A note to first-time moms on their growing bellies ... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 02-26-2009, 06:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Some of you first-timers may not be showing to the average person, but I just wanted you to know that it's OK and normal to have a small belly. With my 1st, I was small and got all sorts of (rude) comments about how I couldn't possibly be pregnant, or when was I going to start showing, or I should eat more ... At 30 weeks, I was freaked out a bit because I was only measuring 21 weeks. I got an ultrasound and the baby was fine - perfectly on target! By the time I went into labour at 40wks4days, I was measuring 30 weeks, I had gained 23 lbs and had a 7lb 9oz healthy baby boy.

With each subsequent pregnancy, I measured closer to my actual date, but never right on "target", and the Dr never commented or had me do any extra ultrasounds because she knew that it was just how I carried. I'm guessing that with this pregnancy, my fourth, I will *maybe* measure on target, but it will have taken me 4 babies to get there

Just wanted to let you know that it's great to have a small belly - it's easier to move, easier to work, easier to walk the dog, easier to climb up stairs, easier to get intimate And it's NORMAL!!!

Shannon, mum to ds1 (8/03), ds2 (6/05), dd (5/07), and ds3 (7/09)
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#2 of 16 Old 02-26-2009, 07:16 PM
 
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Thanks, i live in NY and i was just thinking on my way home, "i can't wait til i have a noticable belly so i can get a seat on the subway and not get shoved around like i am" I really want the belly and everyone keeps telling me i'm tiny and not showing at all. Of course to me i look huge. Frustrating....

Mom to K and R

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#3 of 16 Old 02-26-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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Hi Mamas,
Preg with #2 this time, but showed tiny with #1- as in some co-workers were shocked/thought my baby shower announcement was a joke at when it went out at 34 weeks preg. Another lady asked me when I was due 2 days before my EDD, I told her Saturday. She asked of which month. I told her "This Saturday," and she LAUGHED at me and told me I was wrong. I cried. And I measured normal, with some pretty significant weight gain (30 lbs.).
To be totally honest, I'm actually scared at how big I might actually get this time around, LOL!
Small preg bellies are nice, esp in the summer heat.
~maddymama
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#4 of 16 Old 02-27-2009, 01:19 PM
 
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Thank you so so much for posting this

read.gifLisa married to geek.gifB WAHM to moon.gifC (08.09)

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#5 of 16 Old 02-27-2009, 01:24 PM
 
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Im huge. I get told I'm huge and it really sucks. I have barely gained 6 lbs but my belly is really showing. I feel for any mama who is going through any size insecurity or silly comments from rude ppl. Its hard to be on display or NOT. HUGS
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#6 of 16 Old 02-27-2009, 05:28 PM
 
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Thanks for your post GenomicsGirl!! It is comforting. I'm 13w5d and not showing at all. At all. I assume it is because of a combination of two elements: I'm already a little bit chubby/curvy and I've been informed that I have a tilted uterus. In one way, I am relieved because we don't have a lot of extra cash for me to be buying months and months worth of maternity clothes. On the other hand, I am already getting comments from well-meaning friends and family, like "Where's the bump? I was hoping to see a bump." or "No belly yet??" which are followed up with admonishments to eat more, etc. And then I feel bad, because my antepartum depression/anxiety has manifested with a lack of appetite and sometimes a complete lack of will to feed myself. And that sets off anxiety that I am hurting my little fetus. As a result, I sleep and eat even less. It's a rough cycle.

I really do appreciate your post. It's a good reminder that I probably wouldn't be showing even if I felt fantastically wonderful all the time and was eating 6 small meals per day. I'm going to refer back to this thread when I get trapped in that cycle in the future.

And maybe 20 weeks down the line I'll be all huge and complaining and we can all have a good laugh that I was ever worried about not showing.
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#7 of 16 Old 02-27-2009, 05:38 PM
 
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NaturalMindedMama, sorry you feel on display. As much as I want to start showing, I would find that "everybody's looking" feeling really hard too. I had not considered that aspect. I want a belly to show off to close friends and family, not to random strangers.

s to you!
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#8 of 16 Old 02-27-2009, 06:02 PM
 
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thanks for posting Shannon

I haven't gained any weight yet, which because I'm starting out over weight is seen as a good thing. I really don't want comments from people about needing to eat more or anything like that. I'm comfortable with not showing until much later (my BFF is built just like me, and she didn't really show until after 5 months), but I don't want other people planting the seed of doubt into my mind.

I appreciate the confidence boost that even if you've got a small belly, it's ok!

NaturalMindedMomma, I am NOT looking forward to that. I have social anxiety as it is, so people looking at me is going to be really bad for me. I'm already under the microscope with my family, who are excited about a new grandbaby on the way. They mean well, but I can feel their eyes checking me out already and I don't like it.
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#9 of 16 Old 02-27-2009, 09:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ombrooklyn View Post
Thanks, i live in NY and i was just thinking on my way home, "i can't wait til i have a noticable belly so i can get a seat on the subway and not get shoved around like i am"
My belly could still be totally sucked in pretty flat well past five months with #1. But I could also let it out by five or six months and look pretty round...came in handy getting seats on the train!

