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#91 of 107 Old 03-28-2008, 12:32 PM
 
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I'll just tell you why I, personally, chose not to homeschool. For the record, I think homeschoolers are awesome and I think it's a great alternative to traditional education.

I love the idea of homeschooling, but in reality, I feel like I'm struggling and kind of failing as a SAHM. Isn't that awful! But it's hard for me right now to get the laundry done, cook and plan meals and find time to play with the boys. I enjoy getting out of the house and doing outings. I am trying to plan more activities and do some things, but I'm not great at doing things with the kids.

My oldest is bored at home, we watch TV and I'm sad about that, I'm trying to lessen that, but it's tough for me to make it happen. I'm going to try and do more with the kids, and do some Waldorf inspired activities with them.. We like to cook, I'm going to try gardening, and I want to spend more time reading with them.

I love Montessori conceptually and thought that for $5k in M annual school tuition I could outfit a whole room of M tools. I even thought of doing a co-op. But really, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed as it is, and I want to be stress-free, peaceful and happy with my kids, and I feel like I would feel more like a failure or more stressed out if I tried to HS.

So we enrolled our oldest in M school for the fall. We'll try it and see how it works. I think it's going to be great. I'll work on having more play time and little activities and outings with the kids.

I do think that with older kids, HSing may be more reasonable , or I could manager it better, because frankly toddlers are a lot of work and energy. This is an exhausting stage. I will likely go back to work to help pay for the M school tuitions for our 3 kids. If it doesn't work out for some reason, I would consider HSing, I wouldn't rule it out forever.

And no matter what we will go to the museum, talk, read books, all that.

There's a great book I started to read called Guerilla Education that is wonderful about enrichment no matter what path you take.

If I were to HS, I would expect DH (a Chemical Engineer) to handle some of the math and science, or I would find a tutor or share /swap lessons with other parents with different expertise. I would also look for sports leagues, music lessons, etc. etc. etc. to give a well rounded experience. It wouldn't have to be *all me*.
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#92 of 107 Old 04-02-2008, 10:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by elizaveta View Post




I will probably not home-school my daughter. If she wants to, then we'll see. But my dh grew up in a place where homeschooling is not a norm and he thinks it's ridiculous that Mothers without teaching degrees think they can teach their children. : .

I'm an English teacher. Most of the English curriculum I teach was learned in high school and college. In my teaching credential program I learned education theory, differentiating lessons for the different needs of different students, classroom management, making lessons interesting to children with different learning styles, behavior management systems, teaching second language learners, community building, record keeping, grading philosophies, politics of education, etc. . .. .very useful stuff as a teacher but not anything I think a homeschooling mother would need. But, different teacher credential programs are different.
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#93 of 107 Old 04-03-2008, 07:39 AM
 
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Elizaveta had some very good points. I think the child has to WANT to be homeschooled, and even then, you need to have discipline that the child may not have. She didn't have the self-discipline to learn math nor the maturity to realize that she would benefit from it.

I'm not one of these anti-homeschool teachers. But I wouldn't take an "it's all pro, no cons at all" attitude. I've noticed some people are dogmatic about it and think homeschooling is always the best way to educate a child and it isn't.
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#94 of 107 Old 04-03-2008, 09:27 AM
 
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The dogmatism annoys me, too. Also the (sometimes implied, sometimes stated outright) assumption that sending my child to school means that I'm "giving up" and letting someone else control her education. I may not be in the classroom day-to-day, I may not control the curriculum, but I am just as "involved" in her education as any homeschooler. That involvement takes a different form (advocacy, volunteering, enrichment, reinforcement rather than teaching), but I truly don't think the quality or degree is any less.

The involvement also comes with choosing a school. My daughter went to a fabulous private Montessori preschool and then a fabulous public stand-alone gifted school. I researched the heck out of my options and each time put her in a place where she could truly thrive.
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#95 of 107 Old 04-03-2008, 09:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by waiflywaif View Post
The dogmatism annoys me, too. Also the (sometimes implied, sometimes stated outright) assumption that sending my child to school means that I'm "giving up" and letting someone else control her education. I may not be in the classroom day-to-day, I may not control the curriculum, but I am just as "involved" in her education as any homeschooler. That involvement takes a different form (advocacy, volunteering, enrichment, reinforcement rather than teaching), but I truly don't think the quality or degree is any less.

