I know that these fears/worries are premature, but it helps my wacko pregnancy brain to write them down anyway
Connor, my youngest, is very sick. Chronically, and right now acutely. Sleep is one of his biggest issues (well, non-medical issues), and right now it's much worse because he's recovering from a 4 day stay in the hospital where he lost over 10% of his body weight
He's getting up every 1-2 hours overnight to nurse, which I recognize he has an actual need for and my breastmilk is the only thing that got him through this latest illness (and so many before it), but last night it occured to me that come September, I'll have TWO kids to feed around the clock.
I've nursed through a pregnancy before, I've tandemed before, but it was so different last time. I night-weaned Ian in my first trimester due to exhaustion, and he had no night issues at all even after Connor was born and our household was turned topsy-turvy by Connor's unexpected medical needs. I would nurse Ian when he asked during the day, but he was easily distractible if I was otherwise busy.
Connor is a very high-needs baby, not behaviorally at all, he's actually rather easy in that respect. But his medical needs are so high...therapies multiple days a week, numerous specialists that follow him on a regular basis, repeated illnesses that are often severe and have required hospitalization...and none of this will end anytime soon. This is the rest of Connor's life...and we have to fit a newborn into this.
How am I going to do this? I know I'll find a way, I always do, it'll work out, and we'll be very happy to add a baby to this household. But today, the thought is overwhelming to me.