Where is the family/friend support? - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-11-2009, 10:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is baby #4 for us. I guess for most of our family and friends its old hat that we are having a baby again but I miss the conversation. I miss the checking in. I miss the "how are you doing" calls. Nobody calls or emails or visits. Its almost like people forgot. My mom is the only one who calls every other day or so but she would do that anyways.

When we had our first, people always called and asked about the babe in the belly. When we had her, people were here visiting days after.

It dwindled with the second and third and now, nothing. Nada. Zilch.

I had a sono last week to check position (they thought baby was oblique but he isnt) and I emailed the in-laws the pic and to let them know. I didnt even get a reply.

It would be nice to share my last pregancy with family and friends.
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Old 08-11-2009, 10:26 AM
 
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Nothing here either. This is our 3rd child and our children are pretty spread out in age so they are old enough to care for themselves pretty much.

With my first pregnancy everyone was extremely helpful and it was great. With the second there were offers to watch our oldest child all the time and help me out in any way they could. This time around not much. My whole family and DH's all live nearby. My mom never calls, dad/stepmom never call and my older children have gone from staying over at my dads once a month to not going over there at all and that began back in January. So...no help here. Although dad/stepmom are planning to watch our children when I have the baby. They are thrilled to be doing that, so I'm grateful for that.

But, yeah, the support just hasn't really been there. Maybe it's because we've both BT/DT so many times?

Proud *single* mom to 3 amazing kiddos
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Old 08-11-2009, 11:24 AM
 
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((Mab and darcy)) I know, it really sucks It would be really nice to have others sharing in the excitement that our little family is feeling and not just treating this baby like she's no big deal because she's the 4th one.

Half-marathon running Mommy to 3 spunky girls and 1 sweet boy. Spending my days and nights where my kids need me most- at home with them!!

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Old 08-11-2009, 12:03 PM
 
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Very little here as well

My coworkers are more excited than my family, which is nice to have at least!

Mommy to BigBoy Ian (3-17-05) ; LittleBoy Connor (3-3-07) (DiGeorge/VCFS):; BabyBoy Gavin (10-3-09) x3 AngelBaby (1-7-06)
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Old 08-11-2009, 04:11 PM
 
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Me too. : this is baby #3 and boy #2 and my mom, especially, is so NOT interested. She has asked me how I'm feeling or about the pregnancy only once or twice the ENTIRE pregnancy. Wasn't that excited when we told her we were expecting, wasn't excited at all when we told her we're expecting a boy. Of all the people in the world, I'd expect my MOM to be happy for me. Not so much.

My friends have been very supportive and sweet and happy for us, especially now that I'm getting close to birth, but I really wish my family was anywhere near as excited. I don't understand why any child after the first boy or first girl is seen as almost unnecessary.

wife to my  love.gif, mom toenergy.gif, blahblah.gif, jog.gif, and 3rdtri.gif ! a person is a person, no matter how small.

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Old 08-11-2009, 05:57 PM
 
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Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

My mom + stepdad and I are estranged so, yeah, no big hurrah. I had a hard time with it during the 2nd tri... remembering how with my first she would take me maternity clothes shopping, and she was all about decorating the nursery. A couple of years ago she told me she just wasn't "into being a grandma" and we haven't seen her since. She sends cards for the kids' b-days.

My dad + stepmom are much more supportive, but they live 1000 miles away. They visited recently, and my dad will prolly come down and hang out for a weekend after the babe is born to help out and meet him, but it is sad not having any grandparents in town.

As for my MIL, she is very sweet and will even take DD3 for a week after the baby is born, but she is another jet-setting grandma. Plus, this makes 7 grandbabies for her, the last probably, and I get the impression she is a bit daunted by all of the little ones that storm her house for holidays!

What is it with baby boomers?!? Yeesh!

Mom to : DS1 (11), DS2 (8), DD3 (4), : DS4 (1), and : : :
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Old 08-11-2009, 06:25 PM
 
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(((HUGS))) to everyone with lame families!

My family is interested, but I put up a pretty strong boundary. I hate the constant "how are you feeling?" questioning. I'm pregnant, I'm not ill. But that's just me. *shrug*

~ deb, BFAR mommy to ds1 Dec 7, 2003, Jan 08, ds2 Sept 20, 2009
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Old 08-11-2009, 06:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cymbeline View Post
My mom + stepdad and I are estranged so, yeah, no big hurrah. I had a hard time with it during the 2nd tri... remembering how with my first she would take me maternity clothes shopping, and she was all about decorating the nursery. A couple of years ago she told me she just wasn't "into being a grandma" and we haven't seen her since. She sends cards for the kids' b-days.
wow.that's harsh. you poor thing.

I forgot to mention that my sister IS giving us a baby shower in a couple of weeks. I am very thankful for that but at the same time there is soooo much family drama going on along with the shower at this point that I almost don't want to go. It's crazy. My family is soooo dysfunctional.

Proud *single* mom to 3 amazing kiddos
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Old 08-12-2009, 11:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Mommas. I wish nobody could relate but it looks like I am not alone. At least we have the DDC to share and talk about things right?
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Old 08-13-2009, 12:54 AM
 
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Originally Posted by MabMama View Post
At least we have the DDC to share and talk about things right?
This is how I feel about most aspects of this pregnancy, as my family is far far away. DP's mom is awesome, but I can tell she tries to keep her distance and not 'step on toes' since I'm not her daughter. :-( Might be that even if my family were close, you ladies would still be the better support I need right now.

Hugs to you all.

single, WAH home, to my only very kind & sweet lil man
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Old 08-13-2009, 03:28 AM
 
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DDC my mil this is her first grand child and prob ONLY and she diesnt give a flip she got the baby a crib and said that her part of being a grand ma was done and also told me DONT EXPECT ME TO EVER baby sit WTF?

Jen loveing Wifey to my Hubby Jeremy Mommy to Austin David and KayLeigh marie
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Old 08-13-2009, 03:32 AM
 
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Well this is not even my 4th - its my first one and my Dad never calls me and asks how I'm doing or how the baby's doing Everyone has even gotten the baby a gift except him. My mom swears he is excited (they are divorced but still talk) but I can't see it. I call him and leave messages and never get calls back. This hurts more than I usually let on.

Happily married 1 year. our first born Sept 28th. : , :, :, , :.
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Old 08-13-2009, 09:17 AM
 
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My parents are vaguely interested. My coworkers often forget that I'm pregnant because I 'don't act pregnant' (huh?) amd generally, everyone seems to think that this baby is a non-issue since it isn't the first, and our last was so recent. Meh- I don't care about how they act towards me, but the disinterest won't be tolerated towards the child later on.... he/she deserves to be special too!
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