The involvement also comes with choosing a school. My daughter went to a fabulous private Montessori preschool and then a fabulous public stand-alone gifted school. I researched the heck out of my options and each time put her in a place where she could truly thrive.
Exactly. Schools and teachers generally are a gift to society, and not all societies have it. I love the beauty and flexibility of homeschool, but it's not for everyone. That doesn't mean that schooling parents are lazy, uninvolved, or ignorant.
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#96 of 107 Old 04-06-2008, 12:17 AM
 
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Off the top of my head, some possible cons of homeschooling:
-less interaction with other children (although of course this can easily be remedied with sporting/cultural activities, or religious groups, or social groups in general) - and learning how to socialise and interact with others is one of the most important aspects of school, IMO
-the system of learning is based on one or two people, and they have responsibility for making sure that nothing is missed - different to in a school, where there is a curriculum that must be followed and perhaps more accountability to make sure that it is followed

And on a completely different note, I totally agree with this:
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I can't think of anything I'd rather invest in than my kids education.
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#97 of 107 Old 04-06-2008, 12:10 PM
 
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I also entertained the thought of homeschooling when my son was small, that or waldorf, montessori, etc. However the reality of life was different than my idealistic fantasy.

I am a very high energy person and like to be on the go, I also really need me time. It's been hard enough for me to be a sahm, I tell ya! I could not meet the demands of homeschooling. That's not to say that I don't find it fine for those it works for. For me, not so much. I am being honest about who I am and what I can do.

For my children, they love to go to school! Maybe towards the end of the year, my son starts to get a bit tired. Aside from that, they enjoy it and the social aspects way too much. I am not the type to organize get togethers, etc. If they were homeschooled, their lives would be a social wasteland.

SO I am being honest about who I am, what I can do and who my children are and what they can do. It doesn't work for me. In some respects, I wish it would, idealistically...but in reality, it does not.

My dh was homeschooled and it did affect him socially. He always felt outside of things, and there are other issues as well. That also had an impact on our decision.

Also our school system is one of the best in the country; Bozeman HS was rated 10th nationally, so that also is a consideration. It's alot of things, but mostly it's me being honest with who I am, what I want for myself and my family...and going from there.
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#98 of 107 Old 05-01-2008, 12:02 PM
 
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Hmmm.....well! This thread has certainly given me insight,while on my journey to de-homeschool.

On the topic of homeschool groups being exclusive-ITA! I have been in ours for the sixth year, and every year, another *good* family puts their DC in school-to avoid this.: I am never religious enough(and my DH isn't religious at all!), my DD and I wear *gasp* jeans and shorts, we listen to music other than hymns, and we don't use an entire curriculum that has a Bible reference in it every single sentence! Our other choice, has been a very-unschooly group-which doesn't fit us *because* we are religious, or, we don't adopt the all or nothing of hard core unschoolers.

However! Now that we are moving on from hsing, we are finding that the parochial and P.S.s we are considering, are also very much exclusive-at least in the social circles. We live in a neighborhood,that is four blocks away from low-income and four blocks the other direction is high-income(we are in the middle- house wise, but checking account-low-income). And, I am finding out that where we live, is quite important when I have been approaching moms I know, who have kids in the schools we are looking at.

Life is just one big clique. Period. Like someone said...I too feel like I am trying to get into a sorority! Who needs that at the age of 42? Not me, and I certainly don't want my kids to continue to feel those same vibes-especially DD who is so very sensitive and socially aware.

I am trying to come to terms with this. There is no ideal, I have to find a solution to what is REAL for us.

Okay-thanks for letting me vent,it's been informative to lurk on a pro-school thread too!

mp
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#99 of 107 Old 05-01-2008, 12:11 PM
 
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Oh! On a very snarky note....a reason to NOT homeschool....

When your DC get to age 18yo, whether they head in the direction of a crack house, a religious cult, the Marines, trade school, McDonalds, or a four-year college.....your extended family will blame the perceived negative choices, only *partly* on the system...not just on you, the parent!

mp(who doesn't always practice what she tries to teach her DC-read sig line!)
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#100 of 107 Old 05-05-2008, 11:21 AM
 
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I think that it is very easy to supplement school with at home activities that give the benefits of homeschooling, but I don't think the reverse is quite as true.

Really, it is quite easy to have kids in school and still give them the benefits of trips to museums, science centers, "educational" vacations (Civil War sites, Williamsburg, Kennedy Space Center, etc.,), even teach them math using baking as an example (from these boards a popular HS concept).

Many HS-ers seem convinced that once you take the school path, that's the only place learning occurs, while their kids are "learning all the time". Quite frankly, that's BS.
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#101 of 107 Old 05-06-2008, 05:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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wow. I didn't realize this thread was still alive. We have decided to HS. Now we are trying to figure out if we will take the unschooling path or follow a curriculum.......

