would you send your caucasian child to an all african american school? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: would you send your caucasian child to the school described below?
Yes. 92 27.54%
No. 137 41.02%
Maybe/ not sure. 90 26.95%
Other. 15 4.49%
Voters: 334. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-02-2007, 07:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by gethane View Post
Except, change often starts with one person. If NO one ever steps outside their comfort zone, then change just doesn't happen.

I'm not saying sacrifice your children on an idealistic political altar, but there must be a middle ground somewhere here.


Thats what I was babbling about before....learning where to draw my own line? I cant say I could at this point reach any conclusion....

BTW totally OT but I miss your dipes STILL and LOVE your "5"..... :
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Old 07-02-2007, 07:59 PM
 
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BTW totally OT but I miss your dipes STILL and LOVE your "5"..... :
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Old 07-02-2007, 08:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am NOT trying to say that race causes these problems - only that these areas tend to be poor and have social problems, which have a whole slew of other social factors contributing to it all.

I don't want to hijack the thread but, it might be helpful to look at all of the surrounding issues instead of coming to the conclusion that it's all about race. It's not. And it's not just poverty, but also lack of jobs (due to Deindustrialization)... drug use... lack of social support networks (no health care, no affordable housing, no child care)... institutionalized racism (AA's not getting jobs because the White employers won't hire them)...

What I'm trying to get at is that people have the conception that AA schools are impoverished and filled with behavior problems because generally, statistically, they are.
I know I've already said this a lot, but I stated upfront that this school in question has excellently behaved students. This is why I am surprised the thread took a turn towards the statistics you cite since the poll is about the school "described below."

I would not expect anyone to send their child to a school with serious behavioral problems and I think homeschool would be better any day than having to go to a rough school.

As far as the social isolation-- yes I am worried about this-- but I think it places little faith in the AA kids to assume they will poorly treat or ostracize my child. I think generally reverse racism is less common than "regular" racism though certainly reverse racism does exist.

Another concern I have is that my children might experience reverse racism from the faculty, i.e. they will worry about it looking like they are favoring the white children so they might always put them second. But I am only slightly concerned about this.
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Old 07-02-2007, 08:57 PM
 
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The staff is all white, btw.
This concerns me far more than the idea of a white child being the only white student in the school. How do you have a school that is at least 99% black and have no. black. teachers. As the parent of children of color, that would make me hesitate more than anything else.
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Old 07-02-2007, 09:01 PM
 
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This concerns me far more than the idea of a white child being the only white student in the school. How do you have a school that is at least 99% black and have no. black. teachers. As the parent of children of color, that would make me hesitate more than anything else.
I missed that but you're right. I wonder how/why that happened?

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Old 07-02-2007, 09:25 PM
 
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I missed that but you're right. I wonder how/why that happened?
Oooh I missed that too....thats another issue in itself IMO....
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Old 07-02-2007, 09:41 PM
 
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It's not likely to change anything. I don't have a problem with people making choices based on what they think is best for their children or their lives. I do have a problem with people responding as if being in a school that is largely black and acting as if it a sentence of death. I want the best for my child too but I won't avoid situations because of the racial make-up. I don't think that all black automatically=all bad. I might not be addressing the op's question but some of the responses were pretty insensitive.
Yes ITA that some of the responses were definitely insensitive. I hope mine was not among them. For me, if my child would be socially accepted, I would be very happy to put them in a school where they were the only white student.

I think we also got race and class issues convoluted.
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Old 07-02-2007, 10:49 PM
 
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In these cases, alot of people cannot see the difference between race and class. Black=poor (Albeit if wealthy one parent MUST'VE worked there way up out the hood or played pro sports). White=money. Somewhere there MUST be money. And power.

