Anyone else feeling anti-social? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 07-06-2009, 05:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been wanting to hole up more and more lately. I don't have much desire to hang out with friends lately and most interactions with neighbors and acquaintances just leave me feeling pissed off DH commented that he is also feeling this way too. We backed out of 4th of July plans because we didn't want to be around people and even when we were out with friends on Friday, we were just wanting to get home. It didn't help that there were pregnancy police giving me dirty looks for sipping my glass of wine :.

I am sick of explaining when I am due (I refuse to give people a "due date"), I'm sick of their comments on how I shouldn't be so active and all the negative stories about pain and drugs and scary situations. I know it is possible that I may need drugs- do they have to belittle my intentions of natural childbirth? Do I have to be told I look "small" or "uncomfortable" or "you must be feeling awful!"? Do I have to be warned about how life will "change so drastically" and how "the fun is over"???? :::

I just feel so confrontational and crab-ass! This is not like me but I don't feel like caring about it. Please tell me that this is normal labor prep or something and I'm not becoming a snarky lil' b*tch

Mum to DS1 7/09 and DS2 5/11

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#2 of 17 Old 07-06-2009, 05:36 PM
 
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I am on that train too! I crapped out on the fireworks on Saturday and a big party on the third. My sil's second wedding is on friday and I am hoping to go into/be in labor because I just don't want to field anymore homebirth questions. I'm done discussing anything with anyone. My grandma made the you won't get a medal blah blah blah comment a few weeks ago and has called and left messages since, but I haven't returned them. I want to hide in my home until this baby arrives. At least we all have each other.

:,,:, to my three veggie ladies 12/09/05, : 10/03/07 & 07/10/09 hanging on for dear life to :
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#3 of 17 Old 07-06-2009, 05:48 PM
 
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When the only tops that cover my belly all the way` are my DH's t-shirts because my belly sticks out so far, it kind of limits things socially (which, by the way, makes no sense because I'm only 5'2")

It's all I can do to occasionally stop at the store (though DH does most of that these days) and take the kids to swim class.
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#4 of 17 Old 07-06-2009, 05:56 PM
 
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I'm with ya... we stayed in on the 4th the entire day because we did feel like being social. I was in NO mood to play nicey nicey with DHs family at a picnic. I just want to be by myself and try to relax some. I'm just so tired of people. It makes me crabby just thinking about having to socialize with anyone at this point.

A tired mommy to DD (7/09) and loving wife to DH (08/06)
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#5 of 17 Old 07-06-2009, 06:49 PM
 
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Do I have to be warned about how life will "change so drastically" and how "the fun is over"???? :::
Actually, the fun is just beginning!!! ::
Yes, having a baby is hard work and very trying, especially at the beginning - duh - but it is also the best thing ever and brings so much joy! Of course life changes drastically! For the better!

But yes, I have been feeling really anti-social these days, too. We had DH's family over yesterday and I just wanted to curl up in a corner until everyone left. We kind of decided that was the end of our socializing until after the baby arrives. There are a bunch of parties coming up that we are just going to avoid. I don't sleep so I am cranky all the time!

hh2.gif Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 ribboncesarean.gif, DD 07/09 hbac.gif, and DS2 06/11 uc.jpg.  Feeling more and more blessed with each day!

 

 
 
 
  

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#6 of 17 Old 07-07-2009, 08:56 AM
 
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Anti-social doesn't even cover it. I can barely stand to be around myself! People who I know have good intentions ask me simple questions like "how are you?" and I lose it. Last night I freaked out via email on my mom because she asked if anything was "happening".

Jessie. Mama to bikenew.gif(7) : broc1.gif(4) and : toddler.gif22 mo 

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#7 of 17 Old 07-07-2009, 11:52 AM
 
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I am too. I want to be a homebody right now. HOWEVER, I need to run to the store, b/c we are out of fresh fruit and produce, plus milk. I'm skipping most of our moms club events this wk. Been invited to a lunch this Thursday after the board mtg though and I suspect that they will do a mini-shower or something to that effect for me as a surprise (they keep asking to make sure I will make it, which seems strange to me for something they told me is very casual, so I am thinking they are planning something), so I'll be mtg up with some friends for lunch on Thursday, but that is really the only, "social" thing I plan to attend this wk.
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#8 of 17 Old 07-07-2009, 11:52 AM
 
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I'm forcing myself to be social and go to playgroups with my 2 yr old and go out and do things... because once I *do* get out I do feel a little bit better most of the time. I like hanging out with people who are supportive of my birth plans, but am finding myself really not wanting to hang out with people who aren't or who don't know about them... because they keep asking questions and I am getting sick of not being able to tell them the truth (long story, I have a very medical family who is anti homebirth and don't need the negativity right now).
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#9 of 17 Old 07-07-2009, 01:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anti-social doesn't even cover it. I can barely stand to be around myself! People who I know have good intentions ask me simple questions like "how are you?" and I lose it. Last night I freaked out via email on my mom because she asked if anything was "happening".
This is me in a nutshell.

Mum to DS1 7/09 and DS2 5/11

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#10 of 17 Old 07-07-2009, 01:55 PM
 
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Do I have to be warned about how life will "change so drastically" and how "the fun is over"???? :::
DH and I got so many of those comments with DS that it is now our MISSION to say only wonderful, positive things to expenctant parents. We talk up the good stuff. The rest of the world seems to have "you'll never sleep again" covered already.

