I can't believe she is going to be a few days early. I have been told so many times that it wasn't likely as she is my first. She isn't due till Tuesday though.
Caretaker of two strange cats Pippin and Sylvie
Bethany ~ Mama of two wonderful boys ♥ ♥ Wife to one amazing man ♥
Massage Therapist ~ Doula ~ Student Midwife
As I had said before my water broke at about 5:30 Saturday morning. Active labor did not start however until around 5:00 p.m. In the meantime I was just getting some things ready for the birth and the baby and enjoying the special day with my husband. My midwives had me try some natural methods to get labor going and then a bit later they had me take a labor tincture they had given me a few times. When labor finally did get going my doula came over followed shortly by the first of our midwives. I was having pretty regular contractions by then (about 4 mins apart) and some were getting very strong. For the most part they were in my back. The midwife checked the baby's heat rate and it was wonderful. She also did an internal exam and was a bit surprised by how soft the baby's head felt, however since the heart beat was defiantly low down in the stomach she thought that the baby was probably turning its head a bit so that it was the face she was feeling. At that point it was about 9 pm and I was 2cms and 75% effaced. She called the other midwife who started heading down to give a second opinion on the baby's position. Now my contractions started coming quicker and they were getting more and more intense. I had my mother come over for support and my husband started looking for a way to get the birth pool filled. When the second midwife arrived at around 11:30 she unfortunately confirmed what my first one had feared, that it seemed that the baby was coming butt first. They then suggested that we go into the hospital and get an ultrasound done to be sure. I was devastated. They did call the hospital before we went though and were given the impression by the midwife there that if it was a frank breach a vaginal birth was still a possibility. So we went in. The ultrasound confirmed that the baby was indeed butt first; her heart beat however was still perfect. I was by this time 6 cms dilated and though I was still working my way through the pain ok I was terrified to be at the hospital. Unfortunately it was at this point that we were told that they were infact not willing to attempt a breach birth, that none of the doctors on were qualified to do so and that a cesarean was my only option. I can't explain to you how I felt...I'm sure many of you can imagine. They whisked me off to a labor room and were shoving forms in my face and talking policy at me while I was going through intense contractions (I was 8cms dilated by now) and was crying and thoroughly terrified. Besides the normal sorrow pain and fear I have also never had surgery in my life, never been admitted to a hospital, never even had an IV. I don't know how I got through all of this; certainly the support of my husband, mother, doula and midwives was essential. I could not have done it otherwise. The hospital staff was very inconsiderate; I had become a case to them, an inanimate object to be worked on. My midwife had to practically herd them out of the room just to get them to give me 1 min of quiet to try to somewhat cope with everything. When we got down to the or I was 9cms dilated and in heavy transition. They at first wouldn't let anyone in with me for the spinal but fortunately my mother convinced the anesthesiologist that he needed to let her in. I think he gave in because she is a nurse herself. It was a good thing because that only way I got through that was by gripping onto her. Anyway to finish this incredibly long story, my husband switched in after the spinal and they delivered our baby by c-section at 4:29 Sunday morning. She is completely beautiful and wonderful, and we love her to death. I am still stunned at how everything turned out. We got home from the hospital today and I am so happy to be home but wish so much that I wasn't so enfeebled and could just enjoy being here with the baby. I know that will come in time and none of this will matter. The truly important thing is she is healthy. What gets to me the most is that I know we could have had her naturally. I could have gotten through labor, I was so close to the end and she was doing very well.
Anyway, sorry to write such a long story. I don't mean to sound so negative, I feel truly blessed to have my baby. I guess I am just thinking about it all a little more now that I am home again and see what could have been
Here are some pictures of our little beauty.
Her name is Juliette Elora and she is so very precious and wonderful. We are both blown away by her :
Caretaker of two strange cats Pippin and Sylvie
I'm so sorry your birth had to go the route it did. I truly hope that you can enjoy your babymoon and find a way towards a healing path. Maybe the Healing Birth Trauma forum might help in time.
Take care of yourself mama, and enjoy that little girl.
Angela , married for 14 1/2 years to DH, mother to DD 8-5-97, DS 8-5-09 , and SURPRISE!!! due 2-17-12
Jordana, mama to almost 8 year old Evan, 3 year old Atticus, and 1 year old Tabitha - my gifts from heaven
What a lucky little girl she is to have a mom who planned such a loving birth experience and who labored so hard until the last minute just because you knew it was the best for all of you. I agree with the PP how it is clear how well you shielded your baby from the negativity of the people there!
Nowadays it is nearly impossible to find professionals who are willing to attend a breech birth, particularly if it is a surprise breech. So if you were to begin imagining "what if"s, the surgery as an outcome would have been the same.
The lack of compassion and beside manners displayed by hospital personal is inexcusable, and when you have the energy you may consider writing them a letter of complain.
In the meantime, enjoy your babymoon! She is really a princess and her name suits her so well!
I am sorry your birth did not go as planned. I had a c-section with my first and it took me a long time to heal from the trauma. Please let me know if you need support. I am happy to be there.
Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 , DD 07/09 , and DS2 06/11 . Feeling more and more blessed with each day!
Who knows what might have happened if you had tried to birth her vaginally, with the lower heartbeat, etc.
Try not to dwell on the fact that you had a c-section in the end. You made it a long way through her birth and did the right thing.
Be proud, you are a strong mama!
ashley medschool mama, married to my sweetie , mama to edie q born 07/09 and "bean #2" due 12/12 , loving our life!
If you feel you need it, ICAN is a good international organization that helps women who've had c-sections. There are local chapters/ support groups and some women I think find them really helpful in healing from the trauma. I know the woman who runs our local chapter and she is amazing.
Heal fast and enjoy your baby!