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#1 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 02:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How are you doing? I haven't "officially " choosen HB yet (meaning I just haven't told the midwife for sure)... but she said she doesn't like the see moms until 16 weeks to start, so I still have a few weeks. I suppose I should just call her though!

I've already gone through a huge journey to decide homebirth after my mom telling me I was trying to kill her grandchild by having homebirth and having to figure out financially how we can do this (we really CAN NOT afford it), but I just read "birthing from within" and just really examined my heart I *know* I must do this and will regret it if I don't.

Truthfully, I am more scared of bright lights, being stuck on a bed again, having random nurses in and out, no privacy, feeling inhibited to birth how i need to, being asked over and over if I'm ready from my epi, etc etc...

Our house is teeny tiny, not even sure it will fit a birthing tub, but we'll make it work, right??

How are you all doing? I'd love for us to be able to support each other through this journey.
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#2 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 04:00 PM
 
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I am here We are planning a UC, so a little different Our apt. isn't huge either, but i will move all the furniture if i need to, to fit the pool in Everything WILL work out Sorry about your mom I would put some boundaries up in that situation. This is what we have decided, and it is not up for discussion (something like that, i had to tell my mom too, she is pretty uncomfy with the idea of UC, and i havent even told the IL's yet-lol)

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#3 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 04:36 PM
 
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I am also UC'ing - but birthing at home nonetheless! I actually had a "conversation" with my baby and I got this weird feeling of where in my house I would give birth - I felt the overpowering urge to move my house around to accomodate what I saw...I feel extremely at peace now with my tiny apartment being the way I saw it - a huge stress reliever!

As far as money goes...it sucks! lol...In Canada, if I have a hospital birth with a doc - the hosptical and doc get money from the government, if I have a homebirth with mw - the mw get money, if I have a hospital birth with mw - they both get money...so I figure that if I am having a homebirth unassisted - I should get their money...government doesnt see it that way

Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013

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#4 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 05:37 PM
 
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DH just (today!) agreed to meet with a homebirth midwife, so we might be doing one...not sure yet...I really want to
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#5 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 06:05 PM
 
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I'm here too. This will be our 3rd HB so our family is pretty used to it by now. Though not always approving. My mom is wonderful, but DH's mother is always a skeptic. My father is the absolute worst. He questions everything we do, thinks our pre natal appointments are done in a dark cave and is pretty sure that everyone will die on the day of the birth. I know he is just being a dad, and he tries to keep it to himself, but I feel it.
But I feel very comfortable with our MW who also attended ds1 and was supposed to be there for ds2's birth, but didn't make it. I do love feeling that this community is so supportive of HB and I am totally subbing to this thread!!

Jessie. Mama to bikenew.gif(7) : broc1.gif(4) and : toddler.gif22 mo 

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#6 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 07:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by eli's mama View Post
I do love feeling that this community is so supportive of HB and I am totally subbing to this thread!!
I love that too! Seriously I have absolutely NO support or understanding in real life so it's so nice to come on here and feel "normal" about this kind of stuff haha.
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#7 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 07:33 PM
 
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We're slowly meanding our way along to our UC. I'm feeling more like I'm "really" pregnant now that my belly is bulging and I sometimes feel flutterings.

All this talk of family and their reactions to homebirth makes me cringe. My Mom, who is quite involved in our life, is totally on board with homebirth but doesn't know I'm planning to UP/UC. I don't think I'll be getting much support from her at all when I break the news, and I'll likely get lots of passive agressive jabs as is usually the case when I do things she disagrees with. Ah well, I'll just have to ignore it and look to the support I do have.

I weighed myself yesterday for the first time since getting pregnant and I was very happy to see that I'm up 4 lbs for the whole first trimester. After doing so well with losing weight this summer, I've been making poor food choices which I guess are kind of inevitable when you get into the fatigue and overall ickiness of the first trimester. I'd been worried that I'd already gained 10 lbs, so I'm happy with the much more reasonable gain that I've actually had.

