UPDATED in #21: If anyone can spare some positive thoughts and prayers today - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-15-2009, 01:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I could really use them!

I am 41+6 today and feel like I'm looking down the barrel of a gun. DH and I are not getting along and it is a HUGE mental block for me. I really think it is getting in the way of me going into spontaneous labor.

I feel like I will probably lose my home birth and need to be induced at the hospital.

I have an NST and BPP today and then will see my MW and she will sweep my membranes. I will also find out what her backup OB said (she was supposed to call her yesterday to consult about my case).

I have to leave the house in 2.5 hrs. I can't stop crying.

Going to scrub the floor now....maybe that will help because I have tried everything else!

~ deb, BFAR mommy to ds1 Dec 7, 2003, Jan 08, ds2 Sept 20, 2009
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Old 09-15-2009, 02:02 PM
 
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Good thoughts coming to you. I am in the same boat, except I'm only 38+3, so I'm trying not to stress about labor yet, but DH and I are having a very tough time, too. He's been out of work since April and I know he feels crappy about it, but he's taking it out on me and DS and I'm just so beyond sick of his crap. He says he's a loser...well, anyone can lose their job and it's a tough time for a job hunt right now, but what is making him a LOSER is the fact that he lays around and does nothing all day, ignores DS while I try to WAH so DS bothers me and I can't get anything done, he doesn't clean up the house at all, so I have to try to do all that in addition to working at home, caring for DS, and being 9 months pregnant...what does he do, you ask? Well, like I said, watches court programs and Maury all day and then tries to dash out of the house to go to the casino every chance he gets. He has me asking my family for money so we can pay the bills...and then he runs out and gambles away his unemployment check, really cute. And then he's just mean to me on top of it, yesterday he made me cry in Costco because I told him that we couldn't buy a $10 2-pack of Acai juice for his mother considering we have only $100 to last us for food and gas until the 2nd week of October. So he got mad. I just want to run away.

Mama to 2 sweet gorgeous children, a 4-year-old DS and a 1-year-old DD.
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Old 09-15-2009, 02:06 PM
 
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Big hug to you!!!

Floor scrubbing is mind-numbing, it might work.... but try also grabbing couple of minutes, sit down somewhere quiet, and regroup.

Imagine a great meeting with a midwife, normal results of NST and BPP...
Find your inner peace and calm, and you'll influence those around you.

Also, talk to your baby - just love and encouragement.

I'm sending you all the positive vibes, and I know you can do it, although I do not know you personally!


:
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Old 09-15-2009, 02:12 PM
 
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Sending you labor vibes!

Minimalist-living mama on an urban ecovillage with DH and DS- Jack (9/18/09)
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Old 09-15-2009, 02:16 PM
 
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:big HUGE s. I was late with ds. I took two very long walks over 5 miles each. Less than 12 hours later, slam bam labor. Labor was only 12 hours. Walking not only put my body into to gear but cleared my head as dh and I were not getting along at all.

:CLC,Doula :Mama to 2
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Old 09-15-2009, 02:25 PM
 
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aw. s to you. I'm so sorry that this is such a stressful time for you. I know that you've already done all you could to naturally induce labor. Maybe now you just need to clear your head of the worry and anxiety. It could be what's blocking you from going into labor. I'm still sending labor vibes your way and I really hope that you go into labor soon! It will be okay, no matter what happens. s

reading.gifwife to superhero.gifDH, mom to bouncy.gifDS (9/24/09) and heartbeat.gifDS (EDD: 4/24/11)
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Old 09-15-2009, 03:47 PM
 
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ELVs to you....

Proud *single* mom to 3 amazing kiddos
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Old 09-15-2009, 03:55 PM
 
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HUGE HUGS Mamas
hang in there soon you will be able to hold your new babes, which will be a ray of sunshine in your dark hours

wife & holistic mama of 1 girl, 1 boy and 1 :
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Old 09-15-2009, 03:57 PM
 
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you know what, Deymm, just let go of all of those problems with your husband. they don't matter at all right now.

right now, it's between you and your baby. focus exclusively on that -- segment your life away from the DH for now, if that's what it takes. separate bedrooms, separate meals, whatever it takes.

good luck!!!!

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Old 09-15-2009, 04:02 PM
 
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Oh, Deb,

I would gently caution you against deciding it's any issue with your DH that's delaying labor. That could cause a rift that's hard to heal later.

Science is learning that it's the baby's brain that tells mom's body when to go into labor, not anything you're doing or not doing.

It seems like you're both anxious about this situation. Can you have a heart to heart and talk about how you're both feeling?

My thoughts are with you today!!

Natalie
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Old 09-15-2009, 04:06 PM
 
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I'm so sorry and I am sending you all the ELV's and spontaneous birth vibes I can muster!! :::

Erin : ~~ unschooling mama to DD (12) , DS (11) :, DS (8) and DS (3) , DD Soleil Emily Meadow (9-18-09) born at home in the water
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Old 09-15-2009, 04:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angelachristin;14385135I
just want to run away.
Yikes it sounds like you have it pretty rough right now too! sounds like your dh might be depressed, I hope he is able to find his way out of his funk for you, ds and new babe!

