I went into this process thinking that a school environment would be good for my son, that putting him in another family day care where there might not be anyone his age would be lonely and boring, and that I really wanted a place where he could stay for a few years. I guess I was just struck by how different it was from where he is now and how many adjustments he would have to go through (losing old friends, dcp, new big classroom, school routines, moving between multiple environments during the day, new teachers, 20 new classmates, etc.) The last time we went through a daycare adjustment he was 7 weeks old and was pretty oblivous to the change of scene. In a way, he hasn't been left with strangers since then. We have never hired a babysitter beyond dcp, and there has never been a situation (beyond that first week when he was a newborn) when he was left with someone he didn't know.
I start school the same week as the montessoris start, so if it doesn't work out, I am, well, screwed. He is really too little to come to class with me, even for one day, so if I want to pull him out my dh or I will have to stay home until we find alternate care. I live in a college town -- it seems that everything around here revolves around the school year, so it will be pretty hard to find another place after Sept. 1. I am only able to get him into the schools I am looking at because they are a few miles out of town and don't necessarily draw from the university staff and students.
I wish that my dcp weren't quitting, that she gave me more than 5 weeks notice, that I could stay home for another year without total financial ruin, having to give up my job as an apprentice, etc., etc.
After thinking about all of this, I think I am bothered by two things. First, I feel backed into a corner. Second, I am not sure whether or not I will be able to distinguish between normal transition anxiety in my son (and will probably find that excruciating to endure) and true unhappiness.
Stacia -- intrepid mama, midwife, and doula. Changing the world one 'zine at a time.