ETA Some random MAN on the street tried to touch my belly the other day. Out of reflex I sort of swatted his hand away and he got a SHOCKED! look on his face and said, "Oh, you don't like being touched?" Yeah, APPARENTLY NOT.
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#11 of 17 Old 07-07-2009, 02:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by eli's mama View Post
Anti-social doesn't even cover it. I can barely stand to be around myself! People who I know have good intentions ask me simple questions like "how are you?" and I lose it. Last night I freaked out via email on my mom because she asked if anything was "happening".
See, for me a simple "how are you?" would be awesome! Everyone keeps asking "so have you had that baby yet?" and it's driving me up the wall! Especially my mom - she's going to be my older dd's babysitter when i'm in labor, for pete's sake! Of all people, she'd know. I know she's joking, but it's starting to grate on my nerves.

But back to the ot, I've actually been trying to keep myself busy and social, cause when I'm home alone I get totally depressed. At least when other people are around I can try to change the subject! When I'm by myself it's all dwelling on how my due date is tomorrow and how I was 5 days early with dd and why isn't this baby here yet!!!

Kristen - doula and birth educator, wife to Ben and mama to Sydney Mu (8/06) and Cal Edward (7/09) :
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#12 of 17 Old 07-07-2009, 03:18 PM
 
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See, for me a simple "how are you?" would be awesome! Everyone keeps asking "so have you had that baby yet?" and it's driving me up the wall!
Start saying, "Yes! I had the baby last week. Thank you for asking! Gotta go!"
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#13 of 17 Old 07-07-2009, 03:53 PM
 
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Start saying, "Yes! I had the baby last week. Thank you for asking! Gotta go!"
If I said that to my neighbors, they'd believe me. I don't live with the brightest bunch of crayons in the box.

Which is why I've been in hiding for the last few weeks. They've only just figured out that I'm pregnant (hiding something from them for 9 months is a miracle!), and I just don't want to discuss it with them.

I was invited to two cookouts over the 4th... but I didn't feel up to it. One of them was nearly two hours away with people I really don't care for, and I would have been given a guilt trip if I'd gone to the other instead. So, I stayed home and was bored and lonely.

Sunday, I at least went out to Goodwill and did some grocery shopping. But that's all I've had the energy for. Mom is coming to visit as soon as tomorrow... and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

- Born 7/21/09
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#14 of 17 Old 07-07-2009, 05:11 PM
 
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I'm actually feeling the opposite. I *need* to get out of the house almost every day or I feel very cabin-feverish. I know that once the baby comes, mobility w/ a very active 2yo and an infant is going to become much more difficult.

As for the rude comments people making about how awful parenthood is, I have never really understood them. I just usually chalk them up to being idiots, and just because they can't appreciate how absolutley wonderful children can make your life, that doesn't mean I'm going to be miserable.

I'm getting a lot of, "Oh you think 1 is bad, you're life is about to get REALLY crazy w/ 2!"

Um. No. I don't think one is bad, and I'm REALLY looking forward to what another child will bring to my family. If I stopped and thought about it when someone said that to me, that's what I would probably say. But I usually just chalk them up to being in the idiot category as well. Even if they are my friends or family.

There are a lot of idiots out there, in case you didn't know.

Geez, I'm a bit snarky today.

Married to my favorite man, homeschoolin' mama to a question-asking bug hunter (6) ; a twirling, shy, silly girl (4); a hurricane of boy energy (2), and expecting #4 in April 2014.
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#15 of 17 Old 07-07-2009, 05:51 PM
 
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My DH won't ask a pregnant woman if they have had there baby yet. He did that once (something like "When are you going to have that baby?"), when the woman answered the door, and she pointed over across the living room to the baby in the bassinet. She had a c-section about a week or so before and was still swollen. He felt soooo bad.

He was probably 18 or 19 (before we had any kids) and he learned his lesson though. I wish more people were quick learners like that.

Leigh

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#16 of 17 Old 07-07-2009, 05:54 PM
 
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DH and I got so many of those comments with DS that it is now our MISSION to say only wonderful, positive things to expenctant parents. We talk up the good stuff. The rest of the world seems to have "you'll never sleep again" covered already.
I feel exactly the same way!!

I also am glad to hear I'm not the only one feeling a little anti-social...

Parenting four little monkeys (11, 8, 6, and 4) with the love of my life. Making it up as I go.
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#17 of 17 Old 07-09-2009, 02:06 PM
 
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I dropped out of our regular mainstream playgroup around 7 months PG because I was getting NO support from the other moms... after I'd helped them countless times when they were busy with new babies in the past. One of the kids in the playgroup was passing on some serious behavioral problems to my DD for months and I'd been trying to improve the situation, including working with the other kid's mom. She just didn't care. And when it created some major issues where I'm chasing both our kids around a park at 7 months PG (and the other mom didn't care, once again), I dropped out of our playgroup (after belonging to it for nearly three years). I haven't heard from the other moms since. **string of expletives at how thoughtless and selfish people can be**

Since then I've been content to stay home or do one-on-one things outside the house with my three-year-old, and I'm pleased that the behavioral problems are pretty much gone. I've been happier since I've been "anti-social."

Kristin

Mama to Laurel '06 & high needs Will '09
Crunchy in mainstream suburbia | Sleep-deprived WAHM
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