Second Baby Blues? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 04:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is my second pregnancy. My son is turning two on December 5 so he will be about 2.5 when the new baby arrives.

I keep oscillating between being really happy about the new baby and then feeling really sad to do this to my son. He is very high need. He still nurses many times throughout the day and night and is still co-sleeping. He also needs a lot of attention all the time. I am worried that he is not going to deal well with sharing me and his dad with the new lo.

I know that he will adjust, I mean obviously millions of other children have and are fine. I just can't seem to get rid of this sad feeling that everything is changing and he will not be the center of my world anymore.

Anyone else having similar feelings? Anyone out there that has already been through this in the past that can give me some reassurance?
TIA

Bethany ~ Mama of two wonderful boys ♥ ♥  Wife to one amazing man ♥

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#2 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 04:55 PM
 
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I have no personal experience, but I can tell you from secondhand experience that it's totally normal to feel sad and guilty about so thoroughly disrupting the first child's world. It's also normal to feel sad that your second will never be able to get the same kind of one on one time that your first got. But there are also a lot of people who found having a sibling to be the most rewarding thing in life, right from the start (myself included) so hopefully your kids will be in that category. good luck!

Mom to a little boy (June 2009)
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#3 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 05:11 PM
 
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I'm currently pregnant with my third. I can tell you I *still* have feelings of loss and guilt. . that my ds doesn't get the same sorts of things/experiences that my dd did. And that my dd still has to adjust to not being an only, having to be the big kid. . .

But for all the disadvantages there are just as many advantages. I wish I had had the joy of siblings.

Be, happy momma to Liberty (12-31-02), Henry (3-17-07) and Prudence (7-02-09)
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#4 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 05:55 PM
 
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bethany, i felt the same way during my second pregnancy. it's totally normal, and shows how much you care for and love your only child. i can't say all your worries will resolve the second you pop your baby out, because those first few weeks with two can be an adjustment. but you will figure things out as you go along, and suddenly you'll look back and realize how much you totally love both of your children.

there is always mama guilt when you have more than one. but you'll learn to love them both. and your son will be the better for it once he settles in, i promise. he will love having a sibling - if not immediately, then eventually.

~Serina~
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#5 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 05:58 PM
 
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My oldest two were only 18 mo apart and I too went through a lot of feelings of guilt when I go pg again. I felt bad for my oldest that he wouldn't be an only child for much longer and I'd have to share my attn and I felt bad for the new baby, b/c he wasn't able to get my undivided attn either, like his older brother got when he was a newborn. It took me a while to get over it. I think that once you figure out how to prioritze balancing the needs of both, it helps tremendously. I think part of my feelings of guilt, were mixed in with feelings of fear and being afraid that I wasn't going to be able to handle it all. Once you figure out how to do it, your confidence level will increase dramtically, at least that was my experience. It took me 6 mo to figure things out, the first six months were really hard, but after that, things have only continued to get better.

Now I am pg with baby #3. It was a little bit of a surprise since DH and I were open to another baby, but were leaving it to fate and not officially ttc. The one thing we both agreed on, was that this time around, there would be at LEAST a 3-4 yr gap btwn the baby and my youngest son, since we realized how difficult it was to have two kids so close in age. I know that this time around, things will be a little bit easier, b/c I've BTDT with trying to figure out how to juggled more than one child and my youngest wil be almost 4 by the time I have the baby.

You'll do ok and realize that by having another baby, you also give your child another friend and playmate. With all of my guilt, I did not really think about the benefits of having two kids close in age and it turned out for me that my two boys really enjoy one another so much. It was not something that I really thought about. I only thought about what my kids would be missing out on, not what they would gain with having another sibling.
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#6 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 06:17 PM
 
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I am feeling the same way, plus very nervous about how my DD will handle it. I am actually beginning to think that having a sibling might be really good for her, though- I am not sure that it is so great for her to be the absolute center of our world. I just feel like it is going to be so hard for her.