Kim - Wife to Liam , Unschooly mama to Nick (10/00) Lily (09/05) and Olivia (07/09)
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#8 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 07:56 PM
 
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Me! I have my first appointment with my MW this Wed.! I'm excited! Not that there will be much to do besides draw blood and chat a bit, since I'll be just 13 wks. But, oh, it'll make this feel a bit more real somehow. And I've convinced DH that he either needs to watch the kids while I go to my appts or else come along to help out... I have visions of DD2 screaming on the floor while MW feels for fundus height.

No need to tell the family we're planning a homebirth, it's our 3rd and they're resigned to the idea by now. Unfortunately, my mom is the least supportive of all of them, and the one I wish would watch my kids during labor. She did agree to do it for DD2's birth though... but didn't make it on time... which was ok because DD1 slept through the birth and came in 5 minutes after her sister was born. Perfect!

Mama to 4 girls    chicken3.gif5/05, 12/07, 9/09, 3/11   winner.jpghomeschool.gifhomebirth.jpg

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#9 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 08:02 PM
 
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Me! I am excited and scared. :

My mom luckily was actually pretty cool. She is slightly skeptical, but overall supportive. I was surprised. My MIL we have not told. She had two (seemingly) unnecesarans, and thinks that Drs are gods.

I'm Kellie :, married to Chris , and mom to one baby girl (7/12/09).
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#10 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 08:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah... we probably won't tell anyone else until after the fact. My FIL is an OBGYN and they live far enough away that it's not going to "come up"... we see them a few times a year.
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#11 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 08:45 PM
 
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We're planning on our fourth home birth. The only problem is, we live outside the cachement of our midwifery practise, so they may not be able to make it to our place. We will have to have a back-up chosen where we could birth the baby. I'm hoping that it will work out to be at our house, but our other three homebirths were at other people's houses, so I am sure we can make it work again.

Our families are pretty comfortable with our decision to have the baby at home (2 of the babies were born at my parents-in-law's, the other at my sister-in-law's). But here in Ontario midwifery care is pretty standard. I just wish we had more to choose from, closer to home! At least I got one, I was so worried about that early in the pregnancy, it caused me to lose sleep for a few nights.

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#12 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 08:51 PM
 
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We're having a homebirth. DH and I are both excited about it. My DD was born in the hospital because we lived with my in-laws and there was no way I could have a HB in their house with them everywhere, disapproving. This time around we've set clear boundaries with comments over our birthing choices. No one in either of our families approves of homebirth. Too bad for them.

We saw the midwife we're going to use for an interview, just asked basic questions...mainly my DH settling any lingering fears. We have what she calls the screening appointment on the 12th of this month. I'm hoping we can hear the heart beat then, I'll be 12 weeks.

Homebirth with a midwife isn't legal in my state, so that complicates things a little. She has it worked out so that she can bill insurance after the birth, but you have to pay in full upfront before the birth. Then what the insurance covers you will get a refund check for. We have no clue where we are going to get the money. That's the only thing I am nervous about. I have my fingers crossed for a nice big tax return check!!

Momma to Sweet Rosie 7/06, Lost Baby J 1/09 at 12 weeks pregnant, Spitfire Ada born 4/21/10, and Baby Boy due July/August 2013!
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#13 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 09:06 PM
 
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I am planning a HB too.

We actually qualify for medicaid, but it doesn't cover it. So, I am planning to pay for half with my student loan, and half with our tax return.

My mom is very supportive, but my MIL is very medical oriented, so we are just not going to tell her until after the baby is born.

Also, I'm not sure "where" our home is going to be either. But my m/w said she'll travel anywhere in the area for me

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#14 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 09:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lindsayjean View Post
yeah... we probably won't tell anyone else until after the fact. My FIL is an OBGYN and they live far enough away that it's not going to "come up"... we see them a few times a year.
nice!

