Did your child repeat 2nd grade? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 04-01-2008, 10:22 PM - Thread Starter
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Or another grade?

My son's 2nd grade teacher told me today that she would strongly recommend having ds repeat the grade. She pointed out that it is absolutely our decision, and that this is just her opinion.

Her reasons are that ds is a year behind in all Language Arts skills, and is just young. He is the youngest in the class, with a summer birthday, and I know what she means. He is a very sweet kid, and there are no behavioral issues.

He does after school tutoring in reading, in one form or another, 3x a week. He also is in two reading programs at school, in addition to his regular schooling and work at home. He has made tremendous progress, but is still at a reading level equivelent to the end of 1st grade.

Just a note, this is his first year in this school. We moved from another city, so he knows the kids but hasn't been with them since, say, pre-k.

Anyway, I'm not looking for people to tell me what to do here, but I would like to hear from people who have decided to retain. How did it work out for your child? How are they doing now? How did it impact them emotionally/socially? Are you glad you made this decision?

If you're a teacher, and you have had a child repeat a grade, what have you observed?
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#2 of 7 Old 04-02-2008, 12:29 AM
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I am a teacher and I can tell you what I have observed. I have taught grade 3 for 5 years and I have had several students who have been retained- two in the same year. Those students were kept back in grade 2. I will be honest it was not until I checked these kids records and realized their ages that I knew that they had been retained. They were taller than the others- one more than the other- but at this age things are so variable that it didn't matter and I thought they just had tall parents. The other students did not notice that they were older and had been retained and when it came up it was not a big deal. Academically I have to say I think it helped them. They were ready for grade 3- they were not my top students but they were not struggling with the curriculum either. They were on par with the other students. They were not behaviour problems either but by grade 3 they were at the same emotional level as the others. Good luck with your decision it is a difficult one to make sometimes.

Mama to two loqacious and bouncy boys.
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#3 of 7 Old 04-02-2008, 05:18 PM
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My brother was retained in second grade, and according to my mom, it helped him tremendously. He was the youngest in his grade and also on the small side. I remember my parents working his homework with him every night, but he still struggled. He would say things like, "I'm dumb." It was really sad, even for this big sister.

So, he was retained and it worked great for him. There was never any stigma about being retained, and he became an A/B student. He just graduated from high school last year and is doing wonderfully
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#4 of 7 Old 04-06-2008, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for sharing your experiences with this.
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#5 of 7 Old 04-07-2008, 10:46 AM
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My son is 14 now and was held back in the second grade. For all the reason your son is having now. It has been a struggle with him since. When he turned 10-11 his reading sky rocketed. If you read any homeschool books boys really dont reach there reading peak until that age any how. Up till then reading is forced on them...thus makeing some boys take longer to read. My son was in public school until the 6 th grade. He was homeschooled for over a year until he decided to go back on his own. He is now in the 7th grade. And is the tallest kid in his class. He says he is bored. It has been very hard on him not being with his peers from the neighborhood, church, sports. He has asked me multiple time..mom why did you hold be back? I would of never done it if i would of known how much it affected him. Be very cautious when talking with teachers. I know that some of them are there for the good of all children yet others are trying to make state quota..thus if a child comes out of his/her class and they are not at "grade level" that teacher/school does not get "points" or what ever they call them. Which can result in the school not receiveing proper accredidation. My mother is a middle school teacher and she has explained how this works. I have seen it my self. Thre are also studies out there that suggest if a child fails twice by the time he/she hits high school the drop out rate is 97%. So right there we are setting out child up for failure, by holding them back. I know that you are not looking for opinions, however i would really research boys and learning styles....boys and reading issues. Really talk to your child about how he feels about all this. But also know that he will figure out this reading thing...maybe not on our public school systems "time". Good Luck

Mami to fly-by-nursing2.gifds 4 wks, ds 2yo, ds 6yo, dd 11yo, ds 17 yo. novaxnoIRC.gifwaterbirth.jpg
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#6 of 7 Old 04-07-2008, 01:20 PM
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I can share experience of a child that was NOT held back when he should have been. My brother was among the youngest in his class and struggled a lot in the early grades, but teachers kept pushing him to the next grade. My parents didn't fight it but wish now they had tried to hold him back themselves. He was later held back in grade 8, and it was very hard on him. He was separated from friends he had from Kindergarten and overall it was very hard on his self esteem to have been held back at that age. So if a child needs to be held back, it would probably be better to do it earlier rather than later.
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#7 of 7 Old 04-09-2008, 01:21 PM
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When my ds was in K his regular classroom teacher thought he should be retained. His speech therapist cautioned me and said it was a negative experience for her with her 3rd grade son. I asked him if he wanted to repeat K and he said no. I explained he had to work hard to catch up.
We had a meeting and they showed me what they were working on and what methods they used so we could be on the same letters, numbers, ect. We sent E-mails daily on small accomplishments and comments or ideas. He mastered what he needed to know in 8 weeks or so. We spent the summer reading and I bought him workbooks and a computer software program.

My ds has learning delays and has always been behind his peers. Again we will spend the summer practicing and exploring different methods of learning to help him master the skills.

For 3rd grade we decided to homeschool. I think 3rd grade is a big year for math with multiplying and dividing. Probablility, measurement, geometry, and my favorite word problems.The writing standards are harder and reading fluency is stressed more. They have to write in paragraphs, organize written responses, research and do book reports. I didn't know 3rd graders had to do oral presentations!

I would sit down and talk about it with your ds. Look up the standards on your state education web page and explain to him the pro and cons. Maybe you can subscribe to a site like Edhelper over the summer and build on his skills. I agree with the pp about boys not reading well until they are around 10yrs. So if it just the reading alone don't be discouraged. With all the help he has received he is probably better than his peers.
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