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#1 of 40 Old 07-06-2009, 06:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, I'm getting really irritated when someone asks me how I am and I tell them something like, "good but very tired" and then they say something like, "wait till after the baby is born" or "you haven't seen anything yet" or something like that. I mean, is that supposed to make me feel better? I know it is not going to be easy to have a newborn and a 2 year old. But really, I got pregnant so I would have a baby - not to be pregnant! Why would anyone think it is easier to be pregnant than to actually have the baby that I've been so excited to have???? Yes, I'll be sleep deprived, but, at least I'll be able to walk instead of waddle, won't have to pee 5 zillion times a day, once I heal I won't be in constant pain or discomfort all day long, and I'll have a beautiful little girl!

Ok - I'm done ranting - I just had to get that off my chest since my boss made a comment like that to me today and it just really ticked me off :.
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#2 of 40 Old 07-06-2009, 06:49 PM
 
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LOL and you have a 2 year old, so it's not like you haven't experienced having a newborn to care for! Sheesh, some people can be so irritating!

Jordana, mama to almost 8 year old Evan, 3 year old Atticus, and 1 year old Tabitha - my gifts from heaven

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#3 of 40 Old 07-06-2009, 06:55 PM
 
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I got really agitated waiting for the deli girl at the Walmart last week. They were super slow and there were a few people in front of me. It's hard enough waiting in line when your feet look like swollen pumpkins. Finally it is my turn and the woman has to go on and on about when she had her baby and how she went 4 weeks overdue and the cord was around the baby's neck twice and yadda yadda yadda! Look lady, I don't care to hear your birth story. Just give me my honey turkey and let me get the hell out of here! Plus, if you've been preggo before, you understand how difficult it is standing for a long time when you are 9 months. Grrr! Some people!

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#4 of 40 Old 07-06-2009, 07:09 PM
 
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My favorite is the co-workers who call or facebook everyday saying "are you still pregnant" now that I'm on leave and we don't see each other in the office, they want the baby status. I'm about ready to stop answering my phone or something!

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#5 of 40 Old 07-06-2009, 08:08 PM
 
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I HATE it when people make comments about what a PITA babies and kids are, assuming that i do not have any of my own (not to mention that they are just rude in saying such things...) I ran into a grocery store the other day and a woman was playing with her very loud and happy baby... I smiled as I hurried past them, and an older man up ahead said "huh, I guess if you knew they would be like that (talking about the baby) you would have thought twice about that (me being pg." Um... Okay... Or people walking past me saying in a know it all voice "Ahh, yeah, Ive been there, done that..." Yeah, so have I... and your point is??? Or when people are constantly coming up to me in random places and asking "do you know what you are having." "yes, a baby" I respond...Then they act shocked beyond belief that we do not know the boy/girl status... I never got but one or two comments with my other two. People just looked at me like I was a harlet or something (I was 18-20 and i do not wear my wedding ring...) But I prefer that to all these comments... Okay, I am done

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#6 of 40 Old 07-06-2009, 09:20 PM
 
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With my last pregnancy I was on complete bedrest from 22 weeks until my section at 35 weeks and EVERYONE CONSTANTLY said things to me like "better enjoy it now because there is no rest for the mother of a newborn" blah, blah, blah... Yeah, I was terrified that my baby was going to be born with birth defects or not even make it until delivery time because of all the bleeding, but yeah, I will really try and enjoy this time. Being in constant fear is a great way to rest during pregnancy. People have no clue. :

Truth be told, when people ask me how I am I usually just smile and say "great!" and then quickly change the subject. I hate getting lured into those comments that nobody realizes are actually quite rude.

And, OP, when I told my crazy mother that I was pregnant again, instead of congratulating me she said "boy, your life is going to get really hard". Thanks for the support, lady. This from my own mother! So rude!

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#7 of 40 Old 07-06-2009, 09:41 PM
 
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I havent had a lot of stupid comments, just alot of "any day now, huh, Kell?" etc... that gets kinda old. I had to snicker, I went to the store tonight to do regular shopping + pick up snacks/drinks/pads to take to the birth center (wanted to make mam cloth, but realistically would rather have a just in case, ya know) and had the vitamin waters , granola cereal, graham crakers and heavy duty ultra pads all in one spot on the belt, and as she rang the stuff through she looked at me and said "so..... when are you due?" with this holycrap she isnt picking this stuff up on her way is she look

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#8 of 40 Old 07-06-2009, 10:36 PM
 
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Ah, what perfect timing on this thread. I was at some store or another, and no less than 3 people asked a.) when are you due? and b.) do you know what you're having. This was last week but I just committed to telling everyone that I'm due "today" no matter what day it is and that I hope I'm having "a baby ha ha ha" lots of fake laughing and people just leave me alone. Or yeah, when I leave my other two at home or something and people say weird stuff assuming that I have no idea what I'm getting into. Again, lots of fake laughing usually makes people feel funny and leave me alone.

