Already thinking about caring for a newborn... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 02-16-2009, 10:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know that these fears/worries are premature, but it helps my wacko pregnancy brain to write them down anyway

Connor, my youngest, is very sick. Chronically, and right now acutely. Sleep is one of his biggest issues (well, non-medical issues), and right now it's much worse because he's recovering from a 4 day stay in the hospital where he lost over 10% of his body weight He's getting up every 1-2 hours overnight to nurse, which I recognize he has an actual need for and my breastmilk is the only thing that got him through this latest illness (and so many before it), but last night it occured to me that come September, I'll have TWO kids to feed around the clock.

I've nursed through a pregnancy before, I've tandemed before, but it was so different last time. I night-weaned Ian in my first trimester due to exhaustion, and he had no night issues at all even after Connor was born and our household was turned topsy-turvy by Connor's unexpected medical needs. I would nurse Ian when he asked during the day, but he was easily distractible if I was otherwise busy.

Connor is a very high-needs baby, not behaviorally at all, he's actually rather easy in that respect. But his medical needs are so high...therapies multiple days a week, numerous specialists that follow him on a regular basis, repeated illnesses that are often severe and have required hospitalization...and none of this will end anytime soon. This is the rest of Connor's life...and we have to fit a newborn into this.

How am I going to do this? I know I'll find a way, I always do, it'll work out, and we'll be very happy to add a baby to this household. But today, the thought is overwhelming to me.

Mommy to BigBoy Ian (3-17-05) ; LittleBoy Connor (3-3-07) (DiGeorge/VCFS):; BabyBoy Gavin (10-3-09) x3 AngelBaby (1-7-06)
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#2 of 7 Old 02-16-2009, 10:42 PM
 
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It'll be okay Mama - remember - we have MANY months before these babies arrive, and Connor is going to do SO much growing between now and then. He's not even 2 yet- and he'll be 2.5 by then!!!! Just THINK of all the differences in that age gap - even with special needs, I just know he'll have come a long way (even if it's not where Ian was).

Plus, you guys haven't even had a diagnosis for that long....know the problem is half the battle, at least you know what you're up against now. And his immunities are going to increase before then as well.

I'm not saying it won't be hairy with #3 - it will be for me, I know....but I think this baby will just fall into the environment and be FINE. The more I'm around kids, the more I realize little equals EASIER in so many ways. Yes, they need to eat and be changed more often than their elder counterparts, but they practically sleep the rest of the time (especially NON first borns - it's as if they KNOW we can't just drop everything and be ALL for them, yk?) And they're SO portable and are so content to just 'be' - in a sling - in their carseat - just 'be', yk?

Your new baby will happily accompany you to any appointments you guys have - and will likely sleep through most of them for the first 6 months (by which time Connor will be THREE!)

All this to say - Don't WORRY!

Julia(34), Mommy to: Maddie(10), Grace(6), Charlotte (3) and our only Little Man (due 2/23). 

It's a crazy life!

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#3 of 7 Old 02-17-2009, 03:19 PM
 
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to you mama. I hope he continues to get better and is a happy, sleeping little one for you. I can only imagine how you feel right now with the hormones and the feelings of being pregnant and in the first tri. Hang in there. The thought of another baby is overwhelming to me all the time and my kids are much older. I wish I could come and help you. I feel bad for even complaining.

Proud *single* mom to 3 amazing kiddos
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#4 of 7 Old 02-17-2009, 06:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks guys.

We had a good appointment with the ped this afternoon, which has elevated my mood significantly. He has gained back some of the weight he lost, which is huge for him, we were worried that we had finally reached the point where he needed a feeding tube, but it looks like once again we've avoided it...for the time being at least.

I *know* that it will be okay, I *know* that the new baby will ease into the family and we'll figure it all out, but even though I *know* all this stuff, I still have my moments where I wonder how it'll all work out. And I can either let those moments consume me in the middle of the night, or I can type them out here and let you guys set me straight

Thanks.

Mommy to BigBoy Ian (3-17-05) ; LittleBoy Connor (3-3-07) (DiGeorge/VCFS):; BabyBoy Gavin (10-3-09) x3 AngelBaby (1-7-06)
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#5 of 7 Old 02-17-2009, 08:04 PM
 
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It WILL work out! There will probably be some rough nights, for sure. But you guys will figure out your rhythm, I'm sure. It also seems like you're very optimistic and positive, and I think that will go a long ways towards a smooth transition.

My kids are all average, no SNs, but my 2nd was only 19 months when #3 was born. It was insane for awhile, but it was also easier in many ways to add #3 than it was to add #2. If that makes you feel any better!

Mommy to kids

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#6 of 7 Old 02-17-2009, 08:45 PM
 
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i'm glad you are feeling better. i was thinking about you today and feeling like you were exhausted and probably in need of some real rest and this is why you were feeling so overwhelmed.
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#7 of 7 Old 02-17-2009, 08:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by octobermoon View Post
i'm glad you are feeling better. i was thinking about you today and feeling like you were exhausted and probably in need of some real rest and this is why you were feeling so overwhelmed.
Aww...thanks! You're so right that exhaustion leads to exasperation rather quickly, and since Connor was born, I've struggled with night time especially. It just seems that all the demons come out at night, and when you're stuck with a very sick child in your arms all night, you just plead for the light of day, even though you know it won't bring "better times", at least it'll bring the rest of humanity, you know?

I am extremely fortunate to have a wonderful husband who does so much more than most husbands. I am WOHM, he is SAHD, but even aside from that, he lets me nap on weekends, he takes the boys places and gives me some "me time" once in a while, he lets me vent at him

So it's okay, it always is, I just have my moments!

Mommy to BigBoy Ian (3-17-05) ; LittleBoy Connor (3-3-07) (DiGeorge/VCFS):; BabyBoy Gavin (10-3-09) x3 AngelBaby (1-7-06)
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