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Old 02-25-2009, 02:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Had my first MW appt today at 9.3 weeks and no heartbeat She didn't seem concerned, said it was 50/50 at this point, but I have been so depressed this afternoon. I know its irrational, but I was wanting to hear that to have tangible proof that this is real. She said we are sure to hear it at the next appt. but that is four more weeks! The wait is going to drive me crazy!

She also mentioned first trimester screening, which got me all worried and wondering. I know she didn't mention it specific to us or b/c of not hearing a heartbeat, but now I am wondering if we should do it.

Anyone else not hear a heartbeat and feel terribly worried? Makes me almost wish I was using an OB, b/c then I would have had an u/s this week.

Bummer day.

photosmile2.gif Me= crunchy mama to one rambunctious toddler, born on October 1, 2009. And one sweet little baby born January 19, 2012. heartbeat.gif

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Old 02-25-2009, 02:24 AM
 
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I didn't hear a heartbeat until at least 10 weeks with both my kids. Can you go back in 2 weeks for a quick check of the heartbeat instead of waiting 4 weeks?

Hang in there!

Mom to:
DD (1/03) , DS (9/05) , DD (10/09)
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Old 02-25-2009, 02:24 AM
 
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I had to have an u/s at 11 wk 3 days because they couldn't find the heartbeat. DD was born on her original due date and has been growing like a weed ever since.
Don't worry about it right now. Seriously. It doesn't mean much. I have known a lot of people who didn't hear it that soon and they have a perfectly health baby. Except one person. She ended up with perfectly healthy babIES.
Hang in there Momma!!!

Me with my baby girl Maeleigh (Oct 08) and My (step) baby girl Whren (May 05) in Heaven with her mommy .. And introducing our little JuneBug (June 10) We heard the !!!
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Old 02-25-2009, 02:35 AM
 
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my m/w refused (and i BEGGED) to even try to hear the heart before 10 weeks!

living in the with DH, DS (5-30-07) and DD (9-26-09) don't forget the dogs, cat, fish, toads and geckos.....
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Old 02-25-2009, 03:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmom17 View Post

Can you go back in 2 weeks for a quick check of the heartbeat instead of waiting 4 weeks?
ditto!

*Meghan* - Mom to Sam (5/14/08) and Joseph Scott born 9/10/09! and wife to amazing hubby Mike : ! WE LOVE OUR : FAMILY!
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Old 02-25-2009, 05:25 AM
 
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I had my first midwife appointment at 9 weeks and she didn't even mention trying to hear a heart beat. I've read that you usually can't hear it until you are closer to 12 weeks, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.
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Old 02-25-2009, 05:36 AM
 
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We couldn't hear a heartbeat at 11 weeks, so my doc had a very quick peek with the ultrasound machine and there it was, flickering away...

I was also very worried but she said it's quite normal at that stage of pregnancy and it turned out that I wasn't actually as far along as SHE had thought. (I knew better as I have long cycles)
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Old 02-25-2009, 05:36 AM
 
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I couldn't hear one at my 12 week appointment, the first time, with an OB, and had to wait until the next month. Sorry you didn't get to hear it, that's disappointing.
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Old 02-25-2009, 05:48 AM
 
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Not in you ddc, but couldn't help but respond. When I went in at 14weeks this pregnancy, they could not find a heartbeat. I requested that they do an ultrasound and they found it that way. s:
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Old 02-25-2009, 10:28 AM
 
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Originally Posted by tofutti View Post
my m/w refused (and i BEGGED) to even try to hear the heart before 10 weeks!

Same with me...he said that i was unlikely to hear it at 9 weeks, and he didn't want to make me worried if I didn't hear it. He never even tries until the ~12 week appointment.
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Old 02-25-2009, 11:34 AM
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I think it's REEEEEEEEAALY uncommon to hear anything before 10 weeks. I agree with other posters.. try to go in 2 weeks from now and check. you can rent dopplers too.. I acutally just bought one for 100 bucks on amazon. I didn't find the heartbeat yesterday when I first tried, but then DH found it pretty easily later on. So, it just depends.. I'm 11 weeks, by the way.. The OB didn't ven try to find the baby witht he doppler at my appt (10 weeks 3 days) and went straight for the ultrasound. Of course, you're using a midwife, and probably after a more natural experience.

Shannon Shaun - DH (and boyfriend since I was 16). my sweet Gwen 1/1/06 missing Dresden born sleeping 39 weeks 9/9/08 :, Delaney is scheduled to arrive 8/31/09 Odin&Loki :
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Old 02-25-2009, 12:10 PM
 
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The same thing happened to me at my last MW appointment. She said it was really early to try but did anyway and no luck. She said my uterus wasn't even above my pubic bone yet so it would be unlikely to hear anything. I was 10w5d at that appointment and now I will wait until my next appt to try again (14w5d).