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#9 of 40 Old 07-06-2009, 10:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tracymom1 View Post
With my last pregnancy I was on complete bedrest from 22 weeks until my section at 35 weeks and EVERYONE CONSTANTLY said things to me like "better enjoy it now because there is no rest for the mother of a newborn" blah, blah, blah... Yeah, I was terrified that my baby was going to be born with birth defects or not even make it until delivery time because of all the bleeding, but yeah, I will really try and enjoy this time. Being in constant fear is a great way to rest during pregnancy. People have no clue. :
Ugh, these are the worst, I think! My DS was born at 25 weeks, weighed a pound and a half, and spent over 3 months in the NICU. I was talking to someone in the grocery store and another woman butted in and told me (after hearing all that) that I was so lucky and she wished her babies had been preemies! I was shocked and said something like well I really wouldn't recommend it and she said, "But the preemie clothes are so cute! My kids were so big they were in 3-6 month clothes as soon as they were born!" Yeah, you know what's not cute? Constantly worrying if your baby's going to make it....and guess what, he couldn't even wear those "cute" clothes until he was almost 2 months old and then they were ridiculously huge on him.

My cousin also had a micropreemie, and some random person in a store told her she was so lucky to not have gone through the last trimester. Right, because spending it in the hospital with your medically fragile baby is so much better? :

Amy, wife to Paul 5/20/01, SAHM to Daniel 5/23/07, Claire 7/15/09, and Elaine 9/4/12

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#10 of 40 Old 07-06-2009, 11:15 PM
 
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i'm sort of ddc crashing. was due in june, but still no baby... i have been getting the worst comments! mostly about being induced. and today my mom asked if i was going to get a c-section because the baby was probably really big since i am so overdue. i almost screamed!
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#11 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 01:21 AM
 
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And people wonder why pregnant women get anti social at the end of their pregnancy. We're sick and tired of hearing these asinine comments from family and strangers alike!!

My mother in law called today to see if "anything is happening yet". I asked her what she meant, and she's like "I'm just trying to see if you're in labor." What? No! You'd know if I was! I'd call you and tell you.... I don't know why, but that really irritated me. Don't put me under a microscope or I WONT be informing you if "anything happens". Grrr.....

A tired mommy to DD (7/09) and loving wife to DH (08/06)
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#12 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 01:34 AM
 
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Well I was at the Motherhood store today, one week after giving birth to DS by C-section and the lady there told me I needed to buy a tummy girdle so I would look "more like I used to." Then she tried to sell me some sort of belly-reducing cream. So this basically means I look like post-partum belly-flub crap, right? Whatever. At least I am out of bed and around...

Man, all I wanted was a nursing bra.
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#13 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 02:08 AM
 
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On Saturday at a BBQ, one of DH's motorcycle club friends said to him, in front of me ( I think he was a bit drunk), that after I give birth I will become a crazy person. Apparently he's bitter about his ex.
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#14 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 03:29 AM
 
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No comments here. Just everyone staring and gawking at me when I walk down the street with my gigantic belly and 5 kids in toll. I feel like saying "Why don't you take a picture? It will last longer" One of the reasons I don't feel like leaving the house anymore.
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#15 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 06:10 AM
 
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My favorite (and most frequent) comment right now---"No baby yet?" Um, yes, there is a baby (IN MY BELLY!!!) Duh. No I had the baby and I'm already back to work looking unfortunately exactly the same! Oh well. I guess it just really sucks because I'm already stressing about when this baby is going to come, let alone being reminded by a zillion people every day. Oh and every time I call a friend or family member, they think I'm calling to deliver the news. Do I just need to isolate myself for the next couple of weeks, or can I actually live normally and keep in contact with my family/friends? UGH
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#16 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 07:55 AM
 
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For a week, my mom answered her phone, "Are you in labor???" She's since stopped- thank god! I partially can't blame her, she IS waiting for me to call and tell her so she can hop on a plane to be here... but seriously, I'll lead with "get packed" or "it's time"... no need to ask, try "Hello."

Luckily, no worries about premies or anything for me. My heart goes out to you Mamas who do- a woman I sort-of-know was due the same time I was, and her baby was a premie. The pictures made me cry. She was so tiny! And all the commentors kept saying the baby was so cute, and that her being tiny was cute! No it's not! It's scary for the family! She had NO fat on her. That poor mother- she had to wait forever just to hold her first baby!

And what the heck is cute about premie clothes??? They look the same as other baby clothes, just smaller. That's not cute dangit!

