homebirthin' mamas - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-06-2009, 04:56 AM
 
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haren.13 - look at it this way, there are risks and benefits both ways. In the hospital there are risks that don't exist at home (MRSA being one). With a good midwife, the chance of something not being caught early enough to transfer is really really small. And if a transfer is needed, that's what the hospital is for. I read a study when I was pregnant with ds2 that studied homebirth in Maine. In the 1-2 year period (can't remember exactly) the study occurred, there were 2 deaths of babies who were homebirthed. What they died from would have been lethal had they been in the hospital as well (for example one baby was born without some vital organs). I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are risks each way. If you chose hospital and ended up with a c/s or an infection, you would wonder if birthing at home would have changed it as much as if something happened at home you'd wonder if the hospital would have made a difference. There truly is not "peace of mind" either way. And since you've already had one baby, the risks for you are even lower.

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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Old 01-06-2009, 10:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I agree with Dahlia... like it says in Birthing from within (love that book, just finished it!), worry is the work of pregnancy. I love how in the book she encourages us to work through our feelings, not just push them aside. Because they WILL pop up again in the throes of labor. So it's GOOD to work through your feelings of "what if." I have those too. THis will be our first homebirth and honestly I do think that there is risk no matter where you are, but I am nervous about being at home, just because of how our society has brainwashed me to think it's dangerous. I am doing affirmations... I say things like "my body knows how to birth this baby safely and naturally" and "I am perfectly build to give birth to this baby" and "my body knows what I am doing, I trust my body" etc etc... like when I am taking a bath or something
I am thinking about doing hypnobabies as well, I think it's all about positive thinking
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Old 01-06-2009, 01:25 PM
 
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graciebell - I am not sure where in IN you are but this might be of some help to you

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group...hsupportgroup/


haren.13 - I know what you are talking about. I second what DahliaRW said. What really helped me was to think about other things in everyday life that we take small risks in everyday that people are used to so that are more comfortable with the small risk. Think about cars for example. I am a careful driver but I can not control other drivers, road conditions/hazards, and car malfunctions. There are a lot of innocent people killed every year in car accidents but I ride in a car almost everyday without the fear of dying.

I would encourage you to stay away from people who are negative about homebirth or at least limit birth conversations to those supportive/open to hb. I have a yahoo group in my area that gets together monthly maybe you do too. From my experience, I would say that having a like minded care provider is crucial. My 1st was with an OB that I know now was not like minded. While I have a healthy baby, I suspect that I would have chosen differently in a lot of areas had the OB not excluded a lot of information that they decided I did not need to know. With my 2nd, my midwife was like minded and I received excellent care & information from her. She was honest with me about her limitations, gave me information, I researched and we made the best choice for our pregnancy. Even though I ended up having a c/s with #2, I am happier with my 2nd birth/pregnancy than my 1st which was a induced vaginal birth at a hospital. I am confident now to have a hb vbac with her now. I do have some concerns but they are not about hb or my mw. Surround yourself with solid information and trust your gut.
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Old 01-06-2009, 03:15 PM
 
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I'm a homebirth mama! This one will definitely be born at home, and may or may not be a UC. I haven't decided yet. It's strange, though, I have been having these transient thoughts/visions of myself birthing in the hospital, but I can't foresee a reason I would be there if it weren't for an emergent c/s. I thought for certain I would have a UC this time, but I am seeing a lovely midwife I know very well and who I see as the "perfect" midwife for me, so in line with my philosophies. I do birth quickly though, and she lives in the country, so we'll have to see what happens!

Looking so forward to another home birth! dd1 really wants to be there. Anyone else planning on having their other kiddos present?

Peaceful mama to three blissfully-birthed and incredible small people: dd10, dd7 and ds5. Always awed and so thankful to be a midwife.
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Old 01-06-2009, 05:03 PM
 
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A lot of "problems" in birth are CREATED by the hospital and the interventions they regularly perform.

Read Ina May Gaskins book. It has a lot of inspirational birth stories and only listen to positive birth stories and DO NOT watch mainstream birth shows. They are poison.
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Old 01-06-2009, 05:04 PM
 
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My kiddos will be home and probably stop in to see me (I labor up in my bedroom) from time to time. Not sure how much they'll actually be in there. Last time I really wanted ds1 around as much as he wanted, but everytime he came in my labor slowed down (mama bear instinct my mw said). So at one point we had to have my sister just keep him distracted downstairs since I was getting really tired and we needed to get things moving to get the baby out. So it will depend on if that happens again or not. Ds1 did come in right after I pushed his little brother out and it was the sweetest moment imaginable. He started singing the abcs, and ds2, who was on my chest, turned his head towards ds1 and tried to open his eyes. It was so adorable! I guess all those months of hearing big brother from in the womb stuck with him and he recognized his voice! This time ds1 really wants to help cut the cord (afer it stops pulsating) and be involved like that. So I'm sure he'll be in right after the birth again and we'll just play it by ear. Same with ds2.

