Tell me what you love about being a mom - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-20-2009, 06:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
ombrooklyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Cause honestly, i'm not lovin it like i thought i would. I mean, I love him, I'm just not in love with being a mom.
There's so much i miss about my pre-mom days! Like my body, my sex drive, the ability to have some wine and not feel guilty, my career , Sleep, brain cells and my free time....ETC!

So...help me love it. Does it get better? For the record I'm not depressed or anything like that (ok, maybe a little stressed ).

Mom to K and R

ombrooklyn is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 10-20-2009, 07:12 PM
 
sunshynbaby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,240
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know how you feel. I'm loving him, just not the entire experience at this point. I'm focusing on the little things, like how he smiles and coos when I sing to him. When all else fails, I focus on how much DH seems to enjoy and love being a parent, hoping that it will rub off on me, lol.

Happily married mom to DS (Aug 09) and two furry troublemakers.

sunshynbaby is offline  
Old 10-20-2009, 07:18 PM
 
maddymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,041
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I felt like that with DD1........ it does get easier, usually once they sleep a bit more. ;-)
With DD2 I love her bobbleheadedness and her super sweet smiles. DD2 makes my heart melt when she is soooo sweet and loving with DD2- although that doesn't happen much- usually DD1 is trying to tackle DD2. :-)
It also helped me when I looked at my small mommy accomplishments- going to the store without any meltdowns, mastering a back carry with my mei tai, each week I continued to breastfeed, etc.
~maddymama
maddymama is offline  
Old 10-20-2009, 08:22 PM
 
Scarlet_Redhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Milwaukee
Posts: 84
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I so agree! It is not how I thought it would be either. I hear it gets better.

Interested in green living and money saving ideas? GreenThriftyMama.blogspot.com
Mama to my little dude
Scarlet_Redhead is offline  
Old 10-20-2009, 08:25 PM
 
sky_and_lavender's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,139
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can relate. I didn't necessarily expect to love mothering, but I had hoped it would be easier than I expected. It's not. Definitely things have improved from the first few weeks, but it's incredibly hard and sometimes I feel trapped and want to run away! (Not that I would ever do that.)

One thing that I try to remember is that babies change and grow really fast. Soon, they are not even babies anymore! Even if this newborn phase is incredibly difficult for me, maybe another time in the child's life will fit my skills and personality more.

Another thing is... how are you doing on sleep? Are you eating nutritious food? I notice that these two things makes a huge difference in my enjoyment of my baby.

Things that I enjoy about motherhood/baby:
  • Skin to skin contact
  • Smiling and laughing during diaper changes
  • Baby "talking" back when I "talk" to her (she really likes vowel sounds and does her best to imitate)
  • Introducing her to new people who melt at the sight of her
  • Thinking about how she is now at the beginning of her "story" and wondering what she will experience in the future (can be kind of scary!)
  • Looking at pictures of her
  • Seeing how happy my husband is with her
  • Reading books and listening to mp3s of my favorite radio shows while she nurses or sleeps in my lap

I'm wishing you the best!


Mama to a bilingual (Arabic/English) and cuddly 3 year old, and planning another peaceful homebirth in June.
 

sky_and_lavender is offline  
Old 10-21-2009, 01:56 AM
 
Abraisme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Brazil
Posts: 4,169
Mentioned: 12 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 14 Post(s)
I'm one that loves being a mom. I never liked working and was glad at the first moment I could give it up. I like the flexibility to do what I want when I want it (minus what my baby and 5yo need).

I love helping my children grow into wonderful people.

I love the love I feel for them.

I love being relaxed at the end of the day so that I can take care of my husband (who's a high stress person).

I love baby smiles, coos and snuggles.

I love watching my children learn new things every day.

I love taking care of my house and making sure it's a great place to be.