I had a chance to possibly buy and move to a completely renovated home (well possibly) recently. A yard, hardwood floors, garage BUT it is in a city that is known for several things:

1) poorest in the nation

2) most violent

3) EXTREMELY corrupt government

Yeah, even 20/20 did an hour long special on it. And it is just 10 minutes from the suburban middle class neighborhhod we are trapped in now. Which I admit, has awesome schools. But this neighborhood IS on the up and up and I wanted in. Unfortunately, I would not send my kids to the schools there. Corrupt. I know a few who teach there and they have little hope left. With 2 kids in special ed and no money for private school and homeschooling no option-I had to stay WHERE I HATE, based on schools ALONE. And I wanted the home-BAD. No doubt in 10 years it'll be a "good" neighborhood too. But race was never an issue.
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Old 07-02-2007, 11:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This concerns me far more than the idea of a white child being the only white student in the school. How do you have a school that is at least 99% black and have no. black. teachers. As the parent of children of color, that would make me hesitate more than anything else.
I know, I found that very strange! I didn't see every teacher but the ones I saw were white.
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Old 07-03-2007, 10:46 AM
 
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I would not here because the racism is so bad that I would expect my daughters to be bullied beyond belief. Also, as a girl, I would fear for her in other ways. It doesn't matter how caring the teachers are when the students, while maybe not behaviorally bad, would not be caring towards my children.
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:00 AM
 
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"One day a couple of upper class looking white kids showed up in our yard. It was the oddest sight and I had no idea where they had come from. Anyway, my son was overjubilant toward them as he is with everyone else, trying to convince them to join some imaginative game. They looked at him with such disdain. It was as if they didn't know how to just "play". I imagined them so used to so many "things" that they couldn't get it. "

Okay this cracks me up. Were the kids carrying little louis vuitton bags, and talking on their new I-phones? What marked them as "upper-class"? And would you have assumed they were "upper-class" if they had been black and dressed the same way?

Maybe they were shy and found your son's "overjubilance" to be "overwhelming".
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:06 AM
 
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Also, as a girl, I would fear for her in other ways.
: Please explain. I really hope I am reading into this comment too much or misinterpretting it.
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:09 AM
 
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I wouldn't send my kids there. Academic excellence is my main criteria for my dds' school. It is also important to me that there be a significant Asian population, as my children are Chinese, and it is important to me that they have other Asian kids in school with them.
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:18 AM
 
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: Please explain. I really hope I am reading into this comment too much or misinterpretting it.

Yes, well, look at her location.

(See! I can stereotype too!)
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:19 AM
 
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I want to say again I made the MISTAKE of making diversity too high of a priority when choosing schools for DD. What I learned is if the school is not diverse, we can search for that elsewhere. Lack of diversity does not equal a bad school for a child (including one in a minority "group" at the school), just as diversity does not mean the school is good, open-minded, less racist, etc. Trust me. Having kids of the same race/culture/religion in a class/school does not automatically make it the best place for a child either!

We can find diversity in outside groups, activities, etc. if needed.
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:25 AM
 
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I would not here because the racism is so bad that I would expect my daughters to be bullied beyond belief. Also, as a girl, I would fear for her in other ways. It doesn't matter how caring the teachers are when the students, while maybe not behaviorally bad, would not be caring towards my children.
I have been reading this thread without making any comments. I can't get into discussions about race on MDC but this comment by you, mpeel, has got to be one of the most disgusting things I have ever read on MDC by far. Bullying happens everywhere by all people not just people of color. And exactly what do you fear for because your child is a girl? Those animalistic Black people not being able to control themselves from pouncing when they see your lily White child? And why, please explain to me why, you would automatically assume that because people (PEOPLE) are Black, they would not be caring towards your children?

Purplegirl and Menudo, thank you for your comments.

FWIW, I love children--ALL children and I firmly believe that children learn best from modeling. If there is a real school community and all the adults in that community are modeling love, kindness, acceptance, a willingness to really learn about others, and genuine respect for all people and backgrounds . . . well, that is what the children learn and the proportion of white to black to latino to Asian starts to take a back seat to the fact that we are shockingly all PEOPLE.

