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#1 of 8 Old 04-05-2006, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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dd passed the kindergarten cut off by 26 days. She's very verbal and outgoing and I decided to send her with a slight concern of her academic ability (preschool was very low on academic, which was perfect for dd, and the school system wasn't that great). We moved the summer before K to a "great" (very academic) school system.
dd has struggled through most of it. I just had her parent/teacher meeting and dd is doing very well in half the requirements and rock bottom in the other half.
The teacher suggests working extra hard these last 2 months and getting lots of help in the summer. I would rather do another year of K, I considered this year a "practice" year (Dh didn't, or just assumed she would do fine) Dh also blames me for her lack of ability.

ex of dd skills
can count by 5's and 10's but only after she's told the first 2 numbers in the sequence
can't say ABC's in order, though recognizes all caps and lower.
can't say # 1-30, 13 throws her off, so can do 1-12 and 14-100
can pick out begining and ending constants "zebra starts with z"
can't answer "what does a z sound like?"

What do you think?

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
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#2 of 8 Old 04-05-2006, 05:46 PM
 
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Why don't you teach her yourself informally over the summer and she how she does? It really takes very little effort to get a 5 or 6 year old who is ready to read. I am currently teaching my 6 year old so that he can read by 1st grade -- he isn't taught reading in his play-based kindergarten -- and he is making rapid progress, I think he will easily be a fluent reader by the end of the summer. I am personally going with the traditional phonics approach which is working for us, but there are other methods. Do rhyming word games in the car, sing the alphabet song, play I Spy, read together. As for math again, make it into a game, also. Encourage her to play with manipulatives.

Having said, that if you truly don't think she is ready for the rigors of an academic first grade and feel it will have a negative effect on her emotionally, I would hold her back. It is a bit unfair of your DH to blame you. It certainly isn't your fault. I don't think it is anyone's fault, it is what it is. Did your DH attend the parent/teacher conference and get that impression for your DD teacher?

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#3 of 8 Old 04-05-2006, 06:23 PM
 
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I am wondering why your dh blames you.Has HE done any schooling with his dd? Does he realise what is taught in K was the curriculum for 1st grade?

I think your dd is doing fine,but unfortunately she must meet the goals the school sets. Just work with her and encourage her.Get some cd-roms from the library on reading and phonics(games).
Things will click for her when she is ready.

I tried to teach my dd rhyming,but until it clicked in her mind I was wasting my effort.Same thing with reading. Do what you feel is best.Just make sure your dh doesn't make his disapproval known.If he does your dd might start thinking she is not smart enough,and no child deserves that.She will learn.Look at how much she already does know!Best wishes!
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#4 of 8 Old 04-05-2006, 06:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been working on reading skills with dd since she was a toddler. She's never been amazing, but a steady "normal". I've found that no matter how much or little I try dd just picks things up when she's ready. She get angry when pushed to much. Teacher reported that when the class does group reading together dd will push the book away in frustration.
Dh truly blames me and dd does pick up on it. Her response is to blame me for her lacking skills. dd even blamed me for letting her co-sleep and said I should have trained her to sleep by herself. Hmm, see a pattern of blame and I'm seeing Dh as the root

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
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#5 of 8 Old 04-05-2006, 06:58 PM
 
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It sounds like you have been doing everything "right". You can't push a child into learning if they aren't ready, it will only create frustrations all round, as you have experienced. I don't know what advice to give you concerning your DH, but do you have any other options for schooling for your DD: a different school, even homeschooling? How is she in class, is she happy, does she act out at all, besides not wanting to do group reading? Does she go willingly every morning?

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#6 of 8 Old 04-05-2006, 07:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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dd is very happy with school. Has never not wanted to go and is sad if she's sick and can't go. Teacher reports wonderful behavior. She's never had separation issues and loves new things, people, and places. The reading anger has just recently started though before this dd has mentioned that she had a friend help her with her work. I think dd is one of the slowest and as they sit at group tables her neighbours are more than willing to help.
I've mentioned about doing another year of K to her, as I said I went into this very open with dd that she might need another year. ss is a late summer bd with most of the class a fall/early winter. dd is noticeable shorter than most. dd doesn't want to do another year of K. I'm not sure of all the reasons. I'm sure she doesn't want to "loose" her friends. dd has been very happy go lucky that this is the first thing she has truly wanted to do but can't.
I'm looking into other schools but nothing really outstanding is out there. She's in public 1/2 day K. dd and I butt heads alot I don't think HS is for us. I'm good with unschooling, as we do very educational stuff but I think dd needs some professional help with some things. She will be seeing a reading specialist once a week with 8 classmates. I'm hoping that will shed some light on her specific issues.

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
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#7 of 8 Old 04-05-2006, 08:08 PM
 
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The thing that's hard about reading is that it's totally developmental. Like running--it's hard to teach when a child's not ready but easy to teach when a child is.

I think the reading specialist is a great idea if only to see if your dd is developmentally ready. If the specialist thinks she is, I think it would be good to work informally with her this summer; many libraries have "reading programs" designed to keep kids reading through the summer. Maybe yours has one as well. Also, read read read to her; nothing "teaches" reading better than being read to.

But if the reading specialist says that your dd just isn't ready developmentally, you might consider holding her back, assuming you and dh can get on the same page with that. What's hard is that your dd is getting upset about the fact that she isn't reading and it has the potential to make her school experience an unhappy one, at least temporarily.

Good luck! It is a hard one....

Jen, former attorney and now SAHM to 11 yo ds and 8 yo ds

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#8 of 8 Old 04-05-2006, 08:46 PM
 
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Wow! I think that's a lot to ask of a kindergartener! I teach 2nd grade and that sounds like a lot of the skills they work on in first grade. I would have to agree with you about giving her an extra year in kindergarten rather than cramming it all in in two months and over the summer, especially since she's young. That's not to say I don't think you should work with her over the summer... just make it fun & applicable to real life-- counting stairs as you go up and down; talk about the sounds in her name; counting rocks she found on a scavenger hunt, etc.
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