Depressed about my postpartum body - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-16-2009, 04:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am an extremely vain person. I know that is horrible, but I admit it. I am not suffering from PPD. I love the baby, I love my life, I love being a mommy (most days). But my appearance is not helping me feel sexy or good about myself.

I am 8 weeks post partum, My stomach is sagging, I am hairy and have little time to take care of that, I smell most days and well I have acne like a 15 year old boy. My boobs are HUGE and sagging and leaking. LOL

Now I gained way less weight with this babe, but I am also 3 years older. My body just needs a lot of work and while I want to work out, the baby is a NEWBORN and likes to be held (which of course I understand is normal). I am truly cherishing her and this short time of her needing me as much as she does, but I am just antsy to be ME again. **SIGH**


That is my vent... Sorry for sounding so vain... ME ME ME.. LOL
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:54 PM
 
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That body, that you're hating to look at, grew your two beautiful, healthy children. What an amazing task!

Eat healthy, get out and exercise, nurse, you know how it goes...and enjoy your wonderful life and what truely matters.

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Old 09-16-2009, 05:21 PM
 
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I am not a vain person but I'm still a bit sad about PP body changes. DH isn't helping me come to terms with it either with his comments - some gems from the last week: Wow, I can't believe you're nearly back to your original weight you don't look any different. You have stretch marks on your boobs! (said to me right after I woke up to feed Wy, not exactly hello honey good morning, and the funny thing is I don't have new marks on my breasts, it was sheet writing and left over white indentations fro puberty growing that have always been there) At least your boobs aren't saggy [and ruined] (paraphrasing).

He doesn't mean them to be so hurtful, but jeez. I told him to keep his comments to himself, it took me nine months to grow a baby my body isn't going to go back to its former shape instantly. He apologized.

I pretty much look like hell. I need a hair cut, I have bags under my eye, I have stretch marks on my saggy belly and upper thighs, I hve mystery bruises all over, my breasts are alternately huge and engorged and floppy. It's hard to get used to this new deflated shape when just a few weeks ago I had a nice round belly.
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Old 09-16-2009, 07:08 PM
 
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All I can say is I know how ya feel.

Aleast DH is supportive, He keeps reminding me how it will take time. "it took 9 months to look like that it will take a while to go back" I am grateful for him to be so understanding but I cant wait to be good looking agian and make him wow'd. I am planning on a haircut in a few days so hopefully I will feel better but I still need to get some clothes as all I am wearing is jeans,t-shirts,sweatpants, and a few flowy shirts to hide the bulge lol.

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Old 09-16-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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I know how you feel. I still have 35lbs to get back to normal, but my goal is 30lbs to lose.

But, my breast at least look gorgeous They actually looked saggy a little before I got pregnant, and are so big now!

I am def going to go get a cut and color this weekend. I have not had one for over a year. It hink it will make me feel better.

I m also going to get some yoga pants (they make anyon'es butt look great) and some new tank tops. New clothes and hair always make me feel a little better.

When can I start working out? 5 weeks pp or 6?

Hang in there mama, I know it has to be harder bc you are doing this solo, and want to look good. Just give it a little time.
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Old 09-16-2009, 07:40 PM
 
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I hate my stomach, I worked so hard last year to get back to prepreg size then pregnant again. I feel like I will never get to my goal weight. I have more extra pounds left this time. Working hard at it, but ugh.

Annabelle Catholic wife to Jeff '92 and mom to Makaley 19 Arden 19 Anniston 17 Taegan 14 Balen 12 Kellen 10 Ellery 8 Innish 6 Eiley 4 Finnian 3 Esca 2 our 8th uc.jpghomeschool.gifwaterbirth.jpgIHhbac.gifbftoddler.gifvbac.gifand expecting sweet pea January 2014.

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Old 09-16-2009, 07:54 PM
 
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I am feeling it too. I actually think I am bigger now than I was a few weeks ago. I have started working out, but gently first with just yoga, but I am going to up it soon- because my mother was over and brought me a shirt for my birthday and it was so tiny. After I opened it, she said "oh it looks too small for you" And I said, "mom I am not that big", and she said "no you are HUGE". I am crushed to hear those words said even if they are true.

I think I need a hair cut too, but how do get my hair done with a baby and toddler to take care of all day? I need to find a salon that has child care, or better yet a spa.

I wish you mamas lived close. I would watch your babies if you watch mine.
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Old 09-16-2009, 09:20 PM
 
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When can I start working out? 5 weeks pp or 6?

Nothing hard core here, but I have been walking since week 3, about a 1/2 hour a day and now that it is September we are cutting, splitting and stacking wood. I am the stacker mostly.

Annabelle Catholic wife to Jeff '92 and mom to Makaley 19 Arden 19 Anniston 17 Taegan 14 Balen 12 Kellen 10 Ellery 8 Innish 6 Eiley 4 Finnian 3 Esca 2 our 8th uc.jpghomeschool.gifwaterbirth.jpgIHhbac.gifbftoddler.gifvbac.gifand expecting sweet pea January 2014.