Stay-at-home mom to 2 beautiful.busy.boisterous boys b. 08.17.05 & 12.29.08
Nirvana is . . . the living happiness of a soul which is conscious of itself and conscious of having found its own abode in the heart of the Eternal. --Gandhi
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:26 AM
 
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I would not here because the racism is so bad that I would expect my daughters to be bullied beyond belief. Also, as a girl, I would fear for her in other ways. It doesn't matter how caring the teachers are when the students, while maybe not behaviorally bad, would not be caring towards my children.
Everytime I think I'm done posting in the thread, something else comes up. Please explain, if you don't mind. This way of thnking (in 2007) is really unbelievable-or am I just naive?
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:33 AM
 
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FWIW, I love children--ALL children and I firmly believe that children learn best from modeling. If there is a real school community and all the adults in that community are modeling love, kindness, acceptance, a willingness to really learn about others, and genuine respect for all people and backgrounds . . . well, that is what the children learn and the proportion of white to black to latino to Asian starts to take a back seat to the fact that we are shockingly all PEOPLE.
Thank you for this post. Well said....it has helped me in this moment see where I draw my own line in this sort of situation.


I will say also in a genuine question-how can an all white staff cultivate an environment of true learning when it comes to culture, differences etc of there is no true example shown? It cant ALWAYS be beneficial for white people to teach about liberation in Mexico or slavery in ths South.....maybe I am wrong....I really wanna find a ground and stand on it about this.
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:37 AM
 
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I would not here because the racism is so bad that I would expect my daughters to be bullied beyond belief. Also, as a girl, I would fear for her in other ways. It doesn't matter how caring the teachers are when the students, while maybe not behaviorally bad, would not be caring towards my children.
What the..........:

I really hope that you come back and explain this.

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Old 07-03-2007, 11:38 AM
 
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. Also, as a girl, I would fear for her in other ways.
Oh, my. I'm sorry you have such a low opinion of African american boys. I really wish there were some way to end this "black boys want to rape our white daughters" crap, but that would require people to stop being racist, which apparently is impossible.
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:38 AM
 
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I would not here because the racism is so bad that I would expect my daughters to be bullied beyond belief. Also, as a girl, I would fear for her in other ways. It doesn't matter how caring the teachers are when the students, while maybe not behaviorally bad, would not be caring towards my children.
I can't even separate my emotions about this. I am angry, disgusted, saddened...beyond anything you could possibly imagine. You actually think this??? You could wrap your brain around those words and believe them so strongly that you could actually type them out??? I hope to God that my boys never encounter this level of ignorance and bigotry, where they are reduced to some primitive creature to be feared. Unfortunately, if someone is capable of expressing that thought, of "verbalizing" it, knowing POC are reading, I have little doubt that all we can do is prepare as best as we can for that kind of ugliness.
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:43 AM
 
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Yes, well, look at her location.

(See! I can stereotype too!)
I could match her nastiness by criticizing her inability to write properly, but I won't do that because I have way too much class for that.

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Old 07-03-2007, 11:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Also, as a girl, I would fear for her in other ways.
Okay... when I read this I thought "No, no, she doesn't mean that..." but I guess she did???

I fear for my girls being around boys in general. I would prefer an all girls school. But to be specifically afraid of AA boys????! Let me tell you I was molested and assaulted by a *white* boy. If anything the AA boys I encountered were more chivalrous and respectful toward me.

If you think white males are any "safer" than AA males, just google "serial killers."
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:51 AM
 
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Oh, my. I'm sorry you have such a low opinion of African american boys. I really wish there were some way to end this "black boys want to rape our white daughters" crap, but that would require people to stop being racist, which apparently is impossible.
I have been biting my tongue, this is what I was thinking but said in a much nicer way. I mean, what should one do if EVEN WORSE, their daughter likes the school and ends up with a black boyfriend. The horrors! My sadness and anger cannot be put into words. Well they could but I believe it would be a MAJOR UA violation.

Nikki-DD was in a class last year that was almost all white. One child was "black" and no matter what DD was assumed and classified as "white" (again we are quite a mix but technically she would be latina on Dad's side and white on my side, except DH is very dark brown skin and assumed black). So when talking about MLK and desegregation to the 3rd grade, white teacher says all kids kept looking at black kid. Teacher, thinking she is helping and trying to take pressure off the little boy says "We would not have (insert black childs name here) or (insert DD name here) in our class if not for MLK." : Let's disect:

We=us white people are "allowing" non white people in OUR school.

