For those who are co-sleeping - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 10-13-2009, 01:37 AM - Thread Starter
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Asia co-sleeps with us and take naps ON us or once in awhile in her swing. Anyone I tell this to tells me that I am going to regret this later on as she will never sleep on her own and eventually its going to be extremely difficult to get her to sleep on her own.

I dont mind her taking naps on me, as I usually take them with her, and at night I love her sleeping in the bed with me/us. Usually just me though since fiance works nights.

Anyways, I want to hear everything pro co-sleeping and good experiences you guys have had in the past, when do you have them start sleeping on their own? Any tricks to making it easier? I dont really intend on doing that until shes at least 2 or 3

Happy mama to Asia born 07/15
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#2 of 13 Old 10-13-2009, 04:55 AM
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It wasn't that hard getting the kids to sleep on their own once they were ready. Problem is when you are ready before they are, yakno? Eventually they WILL want their own bed, ime. My almost-five year old loves to sleep in her own bed. She is so proud of herself and considers herself to be a "big girl." This is the same person who was the clingiest, highest needs child you could possibly imagine. There was a time if you had told me that she'd want to sleep in her own bed I'd have laughed at you.

My second child, well, she sometimes will sleep in her own bed all night long but it's less common. I'd say she sleeps in there about half the time. She still needs to be snuggled to sleep and most of the time ends up in bed with us. That's ok though, I don't mind co sleeping with two (2 is the limit tho, I won't do three , I'd take the baby and sleep in the kids room if both of the older kids wanted to sleep in 'the big bed' as we call it).

I've always loved co sleeping. Ignore the naysayers.
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#3 of 13 Old 10-13-2009, 10:26 AM
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they will only be small and cuddle with you for such a short time over their lifetime...

why does everyone want to rush it? ahhh cuddly squshiness

i still remember the day that i didn't want anyone one touching me anymore to washup in the bath....

our babies and toddlers love, and thrive on touch...not to mention cost effective, energy saving body

my only advise is - listen closely....very important!!!!!!


my son is 2 3/4 and i get misty eyes remembering wearing him to sleep...dancing with him in the sling to Luke Kelly (whom he still loves!!!)

i don't regret could I?

i will admit that there were pita moments ...and there still are, but my son is a confident happy lil fella ... and he wakes up with a smile every morning

mom to ds '07 first day of a new year, dd '09 in the caul, and  ds '11 at home Oct 24th
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#4 of 13 Old 10-13-2009, 01:05 PM
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You're doing everything perfectly.. Give yourself a pat on the back for making your baby feel so comfortable and snuggled!

I co-slept with DS and he went to his own bed easily at 2.5. He slept on my chest for the first 4 months and then completely on his own side of the bed after that. He's never tried to get back in bed with us except for morning cuddles (after 8:00am). This has WAAAAY more to do with your child's personality than whether you co-sleep or not. I know plenty of crib babies that tried to sneak in with their parents until they're 8 and vis-versa.. It's best to give your infant the touch they NEED and then go from there. Some kids really need more touch, they actually NEED it. If they get it they are much more likely to be confident, happy adults.

Go with your instincts!

Abra, Married to George, Mother to DS 12/03 & DD1 08/09 & DD2 12/11 + Someone New in May 2015! After years of planning, we are finally living our dream in South America!!
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#5 of 13 Old 10-13-2009, 03:19 PM
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My ds1 is 2.5 and easily transitioned to a twin bed ~2. I/we nightweaned at the same time and it was utterly pain free and SO easy. I have zero regrets. He still wakes up once at night most nights, but its no big deal. We co-slept with both boys from day one. I can't imagine doing it any other way. I like my sleep too much to sacrifice it for months in order for him to sleep in his own bed. Who wants to get up to nurse? I just roll over!!
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#6 of 13 Old 10-13-2009, 04:01 PM
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I'm not in your DDC....
Anyhow DD has coslept since birth (she's 19 mos) EVERYONE was against it in our family and I told them that it was our choice and didn't let the conversation continue.
That being said, it is a choice, and there's a good chance you're going to have a small person sleeping with you for a while.
DH bought DD a toddler bed when she was about 14 mos because he found a great deal. We set it up in our room and we had no expectations that it would get any use for a long time, but she decided on her own that she was interested and sleeps about 50% of her time in it. She hasn't slept a whole night in it, but she chooses where she wants to go down each night.
I miss her when she's not in bed with us.

Deadra, Wife to Adam , Mama to Beatrix (02/08), Hudson (01/10), and Mazarine (12/13)
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#7 of 13 Old 10-13-2009, 05:47 PM
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No Cry Sleep Solution (for toddlers... it has the same info as the "baby" version but also stuff for older kiddos) by Pantley and Good Nights by Gordon. Both are great books, both suppport co-sleeping, both have techniques for moving a child to their own bed at different ages/stages, both stress that is something works for you and your family then that is all that matters! It's only a problem if it's a problem for YOU. If it's a problem for the almighty "them" or your MIL it's not really a problem.

