When I was pregnant with our son (first and as of now only child) it had been planned, and DH went to every appointment and was very good to me while I was pregnant. Yet, he had little to no interest in feeling the baby move or other aspects of the pregnancy. He didn't read up on birthing and was little support to me while I labored (this time I hired a doula for that exact reason). I think that for men it's really hard to understand that there is a real baby growing inside of the woman. Heck, it's hard for me to truly believe there is a little human being inside of me, and I'm the one carrying it!
That being said, my husband is an outstanding father. He's a stay-at-home-dad who makes his own work hours. He's been at home while I work a "regular" full time job for our son's entire almost 5 year life. They have an unbelievable bond - I couldn't ask for someone to be a better parent to my son. Our son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at 6 months old. Most parents of kids with diabetes have the mom do all the work - many times the father doesn't know how to dose for insulin or even check blood sugars because it always falls on the mother to do the work in caring for the children. Not so with my husband - we share all the responsibilities equally, including all the diabetes stuff. I am blessed.
This time around, again a planned pregnancy, same thing. Heck, he's not even planning on being in the delivery room because he just has no interest in watching me go through it again. I think that might worry or upset me if I didn't know what kind of father he is.
I have a male friend at work who described basically the same to me about himself - that he just didn't know he loved his kids until they were born. The second they are born he falls in love with them - but before that it's just intangible.
I don't know if any of that makes you feel better. My point is that how a man is during pregnancy may not necessarily be an indicator of the type of parent they are (if that's what you were worried about).