Kids are not allowed to use the bathroom when they need to - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 60 Old 08-08-2005, 07:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is ridiculous!!!

I’m so ticked off right now I hardly know how to control myself!

We hardly made it through the first day of school and already it is more ridiculous than last year! (And I thought that last year was the stupidest thing I ever encountered)

The bus driver seems totally incompetent behind the wheel. In the morning she had to ask for directions to find the school. In the afternoon she showed up at the school so late that both of my kids came home 30 minutes too late. Our youngest DD didn’t get home until a full hour after school let out. The school is 4 miles away from home on a straight road. (Both kids ride the same bus. One is in elem. school the other in middle) She was rude to the children on the bus and missed 2 stops on the way home and stopped where there was no bus stop to begin with. I will talk to the bus office tomorrow if this happens again. I will give her the benefit of doubt for now. She is new but apparently very badly trained.

When the kids finally came home they where full of new rules and regulations they where instructed on while at school. They come up with more and more rules each year.

The one that really po’s me is that the middle school has regulated bathroom breaks in a way that it totally goes against nature, body function and sanitary issues and their own advisories. DD is in 7th grade now. Today they found out that they are only allowed 2 bathroom brakes a week. Otherwise they need to wait until the scheduled break before and after lunch at 1pm. This means that they are not allowed to use the bathroom for 5 hours! They leave the house at 8am and don’t get back until 4pm. Besides the harmful effect it has on the body when normal body functions are being repressed it is totally unsanitary for a young girl that just starts her period. Now if the children use up their 2 passes a week and have to go they get “soared” (SOAR points is the disciplinary system they use on the children. They start of with 100 points and if the screw up (i. e. having to go to the bathroom) they get points taken away from them 5 at a time. Anyone who goes below 80 is prohibited to join in any school functions and the like. DD has never been in that boat but still I so don’t agree with the newest rule!

How can they say the parents need to make sure that the children eat a full breakfast (they never miss a beat to send this info to us in writing ) but not allow them to use the bathroom when they need to?!

I don’t even want to go into all the other ridiculous rules they have. I could write a book about it (They beat me to the punch there. They wrote a book about it and a thick one at that )

This school district prides it self with being the best in the area. If that is true I really don’t want to see the worst. They still have corporal punishment for crying out loud! And they did away with grades below a C. Anything below 70% is a failed grade. I better stop now before I lose my dinner over this.

How would you handle the bathroom issue? I really need some help here before I go an a rampage…


Cinnamon


Foot note: We are moving in January and only have to tough it out till December 16. But if I don't find a way to deal with this it will be a very long 5 months. :
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#2 of 60 Old 08-08-2005, 08:17 PM
 
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Do they have passing breaks between classes?

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#3 of 60 Old 08-08-2005, 08:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Apricot
Do they have passing breaks between classes?
No. They get just enough time to get to the lockers, grab their stuff for next class and race to the next class. And god forbid they don't get there quick enough. :
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#4 of 60 Old 08-08-2005, 08:34 PM
 
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That is so not right. I would attend a school board meeting and make a big deal outta it. I know the reason they r doing it to keep kids from running the halls all the time. What they should do is give a pass to go to the bathroom and if u r gone more than say 5min(not sure how far away the bathrooms r from class) and if they go past that then do the point thing. I would tell my children exactly what my dad told me. If I honestly and truly had to go to the bathroom and they wouldnt let me to just walk out of the room and he would deal with it. Better than what he did he had a teacher that wouldnt let him go so back then there were those big tall lockers in the back of the classroom and he got up went back there and did his bussiness.: of course the teacher was non to pleases with this and he called his dad in and his dad told the teacher than what he done was totally acceptable and if they did any thing to punish my dad they would answer to him. needless to say they never gave my dad any trouble over potty breaks after that. Acording to my dad they would even go so far as to ask him if he needed to go :

 
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#5 of 60 Old 08-08-2005, 08:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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MRDCatLvr

That is what DH said today. If they don't let you go or punish you just let your pants down in class :LOL I'm sure that would get their attention.

Can you imagine what it must feel like having your period and having to sit in it for hours because someone else wants to regulate your body functions?!

I'm beginning to understand why they don't allow them to drink anything besides during lunch. Makes a whole lotta sense here in the south...