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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Old 01-06-2009, 05:06 PM
 
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My ds will be there. He is SO excited!! He says he'll be catching the baby. I think what is more likely is that he can help me bring the baby up out of the water if this babe is born in the water. I am hoping he can be in the water with me when the baby is born.

(of course, he's just as excited about my milk coming in!)

Mama to ds#1 (7) and a ds#2 (1 1/2)
Homebirth midwife
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Old 01-06-2009, 05:30 PM
 
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my DD is only 20 months and I think it will be confusing and she will be a distraction. My older two are 5 and 6. They are step children and I can only guess their mom would FLIP... Plus I am not comfortable with them being there either. My DSS is 6 and is at that weird stage about seeing me in a sports bra and talking about sex, so that is a DEF no go anyway.

I'm actually going to have them all stay with relatives for a little while (maybe a week) so we can get acquainted with the LO and establish bfing too.
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Old 01-06-2009, 05:38 PM
 
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My kids will be there if they want to be. I'd love for them to be there for the actual birth, but not for much of labor. I'll have to enlist a friend to be here to play with them until it gets close. They'll be 7, 4, and 2 when baby is due.

My oldest, Noah, was there when Lilah was born. He got there just before she came out, and that was perfect. He was about to turn 3 at the time.

Both Noah (5) and Lilah (2) were there when Rowan was born. We had just moved here and didn't know many people and so we didn't have anybody to occupy them. Once I started pushing they were in the room. It was good and bad. They helped pour water on my back in the birth pool, which was good, but they were a little chatty too, which was annoying. Right after a big contraction, Noah asked me, "So what is a contraction anyway, Mom?" I think I said, "I'll tell you later Buddy."

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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Old 01-06-2009, 08:15 PM
 
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haren.13 -- I totally went through that thought process, particularly with my first birth. I do think it's true that if something happens to mom or baby at a hb, then you will be blamed for it... not fair, but I think that's the automatic response when you do something counter-cultural. But it helped me to focus on that as a perception that's not founded on truth, just cultural assumptions (hospital=safe). You have obviously come to the conclusion through research that this is not actually true, that hb is as safe or safer for you and your baby. It also helped me to think how women who have babies at the hosp. are just as responsible as homebirthers for the outcome of their births. I really think that it's important to work though all your worries and fears before the birth so that they don't interfere with the birthing process, so it's really great to bring this up!

Mama to 4 girls    chicken3.gif5/05, 12/07, 9/09, 3/11   winner.jpghomeschool.gifhomebirth.jpg

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Old 01-06-2009, 09:58 PM
 
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My kids will be there if they want to be. I'd love for them to be there for the actual birth, but not for much of labor. I'll have to enlist a friend to be here to play with them until it gets close. They'll be 7, 4, and 2 when baby is due.

My oldest, Noah, was there when Lilah was born. He got there just before she came out, and that was perfect. He was about to turn 3 at the time.

Both Noah (5) and Lilah (2) were there when Rowan was born. We had just moved here and didn't know many people and so we didn't have anybody to occupy them. Once I started pushing they were in the room. It was good and bad. They helped pour water on my back in the birth pool, which was good, but they were a little chatty too, which was annoying. Right after a big contraction, Noah asked me, "So what is a contraction anyway, Mom?" I think I said, "I'll tell you later Buddy."

Your poise and grace in that situation was funny and incredible to me. I am not sure I could be so calm. Thats why mine are going to be FAR away! LOL
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Old 01-06-2009, 11:41 PM
 
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DS1 slept through most of my labor with DS2, but woke up in time for the good stuff. He really wanted to be there and is still fascinated by birth and babies. I hope he will be able to be there. We did watch lots of videos before ds2 was born and he was fully aware of all the things that might happen so no surprises, at 2.5 he could tell anyone what a contraction was among other things. I don't think that ds2 will be as into it as his big brother is though.

Jessie. Mama to bikenew.gif(7) : broc1.gif(4) and : toddler.gif22 mo 

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Old 01-07-2009, 02:34 PM
 
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This will be my fourth homebirth. Love it.