The comments that are really getting to me are people telling me not to worry. I say kiss my fat pregnant butt. My fears and concerns are very valid and you brushing them under the rug doesn't sit well with me. If you don't want to hear it, don't ask. If you want me to focus elsewhere, then why don't YOU come up with something to talk about- this happens to be what's on my mind!

... and lastly... why the hell do strangers care what you're having and when? We'll likely never meet again- why does it matter? I can understand it from another pregnant woman (to compare notes), but it just boggles me about others. Ok, I can also take it from people who are making small talk- obvious topic and all- but people who practically chase me down, or stop me on the way to the bathroom- I'm going to start peeing on their shoes.

Blarg, blarg-blargity- BLARG!!!

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#17 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 10:59 AM
 
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The dumb comments I usually get revolve around me being "lucky" for having my babies early. I suppose I should feel fortunate that both of my babies, though preterm, were healthy and not super early (34 weeks and 35 weeks). BUT- it sure is irritating to hear lots of -"oh, at least you didn't have a big baby," or "it must be a lot easier to birth a 5 or 6 pound baby" or, "it is so great for you that you weren't pregnant all summer"
I also hated being told that it must be nice and relaxing to be on bed rest. It's neither.

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#18 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 11:11 AM
 
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For a week, my mom answered her phone, "Are you in labor???" She's since stopped- thank god! I partially can't blame her, she IS waiting for me to call and tell her so she can hop on a plane to be here... but seriously, I'll lead with "get packed" or "it's time"... no need to ask, try "Hello."

... and lastly... why the hell do strangers care what you're having and when? We'll likely never meet again- why does it matter? I can understand it from another pregnant woman (to compare notes), but it just boggles me about others. Ok, I can also take it from people who are making small talk- obvious topic and all- but people who practically chase me down, or stop me on the way to the bathroom- I'm going to start peeing on their shoes.
Yeah, my mom is bugging me. She lives not quite an hr away, BUT she will be the first to hear if I go into labor, b/c she needs to come over to watch my older two kids. She keeps calling me at random times and asking, "So, how do you feel?" I finally flat out told her that it's POINTLESS for her to keep calling me, when she is the #1 person (other than my DH) who HAS to be aware of when I go into labor, b/c I need her to watch my kids! DUH! She's acting as if I will keep her in the dark?!?!

I agree, why do strangers HAVE to know when you are due and what you are having anyway? That's funny about peeing on their shoes... it's a talent I probably really could do right now, b/c I have to pee like every 30 min...
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#19 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 11:24 AM
 
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Well I was at the Motherhood store today, one week after giving birth to DS by C-section and the lady there told me I needed to buy a tummy girdle so I would look "more like I used to." Then she tried to sell me some sort of belly-reducing cream. So this basically means I look like post-partum belly-flub crap, right? Whatever. At least I am out of bed and around...

Man, all I wanted was a nursing bra.
Ah, I went into Motherhood two weeks PP and had a similar experience! I also only wanted a nursing bra, hah.
the comments about being lucky to have a preemie or to be on bedrest just make me think, "WHAT?!?!?!" I have pretty poor social skills but come on.
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#20 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This thread and other similar threads makes me wonder what it is about talking to a pregnant person or a new parent that makes people feel like they can say whatever they want? I mean, why is it that just because we are pregnant, perfect strangers feel like they can comment on how we look, say insulting things, assume they know how we feel, can predict how we will feel and give us unsolicited advise? Where is the brain to mouth filter that is usually present when speaking with another person (I know not all people have these...)?

Does society feel some kind of entitlement to our pregnant bodies and unborn children? Is this the last vestiges of, "it takes a village...?"
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#21 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 11:43 AM
 
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My MIL said (when she saw me for the first time last week), "Oh, you didn't get fat in your face." Sounds like she's implying I got fat everywhere else.

This isn't really stupid, but amusing. I was at farmer's market on Saturday, and a lady who raises goats looked at me and said, "You've dropped mama. I know when my goats have dropped, and you look ready. You are going to drop that baby really quick. I can tell when it is going to happen with my goats." I hope she's right.

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#22 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 12:02 PM
 
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Ah, I went into Motherhood two weeks PP and had a similar experience! I also only wanted a nursing bra, hah.
the comments about being lucky to have a preemie or to be on bedrest just make me think, "WHAT?!?!?!" I have pretty poor social skills but come on.
This is why I despise this store. Thier clothes are overpriced crap (IMO, compared to other places) and 99% of the time the employees are totally clueless. GAH.

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#23 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 12:23 PM
 
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I hate being stared at like I am on show. People have no clue that a due date means nothing, it is just the 40w mark, and they hate it that I don't give them that day. Its for my own sanity. Baby can come anytime from now until early August but people don't want a 5 week span...

