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#31 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 06:32 AM
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Ouch! He is four weeks now and nursing has become so painful! I thought we were getting the hang of it, but suddenly I am in so much pain! He tends to yank sometimes, so that might be the culprit. I don't think it is thrush and I _thought_ we had a good latch. It is so painful that I can hardly stand to hold him up on my shoulder to burp him, and I've found myself dreading the next time he wakes up because I will have to nurse him. I'm trying to stick this out. It is getting really hard, and I feel sub human at this point, sequestered in the house topless leaking and in pain
This sounds like mastitis (or beginning mastitis) to me...did you try applying moist heat before you nurse? Do you have a pump? That should be less painful, too, until it resolves...

My baby is 10 days old now, and she's super easy. (Her pediatrician said: "God only gives us what we can handle." How true.) My older daughter is adjusting finally, and we're not having quite so many tantrums at the moment. We'll see how we do when my husband goes back to work next week. Breastfeeding has gone so much better this time around. I had a fair amount of pain for a few days while my breasts were adjusting and un-engorging, but now everything is fine. I'm really looking forward to this babe becoming big enough to latch on well in the side-lying position and not necessarily need diaper changes every time! I always wake up fully and then have trouble falling back to sleep (and here I am at 5:30 in the morning!)

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#32 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 09:29 AM
 
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Anyone with preschoolers having problems with potty training regression? I know it's normal after a new baby comes but damn does it suck. I guess I will have to make up some potty charts. AGAIN.
I don't right now, but with previous children I've had older siblings start wetting the bed at night for weeks following the arrival of a baby. It's frustrating. s
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#33 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 12:45 PM
 
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wondering how texaspeach is doing...

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#34 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 01:52 PM
 
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Dislocator my baby is the same way and it is pretty normal. The first 10 days or so she was only awake when eating and now that she's coming up on 3 weeks she has longer periods of being awake but still sleeps a lot. Don't worry too much as long as your baby is nursing every 3 hours or so and wetting and dirtying diapers frequently and gaining weight. Enjoy it and get some rest because it doesn't last for too long!

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#35 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 03:21 PM
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Doe anyone know if it's normal for a newborn to be asleep anytime she isn't eating? She really isn't awake at all unless she's feeding. She'll wake up when we change her dipe, but then she just wants to eat and go back to sleep.

Maybe I'm just being neurotic because this is my first and I haven't been around a newborn in a while?

I think we've gotten our feeding problems worked out. We certainly have a lot of work to do with nursing, but we have a plan and seem to be making progress.

I'm trying to tell myself that everything she's doing is normal for a newborn, but I'm always nervous that it isn't. When do I stop being neurotic???:
Normal. As long as your baby is waking up enough to eat, and having plenty of wet/dirty diapers, you're fine. It's only babies that are too sleepy to even eat that are a big worry.
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#36 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Somewhere around 3-4 weeks babies just seem to "wake up"... the alert/awake periods get longer and they need more stimulation and active interaction. It's adorable to have an awake-ling but enjoy the sleepy newborn phase since it's never gonna come back!

We took our first real "outing" today to pick up veggies at our CSA (the pick up is at the farmer's market). I had high hopes but it was a real crash and burn. DS was fine and loved the moby, my stitches were sore since t's a 10-15 minute walk into the market and the same back out but I'd planned on that (hot day+walking = sweaty+ouch!), and I had hopes for getting an iced coffee and a few pictures by the lake. Well, dd2 screamed/cried/yelled/stomped feet the whole time. She screamed on the car trip there, screamed on the walk, screamed at the market, screamed on the walk back, screamed on the way home. Just non-stop unrelenting 2yo temper tantrum for almost 2 hours.

So no pictures, no coffee, no slow walk to minimize ouchies. And now that we're home the crankies have spread... my 4yo is upstairs stomping and yelling and acting out too. It's crazy. This sort of massive meltdown is really unusual and of course my undercarriage is a total wreck and I feel cruddy too so I'm struggling as well. How the heck am I going to manage this week?

We have a dr visit every day Tues-Fri (including one visit for vax and one for me to have my sutures checked), preschool starts Wed, dd2 has therapy Wed as well, we are flat out of groceries so there needs to be a shopping trip, and dh is back at work. It's also dh's birthday, an ICAN meeting, and the first Sunday of church this coming week. I had figured that Tor would arrive on or before his 8/7 due date and I'd have most of August to adjust... but with him arriving on the 22nd I'm in hard core hormonal/physical recovery land and am about to get slammed!