Michelle (41), Mateo (43), Taro (16), Malaya (8), Jose (4), and little Kaleo (4 months), chickens, goats, dogs and cats on two cozy acres.
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Old 01-07-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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Question for you HB moms (I'm so jealous! ) ...

Some of you might remember that I met with a MW and really wanted, and still want, a homebirth. We just can't afford it. We have to buy a van before the baby comes and we would have to pay $3,000 for the HB. Here's the thing, I'm "concerned" that I might not make it to the hospital in time because of how quickly Maya came (progressively quicker w/each baby). I don't want to plan an UC, but do you think I should have supplies at home ready in case this baby comes really quickly?
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Old 01-07-2009, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Laura- if you want a homebirth still maybe you could ask your midwife about payments? My midwife is willing to do like even $50 a month for a long time. We're low income too so she's not even going to charge us her full $3000. Don't give up homebirth if it's what you want! I thought we were out due to no insurance coverage and being dirt poor, but God is definitely opening up doors for me, it seems "meant to be."

I hope someone answers your UC questions. I have a friend who recently gave birth in her parking lot.. I think she's planning homebirth next time haha. Luckily there was a nurse in her apartment complex who happened to be in the parking lot! I worry about going too fast... one reason I just couldn't bring myself to do a hospital birth.
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Old 01-07-2009, 06:31 PM
 
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It wouldn't hurt to have some basic supplies on hand. Chaux pads, extra towels, blankets, etc. It really depends, if you have an accidental UC, would you go to the hospital after or not? If not, then you'll also want to have a cord clamp and scissors and such on hand to do all that part yourself as well.

I actually carry a small emergency birth kit in my car as I get near the end of my pregnancy. I'm paranoid I'll be away from home and won't make it!

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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Old 01-07-2009, 06:38 PM
 
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It wouldn't hurt to have some basic supplies on hand. Chaux pads, extra towels, blankets, etc. It really depends, if you have an accidental UC, would you go to the hospital after or not? If not, then you'll also want to have a cord clamp and scissors and such on hand to do all that part yourself as well.

I actually carry a small emergency birth kit in my car as I get near the end of my pregnancy. I'm paranoid I'll be away from home and won't make it!
I agree! As unlikely as it may seem to anyone.... we delivered in our van with nothing to catch the baby in except my DH's sweatshirt!
It was the best/easiest birth ever but it would have been nice to have a blanket and chux pad

Full-time homeschooling mama : of a 15yo "teenager" , 12yo DIVA, 9yo builder, & 4yo treasure.
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Old 01-08-2009, 12:51 PM
 
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I'm glad that someone brought this up. I'll order my birth kit in a few more months to have on hand at home, but I did not think about having a few extra things in the car.
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Old 01-08-2009, 05:25 PM
 
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I'm a late comer to this thread, but I just finished reading everything and I really want to join in!

I'm planning my first HB. I'm really excited because although I had a vaginal birth by the skin of my teeth last time, the hospital did everything it could to prevent it!

You have all made me feel so blessed with my family. My mom tried for a HB VBAC with my brother and sister, but the mw missed that she was having twins and my brother was breech, so after 36 hours she went to the hospital. Both babies were fine. She's obviously very supportive, as is my older sister (the younger ones don't have opinions about where to birth yet). On my husband's side, my in-laws are either supportive or too polite/kind to interfere. Whichever it is, I'll take it!

I too worry about something going wrong. My water broke about 20 hours before my ds was born, and I've read really sad stories about babies getting into trouble when the water breaks (one in Mothering magazine in particular). I figure though that if something like that happened, planning to go to the hospital wouldn't make that much difference. Even if I were planning a hospital birth, i'd want to labor at home for as long as possible, so either way I'd likely get caught at home if something went wrong. I really trust my mw, and I trust that she'll steer us to the hospital if a HB isn't wise.

Finally, I'm not sure if I want my ds there. I want him near by, but I'm not sure I want him in the room while I'm laboring, etc. The "mama bear" idea was new to me, and gives me one more reason to keep him close but not in the room. One reason to keep him near though is that my mw says bf is a great way to speed up a labor (lol! that's why I love my mw).

I've decided that I won't volunteer the info that I'm planning a HB to co-workers and friends. If someone asks where I'm giving birth, I plan to inform them before I tell them that I'm not interested in negative reactions. I know what I'm planning, and if they want to do some research then we can talk.

One last thing I wanted to say, for people whose dhs and families are on the fence/negative. Have you watched "The Business of Being Born" with them? I found it very convincing personally, and I can't wait to force my already supportive dh to watch it with me (he said he would next time I was pregnant).

