Sudden separation anxiety, seemingly out of nowhere? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 09-30-2006, 09:44 AM - Thread Starter
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My daughter just started second grade this year. She has never, and I mean NEVER, had any separartion anxiety whatsoever, even when she was a toddler. She has never been afraid of new situations and usually jumps into every new experience with both feet and a smile on her face. She has adjusted to every single schooling change with no problem at all.

About two weeks into the school year, she suddenly began to develop separation anxiety. At first I didn't even know what it was - she just seemed moody and upset a lot of the time. Then she finally said that she misses me when she is at school and it makes it hard for her to concentrate and do her work. Of course, I wondered if something in school was upsetting her, but she says that she likes school and her teacher, and she has lots of friends in her class, and in fact, once she gets involved in stuff at school, or even just in chatting with a friend on the bus, she feels fine. But there have been times when she cries in the morning as the time for the bus comes closer, or even on Sunday nights when she starts thinking about the next morning's departure. DH and I believe her when she tells us nothing on the bus or at school is upsetting her. She just keeps saying she misses me. And all the feedback from the teacher is positive, so clearly she is paying attention and doing her best work in school, and she seems excited about everything they are learning this year.

I made us matching beaded bracelets and that seems to help, and the whole thing seems to be improving a little, but I cannot figure out what is going on. There have been no major issues going on at home that would suddenly make her feel insecure - you know, no divorce or death of a pet or relative, we aren't moving or having a baby or anything like that. She just seems to have a lot of anxiety lately in general, because in addition to this, she also gets uypset so easily over tiny little things.

What's going on with my daughter? I hate to see her unhappy so much of the time when she's usually such a cheerful kid!
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#2 of 5 Old 10-03-2006, 08:17 PM - Thread Starter
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#3 of 5 Old 10-03-2006, 08:20 PM
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I read and didn't want to not respond -- but I just don't have any advice! I'm sorry she's going through this. The bracelets sound like a great idea.

Maybe this weekend, you could take her out for some kind of mother/daughter treat? It's not a cure-all or anything, but it might make both of you feel a little better while you go through a tough time.
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#4 of 5 Old 10-03-2006, 09:07 PM
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I also have a second grade daughter who has not had seperation anxiety in the past but is showing some of the same things your daughter is. She also says she misses me when she is in school and seems to be more anxious than usual. She also says she likes school and is doing well. I was thinking that part of it in our case was the news lately--I didn't realize she was reading, and comprehending, the items scrolling along the bottom of the screen until it was too late (she read about the Bailey school shooting which is about 15 miles down the road from us) but it did start earlier than last week.

Reading your post I'm starting to think it could be something about the age...

I really like your bracelet idea. I also like the idea to spend some special time with her-- my daughter did say just an hour ago that it seems like we never have any just the two of time anymore.
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#5 of 5 Old 10-05-2006, 02:37 PM
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this is probably no help at all, but when I was little I cried every single day that my mom dropped me off at kindergarten. I know it's not 2nd grade, but it sounds similar. I will never forget (plus my parents will never let me forget). I used to scream and cry and I told my mom that I was going to miss her. I would hold on to the car door and scream and beg my mom to let me back into the car. I did this EVERY day. The despair I felt was real, and I was not trying to put one over on her, but I was REALLY going to miss her, and I was terrified I would never see her again. I really liked kindergarten and I had friends, and I was sooooooooooo embarrassed every day. After my mom left, I would TRY so hard to stop crying and look normal by the time I walked down the hallway to the class. My parents were so frustrated with (because it was literally every day) me they would end up yelling at me. Even their yelling and threats of getting in trouble didn't help.
I don't know if that helps any, but I grew up to a normal, friendly, and well-adjusted.
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