How does one prepare a 2 year old (she will also be 2.5 when her sibling arrives) for such a change?

mama to Ingrid (11/06) and Louisa (5/29/09):
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#7 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 06:21 PM
 
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Oh yes, whenever I see pictures of new babies and older brothers, I want to cry! My DS is also still co-sleeping, nursing and needing mama! He is going to be over 3 when the new baby is born but I am still somewhat sad about it!
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#8 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 06:31 PM
 
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I am feeling the same way. I also hardly feel any connection with this pregnancy and feel guilty about that too.
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#9 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 06:37 PM
 
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I am glad that I am not the only one feeling this way. Alex will be three when this one is born. he has as all the time, and it make it worse, due to being diabetic, they will probably have me deliver early, due to major complications that I had last time, which will mean that he will proabably have a new sibling for his birthday on 6/28/06, I am due on 7/5/09, this makes me feel even more guilty.
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#10 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 08:28 PM
 
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Right there with you. My son turns two tomorrow, and I am due at the end of July. I am most afraid that I won't have enough love and patience for both children, and that the cost of preschool and infant care will kill us financially. I am just trying not to think about it....
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#11 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 08:57 PM
 
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I kind of think I am giving my son the life long gift of a sibling and the new sibling will have the life long gift of my first child. Maybe I'm just on a hormone high but I just feel like these two kids are meant for each other as siblings and that neither would be complete without the other. I know that sounds crazy considering the 2nd one isn't even born yet and I'm not even out of the first trimester but that is just the gut feeling I have.

My SIL just had another baby. Her first is 2.5 years old and a boy. Her first son absolutely loves the new baby. He has been so excited to have a little brother right from the start. I know kids are all different but I thought maybe you'd be happy to hear about one 2.5 yo that was happy with a new baby.
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#12 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 10:20 PM
 
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I've been thinking the same things, especially about how I won't be able to be the mom was I was to DD to the second one, and what she's going to do when I'm not able to be with her totally. There will be a 3 year spacing between the two (I'm due early July, so likely will go to mid-July).

BUT, like today, when DD was standing in the middle of the living room, looking like she just needed someone to play but I felt too bad to do it, I thought about how much easier it'll be when she has someone to play with/pick on/entertain/teach (!), etc, and how much better that will be for her. Like making her a more well-rounded little girl, and help her learn to be considerate of others, etc.

I've been talking to her about all the things that she can do, but the baby won't be able to, asking her about all the things that she will want to teach the new baby, talking about all the things that they'll be able to do together someday w/o mama and dada (leaving out the part that that is a long long way down the road!!). When I see her excited about it, and she wants to talk to the baby and gives my belly a zerbert to do so (making fart sounds on my belly), it makes me glad we ended up doing it again.

Amy, mama to "Pumpkin" (DD1, 5/16/06) and "Squashy" (DD2, 7/10/09)
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance"- Confucius
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#13 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 10:27 PM
 
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I believe I'm going through a bit of the same thing. I am so happy to be pregnant after a few months of trying, but I can't help but worry about how my daughter will react. I know she'll do great with the new baby and simply can't wait to meet them, but my DD too, is quite high needs and nurses all the time. She will actually be 2 on the 8th of December (and the 5th is my birthday like your sons!) so we're in the same boat age wise. Personally, I think it's totally normal to be a little worried. Of course it will be hard, especially on our little ones who are used to all of the attention, but in my opinion a sibling for them to have forever is completely worth it.

Amri- mama to Indica 12.08.06 and Kytan 04.04.10
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#14 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 10:37 PM
 
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I remember feeling like that quite a bit with my second pregnancy. It was quite an adjustment (my first two are 2.5 yr apart) but nothing made DD2 laugh and smile like DD1. They adored each other right from the start.

Even now they are so close. They have the normal sibling stuff but they love each other so so so much and can play together for hours. I am excited to bring another babe into our family.

Before DD2 was born, it was hard for me to even imagine another person in our family and after she was born I could barely remember life without her! I am sure that is how it will be this time too!
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#15 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 11:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all so much for sharing. I am feeling so much better now. I really make an effort to focus on the positive side of things in every area of my life and you have all given me many positive points to focus on. Thank You!!!:

Bethany ~ Mama of two wonderful boys ♥ ♥  Wife to one amazing man ♥

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#16 of 26 Old 11-24-2008, 11:53 PM
 
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I was telling my mom about how I was feeling and asking her if she felt the same way and she said she did. Then she said she had something for me and that she would email it. I just got it, and I literally sat her and balled for 10 minutes before I could type this.

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand,
basking in the glow of our magical relationship.
Suddenly I feel a kick from within,
as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born,
and I watch you.
I watch the pain you feel at having to share me
as you've never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way,
"Please love only me."
And I hear myself telling you in mine,
"I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you.
I almost see our new baby as an intruder
on the precious relationship we once shared.
A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing,
I find myself attached to that new being,
and feeling almost guilty.
I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him -- as though I am
betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change,
first to curiosity,
then to protectiveness,
finally to genuine affection.