Boy=different than US.

DD=this is where it gets fishy. She was unsure of DD ethnicity/race but had seen DH. She called out DD who then had kids ARGUING about her race. Kids who had not thought much of race prior. They told her and the teacher DD is white. It got very uncomfortable for DD, to say the least!

I broke this down to the teacher, who truly was just a clueless privileged white woman. She had good intentions but was so off base! I explained what she did, wording, etc. I hope she truly learned from my breakdown of how bad she screwed up!
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:55 AM
 
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"I will say also in a genuine question-how can an all white staff cultivate an environment of true learning when it comes to culture, differences etc of there is no true example shown? It cant ALWAYS be beneficial for white people to teach about liberation in Mexico or slavery in ths South.....maybe I am wrong....I really wanna find a ground and stand on it about this."

So only the Jews can teach about the Holocaust

And only someone of French heritage can teach French history

And only someone who is of German heritage can sing Wagner

And only someone who is of English heritage can teach Dickens and Shakespeare.

I find that ridiculous. A good history teacher should be able to teach facts, and then express the different points of view major historians have about those facts. While I agree it is useful to have a diverse faculty for purposes of role-modeling, I do not feel it is necessary from the perspective of "only an African American has the right to teach/can "really" teach the history of the civil rights movement."
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Old 07-03-2007, 12:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I will say also in a genuine question-how can an all white staff cultivate an environment of true learning when it comes to culture, differences etc of there is no true example shown? It cant ALWAYS be beneficial for white people to teach about liberation in Mexico or slavery in ths South.....maybe I am wrong....I really wanna find a ground and stand on it about this.
I think it's wrong to assume whites can't teach AAs or to assume that an AA student's only place of learning will be the classroom. Anyway in those situations the students might teach the teacher with their opinions and views. Learning can go both ways in the classroom.

Anyway, the fact that AA parents are choosing to send their children to this school (since it's a private school, not a zoned public school) makes me think the staff must be acceptable to them on some level. There is a Haitian contingent in the school, maybe their expectations are different from the AA contingent, but I have no idea, really, and hate to generalize. But maybe Haitians have different feelings about whites in this country since they don't descend from a legacy of US slavery, and thus there is less tension about having a white person teach their child.
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Old 07-03-2007, 12:04 PM
 
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If I am correct, the ideal is a diverse staff. Sadly, many kids of color are conditioned to think only white people can be teachers, teach, or be in power when they go to schools where the faculty is all white and the students are not. Having role models from all over the world, of all colors, of all walks of life is a benefit to children. It opens their eyes to THEIR own possibilites, the fact THEY can do it, ANYBODY can do it! Not JUST white people.
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Old 07-03-2007, 12:08 PM
 
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This concerns me far more than the idea of a white child being the only white student in the school. How do you have a school that is at least 99% black and have no. black. teachers. As the parent of children of color, that would make me hesitate more than anything else.
:

That is strange. This is a public school, right?

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Old 07-03-2007, 12:12 PM
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If you (generic you) are so fired up about changing the system, then intentionally move to a school zone with an awful reputation and get in there and fight. Or devote time and energy to lobbying for a less racist and economically injust school system.

I think I will.......
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Old 07-03-2007, 12:23 PM
 
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My preference for my kid would be a fairly equal distribution of kids of all flavors . . . some black, some white, and a sprinkling from around the globe . . . some rich, some poor and some in between . . . some more academically advanced, some needing more help . . . some who like sports, and art, and music, and nature. Maybe even one or two Republicans just for diversity's sake. I'd like him to have all kinds of influences. And I'd like for him to feel like he belongs, wherever that may be.

I used to teach in a school that was 99% black kids. The white art teacher put her white kid in Pre-K there. One day the little boy painted his entire face with a black marker so he could fit in. Don't think kids don't know if they're different.
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