Bed sharing, baby wearing, breastfeeding mama of Vonn (dob 12/9/07) and Reuben (dob 7/17/09).
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Old 01-09-2009, 03:22 PM
 
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We are plannig our second HB (VBAC #3) with the same midwife. dh really wants a hospital birth but he even admitted after our last HB that it was so much better then being at the hospital so i am going ahead with a HB.

our town dosent allow VBACs anymore and an unnesccessay c-section is NOT an option for me. i will have state insurance and we are in the process of getting something called an open card as opposed to a set insurance card. if we can get it approved my MW is covered. if not i will pay out of pocket for appts and in the 3rd trimester i apply again and they will for sure grant it so the birth itself is covered.
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Old 01-09-2009, 03:44 PM
 
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Mama23boys, sorry to go OT a bit, but I am curious about how you are going about applying for an open card now, before your 3rd trimester? My clients always must wait until the 3rd trimester, so if there is another way, I'm excited to find out!!

Mama to ds#1 (7) and a ds#2 (1 1/2)
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Old 01-09-2009, 04:07 PM
 
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Mama23boys, sorry to go OT a bit, but I am curious about how you are going about applying for an open card now, before your 3rd trimester? My clients always must wait until the 3rd trimester, so if there is another way, I'm excited to find out!!
i went to the WIC office and they have a program called Mothers Care so they take/process apps MUCH MUCH faster then the normal route. i did my paper work day before yesterday adn i need to call to see if im approved.

what i had to do was get a letter (on advice from the Mothers Care lady) from our local OBs office stating that the hospital was No VBACs. i was trying to get them to add that they are only allowed in Eugene adn Ashland but he wouldnt do it nor would he add that i refuse an unneccessry (at least as of right now) c-section and that he refuses to see. legally he cant refuse to see me instead what they do is basically consoule you and advise you in making the "correct" choice ie c-section by scare tactics. the nurse at the OB office in a round about way basically told me i was risking my life and my babies by having a HB. 2yrs ago i was told by L&D i was going kill my baby by having a HB. i dont want that kind of attiude around me at all and my MW was FANTASTIC!

so i am PRAYING that the letter worked. if not adn they put me on a plan i have to call and fight to get an open card or i try to get off it for now and go back on in the 3rd trimester.
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Old 01-10-2009, 12:30 PM
 
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Finally, I'm not sure if I want my ds there. I want him near by, but I'm not sure I want him in the room while I'm laboring, etc. The "mama bear" idea was new to me, and gives me one more reason to keep him close but not in the room. One reason to keep him near though is that my mw says bf is a great way to speed up a labor (lol! that's why I love my mw).
My children were always home when the babies were born, but they were sleeping. Pretty handy! My son was pretty sure for a few years that babies just somehow magically appear between when you go to bed at night and when you get up the next morning! We were living at someone else's house for our three home births, so I knew my mom-in-law or sister-in-law would be available if the other kids needed help during the birth.

My labours often seemed to pick way up as I was tucking the kids into bed at night. I wonder how things will be this time?!

Bfing during labour...it can be very intense! Strong, strong contractions. I remember nursing my second child before she went to sleep, and WOW, it was tricky to be able to keep still! But I am sure that it did get things moving pretty quick, because baby #3 was born really soon after that.

Carlyn - loving and caring for my family.
Married 13 years, mama to 12 (boy), 8, 6, 4, 1 (girls)
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Old 01-10-2009, 02:56 PM
 
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We're ready for our 4th homebirth, 2nd UP/UC. I'd prefer for it to be just us (dh and kids), but we are thinking of inviting a friend over to help with our youngest special needs child, since well, he has special needs, heh. Still mulling that over. I can't imagine not having my other kids there, though . . .we just feel like the whole family should be together to welcome the newest member!

Kelli, radical unschooling mama to four beautiful homebirthed lovies (ages 14, 9, 5, and 19 months) 
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Old 01-10-2009, 11:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ahhhh I just called my chosen midwife today (finally! I'm so behind....) to OFFICIALLY let her know that we wanted her at our homebirth. She sounded so so genuinely excited and can I just say that I LOOOOOVE her?!?! I also called my doula (assigned to me, but she's free so i can't complain... I suppose if I hate her I can ask for someone else) and we have our first meeting in a couple of weeks!!!

YAY! This is starting to feel real. I am even starting to get a little bump (although I think others will just think their personal trainer has not been following her own advice lately hahahaha).

I am so flipping excited about this birth! I am on the waiting list for a hypnobabies used copy, and I am on the list for the birth tub rental place for July.

HOORAY!!!
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