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Are they serious?

4K views 65 replies 43 participants last post by  FIJI Water 
#1 ·
I have a much younger sibling. She is 12 years old.

My mom and I were talking tonight about an unrelated incident. Then my mom brought up the fact that my little sis was so upset and not wanting to go to school tomorow.

I asked why and my mom told me that they sent home a letter to the parents today telling them to make sure your child is wearing a bra to school tomorow. The letter went on to say that the children are all going to be required to go into the cafeteria and remove their shirts and be screened for scoliosis.

My little sister is absolutely horrified at the thought of having to take her shirt off in front of everyone. I can imagine she isn't the only girl who is very upset about this.

My mom called the school and they told her that this is mandatory and the only way to get out of it would be to have a sworn afidavit stating that it is against your religious beliefs.

WTH?
 
#5 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
That's awful! Could your mom keep her home tomorrow? Could she maybe have her screened by a family doc instead and submit that?
She was told that even if she were kept home that she would be called in as soon as she was back at school.

My mom also asked if she could submit her family doc's records because they have already checked there. The school nurse told her that would not be acceptable and that she would have to be examined by the school.
 
#6 ·
At least maybe if she was called in, they would protect her dignity by examining her in the nurse's office rather than in the cafeteria? If it was me, I would keep her home and go nuts making phone calls tomorrow.

I would also write out "I hereby swear that it is against my personal religious convictions to have my daughter publicly stripped down to her bra and examined. You do not have our permission to do this" and then take it to AAA and have it notarized. The notary is only there to make sure it's signed, not to examine the beliefs, you know?
 
#7 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
At least maybe if she was called in, they would protect her dignity by examining her in the nurse's office rather than in the cafeteria? If it was me, I would keep her home and go nuts making phone calls tomorrow.

I would also write out "I hereby swear that it is against my personal religious convictions to have my daughter publicly stripped down to her bra and examined. You do not have our permission to do this" and then take it to AAA and have it notarized. The notary is only there to make sure it's signed, not to examine the beliefs, you know?
Definitely yeah that.

When we had the scoliosis test it was during gym individually in the locker room with a female. And we never had mandatory showers after gym. (We did have to change clothes though.)

What are they going to do if your mother refuses? Kick your sister out of school? We're not even talking about something thats contagious. And just FYI, most banks also have notaries.
 
#9 ·
What about sending her in a swimsuit top if she has a two-piece or a one-piece? When I was in school, we were tested during the swimming portion of our gym class curriculum since we were all in swimsuits at that time. I'd be wearing a swimsuit instead of a bra for this - it'll be much cooler looking than a bunch of girls in their bras! (not trying to make light of the subject matter here, just trying to give her an option to voice...) I could see being nervous/horrified about having to stand in my bra at that age.

We did have the mandatory group showers in school - though there were some with doors in case we had our period (at least the locker rooms in middle school had them). The sad part is that after sweating for an hour in gym class, some people really did need a shower and unfortunately, this shower was the only shower some of the kids in my class were getting. People in my classes always seemed to be pretty repectful about them though, I don't remember anything too troublesome about them - likely because no one was thrilled with them and was more concerned with getting in and getting out and getting dressed.
 
#10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post
In the public schools here, you don't have to remove your shirt until you're behind a screen with the nurse.
That is the procedure in my state as well.

Everyone waits in the cafeteria, but you don't have to remove your shirt until you are behind a screen with a nurse. I don't recall it being very traumatic; in fact I was excited because I got to purchase my first bra because of it!

If your sister is still upset about it and not willing to have the screening, check into a religious/philosophical exemption. I know some states have them, if not all. You should be able to find out online.
 
#11 ·
As I stated I had to do this. All the girls were lined up (without our shirts on) and we each had to wait in line until it was our time to be examined. We were all equally embarassed so at least we were in that state together and no one teased. My mom was mad about it as well but she didn't do anything successful to stop it.

I say pull the religious/philosophical card. A parent's rights trump the school.
 
