I've already gone through a huge journey to decide homebirth after my mom telling me I was trying to kill her grandchild by having homebirth and having to figure out financially how we can do this (we really CAN NOT afford it), but I just read "birthing from within" and just really examined my heart I *know* I must do this and will regret it if I don't.
Truthfully, I am more scared of bright lights, being stuck on a bed again, having random nurses in and out, no privacy, feeling inhibited to birth how i need to, being asked over and over if I'm ready from my epi, etc etc...
Our house is teeny tiny, not even sure it will fit a birthing tub, but we'll make it work, right??
How are you all doing? I'd love for us to be able to support each other through this journey.
Jackie and Rafael (4/15/04)
DS (4/25/05) my unschooled airbending pokemon wizard
DD (10/05/06) my spirited pixie, who weaned at 3 yrs 10 months
DD (7/27/09) my UC water baby - I mean toddler!
DS (2/21/12) UC #2! My littlest love
As far as money goes...it sucks! lol...In Canada, if I have a hospital birth with a doc - the hosptical and doc get money from the government, if I have a homebirth with mw - the mw get money, if I have a hospital birth with mw - they both get money...so I figure that if I am having a homebirth unassisted - I should get their money...government doesnt see it that way
Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013
But I feel very comfortable with our MW who also attended ds1 and was supposed to be there for ds2's birth, but didn't make it. I do love feeling that this community is so supportive of HB and I am totally subbing to this thread!!
Jessie. Mama to (7) : (4) and : 22 mo
All this talk of family and their reactions to homebirth makes me cringe. My Mom, who is quite involved in our life, is totally on board with homebirth but doesn't know I'm planning to UP/UC. I don't think I'll be getting much support from her at all when I break the news, and I'll likely get lots of passive agressive jabs as is usually the case when I do things she disagrees with. Ah well, I'll just have to ignore it and look to the support I do have.
I weighed myself yesterday for the first time since getting pregnant and I was very happy to see that I'm up 4 lbs for the whole first trimester. After doing so well with losing weight this summer, I've been making poor food choices which I guess are kind of inevitable when you get into the fatigue and overall ickiness of the first trimester. I'd been worried that I'd already gained 10 lbs, so I'm happy with the much more reasonable gain that I've actually had.
No need to tell the family we're planning a homebirth, it's our 3rd and they're resigned to the idea by now. Unfortunately, my mom is the least supportive of all of them, and the one I wish would watch my kids during labor. She did agree to do it for DD2's birth though... but didn't make it on time... which was ok because DD1 slept through the birth and came in 5 minutes after her sister was born. Perfect!
Mama to 4 girls 5/05, 12/07, 9/09, 3/11
My mom luckily was actually pretty cool. She is slightly skeptical, but overall supportive. I was surprised. My MIL we have not told. She had two (seemingly) unnecesarans, and thinks that Drs are gods.
Our families are pretty comfortable with our decision to have the baby at home (2 of the babies were born at my parents-in-law's, the other at my sister-in-law's). But here in Ontario midwifery care is pretty standard. I just wish we had more to choose from, closer to home! At least I got one, I was so worried about that early in the pregnancy, it caused me to lose sleep for a few nights.
Married 13 years, mama to 12 (boy), 8, 6, 4, 1 (girls)
We saw the midwife we're going to use for an interview, just asked basic questions...mainly my DH settling any lingering fears. We have what she calls the screening appointment on the 12th of this month. I'm hoping we can hear the heart beat then, I'll be 12 weeks.
Homebirth with a midwife isn't legal in my state, so that complicates things a little. She has it worked out so that she can bill insurance after the birth, but you have to pay in full upfront before the birth. Then what the insurance covers you will get a refund check for. We have no clue where we are going to get the money. That's the only thing I am nervous about. I have my fingers crossed for a nice big tax return check!!
Momma to Sweet Rosie 7/06, Lost Baby J 1/09 at 12 weeks pregnant, Spitfire Ada born 4/21/10, and Baby Boy due July/August 2013!
Aspiring urban homesteader, photographer, homeschooling momma! Blog link in my profile.
We actually qualify for medicaid, but it doesn't cover it. So, I am planning to pay for half with my student loan, and half with our tax return.
My mom is very supportive, but my MIL is very medical oriented, so we are just not going to tell her until after the baby is born.
Also, I'm not sure "where" our home is going to be either. But my m/w said she'll travel anywhere in the area for me
The Hippie & the Marine
My boys: S (4) & O (2) & Expecting #3 in Dec. 2011
The Hippie & the Marine
My boys: S (4) & O (2) & Expecting #3 in Dec. 2011
We tried crunchy hospitals, a mainstream hospital, birthcenter... there is nothing better than a homebirth!
Midwives are state funded, so thankfully money is not something we need to worry about. And yes, because they are paid by the state, you don't get to pick your midwife, but I am lucky that I like all the midwives I see.
I will need to see the hospital consultant once, and I am not looking forward to it because last time they spent 30 minutes trying to bully and scare me I to NOT having a homebirth (you know... I had so many kids that I am now a ticking time bomb and will bleed to death during labour )
Anyway, for those considering HB, GO FOR IT! There is no better place to give birth to your baby than at home!
Our midwife lives about 1.5 hours away from us, and we travel to her for most prenatal visits. She obviously comes to us for the birth and I am really looking forward to it.
Financially, it's tough. While we have been blessed in that we were recently approved for insurance that will reimburse us the cost of HB, we still have to pay the midwife, then she bills the insurance and they send us back the money. Is that a possibility for you? Many insurance companies will be hesitant unless you specifically say "A certified midwife in the state of ...." Check your options.
