mamas of more than 1- when to tell siblings? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 14 Old 11-01-2008, 10:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all!

dh and i are having a rought time trying to decide when to tell our eldest children that we are expecting another. When i was expecting my now youngest it was really no big deal- dd1 was only 21 months and found the idea too abstract to hang on to. Now she is 5 and has started the wonderful phase of paroting/ motor mouth- you know, telling every last tom, dick, and harry what you think about this or that? (I've started to cringe when i hear the words- "you know what mom said?") I'm not sure I'm ready to have her entire kindergarten class and the check out girl at the grocery store know yet, but am having a tought time keeping it from her. Couple this with the fact that our last positive turned negative at 19 days.

when do you tell?

2vbac mama to dd1-5 3/4, dd2 3, and ds- 07/10/09
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#2 of 14 Old 11-01-2008, 10:18 AM
 
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Ideally we're going to try to wait until we get past the 3 month stage. We'll see if we can keep it under wraps until then -- my 4 year old has keen ears. I think that probably when my body starts changing he'll figure it out by himself and ask me, and then I guess I"ll have to tell him -- but hopefully it will be a few more weeks until we get there.

Of course, I'll probably end up taking him to my dr's appt with me, and then he'll find out anyway. Sigh.

Jill , mom to Andrew (09/04), Aaron(01/07), and Emma (11/09)
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#3 of 14 Old 11-01-2008, 11:05 AM
 
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I told the 3 oldest.
We once lost twins boys at 5 months of pregnancy, which the 2 oldest remember very well and the 3rd has heard a lot about. It was a very sad time to us all, but they learned that sometimes babies are born in heaven instead.
They are very happy with the idea of another sibling, so we all pray and hope that we will get to hold and play with this little one in July.
I also get so exhausted and sick during the first trimester, that there is no use trying to hide it.
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#4 of 14 Old 11-01-2008, 11:08 AM
 
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I'm horrible at keeping things like this a secret, so I'll be telling my two soon. We're surprising my mother with ornaments for her birthday that the kids painted at a pottery place, while we were there I painted one "from the baby." So the kids will find out when we give them to my mom next week.

I kind of wish I could keep it a secret for a while, but I know it won't happen. The hard part is going to be the expected daily questions from my DD, probably something along the lines of "Is the baby here yet? When's the baby coming? Is the baby coming soon? When can I see the baby?" She's going to be very excited.
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#5 of 14 Old 11-01-2008, 11:13 AM
 
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When I was pregnant with DD, we waited a few weeks to tell DS so I was about 6 or 7 weeks. It got to the point where we kept talking about it in front of him and we decided just to tell him.

This time around, I wasn't sure when we would tell the kids but they walked in the room with DH when I showed him the positive HPT. It kind of answered that question for me! I think we would have told them quite soon though as this is a family event and it's important to me that we all share in this.

Kim - Wife to Liam , Unschooly mama to Nick (10/00) Lily (09/05) and Olivia (07/09)
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#6 of 14 Old 11-01-2008, 11:19 AM
 
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Eden is a little young, but she knows. We told her because she will be going to our midwife appointments with us and I want her to know why Mama is going to the "doctor" all the time. She knows that the midwife checks on the baby in Mama's belly!

~Amy~ Wife to my best friend Brandon. Mama to my sweet girl Eden (11/6/06) and my little man Theo (6/25/09)
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#7 of 14 Old 11-01-2008, 11:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quindin View Post
I told the 3 oldest.

I also get so exhausted and sick during the first trimester, that there is no use trying to hide it.
yes. and yes. i usually get so sick starting at 7 weeks- who knows, maybe even earlier this time around- that i KNOW i will have to tell them something in the next couple of weeks.

2vbac mama to dd1-5 3/4, dd2 3, and ds- 07/10/09
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#8 of 14 Old 11-01-2008, 11:55 AM
 
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I always INTENDED to wait until after month 4... but never could. I am always so overjoyed it just sort of radiates out of me in conversation... in front of the kids.



So...um... how's that for a non-answer!

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#9 of 14 Old 11-02-2008, 01:13 AM
 
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We have been trying rather unsuccesfully to avoid telling our daughter who is 4, but my hubby kept slipping and I decided it was time to tell her, before she figured it out herself... she's pretty smart.

She lit up like a christmas tree and keeps asking us to let her name the baby....

It's gonna be a long road to July....

Anna Banana ~5 year old daughter ~3 year old son one angel baby and expecting July 2010
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#10 of 14 Old 11-02-2008, 08:45 AM
 
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We will wait. . probably until around Christmas time. I've had 3 m/c. . we had told my daughter the first time I got pregnant. . she had such a difficult time with that. She may suspect that something is up. . .but I can't put her through that again.

She was pretty involved when I was prgnant with her brother, but then I was doing daily injections of progesterone. At 4.5 all those months of waiting for a sibling were pure torture for her.

Be, happy momma to Liberty (12-31-02), Henry (3-17-07) and Prudence (7-02-09)
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#11 of 14 Old 11-02-2008, 10:01 AM
 
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Not pg but..

My twin boys were 13 months when DD was conceived. Even when they were 21 months and she was born, they still just didn't care. LOL.

They are five years old (soon to be six) like your oldest. We won't tell them or their sister (4 y/o) about the (future!) pregnancy until we are entering second trimester. This is due to a few things - we want to avoid explaining if we happen to m/c and also, they'd blab to anyone about it and we don't want anyone else to know until I am 15-20 weeks along (we just love keeping it to ourselves, lol).
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#12 of 14 Old 11-02-2008, 10:12 AM
 
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I plan to tell my when I am about 12 weeks, I'm 6.5 now. It's hard keeping it a secret, but my last pregnancy ended in MS. My kids are older 15-10-8-6, I know they are old enough to understand if something bad happens, but I'd rather wait. It's funny because, my 10 yr old has asked me twice if I was pregnant. I have gave them no indication that I could be.

Mom to 4, & a Baby Girl in Heaven 01/2009. Missing my New Angel 12/2009
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#13 of 14 Old 11-03-2008, 03:40 PM
 
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We are saving it for a Christmas Surprise. dd is going to wear a shirt to the family parties that says "Im going to be a big sister" and DD's will say "Im going to be a big sister AGAIN!!" (or something like that)
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#14 of 14 Old 11-03-2008, 04:11 PM
 
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DS turns two six days before this baby is due so I think we are going to wait as long as possible to tell him. AS a PP said, the idea is just too abstract. I need to prep him (homebirth) but I worry about saying anything until we have to since it won't likely make sense and if it does, it would seem like a long wait.

Mama to DS (6/07) h20homebirth.gif, DD (6/09) h20homebirth.gif, and DD (07/12) homebirth.jpg..

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