DD1 started sleeping on her own around 2yo, then moved back with us for a while, now she is 4 and has her own bed which she uses every night. DD2 is 2 and sleeps most nights in the sibling bed with dd1 but does end up in the "big bed" 3-4 times a week for a portion of the night. We even nightweaned while co-sleeping, and we've never really stessed about getting the girls into their own beds... I'm guessing that when ds is around 2 we'll start suggesting a seperate sleep area as an option. And by the time he is 4 or 5 he'll be sleeping there most of the time.

Naps can be harder (dd1 would sleep on her own for naps if we nursed down, and she had a little "doggie bed" style nap basket. But dd2 never slept on her own and was a champion "ergo napper" till she was almost 2yo). But there are options...

Cosleeping is so yummy and snuggly.

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#8 of 13 Old 10-13-2009, 09:07 PM
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DD is two and is transitioning out of cosleeping (well, at least I think so!) Originally I coslept with her in the master bedroom- DH couldn't sleep with us, he woke up constantly and was very worried he'd roll over her. When she became mobile, around 8 months, I got a full size mattress and we moved into her room and I slept there with her until I had DS in August. Oh, and she'd been napping in her room on her own from the time we got the mattress. DH started cosleeping with DD once our son was born and I now cosleep with DS in the master bedroom. Now our two year old is starting to sleep on her own in her room. She hasn't seemed to notice that my husband no longer sleeps in there with her- it's been a far smoother transition than I expected but I think she's ready to sleep on her own. We do stay with her until she falls asleep for both naps and nighttime.
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#9 of 13 Old 10-15-2009, 02:25 PM
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Well, I guess I am outside the norm from the other posters. I have co-slept with all 3 kids. My oldest is 6, and she just started sleeping through the night about 6 months ago. She was in her own bed at two & a half though, as my 2nd DD was born. It was a very difficult transition for us to get her 1) go to her own bed at bedtime, and then 2) to fall asleep on her own, and then 3) to STTN. Now, we are going through the same transition with my 3.5 YO. We co-slept through the whole night until she was 6 months old - until I felt I could not leave her safely in my bed alone. So, then, we transitioned to her own bed at bed-time, and she came into my bed when she woke in the night. Now that #3 is here - we are struggling with getting the middle child to stay in her own bed through the whole night. It helps that my oldest & her are sharing a bed, but she still comes into my room 3 or 4 nights a week. Would I stop co-sleeping because of the difficult transition? NO. But, YES - it has been quite difficult. Neither of my 2 girls have made the change very easily. And so, I've basically spent the last 6 years not getting a "full" night's sleep.

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#10 of 13 Old 10-15-2009, 03:13 PM
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Babies are only babies for a short time. Eighty percent of the rest of the world co-sleeps. It is perfectly normal. Enjoy this time

I have four sons. All of them have co-slept. As they get older, they do sleep on their own. My oldest is 9, he started to sleep in his own bed at 3. My second son stayed in the family bed until he was 3.5, he is a great sleeper. They do learn to sleep on their own.

Good luck!

Take care,

Jen, mama to  (M-13, N- 10, C- 8
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#11 of 13 Old 10-16-2009, 11:40 PM
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i have a fussy baby,nak,
currently we have a full and queen bed strapped together to for a giant family bed for dh, me, ds 3 and new dd... with a guest bedroom availible for escape...
i works for me/us and has help improve my amount of sleep and ward off even more severe forms of ppd

Tea drinking Momma::: Grady 8/06 and : Coralynn 8/09
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#12 of 13 Old 10-19-2009, 05:57 PM
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I always had my DD1 napping on me or sleeping next to me. Always. And when she was 1 1/2 I regretted it and said never again. It was impossible to have time to myself or get out of bed without her waking up soon after.

I was all set not to be that parent again...but when DD2 came home from the hospital after 12 days, I felt so badly that she missed out on human touch and love for 2 weeks that I almost never put her down, quite seriously. When I have to shower I give her to DD1 to hold. She is never without one of us unless it's a quick hand-wash after a diaper change.

I know I'll regret it, but right now it seems to be in her best interest.

Partnered mama with DD (01/04) and DD (08/09) and hoping to conceive and also adopt in 2017!
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#13 of 13 Old 10-20-2009, 06:16 AM
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with ds1 i always slept with him in a double bed in his room, so the transition was just me moving out. DS2 sleeps in his own room with one of us, dh sleeps with him at the moment as i'm in the king size bed with the baby. DS1 is only one of us who sleeps on his own! i felt so bad i told him once the baby sleeps better he can join us when (if) he wakes in the night (he's 5).

Eventually ds1 & ds2 with share a room (there is a triple bunk bed in what will be their room) and i will move with dd into the smaller double bed, and then dh & myself will have the kingsize bed back.

Just go with it, it will all be ok in the end.

Mummy to T 06/04, L 08/06, R 08/09
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