I'm trying not to worry and even though I have been in this situation before and it ended in m/c before I ever even heard the heartbeat, even though I was almost 16w. My next appt was the day after I started bleeding and went for an emergency u/s and no heartbeat.

Really, what can I do but wait and see? I'm just going to try to enjoy the next few weeks and not worry. I really think this baby is just fine!

Mama to sweet Joey (01/27/06), rainbow1284.gif VBAC baby Rita born 09/12/09!
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Old 02-25-2009, 12:21 PM
 
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So sorry that you're having this stress!

I get obsessive about hearing the heartbeat (and I have a doppler at home), so I know how you feel. I hope you can run by your MW's office and hear it without having to wait another month.

Half-marathon running Mommy to 3 spunky girls and 1 sweet boy. Spending my days and nights where my kids need me most- at home with them!!

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Old 02-25-2009, 01:19 PM
 
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yeah - I have a doppler at home and STILL can't find the hb at over 13 weeks!!!! My dr. didn't even try at my last appt at over 12 weeks (but I had had an u/s earlier in the week so I know everything is fine - so don't worry! 9w is totally early!

Julia(34), Mommy to: Maddie(10), Grace(6), Charlotte (3) and our only Little Man (due 2/23). 

It's a crazy life!

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Old 02-25-2009, 01:43 PM
 
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Try not to worry, most midwives here won't even try to hear a heartbeat before 16 weeks as it can be so difficult and as a result worrying to the mother.
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Old 02-25-2009, 02:02 PM
 
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okay, i'm starting to feel like a freak of nature- i've heard all of my babies' heartbeats before 9wks- and was 7w6d this time around!

op, it sounds like you're definately in the majority, not the minority. try not to worry

Half-marathon running Mommy to 3 spunky girls and 1 sweet boy. Spending my days and nights where my kids need me most- at home with them!!

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Old 02-25-2009, 02:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all your responses! I am feeling a bit better this morning as a consequence. I just had a lot of expectation built up about yesterday and wanted that "proof". But as my DH keeps remarking, we are learning that their is nothing you can control or plan about babies. Also my appt in general was disappointing and not the nurturing moment I expected--my MW seemed rushed and distracted. : Hopefully that was a one-time thing.

I am fantasizing about getting in with my OB/GYN office (my pre-preg providers) and getting an u/s. . .but besides the possible insurance complication with going to two different first prenatal appts., I also really wanted to do this low-tech. So my desires are arguing right now.

Or I can just try to worry less (HA!) and assume that in another few weeks I will hear it and all will be well. Thanks again--I just keep trying imagine that tiny bean jumping around in there. . .

photosmile2.gif Me= crunchy mama to one rambunctious toddler, born on October 1, 2009. And one sweet little baby born January 19, 2012. heartbeat.gif

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Old 02-25-2009, 04:03 PM
 
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I hope you can reconcile your feelings soon. I totally understand your internal dilemma! If you NEED to have a more high'tech pregnancy to feel at peace, don't think you're a failure for doing so -

THINKING you'll know how you want things to go before you get pregnant and ACTUALLY wanting those things AFTER you're pregnant are two very different things....yk? Just go with it. Maybe you just NEED the high tech for your first pregnancy, and with subsequent ones you'll feel more at peace with less 'high tech', yk?

If you want, you could call your insurance company and ask them what can be done (I just did this) and make an apointment, and then cancel it if you change your mind, yk?

Julia(34), Mommy to: Maddie(10), Grace(6), Charlotte (3) and our only Little Man (due 2/23). 

It's a crazy life!

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Old 02-25-2009, 05:13 PM
 
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kismet, i totally get what you are saying, my midwife was so sweet she wrote out an order for an ultrasound for me way back at 7 (?) or so weeks cause i was stressin. she just wrote it was for "dating purposes"and then she winked at me, cause i know my dates exactly

and what a relief to see that heart. so i say, ask your midwife for a referral to an ultrasound place! (i mean a doc that specializes in ultrasounds, thats where they sent me. my midwife/ob doesnt have an ultrasound machine in office)

living in the with DH, DS (5-30-07) and DD (9-26-09) don't forget the dogs, cat, fish, toads and geckos.....
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Old 02-25-2009, 05:17 PM
 
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no worries mama. just think of how teeny tiny your little being is and where it is right now. pretty tucked away at this point.

we had our first visit last week (10weeks) and no hb. i'll be back to see you in a few weeks and we shall try again.

sending you happy mama vibes.:

mama to cecilia and rosa with 1 old:
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Old 02-25-2009, 05:18 PM
 
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oh, i forgot about the "dating" u/s- even when i know my dates are dead-on, my ob sends me out for a "dating" u/s because it does so much to relieve my stress. she told me back in 99 when i got pg w/dd#1 after a m/c that a quick u/s is way better for baby if it eases mama's stress and anxiety.

maybe your mw would be willing to get you set up for a quickie u/s that way!