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Old 09-17-2009, 12:42 AM
 
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I despise the fourth trimester! I seriously don't leave my house without at least my newborn but usually and preferably both babies just so I can hold my head up re the size of my ass and still-inflated belly at 5 weeks pp. DB is a glass-half-full kinda guy and super supportive, always pointing out where I'm smaller and assuring me that he'd "still hit it". But I have a black tie wedding to attend in ten days with a branch of my family who haven't seen me in ten years and my stupid pre-baby formal dress is a good two or three inches from closing at the zipper even with spanx and I'm not looking to waste $ on a fat dress. Even my feet grew this pregnancy!

Spring Sun, I think I'm with you on getting new yoga pants, though it won't help the event issue. Wah wah wah.

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Old 09-17-2009, 10:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I despise the fourth trimester! I seriously don't leave my house without at least my newborn but usually and preferably both babies just so I can hold my head up re the size of my ass and still-inflated belly at 5 weeks pp. DB is a glass-half-full kinda guy and super supportive, always pointing out where I'm smaller and assuring me that he'd "still hit it". But I have a black tie wedding to attend in ten days with a branch of my family who haven't seen me in ten years and my stupid pre-baby formal dress is a good two or three inches from closing at the zipper even with spanx and I'm not looking to waste $ on a fat dress. Even my feet grew this pregnancy!

Spring Sun, I think I'm with you on getting new yoga pants, though it won't help the event issue. Wah wah wah.
LMFAO!!!! That is AWESOME...


You know, I am almost 8 weeks PP. See I used to workout religiously, I was supposed to compete in a figure/body building comp. I never nursed my first and was able to get right back in the gym. I am so happy and proud to be nursing and I know it is such a sacrifice.

I ordered P90X and have been playing with cutting calories to see what I can get away with, numbers wise, still feel undead and make milk for babe. I am more concerned about my lack of muscle tone and the cellulite. AND YA, whats up with the BRUISING?????

Anyway.. glad to be in the company of you sexy PP ladies. Thanks for commiserating and offering encouragement!

Anyway, I live on
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Old 09-17-2009, 02:40 PM
 
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Bluebird, how mean of your mom! I'm sorry

NMM, what is p90x?

I feel disgusting too. DD spits up constantly so I am sweaty, fat, AND I get to smell like puke all the time too. I'm mad about my hair too, I cut it really short mid pregnancy and don't have the time to do it every morning so I look like a disaster. I need to start wearing hats or something. I just keep telling myself it will get better in a few mos. I'll fit into my clothes again. It will happen. Besides, a squishy belly is more comfy for baby to rest on, right

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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Old 09-17-2009, 03:12 PM
 
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This morning the scale said I' back to my prepg weight... but that's like 35lbs over my ideal wt. And my belly skin is so floppy and squishy. I wish I'd gotten a belly bandit.
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Old 09-17-2009, 03:21 PM
 
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brooklyn-Dh uses that phrase.

We are all in a wedding on the 1st. I broke down and bought some nice jeans (we are flying to Louisville), and a few dresses (2 formal events and one cocktail). I got them at the outlet mall (sale), and I feel a bit better about going. The size I bought is huge, but it is flattering and not too small.

Good luck!

Busy wife to dh for 5 years and mama to ds1 (11.09.04), ds2 (7.17.06) and ds3 coming Aug 09. :::
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Old 09-17-2009, 03:37 PM
 
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Formal events- it's more common for guys, but there are wedding shops that will rent items to women as well. Perhaps you can find something rentable? It may end up costing more than it would to buy though...

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Old 09-17-2009, 05:03 PM
 
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Besides, a squishy belly is more comfy for baby to rest on, right
You are too positive mama.

I was so ticked off when people would have ude comments while pregnant, but what is up with the after comments? The other day when I saw my brother, he asked me if I was pregnant again. Errg!

brooklyn, I agree about always having the kids with you while going out. If I carry the baby in a sling, I can hide my flabby belly pretty well (and the leaky milk spot on my sirt). I find myself leaving the sling on in public eben if the baby isn't in it.
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Old 09-17-2009, 05:51 PM
 
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I was so ticked off when people would have ude comments while pregnant, but what is up with the after comments? The other day when I saw my brother, he asked me if I was pregnant again. Errg!
My dad made this same comment to me at 5 days pp.. I was like, DID YOU REALLY JUST SAY THAT? I think he got the idea that it was a dumb thing to say.. Ha ha.. Sigh.

I know that I'll get back to normal in a few months, so for now I just deal with it. I've been walking a couple of miles a day since about 3 week pp. Slowly but surely it's coming off. I have 20-25 more lbs to lose. I suspect it'll take me another 3-4 months. I do buy new transitional clothes that fit. I feel a lot better is clothes that fit me properly.