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#37 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 03:55 PM
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That sounds horrific Wombat and it sounds like my life after I had #2. It was always like that And people wondered why I didn't just cure my PPD by "getting out more."

Is there any way you can cancel a few of those activities? It sounds like way too much for someone so newly post partum. I don't even think I could do it now at almost 3 weeks PP.
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#38 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 04:19 PM
 
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Peter is a week old and I'm in awe that he is gaining and gaining well! DD and I had so many nursing issues that I never really expected to have an adequate supply for this little guy. : that this keeps up....

DD is adjusting well. She PTed herself last week out of the blue.

I'm gradually getting out of the house more and more. I'm still a bit uncomfortable on my feet for really long periods of time, but every day is an improvement over the last.

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#39 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 05:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wish I could! I'm just not sure what/how! This coming week is the sort of tsunami that takes down even normally functioning top of the world families. I've already turned down invites to two other bday parties, removed myself from the Sundae Sunday serving group (1st sunday of the church year is a sundae party), arranged for the Wed therapist to come to our home (instead of my dropping dd1 off at school and taking dd2 AND brand new ds to the science center germ fest), and am hoping that Monday's holiday will mean an empty grocery store.

We'll do something at home for dh's birthday... I have a gift and I'll collect handprints from the kiddos to make "their" gift.

I'm the secretary of the ICAN group so I need to be there... but it'll be fairly laid back and dh will have the girls so it may actually be relaxing?

The dr visits are going to hurt in terms of time, effort, and cost. But we've been waiting months for some of these visits (our family practice dr is one of the few left and while they were very laid back when we started seeing them 5 years ago they are now massively overbooked and busy) and in the case of dd1 she can't attend preschool on Wed if she doesn't get a clean bill of health from the dr on Tuesday.

Sigh. I'm just looking at this coming week and trying not to cry. And hoping to heck that I don't relapse into PPD (which I've had with both of my previous babes). I'm popping pulsatilla and rescue remedy like there's no tomorrow and planning a stop at the craft store (next to the grocery store) to maybe find a few beads for a worry bead bracelet.

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#40 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 09:31 PM
 
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Clay, I hope your week goes well.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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#41 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 09:35 PM
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I wish I could! I'm just not sure what/how! This coming week is the sort of tsunami that takes down even normally functioning top of the world families. I've already turned down invites to two other bday parties, removed myself from the Sundae Sunday serving group (1st sunday of the church year is a sundae party), arranged for the Wed therapist to come to our home (instead of my dropping dd1 off at school and taking dd2 AND brand new ds to the science center germ fest), and am hoping that Monday's holiday will mean an empty grocery store.

We'll do something at home for dh's birthday... I have a gift and I'll collect handprints from the kiddos to make "their" gift.

I'm the secretary of the ICAN group so I need to be there... but it'll be fairly laid back and dh will have the girls so it may actually be relaxing?

The dr visits are going to hurt in terms of time, effort, and cost. But we've been waiting months for some of these visits (our family practice dr is one of the few left and while they were very laid back when we started seeing them 5 years ago they are now massively overbooked and busy) and in the case of dd1 she can't attend preschool on Wed if she doesn't get a clean bill of health from the dr on Tuesday.

Sigh. I'm just looking at this coming week and trying not to cry. And hoping to heck that I don't relapse into PPD (which I've had with both of my previous babes). I'm popping pulsatilla and rescue remedy like there's no tomorrow and planning a stop at the craft store (next to the grocery store) to maybe find a few beads for a worry bead bracelet.
I hope it all goes smoothly.

I already felt the PPD coming on and made an emergency appointment with the pdoc for meds. Thank the good Lord for Wellbutrin.
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#42 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 09:53 PM
 
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Wombat- I hope it goes ok. That was somewhat like this past week with me, and having to do things for the kids, but not quite ready at 7 days out. We got through it, but with a major case of the sleepies and baby blues. I didn't let it all out though and I hope it doesn't creep back up next week.

VENT- my dh went wakeboarding this morning. Till noon. Gone at sunrise. I was ok with it cause my mom came and got the boys and took them till about 11:15. I just thought dh would be home by the time they got home. Now I think he is about to go out with his friends. I have a 11 day old baby. I do most of the baby duties, but it is just nice to have someone here with me to be near by while I do it. I am starting to get stir crazy, and wanting just a grocery trip or something to myself. He goes to work all day and gets grown up time. I just now confronted him about not even telling him he was making plans, or asking how I felt about it and got "I am leaving no matter what."
Now I am crying. Am I overeacting? I recognize I could be, I think I am just tired.