Erin : ~~ unschooling mama to DD (12) , DS (11) :, DS (8) and DS (3) , DD Soleil Emily Meadow (9-18-09) born at home in the water
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Old 09-15-2009, 04:08 PM
 
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My fingers are crossed that the dr. says all good things and that the GOOD news and membrane sweep send you into labor.

Hang in there - one way or another, you are on the HOME STRETCH here and you'll be meeting your baby SO SOON!!!!!!

Julia(34), Mommy to: Maddie(10), Grace(6), Charlotte (3) and our only Little Man (due 2/23). 

It's a crazy life!

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Old 09-15-2009, 04:19 PM
 
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sending good vibes to you! I'm sorry your DH is giving you a hard time. Is there any place that you can go just to feel unwind for a bit?

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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Old 09-15-2009, 06:09 PM
 
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Oh, mama, I can hear the frustration and exhaustion in your post. I hope something happens for you soon.

Minions...I've got minions. Sheepish.gifblahblah.gifangel2.gifkid.gif  And dogs.  
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Old 09-15-2009, 06:14 PM
 
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i've been praying for you. this sounds so difficult and frustrating. i'm so sorry.
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Old 09-15-2009, 06:50 PM
 
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Many hugs & good thoughts for you!

--Caitlyn, mom to : DS (4/05) and DD (9/09)
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Old 09-15-2009, 07:01 PM
 
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Mom to dd (8), ds (6), and dd (1)

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Old 09-15-2009, 07:04 PM
 
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You're definitely in my thoughts today. I hope something good happens for you soon!

Mother of two great little guys, G (9/28/09) and W (1/20/12)

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Old 09-15-2009, 07:31 PM
 
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Baby will be here soon and will change your whole perspective. I hope you can find something to comfort you til then. I know how grueling the wait is.

Ali - Wife to Steve and mom to Zoe - age 7, and Ezra - 17 months (9/2009)
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Old 09-15-2009, 10:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Six hours later we're finally home. I hate city traffic.

DH was home for a "study" day today. He was going to get DS from school and stay home so I could go to the appointements by myself. Since I was having a very rough morning--I couldn't stop crying--he called my sister to get DS and he came with me instead. It really helped having him with me and it helped smooth things over between us.

First we went to the Maternal/Fetal Medicine doc for the BPP and NST. We sat there for what felt like forever. First, they weighed me and took my BP. The first nurse took it twice, then went out and got the other nurse to take it again. Uh oh. It was 130/80ish. I was SOOOO nervous, I'm sure it was just white coat hypertension b/c I was so scared about what we might find out today.

I was so tired cuz I was up til 2 a.m. crying last night and then was up at 7 a.m. to get DS to school this morning. They have a nice recliner for you to sit in for the NST, so I tried to sit back and relax and snooze. DH was fascinated by the machine and the read out and the heart beat and all that. LOL

After 30+ mins in the NST chair, the tech started the BPP and the doctor came in and finished it--they had squeezed me in to their schedule after all, so it was no biggie. The baby cooperated nicely and everything is perfect--10 out of 10. My placenta is still grade 1! So there are no immediate concerns there. This time the doc did not mention baby's size. Whew.

On the way there, DH suggested we find out the sex so I did ask the doc. He looked at us both like we were crazy since we have waited this long. He didn't want to tell us! So we didn't find out.

From there we rushed over to the MW's office for that appointment. She measured me and was about to take out the doppler but then stopped and was like "duh, you just had an NST like we need to listen again?" LOL. It was pretty funny. My BP registered high there as well (again 130/80ish) but she said my pulse was high and she knew I was nervous, so she wasn't concerned. At that point I started bawling, so yeah, I was nervous.

She checked me--still 2-3cm, a bit more effaced, though. And then she swept my membranes. O.M.G. That is the most uncomfortable feeling I have ever experienced in my life.

We talked about what to do and at this point we are in a holding pattern and she is letting ME call the shots! WHEW!!! HUGE WEIGHT OFF OF ME!!!! We talked about what else we can do to induce things naturally, so tomorrow I'll get more acupuncture and probably do castor oil--maybe even tonight on the castor oil. Oh, and I plan on taking a big long walk (they finally finished repaving the walking path by my house--hooray!). The only requirement is that I have to get a BPP and NST EVERY OTHER DAY. So it is going to get crazy with appointments, but I would rather do that then be on the slippery slope of interventions with an induction.

I am totally wiped out now--what an emotionally draining day--so DH is going to put DS to bed and tuck me in too.

Thank you for all your kind words and support. They have truly lifted me up!

