The birth of strangers having an effect on my mood - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 05-05-2009, 01:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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One of my direct reports sister is having a baby and was scheduled to go in for induction today. Completely not medically necessary induction. Not 40 weeks yet, healthy etc. My employee shares a lot cause I am pregnant too and she is young and has had a lot of questions. She knows how I feel about birth and knows about my pending homebirth. She thinks it is totally cool but also a little weird. I am generally not the norm and she seems to notice that.


So, I just got an IM from her from the hospital . Her sister checked in this morning and before they even started induction they scheduled her for a c-section claiming the baby couldn't handle "a natural birth". Mind you she was ready for pit and more or less had signed up for the epi in the parking lot so how they can call that natural is beyond me. Vaginal yes, natural, not so much.

It just seemed so out of control. First I got kind of angry, then sad for her.
I know this is the decision she is making and may be the right thing for her and it in no way effects me or my family but for some reason it is hard for me to shake.

Makes me long for a second natural birth experience.

Pernille, Married to : mom to my 2 littel boys :4/12/07 and : 8/24/09
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#2 of 13 Old 05-05-2009, 01:28 PM
 
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I feel this way all the time. I talked to an old friend of mine when she was 30 weeks pregnant. She told me that her doctors said that her baby was going to be too big to deliver, so she should schedule her c-section soon. How in the world would they know that at 30 weeks? I tried to get her to watch The Business of Being Born and explained to her these things are medicially crazy! It just falls on deaf ears. I try to stay away from people like that because the amount of ignorance frustrates me.

I have a really hard time buying that an induction/c-section done with ZERO medical reasons could really be the birth that is right for someone. I'm not that compassionate about these things. I tend to offend people because I JUST KNOW they're wrong and uneducated. THE INFORMATION IS OUT THERE PEOPLE! At least know the options and the reasons why your doctors do things.

There is so much to nature that we just don't understand fully. I really believe that a natural birth is so amazing, powerful, healthy and NORMAL. So many hormones, sensations and feelings happen that are all necessary for the lifelong health of the mother and baby. I wish people would care or understand the importance of this... I wish.. I wish..

I'm done now!

Abra, Married to George, Mother to DS 12/03 & DD1 08/09 & DD2 12/11.  We are planning our next adventure to South America in April 2014!
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#3 of 13 Old 05-05-2009, 05:26 PM
 
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Of the three women I know with children under 3 all had C-sections and seem to almost expect that I will have one too. I mention that a C-section scares me and they all went on about how fantastic they were. Mind you I saw at least two of them right after the C-section it was not easy or unpainful for them, they was miserable!

The crazy thing is only one of them had one for a medical reason and even though her first was absoluletly neccessary (complete placenta previa), her second one almost killed her. She was diagnosed with Placenta percreta (her placenta grew through her first C-section scar and was outside her uterus and was near her bladder). She had a terrible delivery. She also reminded me why C-sections can not be taken lightly since they can cause dangerous future complications.

I am open to C-sections if you HAVE to have them, but the flippant way so many people treat them these days just freaks me out!!!!!! I am so shocked how a natural birth is being seen these days to be the abnormal way to birth instead of the norm.

Belly Dancing, Tattooed, Veggy, Mum to DS 8/16/09 Married to a : Tattooed Geek at home with Dot and Dash fur babies : <-- pretend I am a rat
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#4 of 13 Old 05-05-2009, 05:38 PM
 
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As bad as that is, what my friend's nurse practitioner said is by far the worse excuse for a c-section I have ever heard in my life. and mind you, this is also a first pregnancy. The NP was talking about different reasons for maybe needing/wanting a c-section (this was her first appt. at only 8 weeks). Once my friend elaborated how she did NOT want a c-section the NP said, "well, you might want to consider vaginal preservation"..... WTF!!!! I almost lost it when she told me this. I was so offended that a woman, of all people, would say this to a first time mom that is so new to everything. My friend was appalled too!

Michele married to Dh since Dec 2000 and happily sharing a home with 3 kitties, 1 doggy, DS R born 8/25/09 into the arms of his mama, and DS E born 2/25/2012

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#5 of 13 Old 05-05-2009, 07:20 PM
 
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I know exactly what you mean. I did everything I could think to try and make sure I had a natural birth: no interventions, birthed at an alternative birthing center with a mid-wife, etc. I ended up needing to be transferred for a C-section and it was just devastating for me. Even worse, I suffered life-threatening complications from the C-section that left me hospitalized for 10 days post-partum. So when I hear about women volunteering to have that done, it just makes me cringe.

I also get a little jealous when I think of a friend of mine who was induced, had epidurals up the yinyang and still ended up having a vaginal birth. She was practically on the table ready for a C-section when she finally delivered the baby. I think, how did she manage to have a vaginal birth when I failed so miserably at it.

I am trying for a VBAC with this pregnancy and I hope I am successful. I really long to experience "real" childbirth.

Mommy to DS Adrian 8/10/04 and DD Geneva 9/02/09
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#6 of 13 Old 05-05-2009, 08:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been getting updates all day and I am so sad for her.
They rushed the baby out and she was told she would not be able to hold him until tomorrow. I can't imagine how hard that must be. Preggo hormones almost made me cry for her.

