1,358
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Aidan is in K. and was invited to go over to a friend's house after school. His mom lives with her parents and they all smoke and drink let her boy watch a ton of cartoons, he also seems to be behind in school and in play(his mom doesn't do anything at home to further his educational skills).

I agreed to the playdate, but dh and I agreed that I would go over to kind of okay the situation. On the day he was going over, I had something come up and couldn't go. She said they would be fine and she would bring him home in 2 hrs. I let her know that we are strict vegetarians and Aidan has never had meat, she said she would make them Mac and cheese.

When I came home, dh was in the kitchen and I asked him if he asked Aidan what the had for lunch. He said they had french fries and soda from Macdonalds : . So I asked Aidan if they took it home and had them with lunch, or at least played in the playland. He said that's all they had, and they had to stay outside macdonalds because the mom wanted to smoke.

I am very upset about this, but am not sure if I should be. I know the rule is that if your child gets invited over to a friends house, you invite that child later. But I don't want to.

We put our son in the school he's in because it's small and crunchy. We decided if he didn't get in(it's a public alternative magnet school)we would do homeschool. I want my son to play with the children who enjoy the things we do, and have the same healthy lifestyle. There are many children in his class who come from vegatarian families, work on school stuff at home, do arts and crafts at home, not just sit and watch tv all day. Why does he pick the kid who's family leads a totally opposite lifestyle? And WHY did this mom think that was appropriate for a meal?!

Aidan 8/11/99 Bryn 9/7/04 Jardin is here! 8/23/10 ~Kindness is My Religion~ Dalai Lama
bendmom is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 02-08-2005, 10:57 PM
 
MomInFlux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: the beautiful mountains of sunny Southern California
Posts: 1,737
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, playdate mom got your DS a vegetarian meal, right :

I think that I wouldn't want my child to go on a playdate to this particular friend's house again. Maybe I would invite this child to your house for a playdate to reciprocate, but then tell your DC that he needs to invite other friends for future playdates (make it sound like he needs to take turns, perhaps?).
MomInFlux is offline  
Old 02-08-2005, 10:59 PM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MomInFlux
Well, playdate mom got your DS a vegetarian meal, right :
It all depends on how you define vegetarian since their fries are cooked in beef fat.

I would invite the child over for a play date. Maybe you can have a positive influence? Maybe it would be a healthy meal and healthy play that he might not otherwise experience.

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
Old 02-08-2005, 11:03 PM
 
AngelBee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Brighton, MN
Posts: 19,261
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It turned out not so good....but it kinda sounds like she tried...

Does ds like playing with him? If yes, then I definantly would have him over.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

AngelBee is offline  
Old 02-08-2005, 11:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
bendmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Bend, Or
Posts: 1,358
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We remember the whole deal about the beef fat in the fries too, didn't she?

My concern is more that he is playng now almost exclusively with this boy at school. When my dh went to pick him up the other day from class, he noticed that our son and this boy's pictures of their teacher were the worst on the wall. Our son used to have better drawing skills and writing skills. It's almost like he's trying to copy this boy's skills. I know k. is realy just trying to get the kids used to going to school and learning to play well with others, but I feel like because of the parenting skills of his mom, my son is going backwards in his schooling : .

Aidan 8/11/99 Bryn 9/7/04 Jardin is here! 8/23/10 ~Kindness is My Religion~ Dalai Lama
bendmom is offline  
Old 02-08-2005, 11:20 PM
 
thismama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Nursing the revolution
Posts: 12,099
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would invite him over too if your ds likes him. Their friendship is probably based on different things than their parents' differences in lifestyle, so I wouldn't want to cut that off coz the kid's mom's a little whacked.

But I wouldn't send him over there again without going along, and if I didn't want to go along coz I'd have nothing to say to the mama I just wouldn't send him over if you can avoid it.
thismama is offline  
Old 02-09-2005, 02:53 AM
 
Marsupialmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 9,039
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would invite the child over but not let my child back over.

Honestly most people have no clue how them fries are cooked.
Marsupialmom is offline  
Old 02-09-2005, 03:40 AM
 
Greaseball's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Eugene, OR
Posts: 8,570
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Quote:
I want my son to play with the children who enjoy the things we do, and have the same healthy lifestyle. There are many children in his class who come from vegatarian families, work on school stuff at home, do arts and crafts at home, not just sit and watch tv all day. Why does he pick the kid who's family leads a totally opposite lifestyle?
Maybe he likes this boy and thinks he's a fun person. I understand wanting to like your child's friends, but isn't it more important that your child be happy with his friends? Maybe he just doesn't get along with the vegetarian crunchy kids.

It doesn't sound like this boy did anything to your child; it was his mother. Why not just invite the boy over but not let your child go back to that house?
Greaseball is offline  
Old 02-09-2005, 10:39 AM
 
mamaduck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 6,596
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What would bother me is that she took your child somewhere other than her home without telling you first. I myself have taken my kid's friends to mcd's on a wet or cold day so they could play and blow off steam and get an ice cream. But I *always* ask the kid's mother first!!! I figure she needs to know where we are! She needs to give permission for the food, the trip, and for riding in my car, KWIM?
mamaduck is offline  
Old 02-09-2005, 01:42 PM
 
CarrieMF's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Alberta/Saskatchewan
Posts: 8,864
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
We remember the whole deal about the beef fat in the fries too, didn't she?
Most likely, no she doesn't know about that. If eating beef isn't a problem for her(and what you've said on the rest of her lifestyle) she wouldn't have reason to be researching things like that.

With the drawings, talk to the teacher. There is a good chance he rushed it so they could go play together instead of taking time to do it neatly. See if the 2 of them sit together, perhaps you could see if she can gently alternate/change who the kids sit beside.

It sounds like they are 2 boys who like each others company. Different family lifestyles should not have input on who our children play with. I would rather my kids be accepting and friends with people of all lifestyles than only the one that we live by.
CarrieMF is offline  
Old 02-09-2005, 01:58 PM
 
LunaMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: orbiting the earth
Posts: 2,380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with those who said this is an issue with the mom, not the child. If your son likes this boy I would invite him over and observe how they play. Unless the other boy is inappropriate in some way, then it isn't fair to get in the way of your child's friendship. The mom used poor judgment when she took your child out without your permission, and probably is just ignorant about the food thing. I can understand not wanting to send your son to a home where there is a lot of smoking and cartoon-watching, which is why you should have the boy over to your house, or meet on neutral territory like the playground.

You have to accept that your son is going to come into contact with all types of families as he gets older, and that you can't control his environement as much as you did when he was a baby. It's good for kids to learn that everyone makes different choices.
LunaMom is offline  
Old 02-17-2005, 12:37 AM
 
KermitMissesJim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: With the lovers and the dreamers
Posts: 2,691
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
It sounds like they are 2 boys who like each others company. Different family lifestyles should not have input on who our children play with. I would rather my kids be accepting and friends with people of all lifestyles than only the one that we live by.


We are six: Me : Dh : Ds1('00) Dd('02) Ds2('05) Ds3('08) and, wow! Soon to be seven, Dd2 due 4/23.
KermitMissesJim is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off