so the conversation went like this - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 25 Old 07-16-2009, 11:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
rclaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Rockland County
Posts: 127
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
ME: walk up and get in line at the grocery store. Milk, deodorant, and butter.
Annoying Woman in Front of Me (AWFM): WOW (shouting)!! You're REALLY Pregnant!!!
ME: Yup, I sure am
AWFM: What are you having triplets??!! (shouting again, people looking)
ME: heh-heh, nooo. I'm just due soon.
AWFM: You're REALLY big!!! (more shouting)
ME: hmmm, oh...
AWFM: You're having an epidural. (statement)
ME: nope, I'm sure not.
AWFM: contorted face of disbelief, shock, horror
ME: Smile
AWFM: YOU'RE CRAZY!! (really shouting now)
ME: Yup, and I'm really looking forward to it
AWFM: NO WAY (shakes head)
CASHIER: (yay for cashier!!) I didn't have an epidural.
ME: GOOD FOR YOU!!
AWFM: more contorted face of disbelief, shock and horror. turns to me and says...It's very painful.
ME: nothing, want to push her out of the line and tell her to shut up. Controlling my self.
AWFM: How big?
ME: They say close to 8lbs
AWFM: making face like I'm going to be birthing a large elephant. THAT's BIG!!!
CASHIER: (to the rescue again!!) My daughter was 9lbs
AWFM: shakes her head

Why is it? why is it some people just want to be debbie downer. want to poo-poo your dreams? want to tell you that you can't do it? What even gives her the right to ask such personal stuff. Why didn't I think up a better reply. I should have told her that I was going under general anesthesia b/c I didn't want to remember a moment of it. After that, I'm really hoping they just keep the baby in the nursery and feed him there, and after I'm released the nanny will come get him b/c I have a trip out of the country planned. Would that make her happier? grrrr....
rclaz is offline  
#2 of 25 Old 07-16-2009, 11:45 PM
 
dislocator3972's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Colorado
Posts: 863
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I decided a long time ago to tell people that my plans for my genitalia are my business and not something I discuss in places like the grocery store. Unfortunately, I very rarely stick to that script. good for you for sticking it out, and kudos to the cashier as well!

Sarah. Married to my Mirus, raising my DD1 (Aug. '09) and my DD2 (March '11) and waiting for my newest (April '14)!
dislocator3972 is offline  
#3 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 12:35 AM
 
texaspeach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,622
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You showed remarkable self restraint!

heaven help the person who says something like that to me. I'm not above telling someone off I haven't gotten any comments yet and I'm kind of disappointed because I have all these come backs in my head.
texaspeach is offline  
#4 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 12:45 AM
 
spiritedmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: kansas
Posts: 397
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yeah, my favorite is, "you know you aren't going to get a medal for that". Stupidity truly runs rampant. Good job keeping your cool!
spiritedmama is offline  
#5 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 12:53 AM
 
caro113's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Reinholds, PA
Posts: 1,191
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a man nurse tell me that I need to get my allergy to vicodin checked out bc the drugs in an epidural are in the same family. I told him I wasn't having one and that I was doing this all naturally. He, yeah HE, just looked at me said "yea, that's what they all say" ... I could have killed him.

And ya know what, I had my baby completely drug free. Completely. Just a little lidocain (sp?) when they stitched me up.

F*ck her. You can have this baby completely drug free. I've heard of women birthing 10+ pound babies in the water with no drugs and no tearing, even.

Just remember: YOU CAN DO IT!!!


Me with my baby girl Maeleigh (Oct 08) and My (step) baby girl Whren (May 05) in Heaven with her mommy .. And introducing our little JuneBug (June 10) We heard the !!!
caro113 is offline  
#6 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 12:58 AM
 
jojojojojo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You don't need a better reply, you did fine.

Mom to : July 2007 and : August 2009!
jojojojojo is offline  
#7 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 08:25 AM
 
Koalamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Earth
Posts: 4,579
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can't stand people like that. They talk like birth is unnatural, or that women haven't been doing it forever. She probably hired someone to have a baby (for those who carry other children, more empowerment to you) for her so she didn't have to potentially get stretch marks.

There are no midwives in the area, so have to drive an hour for mine, and so I guess people around here have never heard of homebirth. The other day, my neighbor was asking which hospital I was having the baby at, and I said, I am actually having a homebirth. She looked at me like I was crazy. I asked her what she thought, and she said "I heard of those, but never actually met anyone crazy enough to have one"

another story that is ramdon:
I was applying for food stamps around 7 months pregnant and had to have an interview over the phone first. I said that I was pregnant and I was told that I would have to have proof that I was pregnant. I said I would get it, but it would be a while since my midwife is a hour away.
And the guys said, "a midwife? Not a real doctor?"
I said "yes she is a real dr, and certified too"
He said "well I am not sure. I think you are going to have to go to one of the hospitals in the are and get proof from a real dr that works in a hospital"
He then asked how far along I was, and I said 7 months.
He said "well guess I could take your midwifes word for it. She should be able to tell that you are really pregnant by 7 months."
Koalamom is offline  
#8 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 08:46 AM
 
adoremybabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,190
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
People can be so dense. Really dense.

rclaz, You can do it! Drug free birth is amazing. Don't let anyone's brainless comments make you second guess yourself.

Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

adoremybabe is offline  
#9 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 09:00 AM
 
Mommy2Austin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,461
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DDC Crashing...

I would have something along the lines of:

AWFM: You're really big!!!
Me: I thought to say the same to you, but thought it would be quite rude.

-:¦:-♥Sarah Lynne♥-:¦:-Wife to Michael and Mommy to Austin(5), Steven(3), Tristyn(1), and Laurelyn (6/3/2011)

Mommy2Austin is offline  
#10 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 09:25 AM
 
Jilian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow. Yay for the cashier! I hate when people make it sound like you're insane for not getting meds. I get that too but I respond "I've done it twice before" and they either shut up or mention that I'm lucky because I had an "easy labor".

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
Jilian is offline  
#11 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 10:17 AM
 
Mamabeakley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In the labyrinth
Posts: 2,087
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I the cashier!

You did fine. And you will do fine! And, FWIW, I really don't think 8 lbs qualifies as "big" exactly. It's kind of slightly above average. But not HUGE!

Here as mama to W (2/04), R (5/06), D (7/09), and J (12/9/12!), co-parenting with my DH

I WOH part-time, am a doula & childbirth educator, home/unschool, and hope we are nearing the center of chaos


 
  

Mamabeakley is offline  
#12 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 10:58 AM
 
mrsrayray's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: cincinnati, ohio
Posts: 213
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ah! you did great! I would've been SO MAD! aaaah!

i hate how rude people are. and i hate being told, "you want to do it naturally? well, *i* have nothing to prove, i'm getting my epidural."

i was told that before my first baby. people are jerks.

married to my best friend, stillheart.gif britt, since 8.12.2004 ...homeschooling mama to my girls: avi born 8.3.05, my ryan leanor 1.5.08, azia 9.2.09, and #4 a BOY! due in november 2011.  homebirth.jpg

mrsrayray is offline  
#13 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 11:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
rclaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Rockland County
Posts: 127
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Thanks, ladies! I was all fired up after that. I really appreciate all the support. I just don't get some people. It's like someone asking you the names you picked for your baby and saying "oooh, I hate that one! Don't name it THAT one!!" ugh. I'm not trying to win a contest. I'm not going for a medication-free birth to win an award or to gloat or prove something. I'm doing it b/c I believe it is the healthiest choice for my baby and myself on many levels. Period. I just wish people could have some tact! And, you're right...8lbs is not huge. My brother and I were both about 8lbs (he was bigger), and my daughter was 7lbs 11.5 oz at 39w 1d. So, he's looking to be about the same. Many women birth way bigger babies naturally and medication free. What's the big deal?
rclaz is offline  
#14 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 01:12 PM
 
thepoet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: in your shirt pocket
Posts: 478
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin View Post
DDC Crashing...

I would have something along the lines of:

AWFM: You're really big!!!
Me: I thought to say the same to you, but thought it would be quite rude.
OH HELLO THERE. Yes! this is exactly what I would have said!

UCing loud mouth, Fierce Protector of King Aiden, King Isaiah and Empress Estella
thepoet is offline  
#15 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 01:54 PM
 
samikashi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Metro Atlanta
Posts: 258
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rclaz View Post
ME: walk up and get in line at the grocery store. Milk, deodorant, and butter.
Annoying Woman in Front of Me (AWFM): WOW (shouting)!! You're REALLY Pregnant!!!
ME: Yup, I sure am
AWFM: What are you having triplets??!! (shouting again, people looking)
ME: heh-heh, nooo. I'm just due soon.
AWFM: You're REALLY big!!! (more shouting)
ME: hmmm, oh...
AWFM: You're having an epidural. (statement)
ME: nope, I'm sure not.
AWFM: contorted face of disbelief, shock, horror
ME: Smile
AWFM: YOU'RE CRAZY!! (really shouting now)
ME: Yup, and I'm really looking forward to it
AWFM: NO WAY (shakes head)
CASHIER: (yay for cashier!!) I didn't have an epidural.
ME: GOOD FOR YOU!!
AWFM: more contorted face of disbelief, shock and horror. turns to me and says...It's very painful.
ME: nothing, want to push her out of the line and tell her to shut up. Controlling my self.
AWFM: How big?
ME: They say close to 8lbs
AWFM: making face like I'm going to be birthing a large elephant. THAT's BIG!!!
CASHIER: (to the rescue again!!) My daughter was 9lbs
AWFM: shakes her head

Why is it? why is it some people just want to be debbie downer. want to poo-poo your dreams? want to tell you that you can't do it? What even gives her the right to ask such personal stuff. Why didn't I think up a better reply.
I should have told her that I was going under general anesthesia b/c I didn't want to remember a moment of it. After that, I'm really hoping they just keep the baby in the nursery and feed him there, and after I'm released the nanny will come get him b/c I have a trip out of the country planned. Would that make her happier? grrrr....