More days pass,
and we are settling into a new routine.
The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared,
just we two.
There are new times -- only now, we are three.
I watch the love between you grow,
the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you -- as I have for so long.
I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments.
And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you,
I've given something to you.
I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with
both of you.

I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are,
but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement.
Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only
differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time,
I now know you'll never share my love.
There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own
supply.

I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life."

author unknown
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#17 of 26 Old 11-25-2008, 02:15 PM
 
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: That poem made me cry too! It is beautiful!
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#18 of 26 Old 11-28-2008, 06:05 AM
 
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Oh now I am crying too! My sweet little son, this reminds me to enjoy every minute of the next nine months with him. I love our little Mama Baby team. I am looking forward to the baby but it is bittersweet!
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#19 of 26 Old 11-29-2008, 08:45 PM
 
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Aww! That poem was so nice.

I've been wondering if our feelings about adding to our family have to do with our experiences as children. I was 4 years and 20 days old when my mom had twins. I'm sure I was excited, but I was bf until I was 3 and a half, and we were very close. She was so busy with twins that she says she doesn't really remember much except that one morning, the twins were both improbably asleep at the same time, and I crawled into her bed and cried for about 20 minutes. She said she felt so bad for me and she cried too because there was nothing she could do.

I'm so scared that my son will feel abandoned by me when the new baby comes, but I'm trying to feel confident that I'm only having one (please God!) and my husband is more involved than my father was. With his help, I'm trying to be confident that we can make the transition fairly smooth.

I hear you though. My son will be 2 on December 9th, and like yours he still nurses a lot and co-sleeps. It will be an interesting transition, but as my husband keeps saying, "we're not taking anything away from him. We're giving something to all of us."

Bed sharing, baby wearing, breastfeeding mama of Vonn (dob 12/9/07) and Reuben (dob 7/17/09).
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#20 of 26 Old 11-30-2008, 02:17 AM
 
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I'm crying at that lovely poem, too. DS is 2.5, still nursing several times a day, and is as attached to his mama as a child can be. I've noticed these days, he is particularly clingy and bawls with the most pitiful cry whenever I'm not around, which is a little unusual for him. It's almost as if he already knows how his life is going to change in 9 months, which makes me so, so sad for him. I try to comfort myself with the thought that I will be giving DS his best friend for life. Thanks again for the poem, sarahlynn.
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#21 of 26 Old 11-30-2008, 03:54 PM
 
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Oh wow, that poem is a tear-jerker. Holy moly.

I had very similar feelings during my second pregnancy, and even for the first little while after she was born. I am feeling much more at rest and fully happy this time as I have made a realization. Though children need to share (their mother, their toys, their space), they have the gift of a loving, dynamic family that opens their arms to let them in! Everyone adjusts in time, and it's as though it's always been that way. Totally normal feelings, just try to focus on this baby as a gift for your son!

Peaceful mama to three blissfully-birthed and incredible small people: dd10, dd7 and ds5. Always awed and so thankful to be a midwife.
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#22 of 26 Old 11-30-2008, 08:55 PM
 
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I'm kind of feeling this way too. My 22 month old still very much co-sleeps... it's hard for me to imagine a sleeping arrangement for our family in our tiny bedroom. But we will make it work.

Maybe our kids will just surprise us and not have any issues with it at all! You never know.

I think the main thing I am worried about is the sleeping situation, it is definitely DDs neediest time.
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#23 of 26 Old 12-01-2008, 12:40 AM
 
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Now I'm crying too. That poem really tugs at my heart.

DD will be 3 years 4 months when the new one is born. DD still nurses through the night and co-sleeps, and we are very close. I'm so excited to be pregnant, but knowing that my special relationship with DD will come to an end soon makes me sad. It makes me feel better to know that others are going through the same roller coaster of emotions. I know that DD will be an awesome big sister, but knowing DD will be jealous and mad at me breaks my heart. I love her so much and I cannot imagine loving the next one as much.

When my sister was born, I asked my mother, "wasn't I enough?" How heartbreaking is that? (I was 3.5).

mama to DD (7), DS (3.5), and another DS arriving in August!

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#24 of 26 Old 12-01-2008, 03:31 AM
 
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I too, have spent much time thinking about this. We talked about it a bit over on the ttc board, in the ttc #2 in our 30s thread. I think something I said there has some relativity here:

Quote:
Originally Posted by learnlovebe View Post
You know, I was thinking about this post earlier today. I wonder....do you think our mothers put this much thought into child spacing, family size, etc?

Do we (this generation of Mommas) just overthink everything?