What are they thinking?!
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#6 of 60 Old 08-08-2005, 09:07 PM
 
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This is absolutely ridiculous. When I went to middle school we had similar bathroom passes, but we only got to go 5 times a term! I think regulating bathroom usage at all is ridiculous. When a kids gotta go, a kids gotta go. I agree that it is especially unfair for girls who are just getting used to their periods. I would talk directly to the principle first and if you don't get any results, go to a school board meeting.

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#7 of 60 Old 08-08-2005, 09:12 PM
 
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i would make a big stink about it, but i would also get notes from your kids' doctors stating that for their health, they need to have unlimited access to the bathroom.
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#8 of 60 Old 08-09-2005, 10:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just got off the phone with the guidance counselor. She and I have been in touch through the last school year about various issues at school. She agrees that this rule is absolutely not healthy and we are now figuring out if they have the chance to use the bathrooms between classes or not. From what I know from last year that isn't the case since they are being rushed from class to class. If that is the case then I will get a doctors note and I will be sending some very clear letters to various people in the school and school district. Armed with some helpful information about the health dangers of "holding it in".

This will be dealt with one way or another.

I was told the reason behind this rule. They started it last year because the have found students in the bathrooms having sex or just meeting up with friends in the hallways. As much as I can understand that such behavior needs to be stopped I think they went about it in all the wrong ways.

Let's see what happens next...
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#9 of 60 Old 08-09-2005, 01:52 PM
 
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Interesting link: http://www.childadvocate.org/1b.htm. Talks about bathroom rights for kids.

Good luck.
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#10 of 60 Old 08-10-2005, 09:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is what I have been looking for! I couldn't find a good site when I looked for it. Thank you!

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#11 of 60 Old 08-10-2005, 10:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinnamon
This is ridiculous!!!

I’m so ticked off right now I hardly know how to control myself!

We hardly made it through the first day of school and already it is more ridiculous than last year! (And I thought that last year was the stupidest thing I ever encountered)

The bus driver seems totally incompetent behind the wheel. In the morning she had to ask for directions to find the school. In the afternoon she showed up at the school so late that both of my kids came home 30 minutes too late. Our youngest DD didn’t get home until a full hour after school let out. The school is 4 miles away from home on a straight road. (Both kids ride the same bus. One is in elem. school the other in middle) She was rude to the children on the bus and missed 2 stops on the way home and stopped where there was no bus stop to begin with. I will talk to the bus office tomorrow if this happens again. I will give her the benefit of doubt for now. She is new but apparently very badly trained.
Wow! School so early! Whatever happened to summer vacation???

At any rate, I'm a school bus driver, so I have to say that while your driver has probably been trained in how to drive a schoolbus, she probably was not trained on that specific route; she was probably given directions at the last minute and sent out to do it.

It is not easy to drive a 40' schoolbus, remember all the associated regulations that go along with that, read directions for an area that she's obviously unfamiliar with, and regulate the behavior of some 50 kids with your back turned to them!

If she was short with your kids, you might consider all that she had going on at the time and the pressure that she felt.

If she missed stops, I'm sure that she went back to them.

If she stopped somewhere that "isn't a stop," well, maybe it is a stop according to the route sheets that she was given by the school district.

I'm glad that you've decided to give her the benefit of the doubt; the first day of school has a lot of challenges. Your bus driver is just trying to do her job and if she gets your kids home safely... even if it's late... then she's done her job well.

Just my point of view...
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#12 of 60 Old 08-10-2005, 12:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Kymholly

I wish I could say your right. But we had the same thing happen here again yesterday. She wasn't short with the kids (and I'm not even talking about my kids here) she kept yelling at them.

I can understand that it isn't easy to drive a school bus. But do you really believe that she had her act together if she had to stop the bus on a busy road and ask for directions to the school?

If this would have been the only time there where problems with this bus office I wouldn't be so ticked off about it. But it's not the first time. We have had huge issues with them not knowing where to stop or even forgetting to pick the kids up from school and home all together since we have lived here.

It is a big mess and all we hear from the responsible parties is "We don't have enough people" Well that excuse doesn't really fix the problem with the people they do have driving the busses.
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#13 of 60 Old 08-10-2005, 04:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Cinnamon
This is what I have been looking for! I couldn't find a good site when I looked for it. Thank you!

