Keep hope, Karen! I do believe the world provides what we need. We can’t always see how ahead of time, but amazing things do often materialize. You mentioned moving . . . have you considered moving closer to the school? It is not an option for us, and I still struggle with the cost to my dd of all the driving that will be involved when she starts going to school full time.
If Waldorf becomes your passion, you may want assist (for pay or at least a tuition break) at Tristan's school. I am hoping that might work out for me. You could even start exploring what that would take (training, reading, volunteering occasionally) now.
And then there is the homeschooling option. It is not my first choice (I don’t think I have the temperment for it, we are having only one child and we are fairly isolated, etc.), but it is an option. There are a few Waldorf-inspired curricula available if you choose to go that route. The Baltimore school may offer some support for that, too. And, as you said, financial aid is often available (40% of last year’s class at one Waldorf school I visited in Oregon received financial assistance).
The cost is high, no doubt about it. But the rewards are mighty, too. My dd composes the loveliest songs and stories and dances, about fairies and the seasons and nature. (We walked on the beach in the San Juan islands recently, and we found a dead baby porpoise. I have no idea how this came to her, but she knealt down and said a beautiful blessing. My husband and I were so touched! The next day, the porpoise was gone, and dd said that her blessing had caused it to come back to life and swim away.) The soul food that she receives, the reverence she feels and the magic that permeates her due to the experiences she is having now are irreplaceable.
Tristan is pretty young, so I bet you could wait until he’s two to start the program. At this point it might be more for you than for him! (Which is fine, of course. I was eager to meet other like-minded parents.)
I will also confess that our decision not to have another child was also supported by the logistics of dd’s schooling. I couldn’t subject a baby to all the driving we anticipate doing. But we had always planned on having only one (I just started to waffle a little when all my friends with kids dd’s age starting having their second.)
I also think it helps to keep perspective by knowing that Waldorf teachers earn very low pay, less than public school teachers. And in the grades, at least, they are required to do so much more!
Anyway, keep heart. I think things will work out for you and your family.