Sami; Dedicated to Joey, 6yrs as Wife... already 10 as Sweetheart heartbeat.gif
"attached" SAHM for our spunky Leo boys twins.gif Loki & Joseph (2 & 5)

 

 2ndtri.gif We've got a new addition - our first babygirl - arriving mid to late February! Life is good.

samikashi is offline  
#16 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 09:09 PM
 
msada's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 80
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You and the cashier sure told her, something tells me she is one sad, angry woman.

Ada lady.gifWife to ~ geek.gifFrank ~ Mom to photosmile2.gifHarry (10) ~ hearts.gifHanna (8) ~ superhero.gifHenry (5) ~ and  diaper.gifHalia arrived 8/21 
msada is offline  
#17 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 09:46 PM
 
MyZoeJane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Algonquin, IL
Posts: 598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't ever let people like this rile me up... If someone like this tries to carry on a conversation with me, I have been known to say, "Wow, you just keep getting stupider/ruder/louder/more offensive every time you open your mouth, don't you?"

Ali - Wife to Steve and mom to Zoe - age 7, and Ezra - 17 months (9/2009)
MyZoeJane is offline  
#18 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 09:49 PM
 
philomom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 9,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by msada View Post
You and the cashier sure told her, something tells me she is one sad, angry woman.
The best revenge on these folks is to keep smiling and living a happy life... cause you know they aren't.
philomom is offline  
#19 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 10:10 PM
 
lthw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 106
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think you did GREAT, saying just enough. And the cashier's responses were terrific, too. Sometimes saying less and just living your life is the very best thing you can do. People will either get it or they won't.

p.s., I really liked bluebirdmama's stories, too.
Cheers,
L.
lthw is offline  
#20 of 25 Old 07-17-2009, 10:15 PM
 
Marlet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Closer to home..
Posts: 8,986
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think you did great! Much more together than I would have been. I'd be so tempted to say something along the lines of:

Me: I'm so sorry. Is it hard for you in your daily life?
Her: Is what hard?
Me: Lacking the brain to mouth filter that keeps you from sounding like an idiot in public.

And then of course, smile politely. Too bad I wouldn't have the guts.

Give more**Expect Less
There is no such thing as bad weather. Only bad clothing.
Marlet is offline  
#21 of 25 Old 07-18-2009, 02:57 PM
 
mom2tig99Nroo03's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: praying, researchin' and bedrestin'
Posts: 9,412
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
awfm "how big"
answer "i don't know- i haven't put him/her on the scale yet- they usually do that AFTER they're born."


you did great mama! (and i woulda made sure to thank the cashier).

l, <>< wife to my sweetie, proud mama to 3 cubs, 2 who clw & 1 that i i ep for . baby was evicted early by induction due to severe pre-e/hellp syndrome
mom2tig99Nroo03 is offline  
#22 of 25 Old 07-21-2009, 11:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
rclaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Rockland County
Posts: 127
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Thanks, ladies!!!
rclaz is offline  
#23 of 25 Old 07-22-2009, 02:06 AM
 
marlygf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,472
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree, you did great standing on your own two feet. Some people are just dumb.

I don't think I've had many stupid comments last time or this time. it might be because this is my 4th. I do remember a friend giving me the "you don't win a trophy for going natural" and "you won't be able to make it" I did come back with a good one with that one at the time and told her I wasn't doing this for anyone else. I was doing it for me and the baby and I could care less what others think.

I just outright tell people now I'm having this one at home. People tell me I'm brave. I tell them they're brave to go to a hospital. I don't have to drive in labor and I'm so darn uncomfortable in hospitals, my labors at home are "easier"
marlygf is offline  
#24 of 25 Old 07-22-2009, 02:20 AM
Banned
 
Madders's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 154
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've never thought of an 8 pound baby as big. My idea of a "big" baby would be in the 11 or 12 pound range. My 10 pounders were not much bigger than the 7 pound babies
Madders is offline  
#25 of 25 Old 07-22-2009, 02:51 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Suburbian Sacramento
Posts: 4,866
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
There is a word for women like that, and I cannot use it on MDC.

But yay for that cashier! She sounds awesome.
Talula Fairie is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off