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#15 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 09:12 PM
 
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I'm not sure if I'll have a homebirth or not. My last 2 births were wonderful homebirths, but this time I am considering a hospital. We'll see. For now, I'm going to see an OB and my midwife, until I *know* what I'm meant to do.

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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#16 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 09:17 PM
 
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Yep, we will be having our second homebirth.
We tried crunchy hospitals, a mainstream hospital, birthcenter... there is nothing better than a homebirth!
Midwives are state funded, so thankfully money is not something we need to worry about. And yes, because they are paid by the state, you don't get to pick your midwife, but I am lucky that I like all the midwives I see.

I will need to see the hospital consultant once, and I am not looking forward to it because last time they spent 30 minutes trying to bully and scare me I to NOT having a homebirth (you know... I had so many kids that I am now a ticking time bomb and will bleed to death during labour )

Anyway, for those considering HB, GO FOR IT! There is no better place to give birth to your baby than at home!
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#17 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 09:24 PM
 
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We are either having our 3rd homebirth (one was unattended and one was midwife assisted) or we are having our first birth center birth. I'm not sure which I want yet. LOL. I'm leaning towards homebirth but we have my mom living with us and 4 kids hanging around. LOL. I like to be in solitude, left alone in labor. Wont happen with everyone in this house haha. But I cant imagine driving 40 minutes to the birth center and all that jazz. ughh..
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#18 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 09:41 PM
 
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This will be our first home birth! We have decided on a midwife and will probably start care within a couple of weeks. I am very happy with our choice and can't wait to start care.

Our midwife lives about 1.5 hours away from us, and we travel to her for most prenatal visits. She obviously comes to us for the birth and I am really looking forward to it.

Financially, it's tough. While we have been blessed in that we were recently approved for insurance that will reimburse us the cost of HB, we still have to pay the midwife, then she bills the insurance and they send us back the money. Is that a possibility for you? Many insurance companies will be hesitant unless you specifically say "A certified midwife in the state of ...." Check your options.

I wish you the best of luck... you CAN have a homebirth!

Amri- mama to Indica 12.08.06 and Kytan 04.04.10
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#19 of 55 Old 01-03-2009, 10:49 PM
 
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This will be my 2nd homebirth. I'm am really looking forward to it. My ds1 was born in the hospital and it was the most powerless I've ever felt. Birthing ds2 at home I always felt totally in control and afterwards just felt super! I'm really excited about doing it again.

Fortunately, I have a lot of friends who have hombirthed so there is a lot of support. My family is supportive as well, having seen that the last homebirth turned out just fine. And, my insurance covers everything except for a few supplies 100%. I think last time I ended paying $200 out of pocket, and most of that was for my birth tub, which I own now.

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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#20 of 55 Old 01-04-2009, 12:41 AM
 
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First time mom, first homebirth! It was a long road to making the decision to stay at home, I started reading up on pregnancy and birth almost 3 years ago, and we weren't even considering trying to conceive until a year from now (surprise!) I went from "are you kidding, I am so getting that epidural!" to "maybe I'll go natural at the hospital and they better not induce me" to "a birth center sounds like a good compromise" to finally "why would I want to go anywhere where their policy matters more than my personal circumstance when I could just stay home". I'd even feel ok ucing and agree with a lot of the uc philosophy.

We've had our midwife picked out from the beginning, because it's my MIL. A lot of women cringe at that, and obviously it wouldn't work for all families, but I really do like my in-laws, trust mil's knowledge and agree with her hands off philosophy for birth. It's a little complicated by the fact that we don't live in the same state, but her midwifery school is near us (they offer correspondence courses for a lot of things) and so she has referred me to some of her midwife friends in our area for whatever prenatal things I can't do myself/over the phone with her. I went to see a midwife near us for the initial bloodwork, and I am perfectly capable of measuring my fundus and peeing on the test strips she gave me. I'll either buy a blood pressure cuff or just go down to the walmart to check. We're staying with them now and had a little prenatal/childbirth class today and she'll be coming down a couple of times for various other things and to check up on me and sil who is also pregnant. One of the advantages of her not being licensed in our state is that she can't get in trouble for not administering eye ointment or delivering past due/breech/whatever variation of normal babies. And then you can't beat the price, since she's not charging us (bless her!) She'll come down to stay with us when I'm about 36 weeks and stay until a week after the birth.