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Old 09-17-2009, 06:47 PM
 
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I'm so with you ladies. I seem to have stalled on the weight loosing thing at 165-170#s... which is like 20-25# over my pre-preggo weight (I gained 50+...). Of course, this time it all seems to be in my stomach, and I'm no-where near fitting into my pre-preggo pants, though the rest of my clothes fit fairly normally. :sigh: I just need to start exerscising... I see lots and lots and lots of crunches in my future!!
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Old 09-17-2009, 07:00 PM
 
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brooklyn, I agree about always having the kids with you while going out. If I carry the baby in a sling, I can hide my flabby belly pretty well (and the leaky milk spot on my sirt). I find myself leaving the sling on in public eben if the baby isn't in it.
Me too! At least if I have baby w/ me I have an excuse, otherwise I am just a fat women, LOL.

Annabelle Catholic wife to Jeff '92 and mom to Makaley 19 Arden 19 Anniston 17 Taegan 14 Balen 12 Kellen 10 Ellery 8 Innish 6 Eiley 4 Finnian 3 Esca 2 our 8th uc.jpghomeschool.gifwaterbirth.jpgIHhbac.gifbftoddler.gifvbac.gifand expecting sweet pea January 2014.

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Old 09-17-2009, 07:50 PM
 
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Im afraid someone is going to ask when I am going to have the baby!

Kim: Wife To Colby. Mommy To DS1 Christopher and DS2 Bradly. :
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Old 09-17-2009, 08:49 PM
 
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Im afraid someone is going to ask when I am going to have the baby!
When I was 2 weeks pp baby was sleeping so I ran to the drug store along real quick and the cashier asked when I was due. It was incredibly awkward so I just said the baby was already 2 weeks old. She stammered and tried to make nice conversation but I just hurried her and left. Good times!

My favorite was when my BIL came to meet the baby at 2 days pp and said "wow, your stomach is still huge, is that your real stomach?" My sister shot him the look of death and he shut right up. He's socially not all there IYKWIM

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Old 09-17-2009, 10:03 PM
 
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Yeah - dealing with the PP bod here, too. Came off easier last time, but then again, I can't stop eating junk food for the last week or two. No wonder it's not coming off! I'll keep working at it.

I will exercise. I will exercise. I will exercise. I will exercise.

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Old 09-18-2009, 01:20 PM
 
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I despise the fourth trimester! I seriously don't leave my house without at least my newborn but usually and preferably both babies just so I can hold my head up re the size of my ass and still-inflated belly at 5 weeks pp.

OMG- This made me laugh I can totally relate, except that my other "babies" are 6 and 4 LOL.

Beth
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Old 09-19-2009, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Jilian- It's a CRAZY intense workout program to do at home. I will be sooo happy to get the DVDs and the pull up bar.

My workouts are pretty involved since I am trying to get into the personal training industry. I was supposed to compete in a Figure competition in 2008. I never got to because of money, my divorce, and school, maybe in the future.
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Old 09-19-2009, 09:27 PM
 
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As a fyi... if you have a diastasis, crunches and traditional core exercises can make it worse. Meaning you have strong muscles but still have a belly. The tupler technique, CORE program, and pilates with the reformer are all good for closing the diastasis.

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Old 09-20-2009, 12:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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As a fyi... if you have a diastasis, crunches and traditional core exercises can make it worse. Meaning you have strong muscles but still have a belly. The tupler technique, CORE program, and pilates with the reformer are all good for closing the diastasis.
I actually have a lot of loose skin. I am not sure how bad my diastasis is but I rarely do crunches, they are actually quite ineffective in general.

I plan to have Abdominoplasty next summer most likely anyway. My skin is really damaged. My stomach muscles underneath are actually not horrible from what I can tell.
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Old 09-22-2009, 03:55 AM
 
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nak.
ugh, I am right there with y'all. I have 25 pounds to lose and am finding the flab so depressing. even my maternity clothes are majorly tight on the thighs.
so i don't think i'll be rockin' my skinny clothes anytime soon.

not being able to do much exercise due to a prolapsed bladder isn't helping. i thought by now i'd be out walking every day. i need to do something productive!

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Old 09-22-2009, 12:40 PM
 
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honestly I still find the stomach flab fascinating right now... and funny. I have close to 40 to loose to be where I want and prob 15 to get to pre preg... the thing that has me depressed is my ring finger is still too "swollen" to get my wedding band back on yet... Thats my big bummer

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Old 09-22-2009, 04:38 PM
 
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I want a hair cut! I've been growing it for almost 2 years now (my hair grows slooooooooooooowly) but Tor keeps grabbing it/yanking it out and urping in it! So it's kind of sour milk crunchy. Ick!

I've added a few body image boosters though... dry brushing before my evening shower and coconut oil after.

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Old 09-23-2009, 10:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm LMAO at the crunchy spit up hair! I got that too!
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Old 09-23-2009, 11:16 AM
 
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so glad I have very short hair now He'd have to really spray to get it in my hair. He hucked all over my neck this morning but thanks to the super short pixie cut my hair is spit up free v funny how that just made today seem better.
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