Busy wife to dh for 5 years and mama to ds1 (11.09.04), ds2 (7.17.06) and ds3 coming Aug 09. :::
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#43 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 10:04 PM
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Wombat- I hope it goes ok. That was somewhat like this past week with me, and having to do things for the kids, but not quite ready at 7 days out. We got through it, but with a major case of the sleepies and baby blues. I didn't let it all out though and I hope it doesn't creep back up next week.

VENT- my dh went wakeboarding this morning. Till noon. Gone at sunrise. I was ok with it cause my mom came and got the boys and took them till about 11:15. I just thought dh would be home by the time they got home. Now I think he is about to go out with his friends. I have a 11 day old baby. I do most of the baby duties, but it is just nice to have someone here with me to be near by while I do it. I am starting to get stir crazy, and wanting just a grocery trip or something to myself. He goes to work all day and gets grown up time. I just now confronted him about not even telling him he was making plans, or asking how I felt about it and got "I am leaving no matter what."
Now I am crying. Am I overeacting? I recognize I could be, I think I am just tired.
Not overreacting at all. In fact, if that were my DH, I would be flipping out. You need some time to yourself, and he should be pitching in more. Especially during this special time he should be home with you as much as possible. The baby is only a baby once, you know? Plus at 11 days post partum you still need help doing household chores and whatnot.
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#44 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 11:09 PM
 
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He ended up saying he wasn't going, but to go get his tux fitted for a wedding he is in next month. He has been very helpful and great thus far. In all fairness, I kinda take over the role of caregiver for the baby and don't really ask for his help with him. He normally does a good amount of housework. This is out of character for him for sure. We talked before he went, but he was more defensive than empathetic. He says he is not going tonight, but possibly tomorrow. I think I am feeling resentful, but I am not sure how, cause I want to be home with the baby and not out with friends. I guess I want him to want to be here to. Does that make sense?

Busy wife to dh for 5 years and mama to ds1 (11.09.04), ds2 (7.17.06) and ds3 coming Aug 09. :::
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#45 of 59 Old 09-05-2009, 11:10 PM
 
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Not overreacting at all. In fact, if that were my DH, I would be flipping out. You need some time to yourself, and he should be pitching in more. Especially during this special time he should be home with you as much as possible. The baby is only a baby once, you know? Plus at 11 days post partum you still need help doing household chores and whatnot.
Yep I ended up flipping. more tears when we talked before he left to go to the tux store. I guess he just needed to get out AGAIN. :

Busy wife to dh for 5 years and mama to ds1 (11.09.04), ds2 (7.17.06) and ds3 coming Aug 09. :::
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#46 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 02:02 AM
 
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I wish I could! I'm just not sure what/how! This coming week is the sort of tsunami that takes down even normally functioning top of the world families. I've already turned down invites to two other bday parties, removed myself from the Sundae Sunday serving group (1st sunday of the church year is a sundae party), arranged for the Wed therapist to come to our home (instead of my dropping dd1 off at school and taking dd2 AND brand new ds to the science center germ fest), and am hoping that Monday's holiday will mean an empty grocery store.

We'll do something at home for dh's birthday... I have a gift and I'll collect handprints from the kiddos to make "their" gift.

I'm the secretary of the ICAN group so I need to be there... but it'll be fairly laid back and dh will have the girls so it may actually be relaxing?

The dr visits are going to hurt in terms of time, effort, and cost. But we've been waiting months for some of these visits (our family practice dr is one of the few left and while they were very laid back when we started seeing them 5 years ago they are now massively overbooked and busy) and in the case of dd1 she can't attend preschool on Wed if she doesn't get a clean bill of health from the dr on Tuesday.

Sigh. I'm just looking at this coming week and trying not to cry. And hoping to heck that I don't relapse into PPD (which I've had with both of my previous babes). I'm popping pulsatilla and rescue remedy like there's no tomorrow and planning a stop at the craft store (next to the grocery store) to maybe find a few beads for a worry bead bracelet.
Just take it one day at a time, friend! I hope this week just flies by and you make it through okay. Hugs!


Things are great here.... They haven't been for the past few weeks, but everything is looking up now, thank goodness! Our three daughters had a virus that turned into Croup for two of them and that was scary stuff! We have been to the peds office about 6 times over the past 3 weeks, crazy.

I also had a MAJOR meltdown and locked myself in my bedroom (with the baby) last Sunday for the entire day. I only went out of the room once for food and my hubby thought I had totally lost it. I was definitely depressed, but it only lasted two days.

My husband also got a rejection letter from the place he's been looking to work for for the past 6 months. It was a lengthy interview process and we are pretty bummed that he didn't get the job.