Obviously the in-laws are down with the homebirth thing. I haven't really told my mom yet. I mentioned a thing or two when I was reading up on birth, and she knows MIL is a midwife, but her knee jerk reactions to the idea of homebirth were along the lines of "oh my gosh that's dangerous!" I'm hoping that when she learns more about it she'll be fine. My sister asked when we were there for christmas so I told her, she was curious about a few things as she had her three at the hospital, but was pretty chill. It's likely that she's told mom, but mom hasn't said anything to me about it at all yet.

Mommy to DS1 July '09 and DS2 Oct '12 and someone new in May '15

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#21 of 55 Old 01-04-2009, 02:18 AM
 
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i had a hb with a birth pool in my 350 sq. ft home. it took the whole living room. my dould moved the furniture around a few days before my expected due date and set up the pool (my labors are FAST) and we all fit ok. i mean, its not like you are entertainig or having a dinner party. folks are not there to be dancing, kwim? im thrilled to be dong it again, and maye in the hot tub this time? were gonna clean it out and fill it up. we have lots of privacy out there so it wouldny be too weird to be birthing in the yard.
my family was definately less than supportive of my hb the last time but i think once they heard how awesome it was, they mellowed out and for this baby, they havent said one negative thing. in fact, nobody has asked where the babe will be born. i think they know...
i had my first babe in the hospital with all the drugs and episiotomy...very scary. #2 was supposed to be a birth center biirth but ended up in the e.r. becuse it was sooo fast. # 3 was my home birth child and a very nice delivery. im excited for this one!

joyful mama to DS 2-05, open adoption birthmama to DD 5-07: and DS 6-98, and my littlest one 7-09. crazy in love with DH!
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#22 of 55 Old 01-04-2009, 02:45 AM
 
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We are planning our second home birth. I can't fathom doing it any other way

Mama to DS (6/07) h20homebirth.gif, DD (6/09) h20homebirth.gif, and DD (07/12) homebirth.jpg..

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#23 of 55 Old 01-04-2009, 12:36 PM
 
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Homebirthing!!! YAY!!!!

I planned a Hb with Abrielle and after 36 hours of labor I transferred for some pitocin and then an epidural. As hospital births go, it went well. I was allowed to move and had a CNM but it was not what I wanted.

My HB crew is fantastic this time. I KNOW this baby will come out at home!

I'm reading Ina MAy Gaskins book right now and it's VERY helpful!!!!! Making me feel empowered...
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#24 of 55 Old 01-04-2009, 03:22 PM
 
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I'm having this baby at home! Ds was born at home, a planned UC but we ended up calling a midwife friend of mine after about 40 hours of labor, but she only arrived in time to see him crowning.

This time, I'm having an attended unassisted birth. I'm having 2 of my good friends there who happen to be midwives, but will not be acting as midwives unless something out of the ordinary pops up. I don't want them listening to baby or anything like. One of them has the job to take pictures of the labor and birth. The other one will be there to take care of my ds and dh (getting them water, food, etc). But mostly I want them to stay in another room.

Mama to ds#1 (7) and a ds#2 (1 1/2)
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#25 of 55 Old 01-04-2009, 06:11 PM
 
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We are planning our first homebirth. I qualify for medicaid and there is a great midwifery practice here that accepts medicaid for homebirths. Medicaid will cover everything except for $1,000. We also have to pay for our own birth tub and all the accesories we will need for that. But, all in all the cost will still be very manageable.

Our first birth was at a free standing birth center and it was great. I loved my midwife and felt at home at the birth center. I would say it was as close as you could get to a home birth w/o being at home.