Glad to help! I'm sorry you have to deal with this. And I am sorry my previous post was a bit abrupt, I was naking and I wanted to make sure I gave you that link ASAP!
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#14 of 60 Old 08-10-2005, 05:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Kari mom

NO PROBLEM! :LOL

I'm facing a whole other problem right now. We just spend over an hour trying to pick up the kids. And we saw first hand what chaos plays out with the school busses. I'm still in shock. Have NEVER seen anything like this!

At the time that the kids where supposed to be home the bus hasn't even been at the school yet!

We have a lot of very angry parents in this neigborhood right now...
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#15 of 60 Old 08-11-2005, 02:01 AM
 
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sounds like a terrible begginging to the school year.
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#16 of 60 Old 08-11-2005, 02:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse
i would make a big stink about it, but i would also get notes from your kids' doctors stating that for their health, they need to have unlimited access to the bathroom.
In most schools I have worked at as a teacher, this is the only effective thing to do!

As a teacher, I let students go one at a time so they would not play around in the bathroom together. I knew after a month who would go to get out of class and who really needed to go....most parents would tell me if there was a problem...

I know...that is why I homeschooled my own.

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#17 of 60 Old 08-11-2005, 03:10 AM
 
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Growing up, my mom brought in a note from the doctor for me and I was allowed to get up and go whenever I wanted. The teachers all thought I had a medical ailment, but oh well. Then we changed school districts and my mom must have forgotten to get the doctors note because a teacher wouldn't let my little sister use the bathroom and she peed her pants. My mom flipped and it never happened again.

I'd like to add that I think it's great that you're standing up for your kids. When I was a kid it made me feel really special when my mom got all riled up on my behalf :-).
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#18 of 60 Old 08-11-2005, 03:21 AM
 
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In the LAUSD, the janitors often will clean the bathrooms and then lock them so they do not have to clean them again...

They are often vandalized.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#19 of 60 Old 08-11-2005, 06:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MRDCatLvr
I would tell my children exactly what my dad told me. If I honestly and truly had to go to the bathroom and they wouldnt let me to just walk out of the room and he would deal with it.
If you decide to do this, and I'm not saying its a bad idea, please be sure that your dd will not be subjected to corporal punishment. You have probably already adressed this, but it is a huge issue for me so I feel obligated to mention it.
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#20 of 60 Old 08-12-2005, 10:36 AM
 
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Ugh. I have memories of this. I swear, some teachers get some kind of a power thing over restricting bathroom use. It has always creeped me out that someone else can tell you when you can and cannot go. I always had the odd teacher that would tell us to just grab the pass but most made you ask and would say no.

ITA with making a stink about it. No pun intended, ha ha.

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#21 of 60 Old 08-12-2005, 11:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by applejuice
I knew after a month who would go to get out of class and who really needed to go....most parents would tell me if there was a problem...

I wish they would at least take the time to find out what kids want to play around and what kids just have to go to the bathroom.

We will opt for the docs note. It seems to be the only way to deal with it.
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#22 of 60 Old 08-12-2005, 11:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Wilhemina
If you decide to do this, and I'm not saying its a bad idea, please be sure that your dd will not be subjected to corporal punishment. You have probably already adressed this, but it is a huge issue for me so I feel obligated to mention it.
No we will not decide on this. I don't even want to think about what they would do to her
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#23 of 60 Old 08-12-2005, 11:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Sheena
I swear, some teachers get some kind of a power thing over restricting bathroom use. It has always creeped me out that someone else can tell you when you can and cannot go.
That is what gets me the most. And I found out that it didn't come from the principal but from the team teachers. :
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#24 of 60 Old 08-12-2005, 12:54 PM
 
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That makes me so sad and so furious for those children. I can't imagine their pain and frustration over being controlled in such a ridiculous way.
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#25 of 60 Old 08-12-2005, 05:23 PM
 
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Wow, your school district sounds even worse than ours! I hope that the dr's note works. Is homeschooling until you move an option if this keeps up?

We ran into restricted bathroom usage last year w/ dd who was in first grade at the time. The kids supposedly had unlimited access to the bathroom, but the teacher made them go get a pass, write their first and last name on it, get the hole punch and punch out one of the little icons on the pass and then wait until the teacher was ready to by interupted and get her to sign the pass, too before they could take the pass and leave to head for the bathroom. Dd did wind up wetting her pants once in class b/c she didn't get through the whole process before she couldn't hold it any longer.