Isaac is a WONDERFUL baby and is just starting to "wake up". He sleeps about 18 hours a day I would say and has about 4-6 one hour awake periods spread throughout each day. He is also growing like a weed and is at least 11 pounds by now. He was 7 11 at birth and is 4 weeks old. I cannot believe how fast this is going by. I am really wanting more babies some day, that is for sure!

I have been reading all the posts, but haven't been able to reply until now. I'm so glad I get to be in touch with other mamas who are going through the same things we are!
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#47 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 02:13 AM
 
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Yep I ended up flipping. more tears when we talked before he left to go to the tux store. I guess he just needed to get out AGAIN. :
My husband is busy ALL THE TIME and I am home almost all day and most evenings by myself with 4 kiddos. I think that I why I needed a "mental health day" last weekend.

Let him know how you feel and explain to him that everything is magnified by like 1000 times because of the hormones. I know men can't really understand but we need to do the best we can to keep our marriages alive during this stressful time, too, know what I mean.

Get this: I had our baby on a Friday, came home on Saturday and hubby went back to full time work on Monday. I think I cried about something on Monday night when he was home from work and he looked at me point blank and said "It just seems like you have really changed a lot over the past few days." I was 3 days pp and he thinks I had changed a lot.... I think so, too, LOL!

Anyway, hang in there, you will feel SO much better in a few weeks. Going from 2-3 kiddos was really hard for me, but by the 6 week mark things will be going much smoother than they are now. Hugs!
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#48 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 09:58 AM
 
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aydensmama - nope not over reacting. I think our DHs have their own version of the post partum shock and act out. Seems like yours runs away.
Mine just get really negative and has a short fuse. If he drops somethign it is hte end of the world and he swears and gets all angry. Completely over reacting. I actually told him to leave yesterday, go do somethign that made him happy and come back as a productive positive member of the family. I am refusing to walk on egg shells because of his little post partum depression and freak out sessions.

I am just short of 2 weeks out from a pretty major surgery and he seems to think I am perfectly capable of doing everythign I did before the baby. I don;t think so. It is like when I got better he got worse. While I was in the hospital and the first few days home he was great, totally stepped up and became primarily caregiver for hte whole family. Now I am up and able to leave the house, make dinner etc. and he has regressed no being able to do anything. Funny how that goes. Like a weeks responsibility was all he could handle.

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#49 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 12:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hugs Aydensmama (and all the others dealing with the hormones and life shifting!)- not over reacting, though I know the hormones/sleep dep/realization that things have "changed" do have me more on edge than I would be otherwise. My dh is fabulous and loving and caring but he also gets out of the house, has regular "adult time", works on projects that have clear "completion" points (unlike baby care where there is always another dirty diaper on the way, or house care where the floor will be dirty again and the sink full of dishes again pretty quickly), and takes naps. In fact, he is napping right now.

Yes... he let me sleep in a half hour this morning and got the girls breakfast. But I came downstairs, bathed and nursed and dressed the babe. Got the girls brushed and "decent". Did the dishes and settled the girls with crafts before sitting down to nurse again (I'm nak at the moment) while watching them and getting in some mdc time before lunch. And he's napping because he got up to change dipes last night. But every dipe involved nursing and while the dipe takes a few minutes to change, the nursing is 20-30 minutes of sitting up on the edge of the bed. (oversupply + little babe= upright nursing posture necessary to prevent gassy/spitup)

Sigh. I'm really not complaining! I know I've got it easier than many and the girls are being really good... I'm just tired and hormonal!

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#50 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 12:50 PM
 
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I think sometimes husbands just don't get it. They expect us to be back to normal within a few days. I know that as soon as I start getting up and doing small things my H takes it as a sign that I'm back to normal and ready to resume all of my usual tasks. I have to remind him that I'm still recovering from birth and need to ease into things. It helped a LOT when the MW showed him the placenta after the birth and said "your wife has a wound the size of this placenta inside of her body, if she had a wound that big on the outside everyone would be freaking out, so make sure she takes it easy while her wound heals". That really put it in perspective for him.

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#51 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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Get this: I had our baby on a Friday, came home on Saturday and hubby went back to full time work on Monday. I think I cried about something on Monday night when he was home from work and he looked at me point blank and said "It just seems like you have really changed a lot over the past few days." I was 3 days pp and he thinks I had changed a lot.... I think so, too, LOL!

Anyway, hang in there, you will feel SO much better in a few weeks. Going from 2-3 kiddos was really hard for me, but by the 6 week mark things will be going much smoother than they are now. Hugs!
Thank you so much for this!!!!

