I need to make a tough decision. Any input appreciated! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 12:49 PM
 
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No advice here, just hugs. I'm so sorry you are going through this and I have no idea what I would do in your situation. Know that you are in my thoughts.
((((HUGS)))

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#32 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 02:42 PM
 
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Sorry to jump in here again, but I have been thinkng about you. I know we can only help you so much, and you have probably had a long 24 hours already discussing this with your family. I wanted to share one more thing.

I got very, very sick when ds was a toddler. Not cancer, but something that is very panful and hard on the body (crohn's). Even though I know that I could knock it out right away with steriods, I choose to only go on a half dose so that I could keep breastfeeding ds as we were going through a really ahrd time for other reasons and I thought it would be awful to take away the breast at a moment like that.

I would have to say it was one of the worst choices I have ever made in my life, and if I had it to do over again, I would take the drugs in a second. I ended up so sick that I could hardley move for a year. I had to stop bfing him two months later anyways, and I was in so much pain I was not a good mother. By the time I went on the full steriods I was too sick for them to help. So I went through a year of trying a bunch of different drugs, and ended up on a intense infusion that I had to do every few weeks (like chemo).

I think it is best to remember that we should do our best when we are able to for our children. That nothing is absolute. If you gave the choice to your child when they are an adult, what do you think they would pick? It is way too risky for you, imo, and that means risky to your baby's welfare while growing up.

Let us know how else we could support you!
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#33 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 04:02 PM
 
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I'm DDC crashing...

Babies born at 32-34 weeks are less likely to have a NICU stay than babies born at 35-36 weeks, statistically. Just some food for thought.

Could you wait to induce until 37-38 weeks? I know with Cancer it's very serious and you want to get to it asap, but I think 2-3 weeks could make a huge difference for your little one.

You also have to think that if your body is not favorable for an induction, an induction will just NOT work. Then you will have a C section, making recovery harder and further complicating your surgery for the cancer, I am assuming. All important things to think about. I am so so sorry your going through this. I am not sure you are religious, but you will be in my thoughts and prayers mama.
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#34 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 04:23 PM
 
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I am sorry, but I think the this mama knows very well that evicting the baby before he/she is ready is not ideal. No need to remind her of statistics and numbers.
Her case is extraordinary, and what is best for the baby ultimately, is to have a healthy mama for for many years to come.
I too know of people whose cancer develop faster than thy could have imagine. There really isn't any time to waste. 2-3 weeks may make all the difference!
Your baby will be just fine born now mama! Don't feel bad if induction is the choice you need to take, even if it ends up in c-section.

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#35 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 04:30 PM
 
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I am sorry, but I think the this mama knows very well that evicting the baby before he/she is ready is not ideal. No need to remind her of statistics and numbers.
Her case is extraordinary, and what is best for the baby ultimately, is to have a healthy mama for for many years to come.
I too know of people whose cancer develop faster than thy could have imagine. There really isn't any time to waste. 2-3 weeks may make all the difference!
Your baby will be just fine born now mama! Don't feel bad if induction is the choice you need to take, even if it ends up in c-section.

I'm sorry, I was not trying to be rude, She asked for imput as she has not made her decision yet and I wanted to offer something that could sway her decision. I myself did not KNOW that statistic. She is ASKING for suggestions, is she not? Offering a suggestion with no facts is not really helpful in my eyes.

And ending up with a C SECTION may delay her goal of getting at teh cancer faster than she would if she went naturally. That would defeat the purpose of the induction.
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#36 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 04:35 PM
 
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I would do all I could to get the cancer. Even induce a slightly early baby. I had DD 100% naturally (although it was a surprise!) at 36 weeks, and she was born pink, breathing, and happy. So 36 weeks is not that bad, IMO.

Your baby is coming very soon no matter what- and she needs a mom. I would do what I needed to do to make sure she has one. She is not going to care what kind of birth she had if she doesn't have you.
I second this comment.

Kristin

Mama to Laurel '06 & high needs Will '09
Crunchy in mainstream suburbia | Sleep-deprived WAHM
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#37 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 05:40 PM
 
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Oh, what a difficult decision. I can't say what I would do. At first I was leaning one way and then I was leaning the other. I wanted to say that I donated 3 gallons of milk to the Austin Milk Bank while bfing my ds, and if bfing becomes a major issue, they might be a good option. I know I would be concerned that an early baby really needs breast milk, but that your testing and treatment might make that difficult, so I wanted to be sure that you know about the milk bank.

My heart is with you. It seems to me that you and your dh just have to make the best decision you can with the information you have now and then not second guess it.


Bed sharing, baby wearing, breastfeeding mama of Vonn (dob 12/9/07) and Reuben (dob 7/17/09).
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#38 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 06:41 PM
 
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I would induce, even if it ends in a section. Without even blinking.

Good luck with your decision.
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#39 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 06:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for all of the input. I have read through all of the responses and my husband and I have been talking about it a great deal. It's definitely one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make. I am also going to talk with my midwife at our appointment on Wednesday.

