Joan, I think the US system does differ in a lot of ways. In the UK, it is extremely rare, almost unheard of, for a child to drop back a year. There is no concept of 'failing' a grade or year.
There are National Curriculum target levels which children are supposed to reach, but not all. It is a percentage target, which the government keep altering, but it's somewhere in the region of 85% of children should reach National Curriculum Level 4 by the end of Year 6 (fifth grade). Some reach Level 5, some only Level 3, some not Level 3.
If a child has significant difficulties they have to be put on the Special Needs register at the school, which means that the school has to work with the parents to provide an individual programme to help the child. The word 'remedial' hasn't been used in years. Part of inspections by OFSTED, the national inspectors, is to study the provision for these children. (Ofsted has many faults and is not liked by most of the profession, but it does ensure that there is some sort of accountability for these children getting provision). Furthermore, schools get some funding according to the number of children with these needs, although of course it is never enough.
It is hard now for teachers to be creative in the way that they teach, whether maths or any other subject, but it is not impossible.
Larsy, I think you are right that people are put off maths by it being forced on them, but I think that the issue is not what is 'taught' (I know you dislike that word) but how it is taught. I think that a child's natural curiosity leads him or her to explore 'real maths' from birth. If a teacher is creative, she can work most aspects of the curriculum to be relevant and creative. A workshop approach to maths can deliver the same curriculum as rote learning, but is meaningful and can lead to real learning, not just of maths facts, but also of problem solving, which in my opinion is of greatest importance.
I think it is simplistic to always blame everything on children being forced to do things that are against their will. I'm still interested in thinking about what exactly it is about maths that leads people to be turned off so easily - is it perhaps the idea that there are right and wrong answers, and nothing in between?
Of course, you can leave children to discover things for themselves, for as long as it takes. I've been through that school of thought in education in the 80s, but never fully bought into it. Or you can facilitate learning by enriching their world with suggestions and ideas, and be a partner in their learning. I think that a 'teacher's' role, or a facilitator, or whatever you want to call a teacher, is to help lead the child on to further discovery.