Wow. Good thread.
I guess my main fear is that there will be something wrong with the baby. I work with special needs kids (autism, but in the past have worked with deaf and disabled children) and in my head ALL kids are special needs, because that's all I see every day... as opposed to it being the exception, which is the reality.
Due to various things in our family history, my hubby and I do probably have a higher chance of having a child with Autism. But even if you have the genetics for it, there is also an environmental trigger. So I'm TERRIFIED of eating or doing anything that might be an environmental trigger during pregnancy. For example: I will not eat ANY fish, due to mercury. They say eat low mercury fish, but maybe in a child predisposed to autism ANY mercury is too much and will trigger it?? I don't want pitocin also due to a silly fear over this... etc. I constantly worry that something I eat *even one time* might cause problems to my baby.
I've not had my first appointment yet (2 Mondays from now) and I'm afraid there will be no heartbeat, or when we have our first u/s, no limbs or something. Or (as so many have said) no baby at all! Just an elaborate physiological hoax!
Mostly I remind myself to be calm and positive, as stress will not help anything, but, going in to work every day as I do, it's hard.
In terms of other fears (and i feel guilty about these):
-I'm sure I'll love my kid, but what if I regret becoming a parent? I have spent a lot of time with babies and kids and feel confident handling them, but I won't be able to give this one back to it's parents at the end of the day!!! Yikes!
- What if I can't love him or her, or become resentful of his/her presence? I'm sure it will not happen, but it is an irrational fear. I can be emotionally aloof with romantic partners at times- what if I'm the same with my kid. That would be a horrible life for a child.
-I'm afraid for my vag. I know I'll get through labour, but I've heard terrible stories about birth from a L&D nurse I know, and what if there is irrepairable damage to my bits after?? What if I always have an ugly stretchmarked stomach that hangs down like a basketball forever?
-What if I am not able to be a good mother, in whatever way?