I am sure I don't know all the details but apparently he had some fluid in the lungs and the cord around his neck. From what I understand, cord around the neck is normal (mine had his around 3 times) and the fluid happens more in c-sections because there is not the passing through the birth canal to expel any liquid.

I completely understand if you need the c-section for medical reasons but not questioning "orders" from doctors and just doing what you are told. I guess I will never understand. I am terrified of a c-section too. I will pretty much do anything I can not to have it happen but if there is no other option and I have properly discussed it with my midwife etc and am confident it truly is needed then of course I will suck it up

Pernille, Married to : mom to my 2 littel boys :4/12/07 and : 8/24/09
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#7 of 13 Old 05-05-2009, 10:24 PM
 
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That's sad.

I did want to say, however, that I attempted a HB. I am a complete homebirth advocate. I plan on becoming a HB Midwife. My labor was 36 hours and my body had other ideas however. At that point I made the best decision to transfer and receive pitocin and then a walking epidural. Without these two things, I would have had a C section. I was too tired and so was my body to move forward. A walking epidural made the contractions bearable, but I still totally felt all parts of my body and the pressure of my contractions. It only lasted for 2 hours (enough to get 2 hours of sleep). I had a midwife at the hospital and was allowed to push in any position and stand and move as much as possible. My birth experience was about as natural as was the 36 hours prior and much much more enjoyable and effective. Not all medicated birth is bad. So try to smile and remember it's not all so bad.

Now back to the subject, this poor woman is being totally mislead. This is irresponsible and WRONG. But there is nothing you can do really. I have to say, if a woman is not interested enough in the health of her child and herself to at least do some research, then I feel little pity for her. Blindly trusting someone who says it's not going to happen is really silly on her part. Sorry, maybe that's harsh, but it's how I feel. It will affect your birth however, seeing as birth is completely psychological. Try to get in your bubble, hun. Block it all out and go home and watch a youtube of homebirth. Surround yourself with positivity!
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#8 of 13 Old 05-05-2009, 10:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jadzia View Post
I know exactly what you mean. I did everything I could think to try and make sure I had a natural birth: no interventions, birthed at an alternative birthing center with a mid-wife, etc. I ended up needing to be transferred for a C-section and it was just devastating for me. Even worse, I suffered life-threatening complications from the C-section that left me hospitalized for 10 days post-partum. So when I hear about women volunteering to have that done, it just makes me cringe.

I also get a little jealous when I think of a friend of mine who was induced, had epidurals up the yinyang and still ended up having a vaginal birth. She was practically on the table ready for a C-section when she finally delivered the baby. I think, how did she manage to have a vaginal birth when I failed so miserably at it.
I am trying for a VBAC with this pregnancy and I hope I am successful. I really long to experience "real" childbirth.
YOU did not fail. I am so so sorry for that. You CAN and WILL BE successful mama! Your body was made to do it!
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#9 of 13 Old 05-06-2009, 01:04 AM
 
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I am so not looking forward to my c-section. I've had all my babies but one vaginally... and would totally do it again if not for the fact my once c-section was an emergency so I don't have a safe incision to labor with. Even the OB and Peri said I could have a vaginal birth, until they saw the records detailing my incision

I can't imagine undergoing this kind of surgery without a really good reason. The recovery is SO much easier from vaginal birth- with our with out pit/epidurals/episotomies... I think I've done it all over the years LOL

Jayme-
Boy13, Boy12, Boy10, Girl7, Girl5, Twin Boys 6/14/09
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#10 of 13 Old 05-06-2009, 08:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ApplePieBaby View Post
I am so not looking forward to my c-section. I've had all my babies but one vaginally... and would totally do it again if not for the fact my once c-section was an emergency so I don't have a safe incision to labor with. Even the OB and Peri said I could have a vaginal birth, until they saw the records detailing my incision

I can't imagine undergoing this kind of surgery without a really good reason. The recovery is SO much easier from vaginal birth- with our with out pit/epidurals/episotomies... I think I've done it all over the years LOL
Oh hunny that's sad. I'm so sorry.
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#11 of 13 Old 05-06-2009, 11:22 AM
 
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What a bummer for this young girl. I think I would have a hard time if this was happening to someone I knew, also. I hope she gets to really love on her baby soon!
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#12 of 13 Old 05-06-2009, 01:42 PM
 
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What a bummer for this young girl. I think I would have a hard time if this was happening to someone I knew, also. I hope she gets to really love on her baby soon!
It seems that this kind of thing happens to women I meet almost daily. I know many, many people with stories like this. I also know many women that suffer from years of anxiety related to these kinds of situations. A little research and so much of it could be prevented.. Why?!?!?

Abra, Married to George, Mother to DS 12/03 & DD1 08/09 & DD2 12/11.  We are planning our next adventure to South America in April 2014!
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#13 of 13 Old 05-07-2009, 12:08 AM
 
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aw how frustrating! I've had a few friends that were induced and ended up with a c-section. none of them were overdue, and SOME weren't even close to due yet (38 weeks!) ....then when labor didn't progress, they were sectioned.

argh, poor mamas and babies..

married to my best friend, stillheart.gif britt, since 8.12.2004 ...homeschooling mama to my girls: avi born 8.3.05, my ryan leanor 1.5.08, azia 9.2.09, and #4 a BOY! due in november 2011.  homebirth.jpg

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