Some advice for you.. Start to structure your life around being a parent. Get some girl-friends with kids that also stay at home. Get out and do new things. Join a playgroup. Often you'll need to make new friends once you have kids. WOMEN NEED GIRLFRIENDS! My girlfriends keep me saine and give my something to look forward too. We gossip, shop and talk about parenting. It's hard to be friends with people that don't have kids (once you do). Good luck, hopefully you'll find your niche with motherhood. It really is the hardest, most wonderful job there is.

Abra, Married to George, Mother to DS 12/03 & DD1 08/09 & DD2 12/11 + Someone New in May 2015! After years of planning, we are finally living our dream in South America!!
Abraisme is offline  
Old 10-21-2009, 07:10 PM
 
GradysMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lowcountry, US
Posts: 899
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
when they look right at me and smile, when my son tells me he likes me.... I love that I really know it is hard crazy work and I havn't shyed away from the work or my goals, I just keep trying... It makes me feel so strong

I'm gonna add that I couldn't wait to stop working, my career was all screwed up - I missed getting up and going to work and getting paid but that will come again

I love showing off my babe sleeping in the Moby - it is making me almost as popular as a really pregnant belly would, maybe better, people coo and ask all kinds of questions

And I found it helpful with my first every time some one reminded me "this too shall pass". I miss my own life and now that I Think I'm done having kids one of my goals is to get my life back slowly but surely, but Nothing is worth missing out on this baby phase...

Tea drinking Momma::: Grady 8/06 and : Coralynn 8/09
GradysMom is offline  
Old 10-21-2009, 08:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
ombrooklyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
thx ladies. all of this really helps! we had a rough couple days there. but i'm happy to report today was much better!

Mom to K and R

ombrooklyn is online now  
Old 10-21-2009, 09:15 PM
RTT
 
RTT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Bolton, MA
Posts: 174
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
With a two-year-old and a two-month-old I'm completely mom-ed out lately. It's hard- nothing in my prebaby life even came close to how challenging it is to be a mother. Wine (planned around nursing, of course) helps. Somedays I actually look at my kids and think "I have a master's degree! I used to do triathlons! I once cycled across the US! I was a person!" and now it feels like all I am is Mom, changing diapers and reading the same books over and over.

But, my daughter cracks me up- she's very funny, and bright and so full of life and energy that she lights up every place she goes. Reid is still so tiny and full of potential that it's exciting to watch his personality unfold. Sometimes I actually get that swoony, falling-in-love feeling when he breaks out in a big gummy smile. He's just so sweet and cuddly.
No one really told me how hard it would be to be a parent and sometimes I desperately miss my old life. It's normal to struggle with the transition to parenthood. But there are a lot of really amazing, beautiful moments too that I never would have experienced otherwise.
RTT is offline  
Old 10-22-2009, 10:47 AM
 
momoftworedheads's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,212
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ok, first of all, falling in love with your baby is much like falling in love with your partner/significant other/DH/DW, etc
You need to give yourself time, get to know your baby and get to know yourself as a mama.

Also, you do not have to give up all of you old life. You can have a glass of wine once in a while. You can get fun clothes that fit now and learn to love the body that grew your baby. I wear shapers a lot (SPANX, etc) and that makes me feel a lot better. Also, get a new haircut or try some new make-up. Looking good generally does make your whole mood better.
Another thing -walk or try and exercise moderately - it gets those endorphins going.

What I love about being a Mom - lots of things. I love watching my sons learn new things. I love that there are four people that I love more than anything in the world and that my life is better because they are in it. It can be hard at times, but it is so worth it. My oldest son made me a mom, made me stretch my being and know what it is like to have your heart live outside your body. My second son taught me to be more patient and to slow down. I think that he really made me realize to stop and just enjoy each day. My third son is my amazing baby and he just makes me feel more thankful every day. He has some health issues and he is doing pretty well now. I just look at him and thiank God for him and for what progress he has made daily. My fourth son, he healed my soul after 4 losses and I am so in love with him. I just look at him and I am so happy for motherhood, and family. Right now, it is blissful.

Take care!!