I think that we have decided to go ahead and induce. I will not induce before 37 weeks, so I have a couple of weeks at least. We will be getting referred to an OB by our midwife, so I will be more comfortable with them than just some random OB. I really don't want to do this, but I also don't want to potentially wait 7 weeks and then a week or two after that. I want to be able to breastfeed as much as possible before the surgery and hopefully we can stock up on some donated breastmilk for the couple days that I can't breastfeed. My surgeon told me that after 48 hours after the surgery I should be ok to breastfeed, I just need to pump for those two days to get all that milk out.
If I end up in a c/s it will not affect my surgery. I will still be able to go in for the surgery, although my recovery will not be easy.
I am really heartbroken that I have to make my decision. I have thought about waiting and I just can't justify waiting because of the what if's. I have very good odds that it hasn't spread, but there's that small chance that it could have already spread, and if I was that small chance and I decided to wait I would beat myself up over the fact that I could have probably made it a lot easier for myself and baby by just getting it over with. It's true that baby needs a mom, and I need to be able to be a mom. This baby is our life!

Elijah Mercury (7/2009), TTC #2 with my new soon to be DH! Tattooed, 29 year old cancer survivor! treehugger.gif

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#40 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 06:59 PM
 
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fawnanddoe- you are in my thoughts and prayers. Only you can make this decision, and of course it's not an easy one. Trust yourself, you know what's best for you and baby!

SAHM (32)  Married to a bearded hunk (28) , DS  11/00, DD  06/09, two  in 2013,the final piece to our puzzle   is due 12/14
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#41 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 07:06 PM
 
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clearly i am not in your due date club but i am gonna post a response anyway. i know how hard this is!

i don't have any advice other then if it were me, i would induce and get everything taken care of as soon as possible. which is totally not what you wanted, but also, i know everyone who has a plan also plans for the unexpected.

i was born at....30 weeks, if that makes you feel any better. i was fine and that was 30 years ago!

SAHM to Coraline Mae, born 09/16/09. Expecting #2 10/04!
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#42 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 07:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by fawnanddoe View Post
I think that we have decided to go ahead and induce. I will not induce before 37 weeks, so I have a couple of weeks at least.
I just want you to know that I support your decision and I hope you know that if you need anything that I can do for you, I will certainly help. I know I live a LONG way from you but if you need something I can provide... let me know. PLEASE!

Angela lactivist.gif, married for 14 1/2 years to DHtwins.gif, mother to DD 8-5-97homeschool.gif, DS 8-5-09 uc.jpgbabyf.gif, and SURPRISE!!! pos.gif due 2-17-12

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#43 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 08:18 PM
 
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I am glad you decided and I will be thinking of you. It is a good choice for you, your family, and your new baby. Best wishes!
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#44 of 49 Old 05-30-2009, 08:32 PM
 
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Hopefully this decision brings you much needed and deserved peace. We'll be praying for you and sending uber fast healing vibes.

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#45 of 49 Old 05-31-2009, 03:46 PM
 
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I am sorry that you've had to make this difficult decision, but I'm am thrilled for you that you have a surgeon who is giving you such good information about your ability to BF relatively soon after your procedure. You're going to be a great mama and your little one is so blessed to have a mom who will do for her what I'm sure you will.
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#46 of 49 Old 05-31-2009, 07:14 PM
 
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I am so sorry that you are going through this and that you have had to make such a tough decision. I am with most people (and you) that, given the circumstances, I would induce early in order to have the surgery earlier. That's awesome that you will still be able to breastfeed your baby!

I know that this wasn't in your plans, but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Please let us know your induction date so that we can be sending you our thoughts and prayers!

Sarah, loving wife to Michael (9/6/03), SAHM to my big girl Maya "Monkey" Grace (10/5/07) and my baby girl Charlotte "Bugsy" Mae (7/2/09) : :
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#47 of 49 Old 05-31-2009, 10:14 PM
 
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I would make the same decision you are, just to be on the safe side- for both of you!

I had melanoma 5 years ago and had a couple of lymph nodes removed and biopsied during my surgery (the moles were on my upper back so possibly the same underarm lymph nodes they will want to check on you, since yours is on your chest?). Thankfully, they were clear. And thankfully it was caught early as I've had mole checks every year since I was a kid. My melanoma was stage I.

I also had a PET scan before the surgery to make sure there was no cancer anywhere else.

It sounds like you have a good prognosis and I hope all goes well with the birth and the surgery and your nodes are clear. I don't know if I can be of any help but if you have any questions about my melanoma surgery I would be happy to answer!

Hang in there! What a stressful time for you.

Mama to a sweet 12/06 girl fairy.gif and a squishy 8/09 boy biggrinbounce.gif
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#48 of 49 Old 06-01-2009, 12:51 AM
 
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Hugs, mama. I am sorry that you are having to make such a difficult decision. I hope that you feel at peace with your decision. You and your baby are in my thoughts.
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#49 of 49 Old 06-01-2009, 07:34 PM
 
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My prayers are with you and your babe!! I think you are doing the right thing to induce...
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