I generally find that people in power who are small minded and controlling about things like the bathroom are generally giving us a good glimpse of their overall nature and how they treat those over whom they have power. We had many, many issues with this same teacher last year and did wind up removing dd from the school after spring break b/c she just couldn't take it any more. I would be out for blood if someone laid a finger on my child. The idea of corporal punishment just makes my blood boil! That should be universally illegal in schools.
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#26 of 60 Old 08-12-2005, 06:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Cinnamon
The one that really po’s me is that the middle school has regulated bathroom breaks in a way that it totally goes against nature, body function and sanitary issues and their own advisories. DD is in 7th grade now. Today they found out that they are only allowed 2 bathroom brakes a week. Otherwise they need to wait until the scheduled break before and after lunch at 1pm. This means that they are not allowed to use the bathroom for 5 hours! They leave the house at 8am and don’t get back until 4pm. Besides the harmful effect it has on the body when normal body functions are being repressed it is totally unsanitary for a young girl that just starts her period.
When our middle school starts this year we will have the same rule, HOWEVER - our kids get 4 minutes between classes and almost all their classes are grouped together in the same hall except their arts/pe classes. We used to have a 13 passes per quarter (9 weeks), but some kids used up their passes w/i the first few weeks, and were left pass-less for the remainder of the time, which caused problems for all (now they get 18+ passes per quarter) I am a bit nervous about the rule as far as periods go, but on the other hand I have had students "meet up" with students from another class at a specific time in the bathroom, and it is a saftey hazard. The kids that are in the bathroom are unsupervised, and I know of a few instances where a boy was in the girls bathroom, and visa versa. I do give girls an "emergency pass" if it is necissary, and have not had anyone abuse this.

I do agree that your dc should have more than 2 passes per week if they only have breaks before and after lunch and their class are far away. I think the doctor's note is a good idea too, because I have found that when the child sees how much effort a parent has put into getting them an exception, they are not as likely to abuse the privlege,and if they do the parents usually follow through about letting the child know that it was WRONG. I do think there needs to be restrictions on bathroom use in the upper grades because there are so many "incidents" that occur in bathrooms in the middle and upper grades - yes, another reason to homeschool!

GL, and I hope the bus situation gets corrected quickly.
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#27 of 60 Old 08-12-2005, 07:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by ChristaN
I generally find that people in power who are small minded and controlling about things like the bathroom are generally giving us a good glimpse of their overall nature and how they treat those over whom they have power. We had many, many issues with this same teacher last year and did wind up removing dd from the school after spring break b/c she just couldn't take it any more. I would be out for blood if someone laid a finger on my child. The idea of corporal punishment just makes my blood boil! That should be universally illegal in schools.
I agree and I totally agree with the last 2 sentences! I still feel the rage I felt a year ago, when we found out about this.

We are counting down the months. December 16 is the last day for us here.

I think it's disgusting that children have to be humilitated in front of the class by wetting themselves before somethings change. That is so degrading!
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#28 of 60 Old 08-12-2005, 07:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by arismomkoofie
...there are so many "incidents" that occur in bathrooms in the middle and upper grades...

True. At first the counselor didn't say anything but during the course of the conversation she came out with what the reason was. Like I said before I understand that this has to be stopped but I believe they went about it the wrong way.

The bus thing is still a headache and has brought out a lot of ticked off parents in the neighborhood. Our bus seems to be the only one with this huge problem. We are working on it.
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#29 of 60 Old 08-12-2005, 09:59 PM
 
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In the high school in our town the bathrooms are locked and kids have to beg for a key to go! When I was in H.S. we just got to go. I hope things work out for you!
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#30 of 60 Old 08-13-2005, 01:39 AM
 
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I know for a fact that many teachers themselves suffer from bladder, bowel, and kidney problems due to "waiting" excessively long times...

...as a substitute teacher, many times I was called in the middle of the day to stand in for a teacher who had an "emergency" to take care of at the doctor's office...

That may explain alot of reasons why some teachers are so crabby...!

Does explain some of the problems with the administrations...'the fish stinks from the head down' or something like that...

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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