Thanks for all the insight- a lot to think about here!
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#102 of 107 Old 05-06-2008, 05:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mamapoppins View Post
Hmmm.....well! This thread has certainly given me insight,while on my journey to de-homeschool.

On the topic of homeschool groups being exclusive-ITA! I have been in ours for the sixth year, and every year, another *good* family puts their DC in school-to avoid this.: I am never religious enough(and my DH isn't religious at all!), my DD and I wear *gasp* jeans and shorts, we listen to music other than hymns, and we don't use an entire curriculum that has a Bible reference in it every single sentence! Our other choice, has been a very-unschooly group-which doesn't fit us *because* we are religious, or, we don't adopt the all or nothing of hard core unschoolers.

However! Now that we are moving on from hsing, we are finding that the parochial and P.S.s we are considering, are also very much exclusive-at least in the social circles. We live in a neighborhood,that is four blocks away from low-income and four blocks the other direction is high-income(we are in the middle- house wise, but checking account-low-income). And, I am finding out that where we live, is quite important when I have been approaching moms I know, who have kids in the schools we are looking at.

Life is just one big clique. Period. Like someone said...I too feel like I am trying to get into a sorority! Who needs that at the age of 42? Not me, and I certainly don't want my kids to continue to feel those same vibes-especially DD who is so very sensitive and socially aware.

I am trying to come to terms with this. There is no ideal, I have to find a solution to what is REAL for us.

Okay-thanks for letting me vent,it's been informative to lurk on a pro-school thread too!

mp
Sometimes life does seem to be like one big clique. I'm seeing this more and more now that I have kids. Trying to 'fit in' at a play date feels like junior high all over!
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#103 of 107 Old 05-13-2008, 11:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by bczmama View Post
I think that it is very easy to supplement school with at home activities that give the benefits of homeschooling, but I don't think the reverse is quite as true.

Really, it is quite easy to have kids in school and still give them the benefits of trips to museums, science centers, "educational" vacations (Civil War sites, Williamsburg, Kennedy Space Center, etc.,), even teach them math using baking as an example (from these boards a popular HS concept).

Many HS-ers seem convinced that once you take the school path, that's the only place learning occurs, while their kids are "learning all the time". Quite frankly, that's BS.
I agree. I'm sending my kids to school and we do lots of things at home too. Lots of times I will do something to extend the concepts dd1 learns in K.

Mama of 3 girls: 7.5 , 6 , and 4.5
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#104 of 107 Old 05-13-2008, 12:02 PM
 
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I just couldn't find enough activities/social opportunities. School is far from perfect but it provides a lot of activities. The activities in our area are mostly sports teams.

My kids do not like organized sports. They sometimes play baseball but that's it. All the homeschooled kids in our area are pretty heavily involved. Because of that we found that they had little free time to socialize.

Generally the kids are in "school" during the day and then in the afternoon/evenings they are busy with sports.

Our school gets out early in the afternoon so the kids have several hours to play after school.
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#105 of 107 Old 05-13-2008, 12:11 PM
 
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I tried to HS my son, for Pre-K. I learned that I am not a patient teacher. He is not a patient learner. If I can't explain it just right, he gets frustrated, making me frustrated. It was one big frustration!! So I plopped him in front of my computer with Starfall, and decided to just relax. Now that he's learned to read, and has begun math skills, i think transitioning him to homeschool is a possibility, so long as I am not the teacher. (searching for co-op or hoping for private school some day)

~Autumn~   Mama to whistling.gif (2001) and hearts.gif(2005) partners.gif madly in love since '99 
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#106 of 107 Old 05-13-2008, 12:11 PM
 
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I find it very interesting that many homeschooling parents cite bullying, cliques, and the competitive school environment as reasons not to put children in schools...and then I read multiple posts on bullying, cliques, and over-competitiveness in homeschool groups, co-ops, playground encounters, etc.

Looks like kids will have both social problems and social triumphs in just about every setting.
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#107 of 107 Old 05-13-2008, 02:33 PM
 
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I agree. I'm sending my kids to school and we do lots of things at home too. Lots of times I will do something to extend the concepts dd1 learns in K.
I was a kinder teacher before becoming a mother and I always loved the social growth in kindergarten. I enjoyed school and I want my children to have that opportunity as well. Of course, the education will not stop once they are home...there are so many different ways to learn!

So, to answer the OP (even though I believe she decided to HS). I think pros of school are: social interaction, organized enrichment activities such as music class, athletics, drama etc., the whole getting out of the house and having a 'job' thing (the job of being a student), technology options I don't have in my home, hmm. I guess that's a start. Maybe I'll come back with more later.
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