And my hubby said the same thing! Yep some things have changed I would say

I had a good cry last night and this morning before church, and am feeling more normal. I also got to go to church, and have some adults to speak to. We went out to lunch and did our normal Sunday thing! Ohhhhh so sweet!

Busy wife to dh for 5 years and mama to ds1 (11.09.04), ds2 (7.17.06) and ds3 coming Aug 09. :::
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#52 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 03:30 PM
 
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Wombat, Jillian and Pernillep- Thank you so much! It helps to feel normal among all of us going through the same thing. I like to think I have a good dh, but it is tough when he acts like this. My husband also thinks I am a ok. I have to keep telling him I had a baby less than two weeks ago, am still tired, and nursing is really taking it out of me!

Thanks girls!!!!!

Busy wife to dh for 5 years and mama to ds1 (11.09.04), ds2 (7.17.06) and ds3 coming Aug 09. :::
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#53 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 05:35 PM
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Everyone says going from 2 to 3 is the hardest transition but I actually found going from 1 to 2 was way, way worse. Maybe it's becuase my kids are so close in age. Maybe it's becuase my first was the fussiest child to ever be born.

I also have more help this time around. Hubby got almost three weeks off. And my older kids, though still adjusting, are really sweet and want to help with the baby.

Other than the PITA of using nipple shields and the general exhaustion of the grueling newborn period, everything is going ok.

Oh, and the best part? I am not vomiting anymore!!!!! :::
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#54 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 05:39 PM
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Wombat, btw, speaking of OS and OAL: I think you were right about the green poops. I had some dairy the other day to test the theroy and babe was fine. But I also started nursing twice on each boob before I switch. And pumping the excess (in small amounts so as not to make the OS worse). Seems to have done the trick.

Oh, and I also have to nurse sitting up. Meh.
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#55 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 08:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yay! Glad you can keep the dairy for now. Though middle of the night sitting up nursing is not much for giggles.

My OBs from dd2's pregnancy had a theory that mamas with oversupply get their cycles back sooner since their babes nurse "less frequently/intensely" to get adequate milk. So that's something to keep an eye out for. Tor has puked on me twice when his belly was just too full of milk. DD1 used to do that a lot so I'm used to the "crunchy milk hair" but ugh. I try to remind myself that it's good for my skin.

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#56 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 09:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Amanda Williams View Post

I also had a MAJOR meltdown and locked myself in my bedroom (with the baby) last Sunday for the entire day. I only went out of the room once for food and my hubby thought I had totally lost it. I was definitely depressed, but it only lasted two days.
I am sorry mama, but I feel so validated to read this. I too had a day of this, glad I am not the only one.

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#57 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 10:02 PM
 
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hey ladies!!! long time, no post. : we're doing good here. glad to hear you all are doing okay too!

on the topic of dh's, mine said something similar to pp. he said that the responsibility becomes real after the birth and it's a little overwhelming sometimes. that's why he (and probably other guys) get testy afterwards. it's like a perfect storm, though, b/c we are naturally emotional at the same time, so it's a recipe for trouble in the family. everybody has to adjust, i guess....

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#58 of 59 Old 09-06-2009, 10:26 PM
 
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I think sometimes husbands just don't get it. They expect us to be back to normal within a few days. I know that as soon as I start getting up and doing small things my H takes it as a sign that I'm back to normal and ready to resume all of my usual tasks. I have to remind him that I'm still recovering from birth and need to ease into things. It helped a LOT when the MW showed him the placenta after the birth and said "your wife has a wound the size of this placenta inside of her body, if she had a wound that big on the outside everyone would be freaking out, so make sure she takes it easy while her wound heals". That really put it in perspective for him.
Bless your MW: My husband has been very supportive and really taken over much of the responsiblities in the house. However, it has now been 10 days since our DD was born, and I am getting the feeling he is thinking I should be back to normal by now. I did go for my first "outing" to the store yesterday and after just an hour of being out, the nasty hemoriod started acting up. I was even shocked that doing so little could have an impact. It was a clear sign for me that I still need to take it easy. However, too bad the hubbys don't always realize it too.
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#59 of 59 Old 09-07-2009, 03:17 PM
 
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on my way to the hospital.. hoping this goes ok :
Hope you're doing well!

We're doing good over here. The afterpains are KILLER though, yikes. Everyone says they get worse with each baby, and this is NO joke. Totally comparable to labor contractions, and I didn't believe it till they showed up kicking me in the arse. Everything else is fine, Dominic is nursing like a little maniac, is calm and sleepy most of the time, and I have been healing pretty good. :

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