Half-marathon running Mommy to 3 spunky girls and 1 sweet boy. Spending my days and nights where my kids need me most- at home with them!!

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Old 02-25-2009, 05:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Although I wasn't planning any u/s besides at 20 weeks, now I am just trying to decide between a quickie dating u/s or the first trimester screening (which is just a more detailed u/s and a blood test). I think that for my peace of mind I need to do this. . .even though my goal was for a low-tech preg.

And I do need to get the dating correct (as much as possible) b/c my MW won't do a homebirth if I go past 2 weeks overdue. Is this common? I got preg only my second cycle off the pill, so I wasn't regular yet, although I think I know when I ovulated. (But I could be totally wrong on that.) And I know my MW said she would write an order for a "dating" u/s even if we were pretty sure about the dates. We might have to pay for the 20 week u/s out of pocket though if I get one now. . .sigh.

Just want to see the little bean and know its all real

photosmile2.gif Me= crunchy mama to one rambunctious toddler, born on October 1, 2009. And one sweet little baby born January 19, 2012. heartbeat.gif

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Old 02-25-2009, 05:49 PM
 
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no HB here at 10w either
retroverted uterus
but there is a bouncing baby in there US confirmed
I too am going back at 12 weeks for a check

wife & holistic mama of 1 girl, 1 boy and 1 :
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Old 02-25-2009, 06:21 PM
 
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The same thing happened to me today!!

I am 10w6d, and my MW tried (although she later apologized, because I was a little upset and she acknowledged that she knew chances are she wouldn't be able to hear it) but couldn't hear the hb on the doppler.

I did have an US at 6w6d, and SAW the heartbeat, and since my hypermeisis is going strong (and no bad signs/spotting/etc) I KNOW everything's fine, but I sooooo wanted tangible proof! Just being a worrywart, I guess.

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Old 02-25-2009, 06:22 PM
 
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I'm 13 weeks and it took my MW (what seemed like) FOREVER to find the HB yesterday. She was really digging around.

I wouldn't worry about it.

~ deb, BFAR mommy to ds1 Dec 7, 2003, Jan 08, ds2 Sept 20, 2009
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Old 02-25-2009, 07:00 PM
 
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Oh - Kismet - btw, you might be able to see what the baby IS with the first trimester screening, just fyi I don't get to have it though.

Julia(34), Mommy to: Maddie(10), Grace(6), Charlotte (3) and our only Little Man (due 2/23). 

It's a crazy life!

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Old 02-25-2009, 08:16 PM
 
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Like everyone else said, 9 weeks is really early to hear anything. My OB tried for like 15 seconds and then just did the u/s because I had had a first trimester m/c before and he wanted to reassure me (which I desperately needed) and not only did he see the heartbeat, but the little peanut waved at us! My uterus tips backwards too, so I HOPE I can hear a heartbeat tomorrow (I'm at 13 weeks now) but I have to be careful with expectations.

None of this, of course, will help make the waiting easier. I am running around like a crazy woman reading everything on pregnancy and natural childbirth that I can find because just waiting to SHOW is driving me nuts! I've waited so long to be able to finally have a baby and now all I want is to be at 9 months and going through the perfect fantasy delivery I have all planned out in my head

It might help (both of us) to find other stuff to obsess over. Do you like scrapbooking? Crocheting? Wallpapering? Photography?
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Old 02-25-2009, 08:20 PM
 
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Not in your DDC, but thought I'd pop in to say that our MW won't even check with a doppler before 14 weeks ... so hang in there, mama!

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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Old 02-26-2009, 02:30 AM
 
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appointment with MW today, I'm 10 wks, no heartbeat: bum, bum, bum.

She scheduled a quicky appointment with me two weeks from today to check tones again. I was able to hear them by this point in my first pregnancy, so I sort of took it for granted that the little bugger would be audible this time. My husband was particularly disappointed, and that probably bums me out worst of all.

Ho hum: more waiting. Somehow e-waiting with others in this group makes it a little easier. Thanks.
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Old 02-26-2009, 05:31 AM
 
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I know how hard it can be to wait, like others have suggested you can have your midwife refer you to get an u/s....with my last pregnancy, my midwife sent me to get an u/s to confirm dates....hugs:

Mom to 5 little angels in Texas and expecting another blessing in Summer 2012!!:

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