#12 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe View Post

I say pull the religious/philosophical card. A parent's rights trump the school.
ITA. I would pull out all the stops to keep my child from this. What makes them think that it is okay to do this to young girls?


Also, you may tell your mom to talk to someone else in the school/school district about this. Quite often, school secretaries are not privy to all the information. For example, many in our school district have been told that without vaxes, they cannot attend school, which is absolutely false. I think that further research into the actual laws might show that your mom has more rights than she is being told.

If it were me, I would keep her out until I spoke with someone higher up in the chain of command, and it was resolved in a way that was acceptable to me and dd.
 
#13 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by blsilva View Post
ITA. I would pull out all the stops to keep my child from this. What makes them think that it is okay to do this to young girls?


Also, you may tell your mom to talk to someone else in the school/school district about this. Quite often, school secretaries are not privy to all the information. For example, many in our school district have been told that without vaxes, they cannot attend school, which is absolutely false. I think that further research into the actual laws might show that your mom has more rights than she is being told.

If it were me, I would keep her out until I spoke with someone higher up in the chain of command, and it was resolved in a way that was acceptable to me and dd.

:
 
#14 ·
Are you sure they have to take off their shirts in front of everyone? I remember going through this when I was that age and the nurse put up a portable wall-type-thing so the the only person who saw me was the nurse and one other person (can't remember if it was another nurse or a teacher). It was still embarassing, but not horribly so. I couldn't have imagined taking my shirt off in front of all those people!
 
#15 ·
I remember this @ school. We got to keep our shirts on though. We lined up then hunched over & the nurse lifted the backs of our shirts very discreetly.

That said - NO. I would NOT "require" my DD to disrobe, period. (Even if just a shirt.) The first mistake made here was ASKING. I'd TELL them NO and damn well mean it. In person. I hope it goes well, please update!

to your sister!
 
#16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by rmzbm View Post
I remember this @ school. We got to keep our shirts on though. We lined up then hunched over & the nurse lifted the backs of our shirts very discreetly.
This was how they did it when I was in school too.
However, I think it is wrong for a school to be doing ANY health care. They should only be TEACHING about preventitive health practices, the actual PRACTICING belongs at home or at the health care provider chosen by each family.
I would absolutely refuse too.
 
#17 ·
I would call the school and find out the procedure, I remember in school, they had us behind screens, so there was no taking off the shirt in front of all the students.

My best friend actually, they found out she had scoliosis during this screening (they didn't have health insurance) and thru the school she got treatment for it and she is grateful that they checked her. Just wanted to put in a different perspective.
 
#18 ·
I beleive they are lying to you. There are always exemptions to this. Her old school nurse (very mainstream) was not a fan of the scoliosis tests in school for some reason and she made sure that everyone knew exemptions (a simple letter, non religious) existed. So I sent one. DD said she was the only one who didn't have it done, but she was glad!

BTW, I was misdiagnosed by the school every year as a kid and my mom would have to get a Doc's note saying I did not have scoliosis!
 
#20 ·
I would have your mother check into the legalities of it. FWIW..I am against all "mandatory" health screening in school-they are places of education, and that's it. If they are allowed to do anymore than we see horrific violations of parental rights, and this thread simply proves that point. Anyway, the school should have to accept a doctor's note by law, I'd imagine. I'd tell your mom to call a lawyer about it, and in the meantime, I'd play the religious card.
 
#21 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe
I had to do it when I was 12 in public school. Nothing new.
I was checked for scoliosis as a child as well (in the 70's and early 80's) but that doesn't make it any easier for a 12 yr old girl to accept the fact that she has to take off her shirt in front of strangers.

I'd let her stay home that day and take her to be screened by her family doctor IF they give you beef about it. There is no LAW that says being screened for scoliosis is a "required" part of the curriculum in a public school. Geez, Louise.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe
I'm sorry you're sister is upset. Wait for the mandatory showers after gym class.
That's different.
Plus, when I was in school no one was ever forced to shower. That must be totally new.
 
#22 ·
Surely to goodness they don't expect the entire 6th grade female population to take off their shirts in front of everyone else.