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#10 of 16 Old 02-28-2009, 12:27 AM
 
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On another note, in the end I gained a TON with my first pregnancy (like 60 pounds), though a LOT of that (20-30#) was put on the last couple months while on 'bedrest' due to low afi :grumble:. Anywho, I too didn't show untill 5+ months (even though by that point I'd already gained a goodly bit... and even this time at 4+ months I'm still not really showing. DH is starting to be able to tell, but I'm fairly sure its still all but un noticable to most folks (who probably just think I'm slightly sorta chunk atm...)
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#11 of 16 Old 02-28-2009, 06:58 PM
 
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According to my doctors visit on thursday, I have gained 6lbs this month. So, thats a total of 8 lbs from pre-conception to almost 18 weeks. My doctor said this was normal. I am not eating tons of junk food, or anything really. I'm just gaining weight normally, I suppose. This is my first baby, and I do feel like I'm bigger than I should be. But the dr clearly told me everyone is different. I am long in the torso, and tall, so baby popped right out since I was so trim.
But I almost feel like there's TOO Much belly for the amount of baby, but nothing is soft.. it's all hard, and solid.. I felt him really soon too ( 16 weeks ), and I found out the sex early, and never had a drop of morning sickness. It almost seems like this pregnancy is too good to be true, and that makes me nervous.

Married to my best friend, and favorite person in the world... Proud 1st time mama to our son, Conway James. Born July 29th!::::
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#12 of 16 Old 02-28-2009, 07:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GenomicsGirl View Post
Some of you first-timers may not be showing to the average person, but I just wanted you to know that it's OK and normal to have a small belly. With my 1st, I was small and got all sorts of (rude) comments about how I couldn't possibly be pregnant, or when was I going to start showing, or I should eat more ... At 30 weeks, I was freaked out a bit because I was only measuring 21 weeks. I got an ultrasound and the baby was fine - perfectly on target! By the time I went into labour at 40wks4days, I was measuring 30 weeks, I had gained 23 lbs and had a 7lb 9oz healthy baby boy.

With each subsequent pregnancy, I measured closer to my actual date, but never right on "target", and the Dr never commented or had me do any extra ultrasounds because she knew that it was just how I carried. I'm guessing that with this pregnancy, my fourth, I will *maybe* measure on target, but it will have taken me 4 babies to get there

Just wanted to let you know that it's great to have a small belly - it's easier to move, easier to work, easier to walk the dog, easier to climb up stairs, easier to get intimate And it's NORMAL!!!
Thanks for posting Geonomics girl. With both my children, I have carried really BIG in my belly and showed EARLY. And got the constant comments of - "ARE YOU SURE YOUR DATES ARE RIGHT" or "ARE YOU SURE ITS NOT TWINS"? Ha, it can be maddening - just try to laugh it off & realize that people have an expectation of what a pregnant woman "should" look like at each stage. I think we each have our own biases as well. Just remember that your own body does what it needs to keep your own baby healthy. Its a precourser to being a parent - you'll get SO MUCH unsolicited advice, but only YOU know your child best & know what is best for your child!

I gained nearly 50lbs with both of my pregnancies - because that's what my babies needed. I was showing by 8 weeks - because that's how my body carries children. I never dropped with either babe, so I comically looked like I was carrying an exercise ball stuck up under my shirt, but looked unpregnant from behind. But both my babies were born healthy & hearty, and my body went back into shape within 9 months post partum. Because that's how I gestate my babes. And its going to be different for every woman. But its RIGHT for me. And how you all carry your babies is right for you. Try to enjoy it for what it is!!!

Tweet me: @kellynaturally Working Mom to 2 Montessori-schooled kids. We're a vegetarian family! I blog at kellynaturally.com <--link in my profile!

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#13 of 16 Old 02-28-2009, 07:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AmberLynn View Post
It almost seems like this pregnancy is too good to be true, and that makes me nervous.
I know just what you mean

read.gifLisa married to geek.gifB WAHM to moon.gifC (08.09)

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#14 of 16 Old 02-28-2009, 11:09 PM
 
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Just wanted to post my two cents...I wish the original post here had been on my DDC when I was pg with my daughter, because I was SO nervous (and got so tired of all the rude comments!) when I still wasn't really showing at 6 months...I think my first "stranger" comment (the clerk at Trader Joe's - "So, when are you due? Oh god, I do hope you're pregnant... ) was at 7.5 months...and then I got huge (for my size), gained almost 50 pounds overall, and had a relatively small but perfectly healthy full-term baby (6 lbs., 13 oz.)...so I guess you just never know! This time around I've been showing since before I even knew I was pg!
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#15 of 16 Old 03-03-2009, 04:55 PM
 
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I'm 17 weeks and have gained a total of 8 lbs this pregnancy with 2 babies. But I can see my belly. It's still a little bump, but it's definitely there. If I wear my usual fitted clothes, it's obvious. I think my belly is going to continue to get bigger. B/c right now it looks more than 8 lbs of weight gain, the girls are really pushing out the belly. It's soo coool. It's hard and firm and almost shiny.
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#16 of 16 Old 03-04-2009, 04:46 PM
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On the flip side of that coin, it's not unusual or uncommon to be bigger than most either, especially if it's not your first baby. I've only gained maybe 4 lbs, but yet I look about 20 weeks pregnant -at least- and I'm only 15 weeks and change. It is my third baby, but I've seen photos of a lot of women on their third or fourth even, that swear they are huge, and let me tell you, I am bigger!

Ultimately, there's a lot of variance as to how "big" you get in pregnancy. As long as your weight gain is good, your baby's measuring on target, your activity and diet are good, I wouldn't stress over it.
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