I wish you the best of luck... you CAN have a homebirth!
Fortunately, I have a lot of friends who have hombirthed so there is a lot of support. My family is supportive as well, having seen that the last homebirth turned out just fine. And, my insurance covers everything except for a few supplies 100%. I think last time I ended paying $200 out of pocket, and most of that was for my birth tub, which I own now.
We've had our midwife picked out from the beginning, because it's my MIL. A lot of women cringe at that, and obviously it wouldn't work for all families, but I really do like my in-laws, trust mil's knowledge and agree with her hands off philosophy for birth. It's a little complicated by the fact that we don't live in the same state, but her midwifery school is near us (they offer correspondence courses for a lot of things) and so she has referred me to some of her midwife friends in our area for whatever prenatal things I can't do myself/over the phone with her. I went to see a midwife near us for the initial bloodwork, and I am perfectly capable of measuring my fundus and peeing on the test strips she gave me. I'll either buy a blood pressure cuff or just go down to the walmart to check. We're staying with them now and had a little prenatal/childbirth class today and she'll be coming down a couple of times for various other things and to check up on me and sil who is also pregnant. One of the advantages of her not being licensed in our state is that she can't get in trouble for not administering eye ointment or delivering past due/breech/whatever variation of normal babies. And then you can't beat the price, since she's not charging us (bless her!) She'll come down to stay with us when I'm about 36 weeks and stay until a week after the birth.
Obviously the in-laws are down with the homebirth thing. I haven't really told my mom yet. I mentioned a thing or two when I was reading up on birth, and she knows MIL is a midwife, but her knee jerk reactions to the idea of homebirth were along the lines of "oh my gosh that's dangerous!" I'm hoping that when she learns more about it she'll be fine. My sister asked when we were there for christmas so I told her, she was curious about a few things as she had her three at the hospital, but was pretty chill. It's likely that she's told mom, but mom hasn't said anything to me about it at all yet.
Mommy to DS1 July '09 and DS2 Oct '12
my family was definately less than supportive of my hb the last time but i think once they heard how awesome it was, they mellowed out and for this baby, they havent said one negative thing. in fact, nobody has asked where the babe will be born. i think they know...
i had my first babe in the hospital with all the drugs and episiotomy...very scary. #2 was supposed to be a birth center biirth but ended up in the e.r. becuse it was sooo fast. # 3 was my home birth child and a very nice delivery. im excited for this one!
joyful mama to DS 2-05, open adoption birthmama to DD 5-07: and DS 6-98, and my littlest one 7-09. crazy in love with DH!
I planned a Hb with Abrielle and after 36 hours of labor I transferred for some pitocin and then an epidural. As hospital births go, it went well. I was allowed to move and had a CNM but it was not what I wanted.
My HB crew is fantastic this time. I KNOW this baby will come out at home!
I'm reading Ina MAy Gaskins book right now and it's VERY helpful!!!!! Making me feel empowered...
This time, I'm having an attended unassisted birth. I'm having 2 of my good friends there who happen to be midwives, but will not be acting as midwives unless something out of the ordinary pops up. I don't want them listening to baby or anything like. One of them has the job to take pictures of the labor and birth. The other one will be there to take care of my ds and dh (getting them water, food, etc). But mostly I want them to stay in another room.
Our first birth was at a free standing birth center and it was great. I loved my midwife and felt at home at the birth center. I would say it was as close as you could get to a home birth w/o being at home.
This time around we are living in a new area and there is no birth center. But that is not the reason that we are choosing home birth. After we had such an amazing experience with our first birth going so well without any drugs or intervention, we knew that we could do a home birth this time.
To the original poster: Have you looked into birth centers in your area? You could have more of the birthing environment your looking for and they usually take medicaid and insurance. And, I also just read Birthing from Within. It is such an amazing book!!! Good luck to you!
Bethany ~ Mama of two wonderful boys ♥ ♥ Wife to one amazing man ♥
Massage Therapist ~ Doula ~ Student Midwife
My m/w has a birth tub we can use at no charge but I'm not sure if we'll use that, my own tub or not do a waterbirth. I was so attached to the idea last time but this time I'm thinking a birth stool might be the fastest and easiest thing for me.
We've told friends our plans. They haven't been unsupportive of it, but we can tell they don't necessarily approve. We haven't told our families our plans yet though. My mom was aghast at the idea that I wanted to have a natural birth last time, so I'm sure the idea of a homebirth will be quite strange to her.
Anyway, nice to meet you all! I haven't posted in this forum before.
On another note, we are not going to find out what the baby is this time around. Last pregnancy, we had a final u/s before the c/s and we caved to curiosity. Stupid I know - I was only an hour before I knew with my own eyes. This time, I must be strong .
I do have a question for you ladies, though...
I realize that, as a homebirther, I take on a certain responsibility and understanding of the potential risks. And, DH and I are both totally on board for the homebirth and understand that for us it is a safer environment than the hospital. But there is still that nagging voice in the back of my head that says "what if?", you know? It's hard to get past that, besides the fact that if anything DID happen, our family and friends would blame the fact that we were at home, whether that had anything to do with it or not. I fully anticipate a beautiful and amazing homebirth, and am fully committed to the idea, but how do I get past the brainwashing that the hospital is inherently "safer" ~ I realize that this is due to society's influence, but it's pretty powerful...
I want to be confident and excited Anyone else feel the same way?