I love our kids' school, and I wouldn't want to cause a stink unless absolutely necessary because that sort of thing 'follows' you/your kids IME.

That said, my girls would not be stripping down in front of all of their female classmates if they didn't want to. Period. The end.

I wonder if the 2 piece bathing suit thing would make matters better or worse. I can hear teasing over 'She doesn't even have a bra', blah blah blah, or some other such non-sense. What about girls that are still completely flat chested? How embarassing for them. And what about the girls that are extremely overweight with fat rolls they'd rather not show to everyone in their class? What a nightmare!

I'd look into the actual legal requirements first. I wouldn't have a bit of a problem with sending a notarized letter stating whatever the hell it needed to say. I'd send in a doctor's note stating my child had been examined by a physician (which trumps an exam by the school nurse don't you think?).

Schools around here also make it seem like you 'have' to have vaccines too, but that's not true. You won't find THEM telling people that though. The forms say 'Four doses of XYZ vaccine are required.', so if you didn't know better, you'd think it was just that...required.
 
#23 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
I would also write out "I hereby swear that it is against my personal religious convictions to have my daughter publicly stripped down to her bra and examined. You do not have our permission to do this" and then take it to AAA and have it notarized. The notary is only there to make sure it's signed, not to examine the beliefs, you know?
I agree.

Plus, the OP said it was going to be conducted in the cafeteria? ewww. That sounds very unsanitary to me. I think I'd report them to the state. This is something that should be done in a more professional manner in a nurse's office or the girls or boys gym separately and just one child at a time to ensure their privacy.

What about the right to privacy for children? Does that not exist?
 
#24 ·
I think the school knew there would be a big stink about this. At least about the mass public way it is being carried out.

They didn't send the letter home until the night BEFORE the screening. It is to take place today.

That way nobody had time to object or get sworn affidavits etc.

I also attended school in the district where my sister is a student. We had to do the same screening in high school. They did it in the library at our school and it was incredibly embarrassing.

For some reason I thought the school district might have changed its archaic way of doing this since then.


My biggest problem with this is the precedent it sets. That schools can perform "mandatory" health screenings/care on students and that parents cannot, or are not given time, to object.

I mean really what if they suddenly decide school immunization days are a good idea.
:

ETA: The other thing that really bothers me about this is that I have a daughter of my own now. If she brought home a note like this I would be completely upset. Having BTDT and then thinking about my sister or own daughter having to go through it as well is infuriating.
 
#25 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by wifeandmom View Post
Surely to goodness they don't expect the entire 6th grade female population to take off their shirts in front of everyone else.



Geesh, am I the only one who did actually have to stand in a line without a shirt on along with all my femal classmates?

It seems others who went throught the screening had it done more descreetly than I did at the school I went to.

Oh and to mommy68....no need for the eyeroll. Just because I said that this type of screening and the way it is carried out is not new does not mean I endorse it or think it's ok. And, yes, I think that mandatory showers is in the same category as this screening. Either way you are being forced to take off clothes in front of others.

In my school it was mandatory or you flunked gym class. There were no curtains or separate shower stalls....even for when girls had their period. You could be excused from showers if you were on your period. In fact, the gym teacher kept a notebook keeping track of each of our cycles and if she thought that you were lieing about your period you had points dedeucted from your grade. Now, imagine having to stand in front of everyone else and say, "I'm on my period." because you didn't shower. Yes, we stood in a big group and the coach asked why you didn't shower in front of everyone else. Then she would write it down. I had very irregular cycles as a teen and I had to get a note from a Dr explaining that yes, I did in fact sometimes have a period twice a month. Oh, and these was in the 80s.

Motherwillow, how did it go today for your sister?
 
#26 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by MotherWillow View Post
I mean really what if they suddenly decide school immunization days are a good idea.
:


They used to. When my dad went to school they gave immunizations at school. he remembers lining up with all the other kids for the shots and the oral polio on the sugar cube. He also remembers have his teeth checked at school.

Do they still do sight and hearing screening at school? I remember that.
 
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