Jen, mama to  (M-13, N- 10, C- 8 rainbow1284.gif J- 3.5, and rainbow1284.gifJ -2, angel3.gifA (10/4/07) and 3 early losses)
We are expecting baby #7 in November 2013

momoftworedheads is offline  
Old 10-22-2009, 12:04 PM
 
Lacrymosa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Utah
Posts: 301
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am a new mom as well.. It was extremely hard for me until asia was about 2 and 1/2 months old and started smiling. By then I was getting into a routine and she was getting more and more fun, starting to smile and be more aware. Now she is almost four months old and I LOVE being a mom. She is SUPER aware of us and smiling and giggling, and thinking up new ways to make her laugh is exciting. It's hilarious some of the things she will laugh at. Sometimes, when John is holding her or if she's in her swing, I will look over at her and she will already have been staring at me with a huge grin on her face---so cute. Shes very attached to us and I love that. I love to feel so needed and love when I feel like I'm doing a good job with her. She is honestly the most adorable thing I've ever seen and it just blows my mind every day that we... MADE her, that is crazy to me. She already has such a sweet and funny little personality. I love co-sleeping with her. Waking up next to her and seeing her precious face makes me smile no matter what. Somehow even her cry is cute. Sad but cute.

Most of all I love watching her learn and grow. It's such an amazing experience. This week she has acquired the ability to do things with her hands. She can grab at toys, swat at pictures, put her hands in her mouth and suck on them, instead of her arms just flailing about aimlessly. It's really fun and exciting to watch as she learns each new thing.

Taking care of a baby is the most selfless thing you can ever do. It was hard for me to get used to this to be at the point where I could truly appreciate these things. I think once I accepted that my old life was just gone it made things much easier as well, and.. not all aspects of your old life have to be gone, babies just require SO much when they are this young that it feels like that, it's really hard to get used to having absolutely no time for yourself. It wont always be like that. I'm starting to get used to 'new life' though. Now---I really can't imagine life without her. Whenever we have someone babysit, which I have a few times the past couple weeks as were moving soon and I needed to pack, the house just feels incredibly empty and strange without her.. we always can't wait to get her back!

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time now and appreciate her more as a NEW newborn. I was too scared and overwhelmed and hormonal to really appreciate how incredibly sweet and amazing they are those first few weeks..

You should definitely get a babysitter if you need to, go out and buy some new clothes, get a haircut, do something fun JUST you, or you and your husband. Make sure you two get some time together without the baby once in awhile... John let me go shopping/get a haircut last week and we went out that night just us and it made me feel so much better

Things will get easier mama.

Happy mama to Asia born 07/15
Lacrymosa is offline  
Old 10-22-2009, 08:10 PM
 
sky_and_lavender's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,139
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lacrymosa View Post
ile and be more aware.
. . .
Sometimes I wish I could go back in time now and appreciate her more as a NEW newborn. I was too scared and overwhelmed and hormonal to really appreciate how incredibly sweet and amazing they are those first few weeks..
This was such a special post, Lacrymosa. I could relate so much. My babe is 8 weeks old tomorrow and these feelings are starting to kick in more for me. Thanks for taking the time to write about your experience.


Mama to a bilingual (Arabic/English) and cuddly 3 year old, and planning another peaceful homebirth in June.
 

sky_and_lavender is offline  
Old 10-23-2009, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
ombrooklyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 595
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Yes, thank you Lacrymosa. your post was very helpful and helped put things into perspective.
hugs and kises to you and Asia

Mom to K and R

ombrooklyn is online now  
Old 10-28-2009, 02:08 AM
 
slimkins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Treasure Coast, Florida
Posts: 785
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ombrooklyn View Post
Yes, thank you Lacrymosa. your post was very helpful and helped put things into perspective.
hugs and kises to you and Asia

I agree, that was a truly beautiful post, Lacrymosa.

Michele married to Dh since Dec 2000 and happily sharing a home with 3 kitties, 1 doggy, DS R born 8/25/09 into the arms of his mama, and DS E born 2/25/2012

slimkins is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off