I had a neighbor peak through my fence the other day to peep at me asleep on my porch- she very loudly asks her husband "No baby yet? Is there a baby?" until I wake up pissed off and just yell at them that it could be weeks. Is this normal behavior for neighbors? Am I peeking in their yard asking DH "are they drunk yet?"(these neighbors can put a few down, kwim?).

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#24 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 12:55 PM
 
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My mother does that "are you in labor?" thing every time I call, too. Man it's annoying. She seems to think I'll have a 30 minute chat with her before I say "by the way, I'm holding your grandbaby."

She also asks me about once per week how much weight I've gained. It's monumentally annoying because I've told her for the past 6 months that I DON'T KNOW because I don't look at the scale when I weigh in at the OBs office. I don't know, I don't want to know, nothing good comes of me watching the scales go up. She knows I struggle with my weight when I'm not pregnant. I think she thinks I know but won't tell her. Stupid. Yesterday she insisted I must know from how my clothes fit. It's a weird obsession of hers.

Jordana, mama to almost 8 year old Evan, 3 year old Atticus, and 1 year old Tabitha - my gifts from heaven

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#25 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 03:37 PM
 
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Last week I had a meeting after church and this guy (my dad's age) walks in and sits down 2 chairs away from me. He looks at me and says, "You've GOT to be due soon!" I looked at him and replied, "Wow, you really know what to say to a pregnant woman!" The women at the table laughed, and so did he, after a minute. Then I told him, "you're lucky you kept some space between you and I (the 2 chairs), or you'd be in big trouble w/ a comment like that."

Oh, those pregnancy hormones. You better watch out!

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#26 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 04:08 PM
 
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I had a neighbor peak through my fence the other day to peep at me asleep on my porch- she very loudly asks her husband "No baby yet? Is there a baby?" until I wake up pissed off and just yell at them that it could be weeks. Is this normal behavior for neighbors? Am I peeking in their yard asking DH "are they drunk yet?"(these neighbors can put a few down, kwim?).
:
Do we live on the same block??!!
And I agree about the due date thing... totally useless information. I have no idea why everyone is so stuck on it.

hh2.gif Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 ribboncesarean.gif, DD 07/09 hbac.gif, and DS2 06/11 uc.jpg.  Feeling more and more blessed with each day!

 

 
 
 
  

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#27 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 04:12 PM
 
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my sister told me today "dont they (home birth midwives) do something at this point (im 3 days past EDD) becuse your placenta will stop working?" sheesh! i dont even try to educate her anymore!

joyful mama to DS 2-05, open adoption birthmama to DD 5-07: and DS 6-98, and my littlest one 7-09. crazy in love with DH!
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#28 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 04:17 PM
 
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my sister told me today "dont they (home birth midwives) do something at this point (im 3 days past EDD) becuse your placenta will stop working?" sheesh! i dont even try to educate her anymore!
Because there is an expiration date on them, right?
People see me having a hard time, and they can't understand why I won't induce already

As badly as I wish this baby would come out YESTERDAY, I could not evict him/her just because. BTDT when I did not know any better with baby 3. Very bad idea...
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#29 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 09:07 PM
 
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I'm totally sick of "do you know what you're having?" and "when are you due?" But at least they are easy to answer "No" and "saturday". Pretty simple.

Ds #1 was also a preemie so I get really sick of people saying they are tired of being pregnant at like 36 weeks. Oh, that's our ddc No, I can understand. Now that I've gone through 2 third trimesters I can see that as the ONLY good thing about having a preemie! The discomforts are pretty darn hard to put up with sometimes.

I haven't had anyone say a "just wait..." type of thing but that would piss me off so much. I'm actually weirdly nervous about not being pregnant anymore because I will have three kids!!! Yeah, I think I can imagine what I'm getting into and the nice thing for people to say is "how exciting! All the best!"
or "take care of yourself!"
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#30 of 40 Old 07-07-2009, 09:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by plantmama View Post
I'm totally sick of "do you know what you're having?" and "when are you due?" But at least they are easy to answer "No" and "saturday". Pretty simple.
Yeah, I guess they're just trying to make small talk, but I've noticed that it's often people who wouldn't be talking to you otherwise, so I don't really get the need. Like I got both of those from the cashier in the next lane over today. She then proceeded to tell me I was going to have my hands full and that she bet I was ready to have this baby at any time (after pointing out that I look like I'm going to pop at any minute). I wanted to tell her that actually I'm really glad to have made it this far since I didn't with DS, but I was tired and decided to just get going.

Amy, wife to Paul 5/20/01, SAHM to Daniel 5/23/07, Claire 7/15/09, and Elaine 9/4/12

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