This time around we are living in a new area and there is no birth center. But that is not the reason that we are choosing home birth. After we had such an amazing experience with our first birth going so well without any drugs or intervention, we knew that we could do a home birth this time.

To the original poster: Have you looked into birth centers in your area? You could have more of the birthing environment your looking for and they usually take medicaid and insurance. And, I also just read Birthing from Within. It is such an amazing book!!! Good luck to you!

Bethany ~ Mama of two wonderful boys ♥ ♥  Wife to one amazing man ♥

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#26 of 55 Old 01-04-2009, 07:25 PM
 
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We're having a homebirth after an accidental UC for #3. It went great and DH was awesome through the whole thing but I think we'd both feel more comfortable with a m/w there to assist this time.

My m/w has a birth tub we can use at no charge but I'm not sure if we'll use that, my own tub or not do a waterbirth. I was so attached to the idea last time but this time I'm thinking a birth stool might be the fastest and easiest thing for me.

Full-time homeschooling mama : of a 15yo "teenager" , 12yo DIVA, 9yo builder, & 4yo treasure.
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#27 of 55 Old 01-05-2009, 02:20 AM
 
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Hi there! I'm having a homebirth too. My son was born in a hospital 2 years ago, completely naturally. We didn't get to the hospital until I was ready to push, so it was pretty easy. But now that I've done this before, it seems so much easier and calmer to just stay at home. I'm really excited! I was giddy about the thought of a homebirth before I even knew I was pregnant this time.

We've told friends our plans. They haven't been unsupportive of it, but we can tell they don't necessarily approve. We haven't told our families our plans yet though. My mom was aghast at the idea that I wanted to have a natural birth last time, so I'm sure the idea of a homebirth will be quite strange to her.

Anyway, nice to meet you all! I haven't posted in this forum before.
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#28 of 55 Old 01-05-2009, 06:21 PM
 
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Hi everyone. I would like to join in the chat. This will be my 1st hb and 3rd baby. This pregnancy is flying by even faster than my previous 2. I can not believe that I am already 13w. I will feel more relaxed about this birth after we have the u/s around 20w. My second baby was split footling breech and would not turn. We think that this was due to a short cord and placenta placement. I had a c/s at 41w5d. I know that there is nothing that I can do about placenta placement, but that is the only thing that I am worried about that would prevent my hb (and another footling breech baby). I am just so ready for an uneventful pregnancy and delivery or at least things that I can at least do something about (successfully that is).

On another note, we are not going to find out what the baby is this time around. Last pregnancy, we had a final u/s before the c/s and we caved to curiosity. Stupid I know - I was only an hour before I knew with my own eyes. This time, I must be strong .
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#29 of 55 Old 01-05-2009, 06:50 PM
 
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I'm hoping to have a HB, but DH is not on board yet. He is still on the fence and worried about "what if something goes wrong". I've got to do my research, and am feeling a little bit overwhelmed right now!
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#30 of 55 Old 01-06-2009, 01:30 AM
 
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We're also planning our first homebirth (second baby) DD was a mostly natural hospital birth, but I'm really excited this time to have the baby at home.

I do have a question for you ladies, though...

I realize that, as a homebirther, I take on a certain responsibility and understanding of the potential risks. And, DH and I are both totally on board for the homebirth and understand that for us it is a safer environment than the hospital. But there is still that nagging voice in the back of my head that says "what if?", you know? It's hard to get past that, besides the fact that if anything DID happen, our family and friends would blame the fact that we were at home, whether that had anything to do with it or not. I fully anticipate a beautiful and amazing homebirth, and am fully committed to the idea, but how do I get past the brainwashing that the hospital is inherently "safer" ~ I realize that this is due to society's influence, but it's pretty powerful...

I want to be confident and excited Anyone else feel the same way?

Sarah, loving wife to Michael (9/6/03), SAHM to my big girl Maya "Monkey" Grace (10/5/07) and my baby girl Charlotte "Bugsy" Mae (7/2/09) : :
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