chronic worrying - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 11:34 AM - Thread Starter
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i can't stop worrying. i'm so scared that i'm going to lose this baby. and i know that's such a silly thing to say because i really have no control over it and the baby is not really "mine" to lose.

my temps have been dropping ever so slightly the past 2 days probably because i have been waking at 4 in the morning not able to sleep and i take my temp and then its low and then i lay awake with my stomach churning burying myself under the blankets trying to make myself hotter (which is crazy) not to mention using 2 differnt and non-corroborating thermometers. (i have a third coming to me in the mail.oy.) so now i am horribly sleep deprived. on top of this i don't really feel pregnant- my stomach isn't crampy and bloated anymore which is something i typically experience right through my pregnancies. i mean, i have the odd 15 second wave of mild nausea but nothing major. of course every day i feel like this i take another ridiculous pregnancy test all of which are coming up darker than the control line now (something that did not happen when i had a chemical 2 months ago.)

i probably need to a.) stop temping and b.) just trust those pregnancy tests c.) stop taking MORE pregnancy tests d.) chill the eff out!

thanks for listening.

2vbac mama to dd1-5 3/4, dd2 3, and ds- 07/10/09
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#2 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 11:56 AM
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One thing I didn't learn about until I was knee deep with the first one was what I've optimistically dubbed "Mama's foresight". During pregnancy my dreams are EXTREMELY vivid, some to the point of disturbing, and I experienced worry. With almost all of them, I wake up knowing how I feel about a certain circumstance I may not have encountered before, and how I would react.

When the baby is born, these night dreams turned into day dreams for me. Sometimes useful, most of the time horrifying...I guess a mild example would be the "foresight" of falling down the stairs while carrying the baby and what horrible things might happen (and let me tell you vivid as crap). But, yes, falling down the stairs could be bad, and I was absolutely dillegent every time I stood at the top to walk down with babe in arms because of these visions. I was even motivated to take my socks off (wood stairs) in order to limit my risk.

My personal perspective is that this "foresight", worry, is beneficial, listen to it, store it in your mind, but let the disturbing aspects just roll off your shoulders.

Maybe your worry right now could be intended to motivate you into learning more about the experience you're about to go through, or to pay more attention to your diet. Project the energy you're expending on worry into productive activities.

(I don't mean to assume you are a first time mom, or that everyone experiences this Foresight to the same degree. This is just me sharing my experience with worry and dreams).
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#3 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 12:58 PM
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Relax. Breath deep. Think about the positive things. You cannot control this, which is SO hard for me to swollow - I'm a control freak. Stress and worry will do you more harm than just relaxing, letting go, and telling yourself that you are doing your best to grow a healthy baby. When you feel yourself getting caught up in the worry, change the directions of your thoughts. Think about that Christmas shopping list, or what you're making for Thanksgiving. Redirect yourself You may not be able to control your pregnancy, but you can control your frame of mind.

Slightly dysfunctional mommy to DD (07/09), step mom to DS (04/11) and loving wife to DH (12/16).
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#4 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 01:09 PM
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Try living in the present and see if that helps. I like the idea of keeping busy to remove the focus on noting every little change. For me, I worried a lot more with my first than I do with my third because I am always busy and don't have time to dwell.

:,,:, to my three veggie ladies 12/09/05, : 10/03/07 & 07/10/09 hanging on for dear life to :
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#5 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 06:23 PM - Thread Starter
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uh- scratch that- the bloat is back!

...but thank you for your kind words. sometimes just hearing/seeing someone else say what i already know is a great reminder to breathe. i know i can't control this and i know that i will make it through either outcome.

2vbac mama to dd1-5 3/4, dd2 3, and ds- 07/10/09
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#6 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 07:52 PM
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I agree with the other ladies. It is normal to worry, and it's out of our hands now. Stop temping right now!! Once you have a positive, your temp will go all over the place. I know that it is hard to just live in the moment and enjoy it. My DH and I tried for 15 months to get this BFP, and I just keep waiting on the rug to get yanked out from under me. I really think the problem is that we are overloaded on these boards with the bad that can happen in pregnancy. Once you realize everything that can go wrong, it's only normal for your mind to expect the worst. I know mine is, and it's hard not to think that every twinge is going to bring a chemical. (I got my BFP at 10dpo, and I won't be 4 wks until Sunday.) I've read everywhere that it's not uncommon for symptoms to come and go in the first month or so of pregnancy. So just :! But, I do know how you feel.

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#7 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 08:48 PM
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I understand the worry! I remember being SO worried about it last time around. It is definitely something that I think about often. I keep thinking that I am jinxing myself by telling people, by looking at maternity clothes online, etc.

I am trying to just assume that everything will be good. My dh is really good about being like that.


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#8 of 9 Old 11-08-2008, 05:18 PM
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as a professional worrier, i can so relate. an article i read made me feel a bit better about it though. it said that the female brain is more wired to worry (than the male brain) because it's an evolutionary advantage to be able to anticipate dangerous situations for our children so as to avoid them.

my philosophy with this whole ttc/pregnancy thing is to just relax and trust that everything happens for a reason. all i can do is do my best, and try to react positively to whatever happens.

hang in there!

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#9 of 9 Old 11-08-2008, 10:48 PM
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HUGS I can totally relate to the constant worrying but your right it is out of your hands.. and worrying/stress isnt good for the baby so its best to try and just relax and take each step day by day
(of course easier said than done )

Shelly, Mom to Sophia 5 Nicholas 3 & 2 Angels
Its a GIRL! Alyssa Ann 6/29/10 7lbs 5 oz
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