~ deb, BFAR mommy to ds1 Dec 7, 2003, Jan 08, ds2 Sept 20, 2009
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Old 09-15-2009, 10:47 PM
 
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I'm so glad you're doing so well still!!! Hang in there, it sounds like you are fine, baby is fine, and you have good care providers who are working with you. Enjoy your walk tonight

Mommy to BigBoy Ian (3-17-05) ; LittleBoy Connor (3-3-07) (DiGeorge/VCFS):; BabyBoy Gavin (10-3-09) x3 AngelBaby (1-7-06)
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Old 09-15-2009, 11:29 PM
 
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Oh I'm so glad everything went okay for you today!

Have you take castor oil in the past? I think the best way to take it is with orange juice. At least equal parts (the less you have to chug back) and shake them REALLY HARD together and drink quickly! Almost undetectable like that.

Good luck, I hope you don't need any more NSTs!

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Old 09-15-2009, 11:37 PM
 
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I hope you can GET SOME REST, stay hydrated, and eat well so you aren't over tired when you do go into labor. I am so happy you've overcome this hurdle for the time being. Come on, baby!!

Minions...I've got minions. Sheepish.gifblahblah.gifangel2.gifkid.gif  And dogs.  
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Old 09-16-2009, 12:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angelachristin View Post
Good thoughts coming to you. I am in the same boat, except I'm only 38+3, so I'm trying not to stress about labor yet, but DH and I are having a very tough time, too. He's been out of work since April and I know he feels crappy about it, but he's taking it out on me and DS and I'm just so beyond sick of his crap. He says he's a loser...well, anyone can lose their job and it's a tough time for a job hunt right now, but what is making him a LOSER is the fact that he lays around and does nothing all day, ignores DS while I try to WAH so DS bothers me and I can't get anything done, he doesn't clean up the house at all, so I have to try to do all that in addition to working at home, caring for DS, and being 9 months pregnant...what does he do, you ask? Well, like I said, watches court programs and Maury all day and then tries to dash out of the house to go to the casino every chance he gets. He has me asking my family for money so we can pay the bills...and then he runs out and gambles away his unemployment check, really cute. And then he's just mean to me on top of it, yesterday he made me cry in Costco because I told him that we couldn't buy a $10 2-pack of Acai juice for his mother considering we have only $100 to last us for food and gas until the 2nd week of October. So he got mad. I just want to run away.
I PM'd you about what is going on....

Wife to DH who worshipsbow.gif me (code for tolerates me) (2001), mom of one DDsleepytime.gif (April 2002) and one DDfly-by-nursing1.gif who arrived forcefully (Sept 2009) Caretaker of Boogie the cat and fish/reef hobbyist. Just tryin' to maintain...banghead.gifteapot2.GIF In major need of...grouphug.gif

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Old 09-16-2009, 12:08 AM
 
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Originally Posted by nataliekat View Post
Oh, Deb,

I would gently caution you against deciding it's any issue with your DH that's delaying labor. That could cause a rift that's hard to heal later.

Science is learning that it's the baby's brain that tells mom's body when to go into labor, not anything you're doing or not doing.

It seems like you're both anxious about this situation. Can you have a heart to heart and talk about how you're both feeling?

My thoughts are with you today!!

Natalie
I agree totally about the science part as they did not even think anything like this just 7 short years ago! That is when I had my first. There is so much that we as humans don't know and probably will never know. We make snap decisions and just accept that as truth.

Wife to DH who worshipsbow.gif me (code for tolerates me) (2001), mom of one DDsleepytime.gif (April 2002) and one DDfly-by-nursing1.gif who arrived forcefully (Sept 2009) Caretaker of Boogie the cat and fish/reef hobbyist. Just tryin' to maintain...banghead.gifteapot2.GIF In major need of...grouphug.gif

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Old 09-16-2009, 12:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by lisa_nc View Post
I hope you can GET SOME REST, stay hydrated, and eat well so you aren't over tired when you do go into labor. I am so happy you've overcome this hurdle for the time being. Come on, baby!!
Yep, just took a soak in the tub and guzzled some water. Headed for bed and it's not even 10 p.m. yet! That is unheard of for me--I am a night owl.

DH is asleep on the couch--we must both be resting up knowing what is to come!

~ deb, BFAR mommy to ds1 Dec 7, 2003, Jan 08, ds2 Sept 20, 2009
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Old 09-16-2009, 01:43 AM
 
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Hope the labor fairy greats you tonight! Glad your day got better.

:CLC,Doula :Mama to 2
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Old 09-16-2009, 01:45 AM
 
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Sending you lots of peace and rest for a good night's sleep tonight, followed by lots and lots of labor vibes!

Guin

caffix.giftoddler.gifnocirc.gifBusy, grateful mama to: Kieran (12); Hanna (10); Cameron (8);
Charlotte (6);Sophie (5) Down Syndrome & so beautiful! brokenheart.gif(9/08), & rainbow1284.gifDuncan 8/26/09
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Old 09-16-2009, 09:25 AM
 
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i just got to read this post. how difficult for you! I am glad that dh came around to being more supportive, and that the MW is letting you call the shots! I am sending labor vibes your way for sure!

Momma to Samuel Wyatt 8/15/09 and our new addition Jack 9/25/11!   mdcblog5.gif  winner.jpgcd.gif

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