On one hand, it's good to think about how another child is going to affect (or is it effect? I have a degree in English and I can never remember) our family, our lives, our careers, and the demands on ourselves. We don't just want to jump into things- planning is power, right?

One the other hand, I think this can lead to us worrying about everything and second-guessing our strengths. When were planning/pregnant w/ #1, did we REALLY know what we were getting ourselves into? Everyone told us our lives were "about to change," but how many of us REALLY knew what that meant. Then our beloved first baby arrived and suddenly we're REALLY thrust into motherhood. Some of us had a bit of a learning curve, and some of us thrived from day one...but we all learned, grew, and I don't know about you, but the woman I am today can out-cook, out-laundry, out-multi-task, out-organize, out-problem-solve and out-bargain-shop the woman I was just two short years ago. Not to mention kick her butt.

What I wonder is if this applies to baby # 2 as well. If we concieve in 2 weeks (*hopefully!*), will the mom I am in 2 years be able to kick my butt?

Just some random thoughts I'd share. If you think this is a long post...ha! You should have seen what I had written before! This is the edited version!
And now that it IS happening- my ds is going to be a big brother in July (he'll be 2 years, 1 month)- I find myself looking at him more, just taking in his sweetness, all his features, his energy. I hold him just a bit longer when I put him to bed. I guess you could say I cherish him even more now. Is that weird?

But I guess mostly, I'm excited FOR him. He's always going to be my first child, and there will always be a special place in my heart for him, but now he'll get to be that AND a big brother. His little brother or sister is really lucky to have him...(and now I'm bawling- stupid, crazy hormones!).

Married to my favorite man, homeschoolin' mama to a question-asking bug hunter (6) ; a twirling, shy, silly girl (4); a hurricane of boy energy (2), and expecting #4 in April 2014.
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#25 of 26 Old 12-02-2008, 11:12 AM
 
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I was also worried about this when ds2 was on the way. My ds1 is VERY high needs, demanding, intense, perceptive, controlling, etc, etc, etc. He was 2 and 4 mos when his brother was born.

Unlike many kids he did not warm up well to having a brother, and it took him a long time to actually even look at ds2. In the first 6 weeks I had much more trouble with ds1 than I did with my new infant. I felt like I had turned his life upside down and was really guilty.

But you know what? Now they love each other so much. Ds1 tries to keep his 20 month old brother awake all day so he can play with him, rather than letting him nap. He asks where he is first thing in the morning. Ds2 adores his older brother and is just full of energy and excitement whenever ds1 shows the least interest in playing with him. The love and affection they share and the fun they have together is invaluable.

As well, I think high needs, spirited kids need siblings almost more than other kids do. I don't think its a good thing for children to beleive they are the centre of the universe and that everyone should jump when they wimper. They also need to know that not everything in the world is going to fit into their plan all the time. And what better way for them to learn this than by having other people to share their parents with and other people to sometimes crash their perfect plans?

Also, I have found that it is easier / harder to have two kids. Now that ds2 is up and running (really running and climbing and crashing and provoking his brother. . . ), some days are really hard with lots of breaking up fights and keeping everyone clean and dry and fed and feeling like my house is a zoo. But then other days they play really happily and peacefully together, and snuggle together at night, and I get all kinds of cleaning and sewing and cooking done. I find I don't have to take the boys out every day for hours like I did when I just had one, becuase they are not as bored, either.

So take heart. I must go and solve my ds1's terrible clothing dilemma (apparently he can't find his own pants today . . . despite having a drawer full of them).

Jill , mom to Andrew (09/04), Aaron(01/07), and Emma (11/09)
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#26 of 26 Old 12-02-2008, 11:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jilly View Post
.
As well, I think high needs, spirited kids need siblings almost more than other kids do. I don't think its a good thing for children to beleive they are the centre of the universe and that everyone should jump when they wimper. They also need to know that not everything in the world is going to fit into their plan all the time. And what better way for them to learn this than by having other people to share their parents with and other people to sometimes crash their perfect plans?.
I think this is totally true. . and not only for this reason but because a sibling helps to deflect some of the intensity. That seems the case in our house. My dd is high needs, the latest is that she needs company everywhere. . to the bathroom, to put a toy back in her room, to get a book. Company everywhere (she'll be 6 at the end of the month). It can be frustrating as the parent but wonderfully enough she's happy to have her brother be her company and he is more than willing to play the part (for now at least).

Be, happy momma to Liberty (12-31-02), Henry (3-17-07) and Prudence (7-02-09)
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